Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

[Azurefox]

Hi. I'm glad this forum still exists. Been a long time since I posted here but it's nice to hear insight from my peers here. So let me share a story:

I was accompanying a couple of friends in a mall a couple of months ago. What happened was while we were walking in the main passageways, right before walking past the party store a guy walked out of the store straight in front of me with a load of 16" helium balloons.

I am someone who is very embarrassed about the idea of being seen with balloons (I don't know if it's because my stubborn persona or the unconscious fear of being outed for being turned on). It doesn't help that I tell people that I'm terrified by the idea of them popping (which is 100% true and the reason I abhorr the idea of deliberately popping them).

Digressing, I let out this quiet undeliberate "ah" sound and couldn't help grinning and briefly stealing a glance at the floating, plump jewels (the party store was quite clearly not stingy with helium). Put in another way, I'm a grown man that damn well nearly fangirl squealed with a stupid look on my face. One friend, whom I told before that I'm terrified, noticed giggled a bit. The other commented that they thought I hated balloons. I immediately played it off by saying I was just lost in my own world and thought of something funny.

I'm kicking myself still for playing it off like that. I have no desire for anyone knowing about the kink part of it but I realized that I want really want to be more open about at least liking them. To be able to at least say "yeah, I think they're awesome" to even asking someone giving them out for one even with people I know around.

Anyone else going through this? Any ideas, thoughts, or suggestions? Maybe I care too much about what people think....

I don't need or want anyone knowing about the kink side of it. But part of me phantasizes about being unrestricted about asking for a balloon in public or interacting with them at all with people I know around. I didn't care at all before but my recent automatic reaction was kind of a self-discovery.

[AJK64]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

I used to feel exactly the same way. I was embarrassed and awkward around balloons in public. I even got scared buying uniflated balloons when I was alone, in case the shop assistant wondered why an adult was buying balloons, or even worse they somehow guessed that the balloons turned me on. How old are you, because my embarrassment seemed to fade as I got older. By my late 20s I stopped caring about people thinking it was childish to enjoy balloons (although I would still hate my friends to know about the fetish side of it). I think the only way to get past the fear is to tell your friends that you are trying to get over your fear, and that although the thought of them bursting still worries you, you like the way they look. Or something similar.

[Azurefox]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

Thanks for replying. I'm in my mid 30s lol. Unfortunately, I also had a parent that used to reinforce "you're too old for this, people are going to make fun of you" (apparently I was too old to be playing Pokemon games at one point too.)

100% not trying to blame them because ultimately I'm an adult and have to deal with my own feelings but it definitely doesn't help.

[Loonorm]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

I am in my mid-50s, and yes, I still am a little embarrassed when I purchase balloons, both inflated, and uninflated. It’s sometimes even more embarrassing when I get them off of FB Marketplace. One way that I overcome the embarrassment is by going to places that are outside of my neighborhood, and know that I might never go back to again. This way, the chances of running into someone you know is slim to none. With my part-time job being around balloons, my boss actually supports the idea that I love balloons. She always gives me used garlands and arches that, otherwise, will be popped. Yes, she knows that I will pop them myself, but she knows that I will ‘have fun’ doing so. As a side note…went to a party store a couple of months ago in Brookfield, a western suburb of Chicago. After making my purchase, the gal behind the counter asked me about my purchase. I don’t remember exactly what she asked, but one of her questions asked, was if I was purchasing the balloons for someone else. I asked her what she meant, and she said that there was someone who would come to the store and purchase balloons for ‘a friend’ because ‘the friend was too embarrassed to buy them, for themselves.

[Azurefox]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

When I used to work in Western Canada, I would also buy uninflated balloons outside my community. The shop attendant actually asked me once (because, although I didn't go there often, they must have recognized me). A co-worker also spotted me in the vicinity, but not going into that party store. This made me further paranoid about buying balloons.

Even worse, I ordered balloons online in my hometown once and they used a qualatex box to ship to the post office despite my delivery instructions requesting not to use supplier packaging. This really freaked me out.

