ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 30

If you feel I don't mention user responses enough it's certainly not for a lack of comments. There were plenty, but as I've said before, usually not too story-relevant. As expected there were ones about Agent Kimber being 'licensed to thrill' and quite a few asking why we hadn't said more about their favorite Bond stuff.
The requests kept pouring in and while a few were reasonable and occasionally useable, others were outright baffling. If they thought the show was a suitable venue for a balloon strip they were barking up the wrong tree. They should have come to The Stone while the getting was good to see that, even if it had been Carrie's domain. Not that Kim hadn't tried it during rehearsals, though. It was a pleasant memory and she actually gave the rest of the household a repeat performance after being reminded by the request. Partly to show she could if she wanted to - and partly as a prelude to even more lurid acts.
The birthday greeting opened up another floodgate of suggestions to put all the members' usernames on freshly inflated balloons - or at the very least the sender's.
"What's up with that?" Kriss wondered. "People usually ask me to write my name."
Alex shrugged. "Guess it feels like being made part of the show. We used to do it alla time on cam."
Kim agreed. "That, probably. I've no problem with it but there's a time and place."
Speaking of signatures, she had sold a few autographed photos - but more surprisingly, so had I. I'd been so dazed by the concept I'd ruined the first by writing 'Jackie Toff' across the glossy surface before remembering I wasn't going by that anymore. And in addition to smaller bags, two full hundred-packs of loons had been sent out along with some free samples. There might be a chance we'd get rid of them all before the latex passed the sell-by date.
I actually don't hate it when Kriss is right. I kinda love it even if it can be exasperating. The DVD's proved to be one of her brighter ideas, since we got nothing but absolutely rave - or raving, take your pick - reviews of the commentaries. Then again, the few buyers were probably loyal enough to have praised any extras.
And there I go again, putting down people I really appreciate just to burst Krissie's bubble a bit. Sorry about that, fellas - your feedback did make me choke up a bit. In the best way. There'll be an even better Volume 2, I promise.

While Kriss and Lex usually stay away from the writing process, they proved pretty creative in making up 'Bond girl' names for themselves just so they could demand an audition with Kim under the same circumstances I'd ended up in. While Agent Blonde had proved really capable and insisted on inflating the B.B. Puffitude ('Blow Boat', see previous publications) without assistance, I played a more proactive role in providing the usual hero's reward. As in taking command of the entire situation.
"You'd make a lousy Bond", I told her afterwards. "For a start he'd never say 'I love you' that much."
"He would if he'd gotten that..."
“And he wouldn’t even have tried mouth-inflation. He would’ve had some nifty pump hidden up a sleeve. Or if he had, he would’ve wound up so winded he couldn’t perform”, I added.
Kim chuckled. “Lightweight.”
Be that as it may, she later was joined aboard by in turn ‘Goldie Horne’ and ‘Belle Brassica’. You might see why I get stuck at the keyboard. And I'd promised Kim a run-down of the entire fantasy genre which, I must confess, isn't really my forte. Things didn't improve by Kim getting a kick out of roleplaying a secret agent and decided she'd be an elf this time. And not the Santa's helper kind, but going full-on Galadriel. Or something like that. The outfit would have to be rented, that much was clear, or we'd blow far too much cash on a single appearance.
Kriss had anticipated the episode nearly as much because she felt it meant she could write a flute piece to accompany the preparation video for ambience. But here's the thing - of all the instruments she knows how to play, the flute is definitely not her specialty. Sure, she can do brief passages when needed, but a virtuoso she ain't. Which became painfully clear once it was time to record it. Poor Kriss was heartbroken after all the work she'd put in composing the thing and there was only one thing to do - call Connecticut for assistance once more. Jo's more than competent and was happy to help out, especially after what we'd given her beloved.
"Samy's over the moon”, she reported. “Would have needed a crowbar to get her away from the screen the first night."
"Hope it didn't spoil anything."
"On the contrary. She was still beaming once she came to bed."
So we sent the sheet music over and got a usable version in return. While her recording equipment was way below what Kriss had the results weren't bad and being in the background would make the sound quality irrelevant.
Kim had decided to consult experts too and let the costumers handle her makeup. Which meant she returned wearing not only a dazzling wintergreen gown with plenty of silver accessories - both needlework and jewelry with inlaid fake diamonds - but lovely pointy ears that didn't look ridiculous in the least and makeup that fairly shone with faint traces of glitter. The cheeks were shaded to accentuate her cheekbones and her beautiful blue eyes were framed by lashes exaggerated just enough to emphasize the otherworldly appearance. The final touch was a circlet around her brow, vanishing at the sides under masses of hair - obviously not just decorative but holding the tiny flowers peeking out of her 'do as well. I had no idea what they'd done to make her tresses so airy and lustrous, but the result was remarkable. She was stunning, if you're into that sort of thing, and I suddenly realized I was. At least for the moment. The only downside being it was pretty evidently a look-but-don't-touch affair.
After all the admiration she could handle from her mates - Lexi even whimpering at the first glance - we got ready for filming. We'd decided to do it outside because the main prop wouldn't fit in the studio and besides, a backdrop of greenery would be just the thing. But first there was an impromptu photo session, because that look had to be preserved. Kriss even told her to blow up a green promo balloon to pose with in case we wanted glossies and after that was done she changed her mind to yellow for better contrast. Oh, and an orange one while she was at it? Plus a magenta for good measure.
Despite the ten-plus minutes spent on that it wasn't a waste - I was sure the members would like the behind-the-scenes reel. But they'd probably be even more awed by the preparation of our most massive prop yet. We'd placed a sort-of-oriental rug on the grass to protect the dress and Kim sat down on it. She'd be standing for the main presentation, but what she was about to do didn't quite lend itself to that. After setting up the rest of the equipment the fun could begin.

"One of the most popular concepts of magic is the ability to control the elements. Making rain or part rivers, ordering the earth to shake or shoot fire from your fingertips."
Kimber wiggled her hands in front of her.
"I can't do any of that, but I have some command over air. I'm going to use it to summon my familiar - watch."
If you expected some tiny inflatable or mylar you'd be dead wrong, but I hoped someone would just for the surprise. Blowser was all set with a larger-than-usual adapter already placed in her main valve and Kim gracefully pulled the deflated form into view. Without hesitation and wearing a gentle smile she brought the tube to her lips and blew in a long, full breath. It was immediately followed by another, and from that point Kim seem to be fully absorbed by the undertaking. After all, doing magic requires concentration.
I'd been worried she'd overdo it and break the illusion of dignity - this would take some time so going slow wasn't an option - and while usually looking cool, sexy or funny the red face and crossed eyes might be a little out of place in this setting. But Kim must have thought the same, as she toed the line of overexertion without crossing it. How she managed to appear so serene while blowing so hard is a mystery for the ages - even with fully inflated cheeks she somehow kept the regal, elfin appearance. Now and then she opened her eyes to check how she was getting along, though it felt like a natural part of the spell.
I saw Lexi silently slinking away after biting her lips a long while and felt a bit like joining her. It was difficult to not gasp at the sight and ruin the soundtrack. Kriss, however, was taking it in with professional approval and a lecherous grin. I decided to try that approach, which might have the added benefit of motivating Kim.
Maybe it had nothing to do with us, but I thought the elven queen now seemed even happier about blowing up her dragon. Or it could be she was halfway done and saw the end was within reach. Either way she was clearly enjoying herself while the wrinkly green vinyl unfolded and puffed up with ever-increasing amounts of her breath. Her face kept inflating with every exhale and reflected the sunlight in gleaming round spots that made the expansion seem even greater. She'd been prescient enough to angle Blowser in a way that wouldn't obstruct her even as the dragon grew full and its impressive size almost defied belief. There was something unreal about the contrast between the gaudy plastic and the near-ethereal lady bringing it to shape and life with air straight from her mouth. Kim had blown it up from almost nothing without pausing and now it towered majestically above her, although not high enough to go out of frame. Two slightly curved horns swept backwards from the smiling head, looking almost sharp despite being made from inflated PVC. The crouched legs grew taut along with the rest of the body and spiky tail, and once the creature was firm and steady on the ground Kim capped the valve and pushed it in. The dragon’s floppy wing extending from elbow to shoulder received a few powerful puffs from its mistress and then Kimber spun the creature around to repeat the process on the other side. She looked very pleased with her work.
"Whew! I'll admit it takes some effort, but so much better than a bat or something, don't you think?"
She rose and put her arms around Blowser's neck, embracing it while grinning at the camera. That would be a good for a fadeout, so I went to hug her myself.
"Incredible. That belongs in the realm of fantasy for sure."
"Hope so. Any idea for the subscribers? The sax is out."
Kriss came up for a hug too and held up a bag. "I brought an assortment."
While there were quite a few types of loons none really felt right. Kim made a half-hearted attempt at blowing up a bulging green zeppelin for the camera but realized she couldn't think of anything to say and blew it to burst on general principle. Good extra, bad script.
By now Lexi had returned and while she was itching to touch a hug had to do for her too. She did have the bright idea of contacting an expert, so I called Mandy.
"This isn't gonna sound odder than many things we've done, but is there something in the way of loons a fantasy elf could plausibly blow up?"
She didn't even need five seconds. "A crystal ball!"
We spoke a little more while at it, but there'd be no better alternative. Only problem – our loons weren't crystal clear. Or spherical.
So it was off to the decorators while Kim had a well-earned rest along with some snacks Lex had prepared. Mine would have to wait while I picked up a few eight-inch bubble balloons. That was the starting size though and I realized I'd never seen how big they could get. Hopefully not huge - they weren't latex, after all.

Back in front of the cam Kim made a spiel about wanting to look into the future and needing the right tool. She produced the pre-stretched and strawed balloon from god knows where and inhaled deeply. The transparent material filled up and swelled out as she blew into it, some condensation forming on the inner wall but not enough to ruin the impression. It was far better than the milky rubber version.
The globe reached the intended size and Kim gazed at it.
"Can't really make anything out... Maybe if it was bigger?"
She resumed blowing through the thin tube and the ball expanded quite a bit, approaching sixteen inches across and maybe a little more. It still wasn't enough for any prescient visions, so the would-be scryer decided to go for broke and began inflating it with more force than strictly necessary.
It broke all right, but not before reaching what I imagined must have been at least twenty-five inches. Kim kept staring at it throughout, as if hoping to make something of the contents. But it was all a lot of hot air and before she'd reached any conclusions it had popped, contracted and dropped to the ground in a fraction of a second. She looked up at the viewers.
"Seems like the future will hold an explosion!"
That was more than likely, but the size the balloon had grown to was unexpected. Kriss demanded to blow up one of the spares to see what it was like and since we had no immediate use for them I let her. She inflated it at least as big and after it burst she remarked how different it had felt to the touch.
"Could be good for riding", she noted.
Alex looked thoughtful. "Would be cool if there were beachballs made from that. Talk about space-saving."
The idea had merit, even if might not prove practical. Anyway, it was about time to get started on the main show if we wanted to be done by dinner, or even before sundown.
Kim scanned through the script one last time and this time - with no cue cards or papers in front of her - she slipped up a couple of times and had to correct herself at my signals. We did keep it in since there was no irrecoverable damage to the flow. I'm just gonna break it down real quick because writing it once was tiresome enough.
With the rug removed, the presenter stood next to the huge inflatable whose tail stretched somewhat upwards towards the decorative trees by the garden wall. Kim was positioned so she could lean against Blowser’s neck for support or effect, if she wanted to. But that’s just a stage description. What she said went something like this:
“Fantasy is a genre dealing with the, well, fantastic – the supernatural, magic or unreal. Most of the ancient mythological stories can be said to belong to it, and romances and fairy tales from the middle ages and onwards also qualify, but I thought we’d look at stuff that’s not usually sorted under those headings. The two main things separating modern fantasy from those is that it’s admitted fiction and has a named author.”
She mentioned that the older versions usually took place in our world, even if it was “long ago and far away”, while newer works often but not always are set in a fictional place with its own rules, history and geography. Some of the first examples were written in the fairy tale style, like ‘The Nutcracker’ by E.T.A. Hoffman and basically everything by H.C. Andersen. Scotsman George MacDonald is generally thought to have written the first fantasy novel for adults, ‘Phantastes’. But the fantastic elements were more accepted in books nominally for children – hence Carroll’s ‘Alice in Wonderland’, Barrie’s ‘Peter Pan’ and L. Frank Baum’s ‘Oz’ books. Lord Dunsany accentuated his tales with an elaborate, flowery style which many have tried aping with disastrous results. Good for parodies, though.
Kim worked through the gist of all that, except with more and simpler words.
“In the early 20th century magazines - especially pulps – proved a great way for fantasy authors to sell their stuff. The first and most famous was ‘Weird Tales’ where writers like H.P. Lovecraft – more known for horror stories – and Robert E. Howard proved popular. The latter thought up Conan the Barbarian, one of the most copied characters in fantasy. Another magazine mainstay was Fritz Leiber, who coined the phrase ‘Swords and Sorcery’ to describe his work.”
Well, his content might be more appropriate but I was impressed she’d gotten the rest about right.
“The big name is of course J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘The Lord of the Rings’ while creating an incredibly detailed setting for them. His definitions of elves and dwarves have become a standard in the genre, and he also introduced hideous creatures called orcs.”
She went on to say that Tolkien was friends with C.S. Lewis who wrote the ‘Narnia’ books and that the first major female fantasy writer was Ursula K. Leguin. Kim managed to remember saying that Michael Moorcock popularized the concept of Law against Chaos in his ‘Elric’ books, which many other writers would allude to or outright borrow. I suspect she mainly did because of the author’s name.
“The first fantasy book on the New York Times bestseller list was ‘The Sword of Shanandra’ – sorry, Shannara – by Terry Brooks. I think it came out in 1977. Since then others have frequently made it, but it’s pretty recent, don’t you think?”
Some name dropping followed and I just knew people would react to her forgetting Donaldson, but so, so many others were left out on purpose we’d hear about it anyway.
“J.K. Rowling’s ‘Harry Potter’ series proved incredibly popular, though she claims she wasn’t aware she was writing fantasy. That just makes her look dumb, right?”
Kim rounded off by saying it’s still a popular genre and many more names will probably be added in the future, then went on to a different medium.
“Fantasy has always been difficult to transform into moving pictures, because of all the special effects needed. Disney adapted a couple of fantasy books – ‘The Sword in the Stone’ by White and ‘The Black Cauldron’ by Alexander, but that was of course animation. CGI changed all that and the ‘Lord of the Rings’ movies proved once and for all it can be done well by now. Even for TV – you may have heard of a little show called ‘Game of Thrones’. It’s based on the books of George R.R. Martin.”
And for once, yet another medium.
“Also, roleplaying games are often set in fantasy worlds, both tabletop ones like ‘Dungeons and Dragons’ or computer versions. They let the players bring their own fantasies to life, which wouldn’t be quite as interesting in a mundane setting. Books make you use your imagination to picture what happens, but games encourage you to help deciding it too. Whatever your interest, chances are you’ll cross paths with fantasy at some point.”
Then only the disclaimer remained.
“I know I’ve left out so much! But give a girl a break” – here she leaned against the dragon, probably to get some mileage out of all that blowing – “there’s only so much I can remember! Why don’t you do me a favor and put the important stuff in the comments? That way everyone can learn – including me.”
By now you know how the episodes always end - but this time, after blowing the kiss, she re-leaned against Blowser, who slid away and made Kim topple over. It was a magnificent fall and my heart caught in my throat anticipating the effects on the dress. It was just dumb luck she has a dancer’s reflexes and managed to land hands first. It was still neither elegant, dignified nor graceful. Alex ran to help her up and I gave her a choice right away.
“Not bad - except for the end. Retake or freeze frame?”
I don’t think you need much imagination to guess the answer.

Having checked we had everything we needed no time was wasted in relieving Kim of her gown. But there was no time to remove either the jewelry or the ears as we were all very much set on the same thing. Without delay she was brought to bed and even after we’d all finished making love to her it didn’t seem enough either for us or for Kim. So we fucked her good and hard, her makeup and finery adding more than a little excitement. But she still wasn’t satisfied, and to tell the truth neither was I after all the tension and buildup throughout the day.
“I wanna hump Blowser too…” the now-disheveled elf half moaned.
Out of the question on the lawn of course, but fortunately we have double patio doors and could drag the dragon inside. Kimmy immediately dropped to her knees and started to blow in even more air, working in a frenzy to finish as soon as she could. Testing the firmness with her fingers she added a few final breaths before jumping up to straddle the improvised sex toy. The thrusting and grinding began at once and the vinyl hide bulged and contorted ever so slightly in response. Kim had blown it as stiff as she dared but it looked so sturdy I had no fear even as Lexi climbed on behind her. Wrapping her arms around her lover she fondled and pinched her breasts while both groaned and gasped with delight at the bouncy ride.
Kriss slipped from my arms and put one leg over Blowser’s tail, crouching as she tried to put the smallest spike inside herself. She only managed to pin the appendage beneath her ass but apparently it did something as she beckoned me over to try the adjacent one. I sat down as gently as I could and immediately felt a jolt of pleasure from the pointy but soft part pressing against my privates. Leaning forward to embrace Kriss the sensation only grew, enhanced by her lips and tongue against mine. Rubbing against the inflated plastic was amazing and even better by knowing it was filled with my beloved Kimmy-coo’s breath. I could hear her yelps and whines behind me along with Lexi’s, while any sounds from Kriss were muffled by my mouth. Her touch more than compensated and soon I was so dizzy with arousal I stopped noticing even the creaks and squeaks of the air-filled critter we were riding. Lights flashed across the inside of my eyelids and when the shrill noise of Kim coming cut through everything I knew I had to catch up, catch up real soon. Kriss was already getting tense and I wanted to beat her to the punch, not out of envy but sheer, eager lust.
Pushing down with all my might I didn’t give a damn if Blowser popped – I’d do a patch ’n puff all by myself if I could only get off right this instant. I felt Kriss speeding up as well and for a hot second thought all four of us jumping together would stand a fair chance of making it a literal bang, and then all reason was swept away in a torrent of ecstasy. I tossed my head back to scream and heard both Kriss and Lex join in before everything became calm as we came to a rest on the still intact inflatable.
With the urgency gone, the tail spike was no longer as comfortable and I rose without reluctance. Kim slid off her seat too and planted a big kiss on Blowser’s snout.
“I think this one’s the best of the bunch.”
“Better fuck’em all to make sure”, Kriss suggested.
“No”, Kim said. “I draw the line at humping a hot dog.”
It had been a wonderful afternoon and evening. Now there was just the small matter of the oversized pool toy in the living room. I looked the scene over.
“Don’t know about you but I think she’ll like it better in the fun-geon.”
“Definitely”, Kim said and leaned down to pull the plug as if it had been no work at all filling it up. “Fun-geons and Dragons!”
“I’ll blow her up next time”, Alex promised. “Wanna play princess too.”
I don’t think any fairy tale has ever mentioned princesses doing that, but maybe it’s high time they did.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 31

With the gorgeous outfit Kriss had bankrolled safely returned I felt we were done with the fantasy theme. But since my research had overlapped so much with science fiction and many things were still fresh in my mind I suggested we'd do that right away to get it over with. 'Saucer day' was coming up on the 24th anyway and that would be as good a date as any. Better than most, in fact.
This time writing felt much easier (granted, because I cheated by glossing over a lot) and thinking up an outfit for Kim wasn't hard either - she still had the gear she'd worn at the theater (as 'Lush Gordon') packed away. A four-foot inflatable alien was also among the samples my mates had blown up for inspection, although Kriss had done the honors with that one. Not that it mattered since the afternoon we'd spent deflating them all, but Kim couldn't stop giggling while sitting on its face to force the air out. Come to think of it, I believe we all cracked a smile at that. Anyway, props were not a problem. Especially after Kriss returned from a shopping trip with the other blonde who'd either failed to keep her on a short leash or outright encouraged her.
Yes, if you haven't figured, Kim's got a license too but rarely makes use of it. Though it might add some extra incitement for Kriss to catch up and she was gearing up to take her final test - if only to beat Lex, who was coming up fast behind her. What she brought home that day were three twelve-packs of alien-shaped green balloons with LED lights inside. Actually a pretty modest amount, for her. If nothing else the presenter hadn't stopped her - and really had no reason to. They would fit right into the theme.

