Girlfriend ideas?

[justlooking192]

I 21m started dating my girlfriend 5 months ago, and about 3 months ago, after a few drinks she asked if I had any kinks. Originally I only gave her hints, I told her it was unusual but not in any way gross. After some convincing, she was able to get me to disclose my kink. She was understandably taken aback by this revelation, she told me she was not prepared for this. This reaction was in fact much better than my ex's, I noticed that girl was quite visibly disgusted when I told her. It was not long before she ended up dumping me, telling flat out the reason was my kink!

Later on, I asked what her thoughts were regarding the kink, and she told me she was open to indulging it but only if we thoroughly discussed it beforehand. She told me she doesn't know currently how we could possibly integrate it into our sex life. I am still a little embarrassed about it, so I did not discuss it further. I think she could very well find it stimulating to find how turned on I get from even simply inflating a balloon. I find it a little funny that the entire time she's been with me in my room, in the closet only a few feet away there's a large duffel bag filled with 36" balloons, 72", 24", loud pumps, you name it.

My questions are, what are some fun and stimulating activities that she can try with me as someone who has absolutely zero exposure to this nature of kink? I am a popper, and I love sitting on balloons, overinflating them, and bondage activities. I have strong fantasies about being tied up with a large balloon inflating in front of me.

[ThatOneLooner]

I wanna back up for a moment and ask why she would convince you to reveal your kink and then be shocked and surprised at your answer. Like, why are you asking this if you’re gonna be stunned by something that’s frankly as vanilla as balloons?

[DJ Looner]

I would suggest that you let the idea "inflate" in her imagination for a while. And instead, for now, you have a small victory. She obviously likes you enough to not walk away.
So now focus on her. Because I'll tell you that after being married for 18 years and together for 21 years with one woman. It took until just this last few months for my wife to really come out of her shell and find something we can do together that sends her to the moon EVERYTIME we are intimate. And it's not that I didn't try this years ago or encourage her to tell me anything we could do different. It's just the way some people are built.
So turn the table on her. Tell her "Hey so we talked about me and how easy it is for me to be turned on by you simply inflating a balloon, so how about you, women tend to be harder to turn on, What turns your gears?" And then focus on her. When you find that THING, there is no faking in the world that can replicate the moves a womens body will make when you get her to climax. If you show her that you have self control with your kink and can set it aside to focus all your attention on her eventually she will repay you.

After you start focusing on her start just leaving out a small balloon maybe with something written on it like you're cute, and then put your initials. Then maybe progress to just having a few balloons laying around, then maybe a large balloon inflated and out. But make it a fun time not as sexual. Have a ballon fight like a pillow fight, het her win. Might perk her attention back to you a little.

Focus on her, take it slow, have fun and Good luck.
~DJ

[lucid]

I agree with ThatOneLooner. That's kind of messed up she would ask you about your kinks and then clutch her pearls at your response lol.

I could be way off, but I do suspect that it may not be what you're saying that's getting you these responses, but how you're saying it. If you come off as shy, unsure, embarrassed or apprehensive, it's likely not going to go well for you. I love women, I truly do, but they're like wolves. They can smell fear and insecurity and they do not respect it. Whatever they believe YOU think about your fetish, is what they are going to think about your fetish. Basically, if you don't make it weird, it won't be weird. I understand how it is man, I've felt the same exact way you do and I know it IS scary becoming that vulnerable to another person especially a girl you like. But you cannot show this. Even if you're not confident, fake it until you dont have to fake it.

I'll have to respectfully disagree with DJ. I would not "start out small". I wouldn't drop hints or progress her into anything. I would tell her exactly what you like and why. Project this with total confidence as if you're telling her your favorite food. If she sees a progression towards "something" she could rightfully feel like she's being prepared or buttered up for something. She could even feel as if she's being manipulated. It's best to just be direct and tell her exactly what time it is.

It may sound counterintuitive to say, but I also wouldn't waste time trying to make your fetish pleasurable to her. Because it's not going to be. It isn't her thing, it's yours. I do wholeheartedly agree with DJ when he suggested that you talk to her in order to find out the type of things that she likes. Then, that is what you do to make things pleasurable to her.