In retrospect, being more open about liking balloons would alleviate some of these worries I believe. The supplier box upset me though. I would have a really hard time explaining that in a small town like that if someone noticed me collect that box. I don't like to lie about things, but just saying it was a random box used might work ��

[Chip67]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

I am 67 years old, and I use to get embarrased when I was younger. Now I enjoy walking around with a bunch of helium balloons or one 36" Helium Balloon, before I get in my car. I guess I am a Looner Voyeur of sorts. Of course, I am not in my town, I am usually a few towns away. I have walked around NYC, but it's not unusual to see this in NYC. I don't do it very often but it is a bit of a turn on.

[PMN985]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

I was embarrased in my late teens and early 20s, but then I had kids at 23, and I started decorating for holidays and parties regularly for the last 20+ years now I do it on the side, *(decorating), have done it with both Partners have been with in the last 24 years you know nobody really outside of them knows my kink, everyone just thinks I like decorating and I like party stores and I keep it at that

[ChefBoyjordee]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

I definitely can feel embarrassed about holding and being around balloons, but honestly, most people don't judge. I've done a similar thing, lying about hating balloons and popping (I just hate the popping), and it's actually been pretty incredible because of that. Maybe it's just my friend group, but they "prank" me all the time and give me tons of balloons and balloon garlands because they think it's going to bother me and freak me out. I have to stifle a grin as I walk or drive home with them. And if anyone asks, I can just tell the truth: "it's from a prank".

[Azurefox]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

I want to thank everyone for the great responses. I'm very happy to know that there are others that feel/felt the same way and their methods of coping.
I think what I'm going to try to do if there is a next time is just let prevent myself from flat out rejecting it and say it how it is. They make me feel awesome on the inside but I'm deathly terrified of the threat of popping when people I don't trust not to pop them are handling them (or if they are critically overinflated). Best case scenario, maybe people will start getting me balloons... Always wanted to get balloons on my birthday (even if it's mylar I guess but I don't feel anything special for mylar balloons. Sorry mylar fans ;p )

[Casey88]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

I used to think the same way about that, however I dont bother about that anymore. I visit the same mall almost daily since my gym is located inside the mall. And almost every weekend or so, there is always a promotional event that hands out balloons for free which I always take. I probably enconuter passing by the same people working at the mall, however I couldnt care less what they thought about seeing a well built mid 30s man walking around the mall holding inflated balloons heading towards the exit LOL.

[Loon119]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

Always used to worry when I was younger. The balloon shop woman always asked me what is a lad of your age doing with balloons and it was always in an offhand way. I stuttered out it was for a party and I always avoided her shop unless her daughter was beind the counter in which case I would go and buy whatever. Used to really worry what people used to think but as I've got older I guess I just don't care anymore. There are worse things I could be carrying around and to be honest if you look at people when you are walking around people are usually in their own world. Especially with phones these days most people are either in a rush somewhere, scrolling through social media or generally elsewhere in their minds. I have had a couple people look at my balloons and smile probably because they are bright and colourful. A couple of people who have even been smoking will move to the side to make sure their cigarettes don't accidentally pop my balloons. Once went to an event in Birmingham and they had massive balloons in excess of 20 inch they were handing out. Well I got two and onto a bus. Was not the most liked person because of the space they took up ��. People at my old job knew about my fear of balloons popping because we had them for the elderly I used to work in a care home. A couple of the ladies I worked with knew it was sexual and would actually save me balloons. Now my wife knows, a couple friends know and a couple family members know. But I don't worry really if anyone else knows, cares, etc etc

[Scooter]

Re: Restrictive embarrasment of balloons in general.

Ah, I know what you mean. My friends still don't know that I have any particular feelings or opinions about balloons. It's not that I think they'll react poorly or I'm ashamed to be into balloons or anything... I think it's because the fetish is so personal to me and my feelings are so complicated regarding them that it's harder for me to talk about.

As much as I'd like to bring a big bundle of helium balloons back to my place, it's a long walk back from the train station and the chances of me running into someone who knows me is pretty high, made worse by how eye-catching balloons can be. And even if one of them didn't suspect anything, I'd be so flustered being seen with them I think they'd probably catch on.