Kim took a while getting ready for the shoot and when she appeared it was evident most of it had been spent at the top. I'm sure you've heard of '80's hair', but this went almost beyond even that. While she always sports quite an impressive mane, what she'd done now was a further step up. A lot of spray had probably been involved. Her eyeliner extended a bit to the sides for a hint of cat-eye exotism, while her clothes were tight red lacquer all over - headband with a downwards point in the middle, straps around her upper arms, leggings held together at the sides with golden rings and a top that was barely more than a bra. A loose chain of brass discs around her neck added to the pulpy comic vibe, as did the high black boots with several metallic buckles.
"Ta-daa! Still got it?"
"Oh yeah. And maybe then some. Those pants make you look inflated."
That struck Kim with what was either an idea or a blonde moment, and she ran to retrieve a valve from a discarded beach ball. She handed me the cutaway part and asked me to glue it to the side of her buttock. I could only ask which one.
She pointed at the left. "Here! I'll turn that towards the camera."
Well, it would be hilarious to show a blow-up space babe blowing up the decorations. And some would definitely enjoy the suggestion. I made sure to use a water-soluble adhesive though, in case she wanted to reuse the leggings.
Kim tore open all three balloon bags and poured the contents onto the desk, putting a couple aside for safekeeping. Then she raised a drooping mass of nearly neon-green PVC to her lips and swiftly inflated it into a humanoid shape with an oversized head. She blew in a final, powerful breath and closed the valve at the back of the skull before standing the alien in place against the back wall.
Without pausing she reached for the first of the many balloons heaped on the table. She armed the LED light by pulling out a tab before blowing the green latex full of her air. It grew into a doll shape maybe twenty inches in length before being tied off and placed on the floor. Another followed it, and yet another. Kim kept puffing away, blowing up balloon after balloon into identical invaders, the lights inside them flashing gently but barely noticeable in the fully lit room. After ten or so the collection began to look vaguely intimidating, the effect only increasing with every new addition. The work was professional and sexy at once - I have to admit Kim was hot as hell in her shiny getup. It was tempting to walk up, kneel down and blow into her valve just for fun, but perhaps not with the cam still running and aliens left to inflate.
She handled them admirably, puffing her cheeks out in that cute and alluring way every single time a breath was added. Two of the loons did burst in her face, but she just threw away the rather sad remains and started on the next one. Eventually they had all been transformed from limp latex to taut, vaguely bowling pin-shaped green figures appearing to be just waiting to be knocked down.
Kimber put down the final balloon and wiped her brow. "At least when they ask for my report I can say I blew up their entire army."
Once more I speculated whether first-time viewers would wonder how the props were inflated and if they'd hope or fantasize about Kimber doing it herself. If the membership figures were anything to go by, more than enough. Maybe stating that the entire horde was shown being inflated on camera inside would boost those even more.

With the preparations finished, Kim sat down for the presentation, the script handily placed in front of her. She put on her best smile and began.
"When you hear 'Science Fiction', you might think about aliens and lasers and spaceships, but it's much more than that. It can be any story where physics or technology are important elements, usually meant to tickle the imagination. A total oversimplification would be saying the wonders in fantasy come from magic and the ones in science fiction from tech. They cross over a bit but you get the idea, right? Now, there are loads and loads of thoughts about what should be counted as sci-fi and what the first examples are, so let's make it easy and skip the old stuff. Instead, let's begin when scientific inventions and theories had become commonplace in reality, but not common enough to be taken for granted - say, the eighteen hundreds? There we have two authors who beyond a doubt are best known for science fiction - Jules Verne and H.G. Wells."
She said that Verne put a lot of focus on technology and how it worked while Wells skimped on those bits in favor of storytelling and ideas - two schools of science fiction that have remained ever since.
"The Oz books by Frank Baum have elements of both fantasy and sci-fi, since there are mechanical people and other inventions, but the word 'robot' wasn't used until Karel Čapek" - that pronunciation had taken some practice - "coined it in the play 'Rossum's Universal Robots. It's Czech for 'laborer', since that's what they were made for. Those weren't mechanical but organic and human looking - a type of construct often called an android or a gynoid depending on gender."
Kim consulted her notes. "I'm mentioning that because robots are a staple in the genre, just like artificial intelligence which has been around in fiction for much longer than any real life version. But many things that have since become reality first appeared as seemingly impossible concepts in sci-fi stories."
I was happy she had her cheat sheet on standby, because memorizing it would have been much to ask of anybody.
"Some writers challenge themselves to make the science and physics completely accurate, or at least plausible from what's known at the time - and in turn challenge the readers to find faults with it. This sub-genre is often called 'hard' science fiction. Hugo Gernsback, who founded the first sci-fi magazine - 'Amazing Stories' - in 1926 and gave the genre its name three years later, preferred when the physics held up but would publish anything that sold. He treated writers badly, but was so instrumental in popularizing these stories that the biggest literary award for sci-fi and fantasy works is named for him - the 'Hugo'."
Kimber told the viewers that while magazines was the main go-to for your sci-fi fix in the thirties, comic strips like 'Flash Gordon' and 'Buck Rogers' also began to appear, followed by cinema serials. Also how Mars and Venus were common settings at the time, despite later turning out to be very inhospitable indeed. But a bit of artistic license never hurt anyone.
She went through novelist giants like Asimov, Heinlein and Clarke while noting that Bradbury was a master of the shorter format. And that Philip K. Dick's stories have been made into several well-known movies while the original works have been largely forgotten. Also that the real-world space race made fictional works on the theme popular, as mentioned in a previous episode. I hoped the names she dropped would make it seem we knew more than what we did.
"Cyberpunk is an offshoot inven...maybe not invented, but pioneered by the writer William Gibson. It has a lot in common with film noir, though the setting is usually a near future where technology dominates and sometimes controls everyday life."
She mentioned a couple of his books and the movie 'Blade Runner', adding it was one of those many adaptions of Dick. Philip K, that is.
"But I think what most people picture when they hear 'science fiction' is space opera! It has nothing to do with singing though, the name comes from the stories being as melodramatic as soap operas. Star Wars is probably the best-known example, but pretty much all sci-fi stories putting plot and characters above proper physics may count. It's sometimes called 'soft' science fiction, just to put it in contrast with the hard."
She gave more examples of both, and I admit I'm definitely in the space opera camp. Matter of fact, I don't think I ever read any of the more plausible stuff.
"Hard sci-fi must be getting harder and harder to write, with new and advanced discoveries being made all the time and theories being proven or disproved. Facts are fine but they do hold back the imagination a bit. So science fiction keeps sticking to what it has always done best - discussing ideas and making allegories in a setting not wholly unlike our own. Whether describing utopias or dystopias it's designed to make us think - and hopefully keep us entertained along the way!"
Another sort-of excuse concluded the show:
"It's a huge field, and naming all the authors is like naming all the stars in the sky. If you can help, please do. There were so many picking just a few was almost impossible and the best-known ones might not have had the most interesting ideas. Your recommendations in the comments would be nice, along with a like and subscribe."
We shot two more clips before relaxing with the traditional finish. Putting the valve to use was good for a giggle, but since it came off with the pants a few moments later that's all there was to it. I still got to blow her, of course.

As usual we showed off the finished results to our mates, who were duly impressed.
"That's twice you've mentioned Oz", Alex said, "and I just remembered something! Been so long since I read them but wasn't there balloon people in one?"
I'd only skimmed through one or two and the others none, so I had to look it up. Lex was right - there was a chapter about 'The Loons of Loonville' and the heroes even popped some of them in self-defense. (Don't worry, since it was Oz they could be repaired and reinflated, but still. To save you some time I can say it's in 'The Tin Woodman of Oz'.)
Then came the clean-up video. Wielding a rapier replica like the pulp heroes of yore Kim stabbed every last balloon alien to bits, making short work of the rubber trespassers. Scattered green pieces were all that remained when she was done - and the larger vinyl inflatable, which was carried off for "experimentation". Kim had wanted to pop it too, but that seemed wasteful. Which, come to think of it, sounds rather ridiculous after destroying about thirty balloons like that.
Kriss looked doubtful. "Don't think I've ever seen a little green man go bang in a movie."
"Aliens have a long history of exploding", I said. "Check 'A Trip to the Moon'."
I turned on the later segment of that ancient film for them and Lex doubled over laughing at the sight of the Selenites vanishing in puffs of smoke when struck or thrown to the ground. I suppose she imagined opponents from her judo training meeting the same end.
"And on that note..."
I started up the subscriber video, where we'd cleared the desk and seated one of the spare balloons next to Kim. She'd insisted on me blowing it up just to see how I fared and I think she was disappointed I managed just fine. In front of them were signs (just folded printouts) saying 'KIMBER' above 'Galactic Heroine' and 'PFFFSHHH, Lunarian Ambassador'. Kim pretended to listen half-heartedly to some kind of speech while I crept under the table and carefully let the air out of the ambassador. It made a sound not wholly unlike the name on the card while slowly collapsing onto the flat surface. His neighbor eventually noticed the proceedings with some alarm, but it was too late. The wrinkled balloon was completely empty before she had a chance to react.
"Oh no! Mr. Ambassador?"
Looking left and right for non-existent help she snatched up the balloon and drew a deep breath before hastily blowing it into the hapless dignitary. As she hurried to bring him back to his previous fullness the viewers were treated to the sight of Kim at her widest-eyed and most frantic. Puff after puff contributed to making the alien as fat and swollen as before, and maybe even a little more since it had been pre-inflated. She blew and blew until the balloon actually grew a neck after expanding as much as it ever could, and then it exploded all over the room. The pieces flew off at something approaching light speed, leaving her with just a tiny piece of green material between her fingertips.
Kim had the decency to look surprised and - almost - shocked. She quickly disposed of the evidence.
"Hope this won't lead to any of those interplanetary incidents."
When Lex had finished laughing she turned to her wife. "How do you come up with these things?"
Kim, who had helped thinking it up, shrugged. "Just seemed like something a Galactic Heroine would do."
I could certainly see it happen in a pulp of limited literary merit, but maybe slightly more dramatic and with a different ending. The leading lady using her lung power to save the day would surely go over well with some of the readers - or watchers, depending on medium.
Kriss was more interested in how alien instruments could look, but that's a discussion for another time. What we indulged in was decidedly more down-to-earth.

Our literary summaries hadn't pissed fans off too much, but we did get corrected a lot - with comments approaching essays on both fantasy and science fiction. Saved me work for sure, and some points were genuinely interesting. That Kim would be called 'mother of dragons' was hardly unexpected even if she doesn't watch 'GoT' herself ("too rapey for my tastes") - and neither were the remarks about probing. Ha ha.
Though we were told about something absolutely worth checking out and that was the alien from 'Dark Star', which was laughably bad - on par with our special effects. It's so obviously made from a painted beachball I could see why someone would recommend it to us. Just keep it in mind for future reference.
Oh, and have I mentioned we receive fan art? There'd been a couple of rather cute and flattering pics of Kimber at her desk, but the job as official illustrator was technically filled. Though speaking of filled, the result of showing Kim with a built-in valve was a drawing of her blown up beyond any sense and reason. I suppose it made someone happy, because it wasn't bad. And one commenter had written how much he'd like to see her inflated to that approximate size. Well, why not? I'll never dunk on body inflation as an interest - it's the popping that feels iffy.
Kim was leaning against my shoulder as she studied the artwork. "If that could be done, would you do it?"
"Depends on how durable you'd be."
She shrugged. "Completely pop-proof."
"All right, Kimmy, if I was a hundred percent sure you wouldn't burst I'd blow you up so much I could bounce on you. And a little more while actually bouncing."
"Sounds nice... Lexi says she wouldn't", she almost pouted.
"You know how she is about trust. Let's go ask her again."
We found her lounging with a book about exotic foods and the repeated question - with my assurance of her not breaking - got an answer this time, along with a tight embrace.
"As much as you fucking wanted, Blondie. You wouldn't even fit in the room when I was done."
Kim purred. "More of me to love?"
"Will never be too much of that. You're my One True Mate."
I smiled at the concept Ree had introduced us to and wondered if it still was relevant when having three. Maybe, since we all had some small preference. I wouldn't even have to ask mine, though. I was pretty damn sure I knew what she'd say already.

With so many special episodes done so closely together it felt nice to make a couple of regular ones in the hot tub. Though they felt a bit like fillers, and I don't mean what Kimber did with her inflatables. It was a bit of dilemma - if we made too many themed ones they'd become the new standard and that kind of expectations would be no fun at all. And yet I felt the stuff we'd aimed for at the start was lacking something. I decided that ending each one with a 'Today's Trivia' segment would be enough for the moment, but as for the future...
Ah well, I'm happy to leave such thoughts to sci-fi writers.

[ChillinHaze]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Lots of great authors and stories mentioned in this one ^^
And very funny ideas with the balloons!
I just have to ask though that Dark Star movie, is it real or just a fiction for story's sake? xD

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Oh, Dark Star is real for sure! Also John Carpenter's first movie - if you thought his later works were low budget, check this snippet out...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEepPy2mfeY

Glad you liked the balloon usage, the main point of this story - yes, I know it may be hard to believe - is after all to find funny or interesting ways to include blow-ups in a webshow! Might take this opportunity to mention (for those of you who wonder how long I intend to ramble on) I'm going for a full year, to make use of all seasons. And a bit more, since I have another Christmas episode in mind... :P

[Infl8]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

I liked the use of the alien shaped balloons. Those were really neat. I was wondering, will any other shaped balloons make it in future episodes?

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

I'd be very much surprised if there weren't any more shapes. But for now,

Episode 32

The July birthday wishes were naturally also summer themed, with Kim choosing a short-sleeved blouse tied together in front of her belly and an open sarong skirt. The balloons of course had to be of the previous kind to avoid any sense of unfairness and she inflated a yellow one which perhaps didn't show the white letters to best effect but close enough for rock 'n roll. That sound was coincidentally what Kriss went for in her 'Happy birthday' arrangement, picking up a saxophone herself for the occasion. A soprano though, with Alex accompanying on the baritone. Along with Kim's tenor it was indeed a saxy celebration overall. Goes without saying the professional pair blew up balloons for their show as well - orange and pink this time - and wore outfits similar to Kim's. Seemed it was a much-appreciated feature, so we'd keep doing it. I only hoped Kriss could come up with twelve different takes on the song.

Like I've told you before, Dodo had been fixed and reinflated well in time for our neighborhood Independence Day barbecue - but since that story focused on the giant dino you don't know what kind of episode went 'On the Air' that date.
As you probably figure it was about the history of July 4th, but the surprising part was Kim not dressing up as Uncle Sam (or rather, Aunt Sammie) because she felt that had been done to death and the costume wouldn't look good enough. I agreed, believe it or not. Instead, she opted for a white tee with the American flag printed on it and a star-spangled headband.
The studio pretty much had to feature red, white and blue balloons though and once more we all ganged up to make columns. This time we spiraled the colors, which was kind of tricky to get neat. More than once we found the wrong colors had been wrapped together and had to be disassembled, and doing that caused quite a few pops and new balloons having to be blown up. Eventually we had a passable pair of pillars and Kim brought in a mylar Uncle Sam, which made me suspect had been the reason for her opting out of the part. However, pretty much everything went wrong with that. First off there was the matter of where the opening was located. If you're guessing 'between its legs', congratulations. The best case scenario was Kim appearing to stick the tube up his ass.
The actual inflation wasn't too bad, but her penchant for overfilling loons proved a foil this time as the balloon popped from an extra-hard finishing breath. It was probably the least patriotic scene I'd ever seen. I nixed getting a replacement, mostly on account of the aforementioned placement. And the loon looked kinda tacky anyway.
Then Kim claimed the only acceptable alternative was filling the floor to desk height with the same kind of balloons as in the columns, only blown to full size. So to humor her we helped inflating those, the half-filled necks making them seem an entirely different brand from the round ones arranged on the poles. Ever tried moving around with loons up to your knees? It's not hard, but kinda disheartening when each pop means a figurative step backwards.
Watching the video of me, Kriss and Lex puffing away was interesting, since the lack of real enthusiasm had a very slight touch of domination about it. Like three women made to blow up balloons against their will by a considerably more invested mistress. Not that we weren't happy about it, quite the opposite, but at this point it was merely a job that needed to be done. I made a note of having Kim blow up her props in the same manner at some point, just to showcase how much work she puts in.
At any rate, the show had her talking about Independence Day and its history - I'm sure you're all familiar with that. For overseas readers I may mention it was on that date in 1776 the United States declared themselves independent from the British. Actually, the vote passed on July 2, but the signed document is dated two days later so that's what we go by. John Adams, our second president, always considered the voting date the real one.
These and many other trivial facts were mentioned by Kim, including that three presidents died on July 4. Said Adams and Thomas Jefferson both passed away fifty years to the day of the signing, and James Monroe followed five years later. Only one prez was born on that day, though - Calvin Coolidge.
Kim also said that the first fireworks display honoring the day was in Philadelphia on the first anniversary (coincidentally the first official celebration) and it has been a tradition ever since, not just in that city. Which anyone who's spent that day in the States can probably attest. Macy's hosts the biggest one each year - seems they like to go large, not only with balloons.
But apart from the trivia, it was grade school stuff and it felt like a holiday writing it. Putting the loons up was more of a chore, for once. Even the subscriber vid was a given, a saxophone rendition of 'The Star-Spangled Banner'. Seemed almost too obvious, but hey, it's traditional.