It sounds like you're halfway there my bro. Just play your cards right and you're in for alot of fun and bonding with your girl. I personally wouldn't take no for an answer. Remember that it's just a fun and harmless kink. It isn't difficult nor is it demeaning to her in any way. Not saying you should force her to do anything lol. It's just a deal breaker for me. I'd walk in a heartbeat if my partner couldn't perform such a small gesture of acceptance and validation, especially In the one area that is unique to a romantic/sexual relationship.

In any case I wish you guys the best of luck and happiness my friend.

[LoudPop]

I agree with ThatOneLooner. That's kind of messed up she would ask you about your kinks and then clutch her pearls at your response lol.

I could be way off, but I do suspect that it may not be what you're saying that's getting you these responses, but how you're saying it. If you come off as shy, unsure, embarrassed or apprehensive, it's likely not going to go well for you. I love women, I truly do, but they're like wolves. They can smell fear and insecurity and they do not respect it. Whatever they believe YOU think about your fetish, is what they are going to think about your fetish. Basically, if you don't make it weird, it won't be weird. I understand how it is man, I've felt the same exact way you do and I know it IS scary becoming that vulnerable to another person especially a girl you like. But you cannot show this. Even if you're not confident, fake it until you dont have to fake it.

I'll have to respectfully disagree with DJ. I would not "start out small". I wouldn't drop hints or progress her into anything. I would tell her exactly what you like and why. Project this with total confidence as if you're telling her your favorite food. If she sees a progression towards "something" she could rightfully feel like she's being prepared or buttered up for something. She could even feel as if she's being manipulated. It's best to just be direct and tell her exactly what time it is.

It may sound counterintuitive to say, but I also wouldn't waste time trying to make your fetish pleasurable to her. Because it's not going to be. It isn't her thing, it's yours. I do wholeheartedly agree with DJ when he suggested that you talk to her in order to find out the type of things that she likes. Then, that is what you do to make things pleasurable to her.

It sounds like you're halfway there my bro. Just play your cards right and you're in for alot of fun and bonding with your girl. I personally wouldn't take no for an answer. Remember that it's just a fun and harmless kink. It isn't difficult nor is it demeaning to her in any way. Not saying you should force her to do anything lol. It's just a deal breaker for me. I'd walk in a heartbeat if my partner couldn't perform such a small gesture of acceptance and validation, especially In the one area that is unique to a romantic/sexual relationship.

In any case I wish you guys the best of luck and happiness my friend.

That's an interesting take on the situation and makes sense. You've got me thinking now. I'd be curious to hear some honest opinions from women on the forum?

[b0f0s0f]

I don't think her reaction was unreasonable. Just because she showed shock in the moment doesn't mean she's against it; most people are cautious about things they've never heard of before, so expecting a "great, let's get started!" response is not realistic.

I agree about the confidence thing, you can't make her feel like you're super ashamed of it. If you need to soften the blow, downplay the significance of the fetish a bit (e.g. how often you indulge in it in private, etc.) but be confident in it. If she is willing to indulge then you will slowly explore it more extensively, organically.

I do think you should be gentle with the introduction. I remember a story from someone on here where their girlfriend walked in on them in a very extreme situation, and was very put off. Like I said, being cautious or suspicious of unfamiliar behaviors is human nature, you can't expect her to go 0-60 in an instant. But you shouldn't hold back too much either. You've already got the hardest part out of the way, spilling the beans about it. The very first time she indulges you, I would just get some regular 12" balloons. Tell her "I like giant balloons normally, I will get some of those next," which gives her a heads up as to what's coming. Then just have her blow a few of the 12"ers up while you sit and watch, as pre-foreplay basically. Let things progress naturally. Don't push her too hard. From there, ramp up to the big balloons and stuff as her comfort permits. Starting off with balloons she's familiar with just gives an easier introduction so that she's not hit with too many new ideas all at once, and you can gauge her comfort level. If she's uncomfortable with it, you may have to go more slowly with the progression. But if she is uncomfortable, don't be defensive and feel ashamed/insecure; approach it as us vs. the problem, and have an open conversation about her comfort level and how she can become more comfortable with it.

[loonypirate20]

I don't think her reaction was unreasonable. Just because she showed shock in the moment doesn't mean she's against it; most people are cautious about things they've never heard of before, so expecting a "great, let's get started!" response is not realistic.

I agree about the confidence thing, you can't make her feel like you're super ashamed of it. If you need to soften the blow, downplay the significance of the fetish a bit (e.g. how often you indulge in it in private, etc.) but be confident in it. If she is willing to indulge then you will slowly explore it more extensively, organically.