The idea of being seen with balloons is weirdly more embarrassing than them knowing about the fetish. I'd honestly prefer simply mentioning it in conversation if anyone asks me what I'm into than be seen actually interacting with them. Though word travels fast, so I'd have to be sure they could keep a secret.

[bubblesNdragons]

I'm a phobic non-popper and I told most of my peers that I have a balloon phobia. They'll expect only fearful reactions whenever I'm exposed to balloons and then raise an eyebrow whenever I react any other way. It's exhausting because I know my phobia would probably never go, but I don't want to constantly be THAT afraid of balloons. Heck, oftentimes I wish I could display more balloon-favorable reactions around some of my friends (not sexually ofc). But since I told most people about my phobia, I feel I have to actively hide any other reaction whenever possible.

I work at a McDonald's that frequently uses balloons and my coworkers are already perplexed by my behavior around balloons. Whenever anyone else is handling a balloon I get obviously anxious and may even run out of the restaurant, but there are days in which I feel the need to handle stray balloons that the previous shift forgot about and store them in the employee lounge for someone else to deal with once I clock out. My coworkers would say things like "I thought you were afraid of balloons," and "Are you faking it?" And the best responses I have are "Oh, it just comes and goes" and "It's part of my exposure therapy".

[lucid]

I can 100 percent echo what most of you have said here. In my teens and early 20's I was extremely nervous and timid when it came to buying balloons or interacting with them in any way. I still somehow managed to have a few awkward but memorable encounters with some female friends and coworkers. A few of them said things letting me know they were hip to my games lol. But none of them knew anything for sure. Looking back on it now, I see those incidents as failures or lost opportunities. In one case specifically, me and one of my good female friends was in the break room at work and she grabbed a helium balloon that was tied to the table and looked at me and said "you always want me to pop balloons when we have them at work, does this turn you on" smiling as she dug her nails into the balloon, causing that deep squeaking sound you hear right before a pop. I said "pffft no, why would that turn me on" lol. What a fucking idiot i was haha. But thats how self conscious i used to be about it.

I've thought about why most of us used to be this way but grew out of it, to varying degrees. The best i can come up with is, the older you get, the more you realize your time here is limited. And it's stupid to conduct yourself based on what another person thinks inside THEIR head. After all, they aren't conducting themselves based on how you think are they?

Once I had this realization, I went from absolutely zero people knowing. To almost everyone at least suspecting. All my female friends know and my close homies know. The rest suspect. Ill tell them openly if they ask.

I used to buy balloons at a local party shop. They sold 16inch qualatex polka dot balloons. After i went in there a few times, the two girls behind the counter asked me what the deal was. I told them it was for photography. Not technically a lie haha. After a few more stops in, they ask "what kind of photography exactly". I told them if they want to ask that question, they better be prepared for the answer. The younger of the two girls exclaims "I knew it"! Implying she knew it was for fetish content. They were both very interested in it and I believe it was a mother and daughter. So when the daughter said she could do that, her mom said "I don't think so, you've got a good enough job here". I thought, yeah you sure could do this haha. But I didn't want to be disrespectful to her mom, so I didn't press the issue.

Now. When I buy balloons or have to carry balloons, I hope someone does say something. I have a theory if a girl asks you about the balloons and you ask her something along the lines of "are you sure you want to know" if she would have been interested in you anyway, she'll say yes. If she wouldn't have been, she'll say no. Sometimes the balloons are just an excuse for them to come over and talk to you. Sometimes it's just out of curiosity. The majority of the public rarely sees balloons bigger than 12 inches. Sorry for the long ramble. I just think it's an interesting subject.

Concerning what other people think about you and your kink: the old saying goes. - those who matter dont mind. Those who mind don't matter.

[Kitten]

I used to be very nervous in public. I could never had gone into a shop and bought any. However, as I've been pushed to do public balloon stuff (with consent) my fear has dropped dramatically. Most people really don't care. And the ones that do are mostly just curious. I must admit, popping in public still makes me pretty nervous because the attention it gets, but I can do it if necessary now.
The first time my girlfriend blew a balloon in public, I kinda freaked out because I thought everyone would know its a kink. Turns out no one batted an eyelid.