The upside of the plentiful decorations was that they could be reused for the barbecue, and as we'd never filmed Kim going on an outdoors popping spree before it could make for a nice change.
I hadn't counted on how much of a change, though. When the last of the guests had left and the inevitable cleanup began, Kimmy dropped the bomb.
"Wouldn't it be cool if I did some fire breathing? Like a real dragon."
I didn't drop what I was holding, but kinda froze in place. Lexi put down the pile of plates she'd just picked up with a small rattle.
"Blondie, you know that shit's dangerous?"
"I'd be careful! I remember hanging with a bunch of friends and some of the guys fooled around with that to impress and they still didn't get hurt. Or burn anything down."
I knew it had been a mistake to get those garden tiki torches for a cozy evening. While we hadn't planned on using them that day they were stacked against the wall awaiting some as-of-yet undecided sundown. No doubt she'd gotten the idea from eyeing them, and also meant she had one of the crucial components at hand. Then I remembered they ran on the lamp oil placed next to them so we were probably pretty much screwed.
Kriss didn't mind, though. "That'd be awesome! What do you need?"
Kim shrugged and indicated our intended night lights. "Just that."
"And fire", I said. "Is there any alternative to the oil?"
"Lighter fluid?"
Lex exploded. "Hell no!"
Then she softened and caressed Kim's cheek. "I know it was a joke. I'm just so scared you'll get hurt, baby."
Their foreheads touched. "I promise to be real careful..."
"I think I've heard about using cornstarch", Lexi said. "Won't that do?"
"I could try."
Well, it didn't sound great either but fine. While our resident kitchen expert fetched the ammo I went to relieve Squirty of the hose and attached a more appropriate nozzle. Meanwhile Kriss had inspected the bottle and was filling up a torch.
"Says 'liquid paraffin' - that's practically harmless!"
I shook my head. "Not if it gets in your lungs. And probably no good swallowing either."
Kim tied her hair back in a high ponytail and tried hefting the unlit torch.
"Didn't look hard - they said it's just holding the flame in front and spit the stuff through it."
"Spray", I said. "You have to spread it out or it won't flare up."
"Figured. Just their words!"
Alex measured out a big tablespoon of cornstarch and Kriss applied a lighter to the wick. It took a while for it to start burning for real and the flame looked kinda puny. We agreed it would never work and Kriss blew it out. Took me a moment or two to register it shouldn't really be possible, but I've long since stopped being surprised at what she can do. Sacrificing a fresh torch she tied an oil-soaked rag around the empty canister and that burned pretty impressively.
I turned on the tap in case my services would be needed in a hurry and Kim asked if we all were ready before gulping up the powder. She leaned backwards, raised the fiery stick and expelled the contents of her mouth straight at it. A violent puff of flames shot out of the main conflagration and then Kim began to cough and paw at her lips.
"Water", she called out.
Now, she did ask for it and knew I was kinda high-strung at the moment, so I can't really be blamed for hitting her square in the face. That she didn't drop the torch was probably down to sheer luck. When the sputtering ceased she wasn't so much angry as bedraggled.
"It's the starch! So lumpy! Yeuch!"
Kim managed to remove most of the offending substance and by then Kriss had taken custody of the improvised beacon.
"Let me try! I'm gonna use the oil."
"Kriss..." I warned her.
"Relax, Chel, it'll be fine! I already took a swig. Spat, of course, but it's not disgusting or anything. Besides, I'm insured."
I doubted it would cover that, but you try talking her out of things. Before I knew it she had another chug from the bottle and then the entire yard was lit up. Or so it seemed. It was a magnificent spout of fire and Kim almost dove for the flask.
"I wanna do that!"
Kriss gracefully handed over the implements and this time the younger blonde managed to blow out a much neater incendiary cloud. It wasn't as impressive as the one immediately before, but that was only to be expected.
"Cool!" Kriss said. "You try it, Chel!"
I was about to say no but then curiosity took over. I would probably be badgered into it sooner or later and part of me kinda wanted to have a go. Lex, however, shook her head.
"Not gonna risk my sense of taste. Someone has to make sure the food's all right."
It wasn't like she cooked every meal, but I could understand her. If I loved doing it as much as she does I'd hesitate too.
I hesitated anyway as I brought the container to my lips. The oil had more texture than taste but I still didn't want to keep it in my mouth longer than needed. I forced it out as hard as I could and the sudden heat when it caught fire in front of me was more intense than I'd thought. Felt pretty awesome, though.
Kim clapped her hands. "Should be able to pop the loons with that, right?"
"Give it a shot" Kriss said and took down one of the balloons we'd strung up separately over the porch. She attached the inflated blue egg-shape to the top of the first torch and held it up at arm’s length.
"Ready when you are."
The wannabe fire breather refueled, aimed and let loose. A flash of fire instantly burst the balloon and relit the drenched wick in the process. It was actually kind of amazing.
"Get the camera!" she laughed. "I'm gonna practice and it's gonna be great!"
She had the basics down when I got back but I told her she'd better wait for sundown to get the best effect. In the meantime we moved the balloon columns to a safe distance from the house and put them on the serving tables we'd used earlier. She could kneel if she wanted to hit the lowest ones, because angling the flames downwards would be a good way to make sure your eyebrows wouldn't need plucking for some time. A string of the bigger balloons was suspended between the poles, providing plentiful targets for pyromania.
Kim also took the opportunity to restore the makeup I'd ruined and put on the same clothes she'd worn in the show, this time using the headband to hold her hair back. She calibrated the camera with Kriss' help, since the lighting would be shifting quite a bit. My wife had a blast shooting fire from her mouth and bemoaned I wouldn't let her upload any of that.
"You're supposed to a be a role model and this, if you haven't noticed, is hardly responsible."
Our precautions were limited to the hose and two buckets of water within easy reach, either for dousing or throwing at accidents.
"Still fun, though. Wonder how a beachball would hold up?"
"We're not finding out tonight."
The light finally turned just right and Kim rolled her shoulders, exhaling heavily in anticipation. Then I gave her the thumbs-up to begin and since we'd only get one shot I could understand if her nerves were acting up. Hopefully it wouldn't impair her judgment.
"Happy July 4th! Night is falling and the time for fireworks is coming up. Unfortunately I don't have any of those, but regular fire works, right?"
She reached out and brought the torch into frame, passing it to her other hand as she picked up the bottle as well.
"Now, what I'm about to do isn't something I'd like you to try at home, unless you really know what you're doing. This is lamp oil - liquid paraffin - and nothing else. Not lighter fluid, kerosene or gasoline. All those are big, big no-no's! And I have to be careful so I won't inhale or swallow by mistake."
The old 'good girls don't spit' joke passed through my head and I bit my lip.
"So anyway, check this out - but don't do it. Don't want anyone to get hurt because of my ideas."
She sipped from the bottle and spat out a small spray over the torch. The burst of flame looked pretty cool in the fading light.
"Seems it works! Gonna try something else, because what's fireworks without some noise?"
With that she took a bigger chug, turned towards the nearest column as I followed her profile with the handheld, and blew out the oil as hard as she ever could.
The effect was remarkable. As the spout of fire passed there wasn't just one or two or even a handful of pops, but almost the entire collection over a certain height vanished with a sound that was more like a loud tearing than balloons popping, something like…
FFRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPAPAPAPAPP!
Even Kim seemed surprised at the efficiency. "Whoa!" she exclaimed. "Let's try that again!"
She bent her knees as she aimed at the lower loons and once more burst an impressive amount with her fiery breath. Now she'd really gotten into things and made a sideways sweep over the improvised garland. It wasn't that she was particularly talented - because she frankly wasn't - but a blowtorch that size would destroy pretty much any balloon within a pretty big radius. And sure enough, the entire line perished at that front. With one pillar remaining I decided to gift Kim the most imposing angle of all and crouched down to capture its demise slightly from below. I could tell from the inhale preceding the oil she wanted it to look good.
And it did, at least from where I was. Not a single balloon above her neck was spared as she tilted her head back to shoot the last of the spray towards the topmost one. After that, finishing the bottom part seemed almost like an afterthought, especially since a couple survived and had to be put down with a smaller puff.
"There! That's all, folks - enjoy the rest of the holiday!"
As I turned off the recording I saw Kriss was fairly shaking with contained enthusiasm, making small, whining noises and nearly pushing Lex aside when she'd finished congratulating her mate. Kriss basically showered Kim with smooches, kisses and licks while saying how awesome she was and calling her every endearment under the sun. Eventually she turned to me.
"Wanna!"
"Can't really say no after letting her, can I?"
"Nope! And I want to use sixteens!"
"So you won't miss?" She pouted, so I justified it. "If you blow twelves to the max you can fit more."
Krissie, the darling idiot, saw reason and set off for more balloons. As for me I'd better do a rough cut to get the video up on the right day.
Lex went to assemble our evening meal, made in advance, leaving Kim to survey the soot she'd left in her wake. But no use thinking of that now - we hadn't planned on clearing up until the morrow anyway. She followed me to the edit room, eager to see how it had turned out.
Apart from the picture going briefly out of focus at the height of the flares, it looked pretty neat, if you could live with slight camera shakes. And the sound was much like I remembered, only slightly muffled. Wasn't like we had mics in place. I put an extra disclaimer at the start to cover our legal asses and sent the whole thing online - at the presenter's request on the regular channel, since it was a special occasion and everything. They weren't precisely spoiled with popping and this would certainly make up a bit for that. Also, I'm pretty sure it was a matter of showing off, so I repeated the final blast in slow-motion at the very end. Kim couldn't wait to see what people would think, but would have to.
When we returned Kriss had already blown up nearly twenty balloons, swaying gently from the thin metallic wire. I'd had the foresight to insist on swapping to that when we moved the balloons or it would have been a much less interesting show. Or more, depending on whether you like slapstick. She finished the row and demanded to be filmed for posterity. I complied, visions of 'The Night Crystal Mackenzie Caught Fire' floating through my head.
I needn’t worry, because if there is one thing Kriss knows it's how to blow. The flammable mist leaving her lips cut through the ever-deepening darkness like something out of a jet exhaust, reducing the balloons to nothing but singed tatters and echoes of the explosion. Because there was technically just one, a drawn-out staccato pop that ended as suddenly as it had begun. Kriss was overjoyed but I thought it a lot of work for such a brief moment of delight. Then I remembered being wined and dined by a one-night-stand who came after about five seconds inside me. Flattering but frustrating - luckily his hands and mouth were still in working order.
Kim put her palms on Lexi's chest. "Can't you give it a go too? Just a little one?"
If you wonder what it takes to sway Lex - not much. She's such a pushover even trying feels like cheating, so I don't do it often out of respect. And Kim asking is as good as telling, which might help explain why she doesn’t wanna overdo it. At any rate, Alex smiled and reached for the bag of balloons. She must have surmised she too was expected to supply her own targets, but in the interest of saving time and giving her a hand we all puffed away until a decent number had been prepared for destruction. Then Lex temporarily sacrificed her tasted buds and blew half of the balloons away in a massive burst of fire before repeating the trick for the rest. She looked so wild and feral doing it I was tempted to post at least a still, but then Kriss would demand the same and not only harm her image but steal Kim's thunder in the process.
I declined following their example, saving up for another day. It had been fun to watch, but the last thing the furniture needed was another scorching. Besides, I was kinda worried about the neighbors calling in the fire brigade.
"All right, girls", I said. "I think it's high time for a bath."
I knew what Lexi intended for us to eat and since it was various hors d'oeuvre-sized tidbits and diced fruits we could have it in the indoors tub, which felt wonderfully decadent. As did the rest of the evening, and even if I missed any public displays I certainly saw fireworks that night.

A couple of regular shows followed, and in the middle of summer there was no shortage of events to cover. A local but semi-large festival had even been thoughtful enough to send Kim a press kit, which included a few balloons printed with the logo, location and dates. For once she had the perfect excuse to blow something up at the desk in the middle of her otherwise unremarkable presentation and did so as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Have to deduct points for quality, though - the first balloon popped before she was quite done and ruined the whole take. But she redid everything from the start like a trooper and inflated the replacement without any hard feelings - on the surface. After wrapping up she blew the entire stash (granted, only four in total) to burst as a way of venting - she might have called it testing if the first was a fluke, but the true reasoning was plain as day on her face.
Then the fourteenth approached and since we'd done a couple of country-themed shows by now it wasn't a far stretch to talk about Bastille Day, the French national holiday. Kriss had to be called in as a pronunciation coach, of course, and from what I hear had a job and a half. I decided to strike as many foreign words as possible from the script and instead focus on things people may believe are French but aren't - no use in blaming them needlessly.
Making a backdrop gave us the perfect use for a very generous gift from a balloon collector, who'd found it missing in our earlier lesson but wasn't surprised since the type had been discontinued. As he had spares that'd probably never be opened anyway he was willing to gift us a factory-sealed pack of twelve, just to show other viewers what had once been around. But round they were not. They were of the kind called 'jelly beans' - shorter, fatter airships that had a certain something in common with the giant GL's we'd occasionally played with. I'd only ever seen them in pictures but the shape was instantly recognizable once Kriss had blown up a yellow one to a safe size. The weird thing was that its sides appeared to be almost straight like on banner balloons - I had expected it to bulge out more. Of course, it did that quite a bit when my wife resumed the inflation, but for a brief while it had been an oddity in my personal experience. And for a slightly longer while it had been a balloon, but was reduced to assorted latex scraps after reaching the breaking point. There'd never been any doubts about Kriss blowing it to pop, if only to test the size. It reached maybe three feet in length and about half that in thickness. No idea if that was the intended dimensions since no specs had been included. Maybe it was a knockoff brand or maybe our patron might just have forgotten to mention the manufacturer - or wanted the results to be a surprise and delight. Which they turned out to be, if your expectations weren't too high.
Anyway, Kriss wasn't allowed to handle the rarities for the actual setup - Kim did that along with Lex, who'd be co-hosting. It took three of those loons to approximate the French flag, but they did have about the right dimensions. Alex got to blow up the red and white ones, since she'd been featured less on the show. In return Kim took care of the blue one and the inflatable Eiffel tower - a souvenir of the Vegas replica. In other words a copy of a copy, but at that detail level it hardly mattered. I had to wonder who in the world would buy such a thing, and then realized I had. Or Kriss, really, but same difference. The real question would be if a production run was strictly motivated. It was a pretty poor pool toy.
I might add they did the decor in costume, with Kim in a French maid outfit somewhat less provocative than the one she'd worn on stage at one point. It was in fact rather classy, at least in comparison, and her hair rolled into a French twist went pretty nicely with the clothes. Lexi, for her part, wore black slacks and a striped shirt with three-quarter sleeves. The colored lines might have been a very deep navy but for all intents and purposes they appeared black. The base was beyond a doubt white, though. A red beret over a straight wig added a splash of color and she'd decided against a matching neckerchief after trying it on. The top's low opening was more effective without. In short, traditional but hopefully inoffensive stereotypes.

"Bonjour", Kim began, getting it almost quite right. "Today is Bastille Day - a very important date in France. Their National Day, in fact. It was when the Bastille - a big Parisian prison - was stormed in 1789, kicking off their revolution for real."
Alex nodded. "Interesting our revolution happened so close to it."
"I think they shared ideas - Ben Franklin spent a lot of time in France."
"But theirs was a bit harsher, right?"
"You could say that. Beheading the entire ruling class and anyone suspected to support them is a bit harsh."
"Then again, we didn't exactly have a ruling class. Not on this side of the Atlantic."
"There's that", Kim agreed and went through a few key points of later French history, including how many of the revolutionary ideals died with the leaders once the people turned on them. What goes around, comes around. Though making up an entirely new calendar was probably never going to last anyway.
"But enough about history. What do you think about when you hear 'France'?" Kim asked.
"Food and wine. You?"
"Romance."
Alex wondered if France really is romantic and Kim replied dunno, never been. Then she asked the viewers to tell her but please don't ruin her illusions too much. She kind of enjoyed the image.
"Oh!" she added. "And that they eat a lot of cheese."
Lexi laughed. "It's true - they make some nice cheeses so there must be quite a lot of eating them too. But the idea got stuck in World War I when their allies from England and America saw what the French soldiers had for food - a camembert cheese a day."
Kim looked incredulous. "Nothing but cheese?"
"Must have been other things too, I'm not sure. But at least sometimes their daily ration was one of those - you know, the round flat ones with the white crust."
"Bad time to be lactose intolerant."
"Bad times overall", Lex noted. "Though the French are great cheesemakers - my favorite is Roquefort."
"Like the mouse in 'Aristocats'?"
"Yeah - seems mice know their cheeses."
"What about the other things they're said to eat - snails and frogs' legs?"
"They eat 'em, but so do people in many other countries. Guess it's something non-frog eating nations found easy to ridicule. By the way, you know they have to import frogs these days? They're protected in France."
Kim didn't, and they bantered a bit about preconceptions and how Americans are usually depicted as weighing four hundred pounds with a hamburger in one hand and a gun in the other. About as valid a picture as any other national caricature. Kim conceded most of the 'facts' about frenchmen (and women) are probably untrue or at least wildly exaggerated.
"But the worst stereotype about the French is saying they're cowards. Letting the nazi's take over without much of a fight probably saved a lot of lives - and the French resistance had some of the fiercest and bravest freedom fighters during the rest of the war."
"Yeah", Lex said, "and judging by earlier conflicts 'surrender' wasn't in their vocabulary. Even if the word itself comes from Old French."
"Maybe it was what they made their enemies do."
Lexi shrugged. "Anyway, there's a lot of things said to be French but aren't. Like French toast!"
She produced a neatly plated sandwich like the ones we'd had for lunch, just to add a visual.
"They call it 'pain perdu', lost bread, because it's something you make when it goes stale. It's kind of a universal recipe."
Then it was Kim's turn to give an example. "And the French horn - which I had to learn as a kid - is simply a 'cor' in France. A horn. The name is from back when different countries used very similar horns and they needed a way to tell them apart. The modern version is technically a german horn, but to be fair, the french type is still sometimes used in France."
"Like French dressing", Lex said. "It used to be a general name for any kind of dressing used in France, but what we call French dressing today is a pretty recent American recipe. And most say 'French fries' is actually a Belgian invention. But French press is a very popular way of making coffee in France, even if the patent is Italian."
Kim took over. "The French were once seen as being very fashionable and French braids and this" - she touched her 'do coquettishly - "the French twist, get their names from that even if the styles are much older. That kind of braids are actually called 'tresse francaise' there too, so I'd chalk those names up as justified. And French maids actually did dress sort of like this, but maybe a tad more strict."
"Just a tad?", Alex coughed.
"All right, they were probably pretty dignified. But their uniforms were black and white in the 1800's and maybe later too. A 'French manicure' is a Hollywood invention, though."
"You said romance - anything to do with you once saying condoms used to be called 'French letters'?"
Here some might have hoped for more condom blowing, but that wasn't to be.
"Not really. And back then it was popular to blame embarrassing things on foreigners - that's why syphilis was called the 'French pox' by most of Europe except France, who called it the 'Neapolitan disease' and Poland, who said it was Turkish. And so on all over the world - any origin except your own. Though 'French letters' might have had a touch of truth - they were popular there."
"And everywhere else I should think", Lex grinned. "But what about French kissing?"
"Now you're talking. They surely didn't invent it, but travelers and soldiers spending time there a hundred years ago were so impressed with their kisses they brought the practice home and naturally named it after where they learned."
"So what is a French kiss?"
Kim gave her a knowing look. "It's a mouth kiss where one or both participants use their tongue as well as the lips for a little something extra."
"Should we show them?"
"Mais oui." They held out their left hands for the viewers. "It's okay - we're married."
That reminder might put a dampener on the stream of love letters for Kim - there'd been a few with various degrees of infatuation. But the demonstration would do nothing to quench desires. The presenters wrapped said hands around each other's necks and joined in a kiss that was a joy to behold, both clearly enjoying it immensely and using just enough tongue to get the point across. It was sweet and chaste and hot all at once, and while it didn't last long I still felt a pounding in my chest. It's not just sex I like to watch.
"There!" Kim smiled after parting. "That's something I recommend trying at home."
"Me too", Lex said. "Whatever else is said about the French, true or not, I wanna thank them for making that a global thing."
"Yep! Great stuff. I hope you French people haven't been offended by what we've said - only wanted to set the record straight! As for writers, poets, musicians and filmmakers there are so many they might need a separate program. But today we celebrate the French in general - vive la France, and au revoir!"

They finished up and moved to the darker backdrop for a duet of 'La Marseillaise', with Kim playing the French horn in honor of the day. Then Kriss, who had been spectating, asked for a demonstration of the kissing technique and got one from the blonde right away.
I might not have properly conveyed how much kissing we do around the house, because it's a lot. Basically every meeting involves at least a fond smooch on either the lips or the cheek. Often a bit more. And it's something you really can't practice too much - it just seems to get better and better.
Watching those two go at it had me breathing heavily until Lex came over to offer a very private and very pleasant lesson. We kissed until I was starting to get dizzy and then swapped around several times, teasing and tasting until the world truly was spinning. I broke off from Kriss to whisper an idea I hadn't been able to get out of my mind.
"I need you to borrow that uniform...and tickle me all over with a feather duster. Maybe lean in to blow some specks off my ear..."
Her happy grin was almost lecherous. "Ooh la laa... Certainement, chérie. Ce soir?"
I could only nod before we went back to kissing. Though before things got out of hand, Lex said she hated to interrupt but me and Kim better finish up what needed doing.
"We'll be in the bedroom", she finished with a wink and left with my wife. I helped Kim get her hair in order and led her back to the previous backdrop.

You see, we had something different to shoot, while in a way fulfilling a repeated request - though maybe not in the way the senders had hoped for. As I adjusted the tripod for a standing subject Kim pulled a cigarette from a packet and lit it, evidently not used to the process. She puffed on it a couple of times for the camera, but like a certain president didn't really inhale.
"Another stereotype about the French is that they smoke a lot. I don't know if it's true but I do know it's bad for your health."
She touched the glowing tip to the closest background balloon, which vanished with a bang.
"See? Smoking can do irreversible damage."
Another pop underscored her point. "Now, this is just an herbal cigarette, the kind they use in the movies, but they're not completely harmless either."
The third balloon was burst in the same manner and Kim took another drag, exhaling a cloud of smoke.
"Smoking may cause cancer, heart and lung diseases, diabetes and a whole lot of other nasty things, including low air pressure."
She very deliberately pressed the cig against the fake Eiffel tower, burning a hole in the plastic causing it to start sagging at once. She'd blown in as much extra air as it could hold to make sure it would.
"Or was that high blood pressure? Anyway, it's not a good thing."
The inflatable kept going more limp by the moment, neatly visualizing erectile dysfunction which is another side effect. Kim pulled a transparent 10-incher from an apron pocket.
"Allow me to demonstrate. Let's pretend this is a lung!"
She inhaled a copious amount of smoke and blew it all into the balloon, the violent swirls clearly visible through the milky latex. She held it up for personal inspection before doing the same thing again, filling the rapidly growing rubber with vapors. A third smoky breath brought it to full size but that didn't stop Kim who closed her eyes, tilted her head slightly back and drew a final deep puff. Then she expelled it into the already strained loon and made it explode in a cascade of shards and smoke dissipating in front of her.
"Smoke is super bad for them", she said and stubbed out the butt. "So try not to do it, ok?"
The segment ended and Kim rose, making a face. "Wanna brush my teeth."
Before she left for that she had time to hear my remark. "To think I used to do that as a teen. Thought it was cool or something."
"Bet you'd look super cool doing it. Wearing a suit and a devil-may-care expression..."
"Hypocrite", I smiled.
"A girl can dream."
Since they were herbals and not exactly sold separately I told her we could probably arrange a light-up session after dinner at some point. Would be my only chance to ever see Kriss do that and it might be a nice visual to remember.
"You coming?" Kim asked. "I want my reward..."
An excellent idea. I was sure it could involve even more kissing as well.
Kriss and Lex were snuggling in our bedroom, fingers at each other's faces tracing complacent smiles. They were still dressed so evidently they'd been waiting for us to catch up, but once we joined them the mutual stripping began pretty much at once. Then I discovered they'd brought the leftover jellybeans along.
Kriss, who can find a contest in everything, managed to somehow not ruin the mood.
"Let's see who can blow one of these up and get off with it first."
We all accepted her handouts and began inflating them as fast as we could. The anticipation was palpable and seeing the others tying their full balloons off made me hurry to add the final breaths that'd make my plaything firm enough for some real action. I noticed sitting with legs apart and pressing the loon against privates and nipples while grinding back and forth seemed to be the done thing and joined in, the white latex squeaking and creaking as the warmth from my nethers began to spread in all directions. I looked at Kriss, her face contorted with pleasure behind her bright green balloon, and knew she was going to give me a run for my money. Kim and Lex were rocking away, holding and fondling their red and orange blowups while moaning and groaning to the heavens. The absolute thrill of playing with a probably expired loon that could explode at any moment had me shuddering, and the taut rubber was both incredible huggable and an inflated menace at once. Shrill yelps of pleasure occasionally cut through the air and I heard the protests of Kim's balloon as she straddled it and began to thrust from above. The sights and sounds were overwhelming and I fixed my gaze on Kriss who had thrown herself on her back and was masturbating furiously with the jellybean like the thickest dildo in the world, and that was just too much for me.
Though I'd been a bit behind on the blowing I won the overall contest. After all, I like watching.

Believe it or not but we eventually got back to everyday stuff. Kriss filmed herself playing the French national anthem for her viewers, along with a greeting in their native tongue. I've no idea if there is such a thing as a Louisiana accent, but in that case I guess she has it. Though it did sound pretty all right to me. Better than Kim's efforts, at any rate.
Much later that evening my wife appeared in the bedroom, wearing the clothing I'd requested, her hair in an even prettier twist than Kim had managed and makeup that could be described as sultry or slutty, take your pick. If you think my other mates are sexy when dressing up for fun and games, you should see Kriss. She sashayed like playing the part in some risqué stage farce, speaking in French while daintily applying her duster to every piece of furniture she passed before leaning forward to blow the final motes off and giving me some very x-rated upskirt views. Then she did the same with me, lifting my top to make sure my breasts were absolutely spotless. She even gave them a thorough suck.
"That's some dedication to work", I moaned.
Kriss replied something I didn't quite get but the gist was evidently her being happy to be of service. Then she discovered the few leftover jellybeans and picked out the last orange one to inflate. She stuck her left arm out stiffly with the hand bent back as she blew in breath after breath, bobbing up and down by bending her knees on each exhale. Somehow she was acting the comic relief and femme fatale at the same time – with striking results. The balloon filled up almost to the limit and she tied it off, placed it on the bed and motioned for me to take a ride. Having one's sex toys prepared by the hired help was a debauchery beyond belief and I eagerly climbed on while Kriss stood by whispering things in my ear as I humped the loon along the way to completion. I wish I'd understood the language better because they were clearly filthy.
The blown-up rubber bulged dangerously with every bounce and Kriss made a pantomime of it popping and her puffing into an imaginary replacement, making me see her previous line had meant ‘I’ll blow you another one if it bursts’. I had her repeat it and that made the task unnecessary. The feeling of being waited on to that degree sent me exploding all over the balloon, which in turn exploded under my full weight collapsing onto it.
With me and the ballon both thoroughly done I lay down next to Kriss and sighed one of the few things I know the meaning of.
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"
"J’ai envie de toi", Kriss whispered. "Every night."

[ChillinHaze]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

French and I got a love hate relationship. ^^'
I like the language and always wanted to do something similar to what happened here with my girlfriend.
Unfortunately, I hated learning the language in school as my second foreign language and thus were always really bad at it.
Today I'd like to slap my younger self for not trying harder! >.<

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 33

You know how some things may seem inconsequential but turn out not to be? Seems putting up the firebreathing video for general viewing turned out to be one of those. I have no idea if they have people constantly scanning the web for interesting stuff or if we'd been on their radar for some time, but that clip was the direct cause of ‘What’s Up, Vegas’ contacting us. It's a fairly major podcast, and they wanted to speak to Kim about her work. Since none of their previous instalments seemed sensationalist or disrespectful I encouraged her to do it - after a brief correspondence asking what they intended to cover.
"I can come along as your manager. Or handler, if you prefer."
"What if they call me out on the blowing stuff?"
"It's not that kind of show. Besides, just stick to 'air' being your schtick."
So we were booked to make an appearance a scant ten days after the fourth, which is what made me suspect they'd just been waiting for an excuse to get in touch. Sure, they had a reputation for being current, but from what I've understood most of such operations record well in advance. Maybe they have a stockpile of less up-to-date stuff to mix with whatever they can fit in. For our part we were running out of those, but it wouldn't be too hard catching up.
Anyways, Kimber went on the air with the hosts of WUV, who were mostly interested in the mix of entertainment news and trivia. They thought it a good way to keep things fresh, and naturally commented on the 'air' puns for subscribers. Kim said it was a good way to justify the title and they asked what was in the members area. She said it showed her putting up the decorations, musical numbers and other behind-the-scenes things, including bloopers. They could relate to the latter and said they'd toyed with the idea of compiling some of their own, but as their show was less visual - after all, it was made for listeners - it would take some epic slip-ups to make that cut. They found the birthday wishes a sweet touch and Jaycee, the male host, said he was born on the same day as Tom Hanks. Kim, who'd mentioned the actor in her July list, offered belated congratulations which impressed the hell out of both JC and Jill.
Then they had a talk about her relation to 'Sweet Cheeks' Riley which naturally segued into them co-habiting with Crystal Mackenzie. An unusual arrangement, but not strange. Overall I found it a pleasant chat to listen to and they would have to do some heavy editing to make Kim look bad - which probably wasn't their plan anyway. But since they spoke about this and that it would naturally be cut down a bit.

That interlude might seem a bit off-topic, but it's kinda relevant. No idea if it's connected, but the morning after the interview Kim found she'd caught one of those annoying summer colds. It wasn't a bad one, but it sorta threw her off her game and the timing was pretty shitty as we basically had to film a new episode that very day. Or the day after at the latest, but the prognosis wasn't good. And Lex didn't want to fill in.
"I was just on and it doesn't feel right. But if there's no alternative, sure..."
The pleading but meaningful looks she and Kriss shot me showed damned well they considered me that alternative. I wasn't overly keen on the idea, but at least I knew the format well enough and had done my share of presenting over the years. And it gave me an idea for a script I could throw together in a few hours.
"Okay, I guess it's up to me. But not, repeat not in the tub."
Kim gave a weak grin. "I'd kiss you but you know how it is."
"I'll do it for you", Lexi offered and did - at some length. "Think of it as an advance on your reward."
"You'll get such a good one", Kriss promised. "Better make sure the bed's in order because it won't be when I'm done."
I already knew what to ask for, and more importantly what to write about, so without further ado I went to work.

The subject would be guest hosts on talk shows, of which there had been a few. I didn't have much trouble finding material anyway. As for the decorations, I thought of something fitting the theme and had Kriss and Lex help out. That way they could get a little something for their fans too.
We got out some pearlescent 11-inchers - unprinted this time - and Kriss explained the purpose.
"Need to make some balloons look old in a hurry? Here's one way to do it. First you want to get some that's not too elastic, like these." She stretched an empty lilac specimen to show the lack of snappiness. "Then blow it up as much as possible."
Her strong lungs took care of that in no time at all, but unsurprisingly she inflated it a bit too much and it burst pretty unimpressively.
"Oops! Well, now we know how big they can get."
Lex, who'd just been watching, nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."
"You do one too", Kriss suggested and began on a fresh one.
They both blew nice necks on their loons but stopped before things would get noisy. My wife continued the tutorial.
"Then let the air back out."
The pink balloon deflated into a wrinkly pouch between her fingers. It had definitely lost even more elasticity.
"If you want you can blow it back up - you'll see that it can get a bit bigger now."
She demonstrated and I couldn't help anticipating another pop, but it failed to appear. Instead Kriss held up a pink globe that was quite clearly beyond the recommended size. Lex had only made hers shrink to a quarter of the full size and was busy tying it off. Kriss followed her example and the result was a pretty pathetic pair of decorations, looking rather lopsided and worn out.
"I'm not sure why anyone one would want to hang something like this, but it's a special effect for 'On the Air'. You should check it out - might even learn something new!"
"We'd better finish this so they can start filming", Lex said.
"Oh. Right!"
They blew up two more balloons each, far quicker than necessary, and reduced them back to sad substitutes for the full versions. They even tied them off at various sizes - one hardly containing more air than enough to fill out the wrinkles - before bidding their viewers adieu. I'd no doubt another inflation scene would be a welcome addition to the usual instrumental antics, though it would appear a little out of place. Then again, it would be neither the first or the last one.

With the half-empty loons attached to the wall my bit could begin. I walked on in a rather professional-looking blazer and blouse - yeah, yeah, I wear that a lot. Sue me. Before sitting down in the inflatable chair I stopped to inspect the backdrop.
"Guess these need replacing too."
I took out the bag and dutifully blew up identical loons into appealing pear-shapes, taking down their predecessors and fastening the new ones with the same pins - after using those to pop their first occupants, of course. They barely made a sound when I punctured them, but it was a matter of principle.
"All set, I suppose."
With the member video done I could begin the regular show. As Kim had been quarantined Lex was handling the camera and Kriss provided moral support. I had to stop her from giving me Kimmy's preferred preparations, though, as I wasn't sure I'd be able to perform after that. Lexi signed for me to start and I put on my best presenting smile.
"Hello! I'm Cheryl Silvers and welcome to 'On the Air' with me. I'm afraid Kimber is indisposed, so I'll be handling today's episode. I'm usually on the other side of the camera but I think I know how this is done."
My first idea had been 'I'm afraid Kimber's having a case of the sniffles so the only thing she'll be blowing today is her nose', but then I remembered I shouldn't draw special attention to that. Besides, I was pretty sure some people would actually request seeing Kim blow her nose and she'd probably either do it or say that'd be extra.
"I'd be more nervous about filling in if guest hosts hadn't been a long tradition on talk shows, but I have no intention of going the Jay Leno route and eventually replace the original."
I was of course referring to Johnny Carson, and went on to talk about how both Jay and David Letterman had stood in for him before graduating to their own things. I also brought up how he'd treated his frequent guest and co-host Joan Rivers after she got her own show. Insecure prick. Was a good place to mention that Jack Nicholson's 'Here's Johnny' was originally used to introduce Carson on 'The Tonight Show' before jumping to other presenters and their stand-ins. And of course the general history of the talk show, from the radio origins with the likes of Alexander Woollcott and Walter Winchell through TV legends like Steve Allen, Arthur Godfrey, Jack Paar, Phil Donahue and what-have-you down to the ones still relevant today. It actually wasn't that interesting a subject, but spot on for my situation and containing some neat opportunities for trivia and gossip. It served its purpose, at least.
"Of course, talk shows are usually centered around conversations with guests while we mainly just talk. But you get the idea, and any host might need a time-out at some points. Hopefully Kimber will be back next time - in the meantime, I'm plain old Cheryl and signing off."
I did ask the usual of the viewers, of course, but if they hadn't already I wasn't sure I'd be able to convince them to subscribe. Still, I had to do something for those who had elected to.

We'd been discussing what that should be and I'd nixed playing the tuba. It's not really a solo instrument. Kriss made another suggestion.
"Shame there weren't any inflatable boots in the box or you could have said something about having big shoes to fill."
That would actually have worked, corny as it was. But for lack of props we needed something else.
"All I can think of is the frog and the ox and I don't feel like puffing myself up until I burst."
Lexi guffawed. "But think of the views! Would go viral for sure."
"No popping my Cherry", Kriss said. "Unless she wants to, of course."
Thinking of the fable gave me another idea, so I pretended the decorations were Kim's work. I walked in, looked them over and scoffed.
"Bet I can do a better job."
Then I produced a similar loon and blew it up to match those on the wall, holding it against them for comparison. I added more air and the damn thing popped right away. Too fast for what I'd intended, so I got to experience the wonders of retakes myself. The second one outgrew the originals and I pretended to be momentarily satisfied before deciding to go even bigger. As the neck stretched and filled out against my lips I knew it was a matter of moments and stopped blowing for a final check. It was definitely the largest loon in the room, but I couldn't stop there if I wanted to get the point across. So I drew another breath and forced it into the overblown balloon, which naturally made it burst with a sudden bang that signaled I'd gone too far.
I sighed. "You know, I'm pretty sure there's a moral in this." Then, after thinking it over, I concluded it had to be "Buy better balloons" and nodded at the camera in parting.
Lex shut it off and told me Aesop would be proud. But sarcasm aside, it wasn't the worst message to send.
Kriss put her paws around me, complimented my work and blew in my ear. "So what kind of job-well-done reward would you like?"
That one was easy. "Both of you at the same time. And then you change places."

Reading the reactions it seemed I'd passed the test. The reviews were mostly kind and Kimber got loads of well-wishes, including one jokester hoping she hadn't popped again. I assured him she was fine while Kriss couldn't stop laughing about having a blow-up hostess.
"Or an inflatable stand-in!"
"Well, you would know."
The Kim doll might be good for private fun and not-too-detailed shots, but behind the desk it wouldn't really pass muster. And I doubted its presenting skills.
Some of the other Angels expressed real concern, mainly Mandy who was worried Kim wouldn't be able to do the rundown of the San Diego comic convention she'd suggested. She was really looking forward to it, having provided lots of script material herself. I told her the plans were unchanged, but Betty wasn't too impressed.
"So you had to jump in at short notice? Can't have that. Don't get me wrong - was a good show, but you need a backup plan. Why doncha let us do a vid, something to save for a rainy day?"
I said it probably wouldn't hurt, provided they kept to the format.
"Finally! Been waiting for this."
I was glad they couldn't actually post it without approval, but at least it would be interesting to see what they'd think up.
Anyway, the regular host was well enough in time to cover the convention. Kim, who's probably never read a single issue in her life, had been all for it once she realized she could portray any superheroine she liked. She spent quite some time looking over her alternatives and I was half certain she'd choose Zatanna just to mess with me some more, but she proved more conservative.
"I'd pick Supergirl if the show wasn't so boring", she said. "And she can blow even harder than me, can't live up to that."
"So who then?"
"I liked the look of Black Canary but I want something more iconic, someone even I would recognize. Like Wonder Woman."
Not a bad choice. Her hair color was completely wrong but nothing a temporary dye wouldn't fix. Or better yet, a wig. And costumes had been easy to come by lately, not only ones based on the movie. Hence it was all planned out, but hadn't been shot yet. If we started making stuff too much in advance there'd be time to reconsider the content and I didn't want that. No way I'd admit it to Betty though, especially since it seemed to have scored us a free episode.

So after donning a wavy black wig and a comic-accurate costume Kim painted her face in a way that hopefully would evoke the original. Sharp black eyeliner to approximate pen strokes certainly contributed to that effect. The faux-metal bracelets were shiny if not entirely convincing and a length of rope sprayed with gold paint would have to do for a magic lasso. - even if the coil was just secured to her hip it would be visible during the studio setup. We'd managed to find white loons printed with various keyboard symbols - the ones comics tend to use in place of naughty words - and assorted exclamations, making them literal speech balloons. Kimber blew up a fair number to hang on the back wall, moving them around until she was satisfied with the distribution. I was absolutely certain a fair number of fans would appreciate watching Wonder Woman inflate the props and anticipated at least a couple of new members. Provided we actually managed to put together a show.

We did, eventually. Kim's unfamiliarity with the material made a couple of reshoots necessary but in the end she delivered a passable summary. Mandy's first-hand experience from a previous year added a bit of perspective and using her descriptions made it seem like Kim had visited in person. That was just make-believe though, which felt oddly appropriate.
She went through how the event had gone from humble beginnings - attracting 300 visitors in 1970 as the 'Golden State Comic Con' - to the vast expo of today with around 130 000 people in attendance. Nowadays several other tradeshows take place at the same time and place, bringing in business professionals from many corners of the entertainment industry and making it a meeting place for much more than just fans. Those are still the most important demographic though and apart from regular exhibitions by various studios and creators there are lots of panels, seminars and workshops along with a myriad other attractions, rides and photo ops. That last part segued nicely into Kim's present appearance.
"And of course, what would any fan gathering be without cosplay? Lots of people attend dressed as fictional characters, often in very elaborate, expensive and stunning costumes. I thought it'd be in spirit of the thing to do this episode as 'Wonder Woman', if you for some reason have been wondering about this getup. I'm gonna to talk a bit about her now."
Kimber told her audience the character had been created by psychologist William Moulton Marston in 1941 as a new type of hero, who would conquer through love rather than might. His wife Elizabeth had approved but suggested he'd make her a woman. Said wife also served as an inspiration and model for the heroine - as did their mutual life partner, Olive Byrne. I could really sympathize with that arrangement, which must have been very unconventional (and probably kept secret) at the time. Mr. Moulton was a firm believer in the superiority of women and a fan of submission and bondage, themes that weren't too subtle in the comics. He'd also helped inventing the lie detector, something that's reflected in the 'lasso of truth'.
Anyway, background aside, Wonder Woman was said to have been sculpted from clay by queen Hippolyta of the Amazons and given life and powers by the Greek gods.
"Later writers made her the biological daughter of the queen and divine head honcho Zeus", Kim said. "Funny how stuff like that can change in comics - I'll stick to the basics since a lot of other stuff keeps changing too."
Given the name Diana, she was raised and trained on the fictional island of Themiscyra, where no males are allowed. When an American airman crashed there she was given the mission to return him to the land of men, joining in the fight for justice (originally against the nazis) along the way. Naturally she needed a civilian identity, picking 'Diana Prince' to work as a nurse for Steve (the pilot), whom she'd fallen in love with.
"If I'd never seen a man in my life I'm not sure I'd hook up with the first one I met on general principle, but it was 1940's comic book storytelling - let's roll with it."
Being the forties also showed in her not being allowed to be more than secretary for the first superhero group - Justice Society of America. This in spite of her being more powerful than most of the regular members, having about the same strength as Superman. Gotta love progress.
"Like many other heroes, Wonder Woman has acquired several new skills over the years when a story called for it, like telepathy, being able to speak any language and even flying. But basically she's a real good fighter, quick enough to deflect bullets with her bracelets and able to make anyone tell the truth by tying them up with her lasso. Having those bracelets bound together along with her arms used to make her powerless - I don't know if that's her weakness anymore but it was the one her creator thought up."
Kim also named some of her main enemies - Cheetah, Circe, Ares and Dr. Psycho - along with mentioning the 1970's TV series and the movie from the other year. Then we tried getting back to the main subject.
"Now imagine that as much or more can be said about every single character in comics and you might understand how the San Diego Con became such a big deal. Not surprisingly it also hosts the annual Eisner Award ceremony - the comic book Oscars."
In passing, Kim said Will Eisner's creations had been widely influential - hence the name - but that it would take too much time to go into those. Instead she recounted some impressions supplied by our Texan acquaintance to add some more flavor. Of course, Mandy's reminiscences weren't 100% positive. She'd struck out at securing both a parking space and a win at the Lego lottery, but apart from that she'd enjoyed herself. She didn't say much about her lifemate's opinions, but Betty tends to snark even about stuff she likes. Regardless, bringing up less enjoyable parts of the experience felt like a nice, authentic touch.
As the convention would be in full swing on the airdate Kim didn't suggest people go there, instead saying it might be difficult getting in and noting everyone with an interest would probably already be there. She wished those a wonderful time and hoped their costumes would be better than hers. Then the broadcast wrapped up and we went from comics to comedy.

For the subscriber video I'd yet again been able to think up something punny and Kim readily accepted the suggestion. The main feature involved her blowing a twelve-incher to pop, but for once that proved a bit of a problem and she insisted on multiple takes. Kimmy was sure the real WW could do it much faster and look real powerful doing it, and I reminded her there was no such thing as the real one. She said I knew what she meant and blew another balloon to bits. Still not satisfied with her time, she called on her wife for support.
"Pretend it's someone you're angry with", Alex suggested. "Like a supervillain threatening the world."
"Yeah!" Kriss exclaimed. "Some evildoer you can only stop by blowing him to pop."
"Humans can't be blowpopped", I reminded her.
"Last I checked comic characters weren't human."
Kim was laughing like it had been the end of a 'Superfriends' episode. "I'd totally start watching Supergirl if she did that to a baddie!"
"I hope they've never shown her give someone mouth to mouth."
It was Kriss' turn to laugh. "That'd be something! Rescued from a burning building only to be
burst by your savior."
That visual was too much for me and I broke into a fit of giggles. I tried getting things back on track.
"All right, but how about this? Doctor Evilface says he will blow up New York unless you can blow that up in less than twenty seconds."
"Not on my watch, Doctor Evilface!" Kim said and inhaled in an exaggerated, cartoony way.
"Wait! Camera."
I turned it on and Kim strode into view, placing a hand on her hip.
"Some people are curious why I'm called Wonder Woman. Well, it's because I tend to wonder a lot. For instance" - she held up an empty blue balloon - "I wonder how big this can get?"
She tilted her head as she looked it over. "And I wonder how long it's going to take? Only one way to find out."
With another of those wondrous inhales she set about discovering the answer. There was no doubt she was blowing as hard and as fast as she could and her cheeks looked like something straight off the comic pages as she puffed them out to capacity. The balloon struggled in vain against her efforts and ended up exploding magnificently, a loud bang sending shreds all over the place. You know how some brands just leave a couple of neat pieces behind? This wasn't one of those.
Kim surveyed the devastation. "Now I wonder who's gonna clean up this mess."
I stopped the recording just like I'd stopped my watch some moments before.
"21.9" I told her. "Looks like it's goodbye to the Big Apple."
"Nah", Kriss said. "I'm pretty sure Dr. Evilface was too busy popping a boner to watch the time."
Lex tsk'd. "Bet there wasn't even a bomb. He just wanted to see this kind of explosion."
“Speaking of ‘splosions, wonder how I should pop them?”
“Can only think of one way”, Lexi said. She shook out a few of the twelve-inchers on the desk, picked up a yellow one and inflated it to full size. Then she tied it off and placed it between her palms, angled her elbows straight out and pressed her arms together. The balloon bulged out immensely before bursting and the pieces spun through the air while dropping to the floor. It was definitely the right way to do it Wonder Woman-style. I just hoped Kim wouldn’t have to struggle and ruin the impression – after all, Lexi’s pretty damned strong.
The presenter tried anyway, gritting her teeth with the effort but succeeding. She could cheat with a hidden thumbnail whenever a loon resisted too much, but I think she only did that once or twice. It wouldn’t be half as fun if it the balloons broke too smoothly or quickly. Once finished all the shooting was done for the day, but it turned out the studio would see a little more action.
"There's another thing I wonder", Kim said, hefting her lasso. "I wonder which of you naughty girls I'm gonna do first!"
Before I could think she'd hooped the rope over me and yanked me in for an absolutely searing kiss. I was pushed onto the bed and had my hands tied together above my head which would have been pretty ineffective if I hadn't played along. Kim yanked my pants off, donned the strapon and I found myself being not only ravished but ravaged by Wonder Woman. It was an amazingly rough and intense fuck, heightened by the merciless stare she was fixing on me.
"The lasso of truth compels you to tell me what you really think of this!"
"I fucking love it!"
My struggle to break free might have been an act, but my reactions weren't. It wasn't long before I'd been screwed into total submission, and once I came I was set free to be replaced by Alex while Kriss licked and blew on my wrists. She and Lex had removed their clothes while waiting to save time, which gave me lots of extra opportunities to repay her. When she got her turn I was about to explode again from sheer voyeuristic delight, and seeing her getting tied up in preparation had me all but whining. I took Lexi's face in my hands and looked her straight in the eyes.
"I'll do anything if you blow me while I watch..."
"Would anyway", she grinned and pushed me down into the inflatable seat, kneeling while I spread my legs as wide as they would go for a clear view.
Then both she and Kim set to work and I threw my head back so hard I couldn't have seen anything even if my eyes had stayed open. I forced myself to look and the sight of my wife tied up and fucked by the classic heroine was like something out of an erotic fever dream.
It was all I could have asked for and yet I wanted more, so I reached for one of the balloons still on the desk and began to inflate it, grasping it with both hands and blowing with all the might I could muster. Lex began sucking hard and my feet bent backwards with pent-up tensions while the loon grew a neck and blocked out the show in front of me. I needed to blow it away fast, so gasping and straining and probably going red in the face I pushed in as much air as my lungs could hold until it popped and showered Lexi with torn latex shreds. The anticipation had been great but not enough so I blew up another balloon, this time letting the air out as it neared the bursting point and starting over again and again, each time both hoping and fearing it would break. I was panting so hard it was difficult getting my breaths inside it, and eventually it was not the balloon but me that exploded in a series of noises instead of a single bang.
Kriss had been released too and came over to take the nearly full rubber globe from my grip, bring it to her lips and finish it off on general principle. Then the three of us acted on a shared impulse and overpowered the superheroine, tying her bracelets together like she'd described and throwing her onto the mattress, relieving her of costume and strapon - which Alex put on and to good use while me and Kriss held down a leg each. Maybe not fair play but a nice turnaround and Kim's shrill moans made it clear it was the right thing to do. She gasped and groaned and it became difficult to restrain her, but we persevered until the twitching and attempted kicks subsided along with her cries of passion. But as Lexi pulled out Kim made a half-desperate statement.
"The lasso of truth compels me! I'll die if you don't all fuck me!"
Kriss and Lex switched places while I readjusted my grip and thought up a nice finish for my turn. When it came - right after Kim did - I brought the leftover speech balloons along as I climbed on top. I placed one between her lips and gave her a short command as I slid inside.
"Blow."
She did, and the balloon started to grow from hard puffs timed with my thrusts. It was printed with symbols giving the impression of her saying something unspeakable to her tormentor and bobbed up and down under the onslaught. Eventually she couldn’t hold it in place anymore and it slipped away with a sputter, soaring and speeding through the room before vanishing behind the furniture. I immediately put a new one in its place and Kim began blowing into it at once, now expressing an ever-growing ‘WOW!’ through the print. As the neck started to wobble I gripped it and made sure neither the balloon nor our captive could escape.
“Keep going”, I said, “or I’ll stop.”
She obeyed and I rewarded her by pumping away even faster and harder, angling the expanding rubber away from my face. Kim couldn’t make much noise without losing air but her muffled grunts were still very, very expressive, as was her entire face. Desire was written all over it but I couldn’t tell what she wanted more – making the balloon explode or climax herself. I was determined to not let her get off until she’d burst the rubber by blowing, but her lips contorted so much more air was going past the opening than into it. She looked so sexy I simply had to take the loon aside to put my own lips against her mouth. Then I put the latex back and hissed at her.
“Firm lips. Strong breaths. Now.”
Kim complied, pressing her eyes tightly shut as she gave an immense, staggered puff that made the balloon’s neck stretch out further than I’d thought it’d go. She blew oh so very hard once more and the pop shattered both the balloon and the silence. As her gaze met mine there was nothing but absolute need and suddenly there wasn’t Cheetah and Wonder Woman playing power games anymore - just Cherry and Kimmy sharing pleasure. I buried my nose against my neck as I did my best to give her all I had.
“Good girl, good girl… Love you so much. Come for me, baby… come for me!”
And she did. The yell and the shudder were intense but not enough to throw me off and I kept at it until she brought her tied hands down around my neck and pulled me in for a long, sweet kiss. We sat up and Kriss and Lex joined us to hold and caress with liberal smooching, licking and blowing. Winding down after something like that took at least as long as the actual playtime, but was so nice it didn’t matter.

Despite all that it's an unspoken house rule that whenever we indulge in any kind of BDSM the participants have to snuggle up at bedtime to make absolutely certain it was just a game. Lexi's idea, since she never felt sure with any of her boyfriends, and Kriss had similar thoughts about her ex-husband. That she's been married to someone else is the only thing making me feel jealous, but since I came pretty close myself I shouldn't. Regardless, those cuddle sessions are a great opportunity for some gentle, tender lovemaking, which incidentally was what Lex requested in return for services rendered. Would have anyway, but still.
“Think they’ll ever draw something like that?” Kim asked as she started drifting off.
“Not officially”, I said. “But would love reading that episode.”
“Loved starring in it”, she sighed. “Can we do it again next year?”
Kriss put in her two cents. “Can do it again tomorrow.”

That didn’t come to pass, but boy did the viewers ever like the tiny bit we showed them. Seemed quite a few had fantasies about Wonder Woman manhandling balloons, and Lexi’s popping suggestion was evidently spot on. The only complaint was the balloons hadn’t been bigger.
And naturally someone had to say Kimber would make an awesome Supergirl. There really is no pleasing some people.
Nevertheless, we had so much fun toying with our captive it was agreed there'd be a 'Superheroine Sunday' every month. Provided the rest of us could tie her up afterwards, of course.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 34

The convention coverage hadn't been up long when we received a few files from Betty and Mandy. The content was satisfactory, to say the least, and instead of saving it up for when needed I decided to post it right away. They were probably dying to see the reactions, anyway. So Kim made an introduction where she presented them as old friends from her stage career - using their monikers from those days - and then we cut to the actual guest episode.
For me personally it felt great to see those girls back in action. They were both wearing cowboy hats and really stereotypical country gear with lots of sequins for effect, Betty mostly in black and Mandy in white. The latter had on a Dolly Parton style wig, going nicely with her big bust.
The room was hung with red and blue balloons featuring white equestrian prints, but the real centerpiece was the big inflatable horse. It would have dominated the background even if it hadn't been placed so prominently. Dark brown with a tan mane, it was about the size of a real pony - or heck, even a small horse. Have to admit I'm not sure just how big those are. The fake could actually be even bigger - or could it? As I said, hard to tell for a laywoman like me. It definitely was big enough to be ridden without making the mounter look ridiculous - that is, if the legs would hold up. Pretty sure they wouldn't.
The presenters were more well-informed, and then some. They told us a bit about horses in show business, from circuses to rodeos and trick riding through the centuries. There were a few innuendos about straddling and such, but nothing too vulgar. And the rapport between them felt both natural and spontaneous, proof of their very real chemistry - best friends since childhood and lovers since a couple of years. Wives, even.
Betty's the best straight woman (but evidently not entirely straight) I've met by a far margin, and I don't think it's possible to play a bimbo better than Mandy does since she turned out to be the brains of the whole bunch. But the visitors to the theater would probably come away with the impression of a complete airhead, which after all was her intention. Made for better comedy, and her bits had always been pretty damn amusing.
After they'd signed off Kim returned to say she hoped everyone had enjoyed watching Lulu Lonestar and May Explode before announcing she had no plans on retiring just yet. But if she ever did people could rest assured there were others who could do the job just as well.
While no one could ever replace my Kimmy-coo, except maybe professionally, the temps had certainly done their homework on how we ran the current show and included a long behind-the-scenes video of Elizabeth mouth-inflating the horse from start to finish through a valve under a hoof, while Amanda blew up every single balloon in the room. There were three, maybe four dozen of those, all getting filled nearly to the limit as Mandy puffed out her almost perfectly round cheeks with every breath she put in. She'd been one of the first in the troupe to grasp what a difference blowing your face up made for the viewing impression, but all the Angels had soon followed suit. And eventually looked damned fine doing it.
The horse got blown real tight as well but that probably goes without saying. I guessed it was Betty's way of showing Carrie how much she missed her - by providing such a magnificent setup. She'd probably say something along the lines of 'I always knew I'd catch you blowing a horse some day.'"
Even though she'd filled about forty balloons Mandy finished first and decided to help her mate, kneeling down to locate the separate valve on the mane and puffing it rigid. Next she realized the tail was limp as well and blew it up as far as it would go. She seemed disappointed she couldn't get it to stick straight out. Only then did she set about decorating the room, and soon enough Betty blew in one last, struggling breath and set the horse upright. She patted the flank, placed a kiss on the blazed brow and joined in the balloon hanging. There was a whole lot of shifting and squeezing to get them all into place, and a sudden bang had Mandy jump back with a "Oops!"
Knowing the wide-eyed blonde I had a feeling it wasn't an accident, but it made for a more interesting watch. In the end Betty was left with a single red balloon she didn't seem to be able finding a spot for and with her trademark look of mild exasperation squeezed it between her fingers until it exploded. She dusted off her hands and nodded at the display with appreciation.
Then Mandy's smile signaled it was time for a 'good job' hug and they embraced tightly, turning their heads to flash million-dollar grins at the camera. The video ended and we were left wondering what kind of kissing had ensued. I had a pretty good idea.

Since Kim had made a thing out of blowing to pop for the subscribers, the Texans weren't to be outdone. Elizabeth held up two empty balloons for the camera, giving away the red and keeping the blue for herself.
"We thought we'd see who can blow one of these up the fastest. Blow it up until it pops, that is." She turned to Mandy. "Ready?"
"Ready!" the blonde replied, her entire being radiating eagerness.
"On three - One, two, THREE!"
Amanda began to blow as soon as Betty pronounced the last number, provoking a brief frown from her opponent who was left more than half a breath behind. It passed as soon as she managed to start on her own and was replaced by a look of sheer focus and determination. I had no idea who'd win with mere 11-inchers, only that it would be a quick bout. Both ladies sported huge, bulging cheeks as always, reminding everyone that this was by no means a leisurely contest.
Sure enough, the loons grew big and grew necks in a time anyone could be proud of, and as Betty's blue balloon approached its end she switched from long, hard breaths to short, powerful ones. Every burst of air put fresh pressure on the latex, not giving it time to adapt and expand, and just three were needed to make it give up and break with a sharp snap that put a smug expression on Elizabeth's face.
Meanwhile, Mandy made a big deal out of struggling with the loon, her gaze as wide as I'd ever seen it as she fought to blow it past the bursting point, going cross-eyed with the exaggerated exertions. It was such a funny and pretty act I felt my heart speed up just a little. I'd always admired (and been pretty attracted by) her ability to play the stereotypical cartoon bimbo, and knowing how clever she really was made it even more exciting.
Now she was almost doubled over with the effort, shaking her head as if it would somehow help the air go in. The hissing and sputtering grew more pronounced, proving it wasn't too effective. She leaned back for a humongous inhale through the nose, her impressive chest inflating even larger, and then expelled all of it in a gigantic blow, pressing her eyes shut in anticipation.
The balloon popped with less noise than you'd expected, but pieces from the violent eruption flew all over the room and out of frame. The visuals made up for the sound, with Mandy throwing her hands up with a shriek and skipping backwards in two dainty hops. I was reminded of why she'd gotten more fan mail than any of the other Angels - she was basically born to play around with balloons. I was one hundred percent sure she'd thrown the match just so she could do that little routine, which also accounted for her being fine with cheating at the start. It hadn't been a competition as much as a skit, and a surge of pride shot through me. I had after all been in charge of honing their performance skills for some time.

It would have been anticlimactic if we hadn't gotten a popping scene as well, and for that one the horse had been removed from the room. The girls were also sporting hip holsters with revolvers that they drew and twirled while explaining it was time for some rootin' tootin' shootin'.
Now, there'd been some trouble with ricochets at the theater, and that had just been from blowguns. Whatever these were loaded with would be a bad, bad idea to fire indoors. But since both had messaged me since it couldn't have been too disastrous.
It turned out they were packing squirt guns, and since the loons exploded at once when struck I guessed it was citrus oil. It was actually kinda cool, since the sprays could take out two or three balloons at once and there were no bangs apart from the popping. The really neat part was how they handled the firearms (waterarms?) - you might imagine Mandy a klutz but her fingers are extremely nimble, what with having sleight-of-hand as a hobby and all. The way she spun her revolver around was mesmerizing and her skill was a minor turn-on in itself. Betty's no slouch in that department either but was slightly overshadowed by the blonde. They did every kind of trick shooting in the book, including firing under a raised leg or backwards over a shoulder. The splashes of liquid made sure every pull of the trigger resulted in a burst balloon, even if they sometimes weren't precisely where they aimed.
Eventually they'd shot down every target and faced the camera to blow imaginary smoke off the barrels, which ended the segment. It was a laudable effort and Kim was elated at having inspired her friends to do something that creative. She too was insistent on uploading it as soon as possible. It bought us time to record two more regular eps - one in the tub and one in the studio - while also preparing the birthday greetings for August. Since it would be a back-to-school month for many they all went for the stereotypical school girl look, with white shirts and loose ties matching the plaid skirts. The musical arrangement was along the lines of light pop, this time played on dual trumpets, and there was an addition to the blooper section when Kim accidentally blew her blue balloon to burst. Then the comments started to pour in and we got the Texans on video chat.
While Betty looked about the same as in the clips - minus the rodeo gear, of course - Mandy had her natural mousy hair on display, styled into a shaggy pixie cut that managed to be tomboyish, feminine and attractive as heck at once. I kinda preferred it to the bleached, airy 'do she'd sported at the theatre, although that had been amazing too. I think what made me the happiest was her being more secure about herself these days.
"Typical", Betty said. "Here we set out to provide you with a backup plan and you blow it all at once. Did anyone take ill again?"
Kim merely smiled. "Nopes, but it was too good to save."
Said smile was returned. "It was, wasn't it?"
We gave them enough compliments to last a while and then Kriss had a question.
"Where did you get the horse?"
"Oh, old family heirloom", Betty said. "It's mommy's so we borrowed it."
Alex was puzzled. "What would she need an inflatable one for?"
"Trade fairs. Good for attention."
Turned out the family business included not only real animals but riding accessories as well, with a line of attire and associated gear. The horse was used for displaying saddles, since it could hold the weight of one if not much more.
"At least when properly inflated" Mandy said. "The kids love it."
I couldn't help being skeptical. Betty had been known to spin a yarn or two. "Yeah, they're known for their purchasing power."
"They're known for dragging their parents along", Betty corrected. "And once there they might actually look at the merchandise."
Kim had a concern. "Won't the kiddies be disappointed they can't ride it?"
"That's what the plastic pony's for!" Mandy exclaimed. "But it isn't as eye-catching and not nearly as large."
Evidently my equine knowledge was even worse than I'd thought. "Why not a full-size rideable then?"
Betty shrugged. "The pony's unwieldy enough and the grownups are happy to try out saddles as-is."
"Not the best thing for trying out spurs on", Kriss noted.
Mandy broke into a borderline chuckle. "Funny you should say that! Can I tell it, Liz?"
Her wife made a go-ahead gesture and the blonde went on. "One of the assistants was bringing out more products including...guess what?"
"Spurs", Lex ventured.
"Spurs! And what with the limited space and all managed to prick Horsey with one. Psshhh!"
The sound along with a lowered hand painted a pretty clear picture.
"That's sad!" Kim laughed. "Would've loved to see it!"
I didn't think it all that sad - since the inflatable had looked fine in the vid it was clear some patching had been done. Hilarious, sure, though maybe not to any children watching it.
Mandy nodded. "Me too! But we got it first-hand."
"Yeah", Betty said. "Mommy was indeed at hand. And not too happy. She'd lent the compressor to a quad dealer who had problems with his own."
Figures. "I guess the assistant had to step in."
"No, he'd 'done enough already'. Mommy dragged it behind a partition and blew it back up herself."
I didn't know whether to be surprised or not. Mrs. Chase was a sweet, petite and absolutely stunning southern belle, although from my one meeting with her I'd gathered she was pretty determined and tough as nails behind that facade. She could have spent a comfortable life doing nothing on the ranch after being widowed, but instead she'd used a little of her money to expand the land-owning and stud business into an actual occupation - and made it work. Hiring designers and manufacturers and overseeing the advertising and sales she'd created a rather popular line. Had to admire the lady, but it still was a stretch picturing her mouth-inflating an almost life size horse - probably in some really elegant but semi-tacky western attire. Then again, Betty was her daughter and she didn’t have much trouble doing it.
"Would have done it on the spot", Betty clarified, "if she hadn't known some people would pay good money to see it and she wasn't in the mood for free samples. Apart from the horseshoe lollies, but that's not really the same."
Kim shook her head. "Would love to see my mom's face if she realized she'd have to do something like that."
I wondered if mine would be able to. She'd probably call dad in.
"That horse must've been wearing lucky horsehoes", Kriss said. "Getting that from two generations of beauties."
Mandy gave a mischievous little grin. "I've blown Horsey up too. So she" - a nod towards Betty - "could ride him."
A brief blush passed over Elizabeth's face and for once she lacked a ready reply. Kim came to her rescue.
"It's okay, Bets, I've had a ride on the dragon myself."
"Good on you", Betty said. "Thought it'd be a shame if you didn't."
Kriss gave the usual support. "They're pretty much made for it."
"Horsey's not", Amanda said. "Can't fill him all the way or he'd collapse. And probably pop."
I nodded. The impact would put a strain on the joints. Mandy went on:
"So you make sure there's just enough for the legs to splay out. Then you keep blowing until you hear it's just about right."
It was kinda understood that what to listen for was the rider's reactions.
Betty sighed. "Might as well come clean right away. I kinda like humping 'flatables, 'kay?"
"It's awesome", Kim said. "Watching others ride something you've inflated is pretty great too..."
Mandy's eyes glittered as she spoke. "It's kinda special when someone you love has huffed and puffed and blown it all nice and big just for you, doncha think?"
"God's truth", Betty agreed, and I hoped her wife kept her well supplied with freshly inflated toys. The look on her face sort of hinted at that.
"You can try the big lizard the next time you visit", Kim said.
"I'll keep that in mind."
We asked what they thought about 'Superheroine Sunday' and Amanda couldn't be more excited. She started spouting off suggestions and while I hadn't heard about some of them it was comforting to know where to turn for material.
And while on that subject she addressed Kim directly. "Are you hyped for the next season?"
"You know it!"
A huge cartoon fan like Mandy had easily latched onto the She-Ra train at Kim's recommendation, in no small part from watching her cosplay. Betty was sort of straddling the fence, though.
"I like the mermaid", she admitted. "And that they agree 'Horsey' is a stupid name."
"It's not!" Mandy protested.
Betty gave her an oh-so-sweet smooch on the cheek. "Okay. Maybe not when you use it, Ames."
Anyway, the next episodes were just a few days away and I hoped nothing would happen to spoil Kim's mood, since we'd already wasted our backup. Though I wouldn't call it a waste. We finished up the call and went on to work on what character Kim would do next. It would involve some shopping for sure, but that was part of the fun.

What with the guest content and all it might be suitable to get into viewer reactions. Following the podcast and the comic con coverage there had been an increase in merchandise sales and my starring role even led to a few more photos of yours truly being sold. And just as I'd predicted, the chance at seeing more of Kim's cosplaying led to a small surge of new memberships. We were actually turning a bit of a profit by now, and a previous members-only show had apparently had a therapeutic effect too - but not, as you may think, one with 'Doctor Kimber'.
No, it was the dragon inflation that had made someone finally reconcile with his attraction to inflatables. As he was into fantasy as well it had been simply impossible for him to not be aroused beyond belief by the combination. He wrote to tell us how he'd only had time to slip on his fleshlight before coming and as he kept watching slowly grew hard again inside it until he could use it as intended for a second orgasm before Kim had finished blowing up the fantastic beast. He called finally admitting that kink to himself 'life-changing' and thanked Kimber for making it possible. She was touched.
"All I did was blow up an inflatable", she said.
I shook my head. "No. You put in a lot of effort looking your best for the part, then blew up an absolutely massive, unbelievable, stupidly huge inflatable with nothing but lung power. Watching that did things to me too, you know. Love strong women."
"That why you let us blow hot water bottles on stage?" she teased.
"No, that was because the audience would love it. Though I won't say I didn't enjoy it."
"Can I do it on the show?"
"It's more of a members thing."
Then visions danced through my head of Kim, after talking about strongman feats, nonchalantly picking up a bottle, putting on protective glasses and matter-of-factly blowing up the rubber flask until it burst before setting the props aside and moving on to the next item - without acknowledging what just happened in the slightest. That'd be cool as hell, but she'd probably have to stand up to manage and it would be enough of a struggle to spoil the effect even if she didn't. So I upheld my judgement, but made a mental note to work it in. Maybe with Lex as a guest - she loves showing off that trick too.

Speaking of previous shows, the sci-fi thing had evidently struck a chord with one viewer in particular, as he'd actually written a short story about Kimber the Galactic Heroine, called 'MISSING - Presumed Popped'.
It would have been abominable if it hadn't been so firmly tongue-in-cheek, which I could relate to. It was actually kind of enjoyable and I spent a pleasant evening reading it aloud to the others slouching about in the living room. I'll attempt a brief summary.
The tale began with the main character trying to escape an ambush by the evil Kharoomians. Her ship was all shot up and as she made her way towards the hold she was struck by shrapnel from an exploding panel and sprung a leak. Slapping a patch over the tear she reached her destination and inflated the escape bubble - by automatic pump - before entering it and launching herself towards a nearby planet. Alas, the repair job came undone and the last thing she saw before sinking into a heap and losing consciousness was her ship exploding against the vast blackness of space.
"Hyperbole!" Kriss said, raising a fist at one of the pulp prerequisites having been met.
Another staple soon followed - the green-skinned space babe. Kimber came to while being blown up by a purple-haired amazonian beauty of that hue who'd discovered and burst the bubble to see what was inside. Her name was Valinixya and the description of her brown leather vest and skirt left little to the imagination. Surprisingly, she wasn't some kind of savage but a member of the militia scattered by the invading Kharoomians - civilized, tech-savvy and knowing a nozzle when she saw one. The introductions included the mandatory exposition - Kimber had been a top agent of the Andromeda Coalition, who after a paralyzing accident volunteered to have her mind transferred into an experimental nanotech body designed to take up minimal space. The idea was to make troop transports less cumbersome, but naturally some field testing was needed. The nanobots could self-repair when no longer pushed apart by escaping air, but after enough pressure was lost all other functions went into hibernation mode. Hence the need of reinflation for Kimber to wake up.
"I can't", Alex giggled. "I just can't."
Kriss shushed her. "It's actually kinda amazing."
I agreed - amazing that someone had taken the time to justify what had essentially been a visual joke. It wasn't anywhere near believable, but told with such conviction you had to roll with it. For story purposes, at least.
It turned out Kimber's outfit was part of the body except the boots that were real to stabilize and weigh her down - something that proved important as the alien girl turned out to exhale helium. It made the Galactic Heroine feel lighter than ever before and even able to jump higher.
The whole thing was so ridic it instantly went past cringey into laughable, but in a good way.
There was some nice banter as they kept making their way through the hostile terrain - Kimber to escape the planet and return to base with fresh intel while Nixy (an instantly-coined nickname) wanted to rejoin the fight. A group of Kharoomians were hot on their trail and some improvised traps were set to relieve the victims of their weapons. Reinforcements had been called in, though - there was a chase scene ending with the heroines jumping into a river canyon, and since there was no way getting out of the water Kimber told her new friend to inflate her more for extra buoyancy and climb aboard. The image of them floating downstream in a tight embrace was pure fanservice fuel, as made clear by the suggestive writing.
The real Kim said she thought it sounded nice.
"Mm", Kriss agreed. "Until they reach the waterfall."
And of course there was one. This time it was Nixy's turn to save the day, attaching a winch on her belt to an outcropping and lowering them both onto the rocks below.
Lexi shook her head. "Kimber would have made it just fine."
"Unless she hit something sharp on the way", Kim said. "Could happen, you know."
Regardless, they'd come out of the mountains and could see the spires of a city in the distance. Nixy explained it was Yithana and that they'd be safe there. Except the Kharoomians were attacking and some pretty intense street to street fighting broke out en route to the spaceport. They were helped by the locals and after a daring raid Kimber managed to commandeer an off-planet shuttle. Nixy stayed to join the resistance and though there'd been more than enough bonding between them for a kiss we only got a wistful hug. Then the Galactic Heroine blasted off and managed to evade her pursuers long enough for them to be shot down by a coalition patrol that escorted her to HQ. Mission complete, it seemed, but during the debriefing a distress call from Yithana showed the city had fallen and the sender - Nixy herself - got dragged away as the transmission was cut off.
The tale ended with Kimber going AWOL in a rescue attempt. A regular 'to be continued', even if those words didn't appear.
"That's it?" Kim said, the one of us most used to serials.
Lex was indifferent. "Longer than I expected but I could listen to you for hours."
Her wife pouted. "Gonna be so miffed if they don't end up together."
"Maybe Kimber's like Bond - a new girl in every story", Kriss ventured. "New alien, even."
"No." Kim was firm. "It's canon now. Nixy's gonna be her inseparable partner and they'll have lots of fun adventures and a hard time keeping their paws off each other."
I sort of had to shoot that down. "Says on page two she's immune to physical sensations."
Kim thought for a moment. "Telepathy. Nixy can make others feel what she does."
"That'll save her from torture", Kriss exclaimed, rolling with it to an unexpected degree.
I put away the tablet. "Well, your choice. You can write fanfic or find out if I can make you feel what you make me feel."
Turned out I had quite a talent for that.

Kim's input notwithstanding, I sent a letter complimenting the author and asked if we could put the story on the site. Naturally not without some compensation, say a 100-pack of balloons, a signed photo and some pins and decals? Plus a digital download of the 'Best of' compilation.
He said sure and we didn't have to send him anything, but I insisted. Don't want to ever give anyone reason to feel exploited.
And on that note, I made an actual commission. Sending the story to Sam, I asked if she could make a really pulpy cover for it.
"You kidding? I love those! Always hoped I'd get to do one for real."
"Well, you can now if you want. Think there's something in it to illustrate?"
"Oh for sure, but I could always do it the old-fashioned way and make something up."
That brought on a memory. "I heard pulp writers always tried getting sneak peeks at upcoming covers because writing something that matched them almost guaranteed the story would be bought."
She laughed. "I'll buy that. But did you know the cover artist for 'Weird Tales' was a woman?"
I didn't, and she told me about Margaret Brundage and her talent for painting nudity and damsels in distress.
"Maybe men back then were too prude to do those to that extent", I suggested.
"Doubt it, but she definitely had an advantage at knowing female anatomy!"
"So what's your fee for one Brundage-style cover?"
"Screw that - you've still got points left on the pad."
I asked if it had been what she'd hoped for, she said it was and more, and then the devil got into me.
"If you work Nixy in, could you make her look like Alex but green?"
Sam's grin was devilish too. "Great idea! Definitely doing that."
As we hung up I knew I couldn't wait to see the results. And to surprise the others with it.

To round off, I'm sure a few words about the reception of the guest episode won't hurt. Both newcomers got a heap of approval and Amanda, who'd never been featured before, received particular attention - especially for her fight against the stubborn loon. That isn't to say Betty was neglected, and some guy said he could ride her 'til the cows came home. The member who'd appreciated her bubblegum skills begged us to make her a regular and while I said geography would make that hard I didn't entirely rule out further appearances.
Carrie's comment was almost verbatim what I'd figured, followed by "I wanna do an episode too."
"Should we take her up on the offer?" I asked Kim.
"Oh sure, can't wait to see what she'd do. If I still get to introduce her."
Knowing my girls I knew the question would be repeated, so I sent out a general check to see if any of the other Angels were interested. Unsurprisingly, they were all onboard provided they could talk about some favorite interest of their own choice. I told them there was no hurry, but I had a hunch it would fall on deaf ears. Time would tell.

[ChillinHaze]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

That bit about how exciting and awesome it is to play with an inflatable someone else blew up for you or see someone you love play with one you got inflated for them just hit the nail on the head. ^^
I love to do that for my gf.

Also, them promising to let each other try the other's inflatable is something I really like about this kink. This comparing and sharing of the different toys is like playing with trading cards or something, really fun!
I think that part was a pretty neat depiction of how a conversation of friends who share the kink would go.
Like gossiping about the latest trends inside the fetish community.

Only thing that was missing was the "have you heard about the toy manufacturer x is going to release soon?"
Then it would have been like real life xD

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 35

It had been a very interesting trip to the costume shop. I must confess I'd never visited one quite like that in person, and the outfits on display made my eyes go wide in amazement. There were so many of them in wildly different styles I could hardly believe they were all collected in one place. I think the whole family felt about the same, except Kim who'd done more online browsing than could possibly be good for her. She'd never ventured into this one before though, for fear of either getting lost or spending far too much money.
I wondered if the friendly shopgirl asking if she could help had chosen her attire herself or if it was some kind of uniform. Maybe it was just mandated they dress up in some way. I think she was supposed to be some anime character, but beyond that I had absolutely no clue.
Kim spoke up. "Yeah, I'm looking for superhero stuff?"
"You've come to the right place! Wait - you're Kimber, aren't you? 'On the Air'?"
"Guilty as charged."
The assistant lit up. "Oh wow! My boyfriend loves your show - he's a trivia nut and says it a great way to get some! I like it too, of course", she added.
"Oh, thanks!" Kim hiked a thumb at me. "She writes it though."
"Cool! Then you must be 'Sweet Cheeks' and Crystal Mackenzie - not often we get celebs in here."
"Guess we're known to some crowds at least", Kriss admitted.
"But back to superhero costumes - is it for the show?" When Kim nodded, she went on. "This way then. We have quite a few, anyone in particular you'd like to be?"
"I wanna do some serious browsing but I'm not leaving without at least one full outfit. I'm sure you can help."
That she could, and we were shown a wide array of recognizable looks. I could even put names to some of them.
Kim had soon found two simple starters - Supergirl and Batgirl. She passed on the TV-inspired look for the former, instead opting for a brighter, shinier and more cartoony version. The red cape and boots along with the chest emblem really made it pop. For Batgirl there was only one type of suit, but it was striking enough - blueish black with boots, belt, gloves and cape lining in yellow. It would take a bit of brushwork to fit the cowl over Kim's hair, but no worse than with any of the wigs she'd worn. We promised to be back for more if 'Superheroine Sundays' proved a hit and the girl said she was sure it would. I said her boyfriend was more than welcome to drop us a line if he had any suggestions on what to talk about and was told "more than can be mentioned". Which was kinda promising since new ideas were always tricky.
Back on the sidewalk the driver of a car passing at a leisurely pace gave us a honk and a thumbs-up. As it continued down the street the reason became clear as it was sporting the first of our decals I'd seen in the wild.
"Seems you're getting famous, kitten", I said.
"Yeah", Kriss chimed in. "Maybe soon you'll be the face of the family."
God, how I love hearing any of the others use that word. But that aside, no recognition for months and then twice in one day - funny how random life can be. Might be months before it happened again, if ever.
Random or not, it sure made Kim eager to make the next episode. But first we had to scour various stores and toy shops for balloons with the Superman 'S' on them. Either we were in luck or they were more popular than I'd thought since it only took three stops, leaving us plenty of time for some regular shopping. After all, we do have lives outside the studios.