I do think you should be gentle with the introduction. I remember a story from someone on here where their girlfriend walked in on them in a very extreme situation, and was very put off. Like I said, being cautious or suspicious of unfamiliar behaviors is human nature, you can't expect her to go 0-60 in an instant. But you shouldn't hold back too much either. You've already got the hardest part out of the way, spilling the beans about it. The very first time she indulges you, I would just get some regular 12" balloons. Tell her "I like giant balloons normally, I will get some of those next," which gives her a heads up as to what's coming. Then just have her blow a few of the 12"ers up while you sit and watch, as pre-foreplay basically. Let things progress naturally. Don't push her too hard. From there, ramp up to the big balloons and stuff as her comfort permits. Starting off with balloons she's familiar with just gives an easier introduction so that she's not hit with too many new ideas all at once, and you can gauge her comfort level. If she's uncomfortable with it, you may have to go more slowly with the progression. But if she is uncomfortable, don't be defensive and feel ashamed/insecure; approach it as us vs. the problem, and have an open conversation about her comfort level and how she can become more comfortable with it.

100% agree with this. This is exactly my experience with my fiancé. When I first introduced it, she was a bit shocked but generally accepting. We went at her pace and, after a few times where it was focused on me, I tried to focus on her. She had opportunities where she got to do whatever she wanted with the balloons and discover what she might enjoy about them. This included just batting them around, kissing them, bouncing, etc. And of course, this was every once in a while as we also split our time focused on her non-balloon kinks as well. We eventually brought in the bigger balloons, but she also just really likes the regular balloons she knows and is used to.

Some things we do include using them in foreplay (seeing her enjoy them does it for me) and inserting them into our favorite positions (easy to incorporate into Doggy or have one between us). Part of that is to show that the balloon is a turn on, not a replacement.

While it took a bit of time and patience, she now identifies as a looner and insists on using them any chance we get. It's always tempting to live out your fantasies as soon as you want, and that's totally fine. However, I think playing the long game might be more rewarding in the end.

[lucid]

That's an interesting take on the situation and makes sense. You've got me thinking now. I'd be curious to hear some honest opinions from women on the forum?

Hey Loud thanks for the reply. I always worry that when I say stuff like that I may be coming off as a bit of a "know it all" or sounding preachy, but it isn't my intent. I'm sure I probably dont know the half of it. It's just coming from my own personal experience. I've been on both sides of the issue before, so I know how bad rejection in this area sucks. Whenever I read posts like this one, asking for help or advice, I can't help but put myself in his place because I know exactly how he's feeling. I'm sure what I'm saying isn't foolproof, but from the time I changed my perspective, and started approaching things this way, it hasn't failed me yet. I would also add that he is in what I believe to be prime time to tell your partner this sort of thing. A couple weeks or a few months in is all a sure fire bet to work out good in my opinion. As long as it is navigated properly that is. It's also been my experience to wait until multiple years into my relationship to tell them and it didn't go well. Ironically after we broke up sometime later down the road she was just fine participating with me and even apologizing for not doing it sooner. This leads me to believe that the fetish itself was never the problem to begin with. I believe it was more the fact that we were set in our ways and people don't like change in general. Once a couple gets beyond the honeymoon phase of the relationship and are no longer trying to impress each other at every turn, your chances are going to go down in proportion to the time and overall condition of the relationship. I'm no expert, this is just what I've experienced and I've put alot of thought into it over the years.
sorry for the long winded posts lol. I'm just kinda passionate about things when I relate to them so well and I know rejection in this area is akin to legit psychological trauma. If I can help someone avoid this I'll try to blabber until I maybe say something useful lol. I would also love to hear some opinions of our female members on the issue. Hope everyone reading this has a good day.

[Tuftex_heart37]

I 21m started dating my girlfriend 5 months ago, and about 3 months ago, after a few drinks she asked if I had any kinks. Originally I only gave her hints, I told her it was unusual but not in any way gross. After some convincing, she was able to get me to disclose my kink. She was understandably taken aback by this revelation, she told me she was not prepared for this. This reaction was in fact much better than my ex's, I noticed that girl was quite visibly disgusted when I told her. It was not long before she ended up dumping me, telling flat out the reason was my kink!