The next morning Kim breezed into the kitchen in full costume, stating she was ready to go when I was.
"Sure, if you know everything you want to say. I've only outlined the script."
That earned me a super-pout, but what did she expect? I don't have any special writing powers. Regardless, she had studied a little and pointed out stuff she felt I could skip. So we were kind of winging it, but no matter. The Wonder Woman episode had taught me every little mistake or simplification would be thoroughly corrected in the comments anyway. And the main point of 'Superheroine Sunday' wasn't to educate the viewers but showing off Kimmy in character. Crass, maybe, but I didn't foresee many complaints.
By lunch I'd written about as much as I felt needed and spent until coffeetime rehearsing it with Kim, trimming as we went. Then I was ready to go, but of course she had to put the suit back on because she's not quite silly enough to walk around wearing it for that long.
She was very pretty in it though, and could easily star in any fan-level production. First off we (or Kim, really) prepared the studio by blowing up a multitude of balloons with the same logo displayed on her chest. It didn't expand quite as much as the ones printed on latex, but it did stretch out notably on every inhale. The material of the top had a slight gloss and fit tightly around her torso, though the short red skirt flared out a bit.
As I’ve said before, Kim had always shown remarkable restraint inflating her studio decorations. It would be so easy for her to fall back on the old stage manners and do it in a suggestive and sensual way, but there was nothing provocative about it at all - just a content creator getting ready for her next update. Which in a way made it even more alluring, at least if you knew that she knew. And with such a wholesome character as Supergirl doing the blowing, it was even more so. The best part for me was how content and full of anticipation Kimmy looked as she tied off every loon and stuck it to the wall with dual-sided tape.
She finished the job, brushed her hair one last time and added some more lipstick for the painted look. Then she sat down to start reading out the just-completed script.
"Most of us are familiar with Superman - 'The Man of Steel' - an alien from the planet Krypton with remarkable powers, fighting evil while pretending to be a regular human named Clark Kent. But did you know he has a cousin? Another survivor of their home planet's destruction, she too ended up on Earth and gained the same powers he did from living under a yellow sun. Naturally she too got a nickname - Supergirl, 'The Maiden of Steel'. Comic book writers back then had quite an imagination, right?"
I figured it was just a good way to save time and effort, since if you knew what one could do you didn't have to read up on the other.
"She first appeared in 'Action Comics' in 1959, twenty-one years after her cousin. The first explanation - bear with me, it gets complicated and I'm just trying to make it easy on myself - was she came from a fragment of the planet that had survived its explosion but was sent to Earth to escape another disaster, since her parents somehow knew she had a living relative there to care for her. Though her real name is Kara, she called herself Linda Lee and pretended to live at an orphanage while secretly learning to control her new powers. She was then adopted by the Danvers', becoming Linda Lee Danvers."
Kim went on to explain she didn't just keep acquiring powers and names but a number of animal friends as well, pets that conveniently somehow also came from Krypton and thus had super powers on Earth. Krypto the dog, Streaky the cat and even Beppo the monkey. It was a different age in comics.
"She also had a horse called Comet, who was really a centaur and sometimes a human. Every form had a crush on Kara, which must have made riding him an awkward affair."
As I understood it, the human dated her but she wasn't aware her horse was the same person. Standard soap opera stuff, right?
"I've mentioned powers a few times - let's see what they are? Apart from being super strong, almost invulnerable and able to fly, she also has x-ray vision that can be focused into heat beams shooting from her eyes. She can hear things from really far away, even frequencies humans can't pick up. And her lungs are strong enough to hold her breath indefinitely, both underwater and in space, and she can blow it out hard enough to put out fires or even freeze things."
We didn't mention it would be a handy skill for Kimber to have. After all, those who knew, knew.
"She's immune to most diseases and radiation, with one exception - the big weakness of both Supergirl and her cousin. Kryptonite - a mineral from their homeworld that weakens and eventually kills kryptonians. It's usually green but there are many color variants with different effects, often harmful in some way. Magic is another thing Supergirl has problems handling, depending on the story."
Kim briefly went through the heroine's rather nondescript early career, including her friendship with Lena Thorul (sister of Superman's nemesis Lex Luthor) and her clashes with Lesla-Lar - yet another surviving kryptonian. There seemed no end to those.
"Finally, in 1985, DC decided that enough was enough and killed off Supergirl along with every Krypton refugee except Superman in an issue of 'Crisis on Infinite Earths'. This lasted until 2004 when she was brought back - now as Superman's older cousin who thanks to delays in the flight arrived long after he was all grown up. As she hasn't learned holding back like he has, she sometimes seems stronger than him."
Kimber admitted to not being able to keep track of all turns and changes, especially since another superheroine - Power Girl - simply is the Supergirl of another dimension. She mentioned the failed 1984 movie and the very successful 2015 TV show, adding that in the newest incarnation of 'DC Super Hero Girls' Supergirl plays the 'dumb jock' part - a fun twist.
"But across all versions, Supergirl is essentially an idealistic, upbeat character who always tries to help others and fight injustice. Say what you will about her, but there are worse role models!"
Kim nodded to mark the end. "I hope you've enjoyed my first Superheroine Sunday - be sure to let me know if I should do more or hang up the cape for good!"
It hadn't been too bad, I thought, not for a rush job at least, and to simulate one of those super powers we'd decided to use some camera trickery for the subscriber clip. Holding absolutely still, Kim blew up a nice yellow balloon until it popped as per usual - but since she didn't move and only inhaled very carefully through her nose we could edit out every frame of non-blowing, making it appear she inflated the whole thing with a single puff. It was quite easy getting the cheeks to match as she made them bulge out to the limit before letting any fresh air into the balloon, though I'd have to lift a sound bite off the net to make a continuous whooshing.
Sure, it wasn't a hundred percent clean but close enough for what we were going for. The loon eventually vanished with a bang and Kim blinked stupidly at the burst rubber between her fingers. Then she turned to the viewers.
"Well, now you know why they never ask me to help blow up balloons for parties."

As I had no idea how to draw in eye beams Kim simply pin-popped the decorations, but I sped it up to a ridiculous degree to make her appear super-quick. We had a good laugh at the result, if nothing else. And naturally her stint in costume ended with an epic fight in the fun-geon where she took on three opponents at once. She both lost and won, depending on perspective.
The comments expounded a lot on our meagre material and I can't say it made me any wiser since every aspect of the character seemed to have been invalidated and revalidated at least once. Apropos the subscriber exclusive we were told there was an old comic where a bunch of captive young ladies (including the Maiden of Steel) were forced to blow up balloons for no particular reason except entertaining a petty tyrant. I'm pretty sure whoever wrote that had some kind of special interest in the subject.
"Too bad they'd never film that", Kim said. "Would attract some new viewers for sure."
"And turn regulars off. That's a bit too silly."
"Three words. Beppo the super-monkey."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be in any films either, but both were good examples of how comic books used to be. I'd personally take silliness over angst any day.

As for what Kim's former castmates planned, time did indeed tell - it hadn't been more than a couple of days before Carrie sent over a huge folder of videos. Vanita, her favorite person, had also produced an episode - no doubt spurred on by her red-headed wife. But let's start with Mrs. Caroline O'Shea-Naran. She had dragged a table in front of the fireplace and cozy flames were flickering in the background. The mantlepiece was hung with Union Jack-printed balloons to hint we weren't in Kansas (or rather, Nevada) anymore and above them a crossed pair of mylar knife and fork, since the subject turned out to be pub grub.
We got to hear about various light dishes served in different countries, the histories of some of them, and the interesting workaround wherever liquor wasn't allowed to be served except along with food. Usually that involved the same sandwich being recycled and resold to each patron. I found the subject pretty interesting since I personally haven't even looked at a bar menu since I got food poisoning from a nacho platter. That was a fun week.
Anyway, the moment the narrator appeared I was again struck with serious hair envy - while those ladies had always known a thing or two about styling, getting a formal license and opening a salon had made them pretty keen on keeping up appearances in that department and Carrie's wavy tresses were so neatly arranged I decided on getting a local appointment as soon as possible. She wore a casual but elegant green tunic that despite its looseness hinted at the hidden curves, and she could easily have hosted some rather impressive home improvement segment while inflating her decorations. As it was, that was just a bonus video.
The other extra was far less serious, starting off with Carrie warning the viewers against overeating, "no matter how grand it tastes".
To illustrate, she took out a big orange loon and blew it up enough to give it shape and then some. It looked like a 16-incher, at least from what you could see before she stuffed it down her top. The pinched neck was all that stuck out above and she tilted her head forward and puffed until the fabric was stretched taut over the freshly inflated body. She held the mouthpiece with both hands and made her cheeks bulge out with air as much as she could, looking a bit like a hamster stuffing its face with food. There was a noticeable creak on the final blow, and having filled up Carrie turned back to the camera.
"It's ok to eat until you're full, but you should stop when it feels uncomfortable."
She blew in a couple of more breaths and the creaking grew louder, the long tunic starting to hitch up. Had it been a regular tee it would be riding atop her balloon belly by now.
"Otherwise yer tummy will protest, and maybe even hurt."
Another few big exhales made the top rise enough to expose the shiny latex, which had been forced out of shape by the garment and now stuck out a couple of inches below.
"And if yer not careful, you might..."
She drew in an enormous, shrill and loud gasp which she blew into the balloon with more force than you'd expect possible, and that was too much for it. With a dull boom, her clothes returned to their intended shape. Carrie grinned mischievously at the viewers.
"...pop!"
She threw the rubbery remains away. "Ooorr maybe not, but you get the point. Eat and drink in moderation, okay?"
Nita's segment was a perfect pendant to the previous one, what with her being very visibly pregnant and all. It was obvious she'd chosen a top (a half-sleeved number with a zebra pattern in dark pinks and reds) that would emphasize the fact - she looked wonderfully inflated herself. I suppose expecting twins does that to a girl.
Behind her the Union Jack balloons had been replaced with identical ones which the trained eye could immediately tell had been blown up significantly more (and for doubters there was a preparation video to prove it). While the necks weren't full they were there, and the round parts were big enough to touch each other. There'd been some space between the previous ones. I recognized it as a sign of our Indian princess at work - none of the other Angels had enjoyed blowing as much as her. Another tell was the jolly fat man where the knife and fork had been - he too was mylar, and looking fit to burst with either laughter or air. The printed hands on his belly might be for keeping the pressure in as much as the mirth. The usual crinkles around the seams had been blown almost fully out of existence.
Below him sat Nita, her beautiful features arranged in an inviting smile. As she began to speak I was reminded of just how nice a voice she's always had, amplified by her posh-sounding British accent.
"Hello! I'm Vanita - pleased to meet you. As you can probably see, I'm in the family way at the moment. Hard to miss, really. People joke I look fit to explode. I promise I won't do that, but I thought I'd talk a bit about the notion that humans actually can. It's usually spoken of as a result of overeating, but even in that case it would be an internal thing, not a full-body detonation."
She went on to clarify she wasn't referring to being blown up by gunpowder or anything like that.
"One would think it's a fairly modern concept, but I've heard about folk tales where people burst from stuffing themselves. They were obviously meant to caution against gluttony, but there are some noted instances of humans exploding – fortunately post-mortem.”
I caught myself leaning forward in my seat. This promised to be interesting.
“Remember a chap called William the Conqueror? He used to be a big deal a thousand years ago - and in the end, just big. See, after he died there were some delays in moving his remains to the church where he was to be buried, and since refrigerated transports wouldn’t be invented for a few centuries, the things that happen to the bodies of kings and commoners alike did indeed happen. In short – William was full of gas. In fact, so bloated he didn’t fit into his stone sarcophagus, and when the monks tried to force the lid shut anyway the great conqueror burst. Records tell of the church being cleared out with some haste, so you can say he raised a stink at his funeral.”
Nita told us to not feel sorry for him as he’d been a most cruel and unpopular regent, though he might have remedied the latter at the last.
“More or less the same thing is said to have happened to another tyrant, King Henry the Eight - you know, the one with the habit of beheading his wives. His funeral procession stopped overnight at Syon House only to discover in the morning that their passenger had made a bit of a mess in the carriage.”
Served him right, I thought, only it would have been better if he’d popped on the throne during his coronation.
“It rather appears these things tend to happen to unpleasant people. You may think it’s something that would only occur in less advanced ages, but the most recent example I know of is from as late as 1958. That year Pope Pius the Twelfth passed away - who was known as ‘The Nazi’s Pope’ for his actions or inactions during the war. What he did or did not do is up for debate, but what’s for certain is that his personal physician was an insufferable quack. He’d persuaded the pontiff to let him use a ‘natural’ embalming method of his own devising, one supposedly better than any of the commonly used alternatives.”
Gotta hand it to Nita – her writing style was at least as contrived as mine at my worst. Though it did fit her manner of speaking quite nicely.
“What he did in preparing the body for burial could well make up a list of what not to do. As a result, putrefaction set in almost at once and as Pope Pius was ceremonially carted from his castle residence towards Rome there was a loud bang from the coffin.”
I collapsed with laughter from the thought of the poor driver hoping like hell it was a flat tire before remembering he had wooden wheels and abandoning all hope.
“The funeral was a fiasco and the doctor made history by becoming the only person to ever be banished from Vatican City.”
Of things that could cause that, exploding the pope would be high on the list. I wondered if Nita had been aware of the incident when she did the nun skit with Tessa. Probably not or they’d worked it in.
“But otherwise the human body is quite resilient. One of the most common misconceptions is that it will blow up in a vacuum, like that of outer space. Now, science tells us that’s patently untrue – it would undoubtedly be fatal, but not in that manner. Blame fiction for perpetrating the myth – one of the worst offenders might be the Sean Connery movie ‘Outland’ where heads and bodies explode left and right from exposure to that."
As it has the potential to be a gruesome sight it’s often employed for horror in filmed entertainment, Nita said, and that she personally preferred when it was done for comic effect - listing a few such scenes. I remembered the goon being burst with a water hose in 'Naked Gun 2½' and Mr. Creosote in 'The Meaning of Life' - gross and funny at once. And of course the Bond villain we'd laughed at earlier. Cartoons proved a plentiful source, but it didn't seem quite as common as I'd imagined.
"So in closing, let's be grateful it isn't a common occurrence. While it's still naughty to place a thumbtack on your teacher's chair, he's only likely to burst into rage. That said, I'm going to pop off for now."
What happened next must have been one hundred percent Carrie's idea and I have to admit I jumped. There was a completely unexpected bang as Nita vanished in a small shower of magenta-colored rubber pieces and the screen faded to black. Having done that to Kim already I knew they'd replaced her with a big balloon and cut away everything between the last line and the pop. Simple but effective.

Vanita was perfectly fine though, as proven by the next vid where she appeared against the same backdrop but now at a wider view with more of the room and all of her legs visible.
"As I said before, actual explosions are rare but buildups hinting at that are much more common. I'm of course talking about special effects showing people puff up into extreme fatness, either from overeating or some other cause - be it chemical, magical or simply filling up with air. It's almost always played for comedy, as it indeed looks funny. The absurdity helps too."
She ran a hand over her belly. "Now, this isn't quite enough to qualify so I have to resort to other measures for a demonstration."
She turned around slightly to gingerly pluck something white and floppy from the mantelpiece. As Nita made no attempt to conceal it and frankly took care to hold the limp object the right way it wasn't hard to identify. It was an extra-fat doll balloon with a rather off-putting clown print. Many of that model goes for length - this one had been made for girth, which could be seen even as it hung from her fingers. And yet it was about ten inches long. Good thing they'd moved the camera.
"I'm going to indulge in a bit of harmless body inflation - that is, harmless to everyone except this chap, should he happen to burst. But that shouldn't be necessary. Shall we see how big he blows up?"
With that she brought the latex to her lips and began to inflate it. At first it just swelled out a little at the thickest part, but soon the rounded torso was growing in every direction with the printed outlines following suit. As Vanita blew it up her incredible cheeks expanded fully and completed her overinflated appearance. She's got the most amazingly stretchy face I've ever seen - and I'm mated to Kriss and Lex. She puts them both to shame, if not by much.
The latex clown ballooned out too, and if you looked for it you could clearly see how much Nita loves to blow. In the circumstances it seemed almost sadistic as it might be understood she intended to explode the poor toy, no matter what she’d said. Her ballooning belly went amazingly with the job - it looked like someone had blown her up specifically for the task and now she was paying it forward. The tight, shiny black leggings only added to the impression, like they'd pushed most of the air up into her upper body.
Despite the huge breaths she sent whooshing into rubber Nita didn't seem to exert herself at all. She was an experienced blower and her present condition apparently had no effect on that. Then again, what else could you expect from someone who'd had business cards printed listing her occupation as 'inflatress'? Even if they were a sort-of joke the title was more than justified and I watched with professional approval.
Now the balloon bozo was as big as it could safely get - that is, enormous. But Vanita paid that no heed and kept blowing like there was no limit to his stretchability. Naturally there was, as she soon found out. With a deep boom the clown exploded and she looked over what was left in her hand before dropping it to the floor.
"I might have told a lie. It pretty much was necessary if we were to see how far he'd go. I can tell you right now at least part of him went all the way to the door." She pointed off-camera.
"What do you think? Did it fit the theme all right? I suppose some of you expected me to just finish this fellow off, so I'd better do that too."
She took down the mylar man and grabbed a straw off the mantelpiece. Then she stuck it right where Uncle Sam had gotten it from Kim, squeezed the foil tight around the tube and blew hard into it. Since the balloon was already filled to the limit it just took a single but long and strong breath to burst it and the inflatress looked very satisfied with that. She glanced at the remaining loons.
"I should probably get rid of these too, but maybe not just yet. Cheerio!"
A neat wave of her hand ended the clip. Next up was her doing what she'd just mentioned, primly pin popping the whole row, followed by a scene of Carrie taking a real fork to her decorations, including the inflatable cutlery. They'd also included vids of them preparing for the shoots, a couple of pleasant but otherwise unremarkable inflation sessions. An unintended btp by the redhead stood out, though.

A final clip was marked 'Not for public use!' I was curious if it was something lewd, but it turned out to be banned for another reason.
A vaguely human-like figure stood in the middle of the room - or maybe I should say hung, since it was clearly suspended from the ceiling. While the feet touched the ground you could see the strings holding it up, especially as they raised the shoulders of the trench coat. Did I mention it wore one? Because it did. The head poking out of the collar was not a head at all but a pink balloon with a horrific face painted on. It wasn't frightening, just terribly bad. I say painted because I've never seen white markers and the toothy, maniacal grin had that color.
The eyes were just large black dots and the nose a simple J shape. A tweed cap sat on top of it and I wondered if the loon had been inflated inside it to make the fit tight enough. A glance at the shoes showed they were empty but had been tied to the knots of long, thick balloons poking out of the trouser legs. I couldn't tell if the coat sleeves were similarly stuffed because they terminated in barely inflated household gloves, but it would be a pretty safe bet. The shoddy, suspicious clothing put you in mind of the stereotypical flasher and I held back a chuckle at the realization those dames might just have invented the inflatable pervert. I hoped it wouldn't be put into production anytime soon.
The whole thing was comically hideous, and knowing they could easily afford something more convincing made it all the funnier.
Nita dutifully knelt in front of the effigy and pulled out the long neck of a punchball from a gap in the coat. Alex nearly choked on her coffee as Kim exclaimed "No fuckin' way!".
Kriss was in no shape to say anything. She was struggling too hard keeping the laughter in.
Then the Indian beauty began to blow into the protuberance and the whole scene went from vaguely suggestive to outright indecent. The coat gained more and more shape as she kept puffing and soon the figure was less gaunt than pot-bellied. There was nothing wrong with Vanita's inflation work except the context so I imagined she was closing her eyes out of embarrassment. Impressively, she stuck to the job even though she must have known what it would look like.
It was bad enough as it was, but as the neck filled up it pushed the balloon man backwards and now it looked like it was bending over with a thick pink phallus going straight into Nita's mouth. Kriss was pounding the couch, howling with laughter, and I was not far from joining her. I couldn't stop giggling. And Vanita didn't stop blowing. The neck filled out more and more, grew longer and thicker and took on that distended shape those always get when the bulb in the middle inflates. The huge, unseen balloon strained against the brown coat and it was only a matter of time before it would burst, but I savored the hilarious spectacle as long as I could.
POP went the punchball and a couple of moments later the rest of the figure fell to the floor - far too late to give an impression of cause and effect. You could see the dropped string trailing it and worse, hear a badly contained offscreen laugh. Poor Nita gave the camera a bewildered look and there the clip ended rather abruptly. Kim demanded a rewatch.
"Couldn't see through these" she said, wiping tears from her cheeks.
Alex was shaking in her seat, the occasional twitch showing her inner fight. Suddenly she lost it and burst into the girliest laugh you'd ever hear.
"That was the worst balloon video ever! Or the best, I'm not sure."
It certainly was something. But having checked out everything they sent called for a call to the perpetrators, who were beyond curious to hear what we thought of their presentations. We were of course duly impressed and promised to put them to good use. I asked Nita if she wanted the clown scene to be a members-only thing or simply a subscriber upload.
“I had so much fun doing it that never crossed my mind. I thought of using a blow-up doll but that would've been a little too conspicuous."
“Bet the viewers would have loved that, though”, Kriss said.
Some of them, at least. One viewer had basically begged Kimber to blow the dolls from the advanced lesson to pop. Which would have been a valid suggestion if he hadn't wanted her to do it in the nude.
“Oh, definitely”, Nita laughed. “Just put it wherever you place Cee’s belly bursting.”
I decided the subscribers could have a jumbo balloon just this once. After all, it was informational too, and if people got that for free they might understand just what could be had by joining. One thing members wouldn’t see though was the clip we’d been asked not to share.
"So", I said. "Let's talk about the trenchcoat...thing."
Vanita looked vaguely ashamed. "I want to make clear I only did it to indulge her."
"Oh?" Carrie grinned. "So you're saying you didn't help making the guy?"
"You assembled the parts. I just blew them up."
I nodded. "Sorry, but that's a clear case of aiding and abetting."
Kim wondered how they handled leftovers. "So what happened to the rest of your victim?"
"Cee burst him piece by piece."
Carrie looked pleased at the memory. "Too bad it wasn't Fifth of November or I'd tossed him on a bonfire!"
An exploding Guy Fawkes wouldn't quite be historically accurate but pretty damned funny. We spoke at some length about everyday life in our respective corners and then I went on to sort the vids for future uploads. On a whim I decided to test them out on Elizabeth right away as a personal favor. Caroline was after all her best frenemy in the whole world.
Betty was incredulous, starting her call with a question.
"They got to do one each?"
Mandy tried mediating. "It's ok, Liz. Not like I can do a solo show at the moment."
She patted her belly and the coin dropped.
"You too?"
"Yep! All knocked up!"
We'd known they'd planned to at some point, of course, but so soon was a surprise. I guess they didn't want the Londoners to get too much of a head start. The prerequisite squeeing and congratulations broke out - I'm sure you'd rather be spared that bit. And if you want to know where they got the genetic material you'll have to ask them yourself - that's beyond the scope of this tale.
‘Due in December’ was the only relevant part, since it made Kim clap her hands. "Just like me!"
No wonder you couldn't tell just from looking yet.
Apart from the brief envy the vids were much appreciated and it sorta pained me to miss Betty's reaction to Carrie's attempt at a balloon man. The mastermind herself might show her at some point but then I wouldn't be around, more's the pity. And the Texan wasn’t too disappointed as she rounded off with a helpful remark:
"Give us a holler if you need another sick day, ya hear? I've got a few ideas."
I was sure she had – the question was whether I should worry or not.

***

Author's note: Odd as it may seem, I did NOT make up the part about that balloon scene in an old Supergirl story. Check 'Adventure Comics´#394 - or click this link for the most relevant page.

https://i.imgur.com/FuuqdY1.jpg

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 36

A mere day after receiving the overseas contribution we got some recordings from New York City, where Mariko and Teresa still lived. With the sci-fi novella still fresh in my mind it felt almost serendipitous Riko had worked along the same lines, although with a far stronger connection to the original. She had let her love of dressing up run wild and recreated her appearance as Empress Minge from the theater, talking a bit about science fiction costumes from the past. She didn't wear flowing robes or any impractical details like diagonal zippers - but a shiny purple bustier that gave her more curves than should be possible and a gaudy tiara that evoked the school play princess look. Nevertheless, there was no denying it was a sexy look on her. She'd put on some heavy makeup with black liner emphasizing her slightly slanted eyes, long thick lashes and dark red, almost purple lipstick to match her clothes. Her nails were similarly painted and pointed, making me suspect they were fake. They contributed to the overall impression though, something of a cross between dominatrix and cosplayer. The silver eyeshadow added an otherworldly touch and sweet, caring Mariko exuded an aura of menace that was totally alien to her true self. Not that a casual viewer would know.
A black bedsheet covered the back wall and was liberally sprinkled with what appeared to be white thumbtacks as stars. A couple balls of some kind hung from the ceiling and were evidently supposed to be planets or moons, neatly matching the production values of some of the older space flicks. Or any of our present-day skits.
Her presentation was a casual listing of looks that had passed for exotic in earlier days, from the near-nudity in 'John Carter of Mars' through the more chaste looks of the thirties, forties and fifties before going back to erotic with 'Barbarella' in the sixties. The uniforms of both 'Star Trek' and 'Star Wars' were mentioned along with the weird styles in 'Blade Runner'. Milla Jovovich's bandages (and all the other Gaultier creations) in 'The Fifth Element' were contrasted with the full-body leather of the 'Matrix' movies, and the clash between military and naturalistic getups in 'Avatar' was also brought up. The conclusion was that more commonly than not the outfits of female sci-fi characters were meant to titillate - even when they covered most everything, like the skin-tight lycra suits from TV's 'Buck Rogers'. When men wore as little it wasn't always successful, as evidenced by the mankini in 'Zardoz'.
"When the costumes aren't eye-catching they're usually militaristic, and sometimes both. Very few science fiction movies show everyday clothes - I guess it's part of making the setting look futuristic. But if you're into cosplaying, they're great for inspiration!"
Ree finished the segment and continued with a clip of her playing a saxophone cover of the 'Star Trek' theme, showing off skills honed for decades. No wonder she was still getting gigs, albeit not on a large scale. But speaking of scale, her third vid sort of related to that.
This time she walked on at enough of a distance to show all of her outfit, including the tiny, shiny hot pants matching the top and high-heeled black boots with details in the same color as the rest of the outfit. The smart money was on it having been bought as a matching set.
Her arms were crossed behind her back and she looked very stern and forbidding, which might have been a bit less impressive if you'd known how short she was. But there was nothing in the pic to give that away and she faced the camera with a haughty, superior expression.
"You know", she said, "how all those intergalactic tyrants are always threatening to blow up the Earth but never make good on the promise? I intend to."
A hand was brought into view to show what she'd been hiding - Riko had gotten hold of the same type of balloon we'd used in her act. I was impressed - they were not cheap. In return the printing was amazing, accurate light green continents on gorgeous azure latex. And big, too - twenty inches from pole to pole. Ree could inflate one just as fast as the rest, maybe even faster than some despite being the smallest of them all. Without further ado she lifted the printed latex to her lips and began blowing it up. As it stretched and swelled you could clearly make out the map of the world and I noticed she'd turned the Americas towards the viewers, as customary in U.S. movies. She supported the globe with both palms to show off her lips wrapping around the long, straight neck and the round cheeks behind them. And also to protect the thin rubber from her nails, I guessed.
The three-quarters view wasn't chosen at random - it was the most efficient one we'd found at the theater for catching the customers eyes. And it also allowed Ree to glance sideways at the watchers in a way that could be seen as both malicious and challenging, as if saying 'Come stop me, if you dare. Or just come.'
More and more air went into the beautiful balloon, turning it into something more than a mere decoration. Now it was a prop in a demonstration of power, all filled and still filling up with Riko's breath.
The villainess closed her eyes, the thick black lashes under the silvery lids showing her total indifference to the fate of the world. She kept blowing huge, long breaths into the ever-expanding globe, her cheeks puffing out in a both imposing and pretty manner. With lungs strong enough to burst a beachball, it was not a matter of if but when the rubber planet would explode.
While Kim had been forbidden to cause an earth-shattering kaboom, Ree was frankly expected to and did not disappoint. The pop was loud and dull and echoed against the walls as the balloon flew into bits magnificently, the remains spiraling through the air with less velocity than the noise would suggest.
"Pitiful", Riko sneered. "Maybe Jupiter will provide more of a challenge."
From just off-screen she produced an empty balloon that gave me an involuntary start. It would inflate into either five or six feet across, that much I knew, but at this angle and distance I couldn't say for sure. The only certainty was that the orange rubber would take up most of the space in that room when properly filled.
Alas, that wasn't to be. Ree tilted her head at it with a curious smile, then put it away.
"Another day, perhaps."
I could imagine the groans from the audience. She certainly hadn't lost the teasing touch. It also made the vid a definite candidate for the members section as it was a bit too nice to share with just any subscriber. They'd get the sax vid instead.

I'd half expected Tessa to make a video on dancing and put Kim in a sulk for a week. They'd had a friendly rivalry over being our premier hoofer and since 'On the Air' hadn't featured any steps for months I knew she'd get jealous and demand a full episode on the subject. Which she would have to write herself, since you know how limited my knowledge of that field is.
Luckily it wouldn't be necessary. The scene was a public park - maybe Prospect or McCarren, not that it mattered. The surroundings wasn't the main point anyway. The focus was on Tessa, who'd fixed about twenty colorful balloons to a thin plastic pole and gave off the impression of an old-time balloon vendor, if you could imagine one of those as a beautiful young lady in flared pants and a suede jacket over her casually unbuttoned blouse. Although that wasn't the eye-catching part. Right in the middle of the bunch a huge, bumpy 9-foot red balloon rose towards the sky, adorned with wavy stripes in white, yellow and blue. I wondered if she'd kept that stashed away as a memento of the theatre, since they were hard to come by already back then and downright impossible to get these days. Unless she'd found a second-hand seller with good storage facilities, of course.
The camera tracked her as she strolled along and told anyone who'd care to listen about how the parks and recreations in New York could look in the mid-1900's and compared it to the activities on offer these days. As she wasn't in character she spoke flawless english, except for the slight accent of a Brooklyn native. She took particular care to express that the huge latex cylinder was called a worker balloon, named for being used by vendors working the crowds to attract attention. Anyone wanting to buy one would receive a much smaller version, usually not even the size of a Slim Jim.
"So much for truth in advertising", she shrugged.
Her lecture was so flowing and on point I guessed it must be part of one of her walking tours, and sure enough, she finished with thanking the viewers for their time and was met with unseen applause. Whoever handled the camera turned around to show a small crowd of about twenty and then cut to a montage of Tessa answering questions and handing out the balloons to the few children present. She did keep the worker, though.
They'd included a video of her inflating the balloons - on location for easy transport and by mouth on general principle - including the worker. She paused to say that despite appearances they didn't get their moniker from needing a lot of work to blow up, "in fact, I've always found them pretty easy".
Tessa was telling the truth as far as I knew, but as she's only about 5'1" the long balloon appeared even larger than it was. I could tell at once she was only filling it up to a safe and recommended size, which wasn't in character either. I thought she wanted to minimize the risk of it popping during the talk as it must be at least a few years old, but it turned out she had something else in mind. In a final vid, she removed the clip that up to that point had kept the air in the worker and turned towards the camera.
"I'm sure you all want to know if this is as big as they get. Let me show you."
Then she began to blow in even more of her breath and the last segment of the balloon filled up completely, adding at least half a foot to the already impressive length. But of course she didn't stop there. Tessa was determined to display the utmost limits of the latex and kept inflating it beyond the rated size. I'd seen that before - one of her final acts on the stage had been blowing a similar loon to pop and that's probably when she appropriated a couple for private use. Well, the girls had been allowed to keep any leftovers but I'd thought all the workers had perished on closing night. There'd been a lot of assorted inflation and popping back then.
This was a bit more public though and I hoped the passers-by appreciated the free show. It was an imposing sight, the petite latina working the worker with all her might and yet making it seem almost effortless, her bulging cheeks nearly as shiny as the taut balloon in the sunlight. The whooshing of air going in mingled with assorted park noises and traffic could be heard faintly in the distance. I wondered how the inevitable pop would sound...and how it would affect her surroundings.
I didn't have to wait long. The tired old rubber burst with more of a snap than a bang, and although a couple of pieces went sailing through the air, most of the overstretched material recoiled back like a bungee cord to end up hanging limply from Tessa's lips. An offscreen gasp or two revealed the performance hadn't been quite solitary. She took the ruptured cylinder from her mouth.
"There you have it! I hope you've learned something new today."
I was certain more than one person had discovered just how sexy public balloon blowing can be. Tessa's impromptu inflation lesson should have been enough to make anyone look twice.
I decided to hand the channel subscribers the blow-to-pop as a gift, with the rest of the balloons and most of the worker a member exclusive. That would make the vids equal in number while giving people yet another incitement to join. It felt just a little mercenary, but since part of the idea was bringing in a little extra cash I couldn't very well ignore a chance at that. Besides, whatever it made would probably go towards getting the girls something nice in return.

Naturally we had to have a little long-distance chat about their content and the petite New Yorkers looked larger than life on the small screen. (Well, regular laptop-sized but you know what I mean). Riko was all smiles.
"I had a blast doing that again."
"So did the balloon", Kriss observed.
Tessa laughed. "For sure! And you should have seen the pigeons. Talk about blast off."
I shook my head in mock admonishment. "Disturbing the peace. For shame."
Kim disagreed. "Looked pretty shameless to me. But to see my old enemy up to her old tricks! I thought I'd pulled the plug on your operations."
Ree shrugged. "Since I saw you'd returned I thought I should too."
"Too bad I wasn't there to stop you."
"Your track record isn't spotless", Riko giggled.
I thought back to that night the Earth balloon had accidentally popped from her blowing. I'd told Kim to go 'Curses, foiled again!' if that ever happened and she did before stomping off in a huff. One of the regulars, who knew how it usually went, laughed even harder than Riko who managed to disguise her mirth as a villainous outburst of triumph - so I guess it wasn't the worst attempt at a save. The audience had gotten enough time to drool over her already, and that constant reaction to the sight was another reason to save the belated encore for paying customers.
"Hey, can I help you messed up?" Kim said. "Least you weren't supposed to fail this time."
"Though that was the second take", Riko admitted. "Those fake claws burst the first ahead of time."
Kim lit up. "Didya save the recording? Would be great for the bloopers."
"Of course. You might have to bleep it though."
I'd frequently teamed those two together on the stage as they played off each other so well and it would have been awesome to pair them up for an episode of this show too. Sadly, there were a few too many miles in between. At least we could meet whenever I went back to visit my folks.
Tessa said she'd take us on any or all of her walks if we stopped by and I said in that case we were paying for lunch - regular socializing. I realized I'd more or less gotten out of touch with most of my older acquaintances, but then again, I hadn't had nearly as much fun with them. The Angels was a gift that had kept on giving and I hoped it would for many years to come.

That was four episodes we didn't have to worry about and if we spaced them out it would be more than enough to give us some vacation time. It turned out I wasn't the only one to appreciate the idea, and as we discussed what to do with it Kim looked like she was about to say something but changed her mind - a few times over. Eventually I straight up told her to just come out with her suggestion or wish, whatever it was.
"Well..." She faced Kriss and blurted it all out. "You've been to L.A. with both Cherry and Lex and I wanna go there with you too. Just us", she added.
Krissie smiled. "That's only fair. So, mind if I borrow your wife for a while?"
Lexi feigned seriousness. "Only if you promise to make love to her every night. Or day. Or both."
"What about mornings?" Kim asked.
Kriss pulled her onto her lap. "I'm sure that can be arranged. You OK with it, Chel?"
"'Course. On a couple of conditions. One, you're not taking a car there."
"Once was enough", Kriss chuckled and I agreed. That part of our honeymoon could have been better spent.
"And two, that you completely and utterly spoil her." I turned to Kim. "Make her take you to Rodeo Drive and not just for sightseeing. Buy something nice."
Kriss wouldn't need any reminders. She'd basically dragged me along though I won't precisely say it was unpleasant.
"Done and done"' she said. "We'll take the train, maybe even get a private compartment..."
Kim was already snuggled up against her neck with a smile that betrayed how much she'd like that. Lexi took my face in both hands and pressed her forehead against mine.
"Guess that means we could drive somewhere. Try out the new bed..."
The last time we'd parked out had seen the end of the inflatable backseat and I had no regrets. Would do it again in an instant.
"Sounds good to me. Any ideas?"
"Why don't we go talk about it? In a private compartment of our own?"
As planning sessions go, that was one of the more enjoyable ones.

[ChillinHaze]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

The last two episodes were a neat change of pace with the other girls having a little spotlight. ^^ Also, worker balloons are something I never tied myself, yet. Are they similar to GLs?

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

In my personal experience, I'd say workers had way less 'give' than GL's - what with smaller diameter and those segments/ridges making for a more fixed shape. Then again, I was far too phobic to really put them through their paces, others surely could tell more about what they could and could not do! Real pretty to look at though, and watching one being inflated was always exceptionally nice.

[ChillinHaze]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Oh, I see. So they offer more resistance but are probably also more susceptible to pop on you when played with.

These days balloons ain't often used by me and my girlfriend since we like to play together and most balloons just don't fare well with two people. That's why we only use GLs.
I guess we are just too used to our inflatables having no problem to accommodate us both. ^^'