Later on, I asked what her thoughts were regarding the kink, and she told me she was open to indulging it but only if we thoroughly discussed it beforehand. She told me she doesn't know currently how we could possibly integrate it into our sex life. I am still a little embarrassed about it, so I did not discuss it further. I think she could very well find it stimulating to find how turned on I get from even simply inflating a balloon. I find it a little funny that the entire time she's been with me in my room, in the closet only a few feet away there's a large duffel bag filled with 36" balloons, 72", 24", loud pumps, you name it.

My questions are, what are some fun and stimulating activities that she can try with me as someone who has absolutely zero exposure to this nature of kink? I am a popper, and I love sitting on balloons, overinflating them, and bondage activities. I have strong fantasies about being tied up with a large balloon inflating in front of me.

Start off Slow - show her some videos of different types of balloon play to gage her feel, the milder the better, ( with clothed individuals, girls preferably .) then suggest the idea of a few 12 inch balloons( even tho the idea of anything bellow 16 inch is uh - elitist mode :P ) in the bedroom as lucid mentioned above and you can try out different things at HER comfortable pace. A few sessions might be needed to get her comfortable before upping the size - observe and note reactions, she could easily go from accepting and curious to hell naw' and a lot of progress can be lost easily. Patience is the name of the game when initiating the normies, but with confidence from your side exuding. Best of Luck!

[lucid]

Start off Slow - show her some videos of different types of balloon play to gage her feel, the milder the better, ( with clothed individuals, girls preferably .) then suggest the idea of a few 12 inch balloons( even tho the idea of anything bellow 16 inch is uh - elitist mode :P ) in the bedroom as lucid mentioned above and you can try out different things at HER comfortable pace. A few sessions might be needed to get her comfortable before upping the size - observe and note reactions, she could easily go from accepting and curious to hell naw' and a lot of progress can be lost easily. Patience is the name of the game when initiating the normies, but with confidence from your side exuding. Best of Luck!

I understand the logic in what you're saying by starting your partner out "slow" so to speak. It makes sense. But what I've noticed is, whatever you show them to begin with is what they're going to expect. To them, a balloon is a balloon, other than the anxiety factor that will go up as you increase in size. For example, most of the girls that I've introduced to the fetish, I've started out with 17 inch balloons. They are usually amazed at how big they are lol. But then when I whip the 24's out, blow to pops are gonna be a no go. They feel that the 17's are "good enough" for me and that's where we've stayed. However, the girls I introduced directly to 24 inch balloons 1st have an initial hurdle to clear understandably but once they do a few it becomes a non issue. Then to them, the 17's appear small in comparison and are even less of an issue. I notice we are speaking as if this is some controversial or tedious thing that we have to "warm up" our partners for. They're just balloons. Just tell them what you like directly and have fun. This is the method that's always worked for me but I also understand that there is more than one way to do things. Ultimately I guess it depends on the person you're getting sexy with as to how you should approach things. This is just what I've seen personally.

[Tuftex_heart37]

I understand the logic in what you're saying by starting your partner out "slow" so to speak. It makes sense. But what I've noticed is, whatever you show them to begin with is what they're going to expect. To them, a balloon is a balloon, other than the anxiety factor that will go up as you increase in size. For example, most of the girls that I've introduced to the fetish, I've started out with 17 inch balloons. They are usually amazed at how big they are lol. But then when I whip the 24's out, blow to pops are gonna be a no go. They feel that the 17's are "good enough" for me and that's where we've stayed. However, the girls I introduced directly to 24 inch balloons 1st have an initial hurdle to clear understandably but once they do a few it becomes a non issue. Then to them, the 17's appear small in comparison and are even less of an issue. I notice we are speaking as if this is some controversial or tedious thing that we have to "warm up" our partners for. They're just balloons. Just tell them what you like directly and have fun. This is the method that's always worked for me but I also understand that there is more than one way to do things. Ultimately I guess it depends on the person you're getting sexy with as to how you should approach things. This is just what I've seen personally.

Makes sense, your approach does have merit, I'm just overlay cautions is all, but maybe a more direct approach is better overall - will try and apply it in the future and see how it goes with a partner.


Point of clarification I have seen moderate success with direct introduction at a party once, girls enjoyed the big balloons, but since it was a one time thing I chalked it up to an RNG lucky singular occurrence.


16 inch Quakatex Pastel and Crystal mix - example: