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Old 29-10-2022, 01:02 PM
ChillinHaze ChillinHaze is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Great way to link Barbie's fate to a topic quite controversial for TV shows, at least for how they go about enacting it.

This reminded me of another very common occurence with long going TV shows which is often called "jumping the shark". Wonder if you'll do something about that too ^^
And it gives a sneaky excuse to put in an inflatable specimen of said aquatic animal :P
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Old 31-10-2022, 11:39 PM
Harley Harley is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Episode 49

Even if my purpose had been murkier it turned out I hadn't been the only one doing some secret shopping. Alex had gotten herself red body paint for Halloween, since Glen had shown her how effective it could be. She was planning to turn into a she-devil for the evening and while it certainly might be neat I had a couple of concerns.
"You promised to take the twins trick-or-treating - think they'll feel safe around that?"
"Maybe I'll skip the contacts then."
It was just a matter of principle – the girls would probably think her the coolest of the cool as per usual. They wouldn’t have asked her otherwise.
I'd gotten a discounted dog costume for myself - you know I find them scary - and Kim decided to reintroduce the catgirl look she'd pioneered on stage. It seemed like a step backwards.
"Not Catra?"
"Too much work getting it right. I like taking it easy on Halloween."
Amen. Nothing wrong with a great costume but you have to factor for time. I wondered how long it would take Lex to cover all relevant parts.
Kriss kept mum on the subject, which was probably for the best. If she'd thought up something ridic I wanted no part of it.

I've already related how we spent Halloween that year, but by then Kim had naturally already recorded a special show for the day. And as Kriss had found a tutorial how to make a balloon pumpkin, she and Lexi made their own video to pass that knowledge on. The trick is to blow up an orange balloon not quite all the way, then put rubber bands around it to simulate the segments and then finish inflating it. But of course a party-sized one wouldn't do for her.
No, it had to be an 18-incher and if she'd found bigger bands it would have been a 24. To be fair, she did practice on smaller ones and made three to decorate the table, announcing to the viewers she'd crafted them ahead of time to show the principle and that they of course could settle for those diameters.
"This is a ten-inch balloon" - she pointed - "this one's eleven and this twelve inches. Remember to check the bag before buying."
Lexi nodded, settling for being an assistant this once.
"But if you want something more impressive, get hold of one of these."
Kriss held up the empty rubber destined to be the centerpiece.
"Eighteen inches from side to side fully inflated, but we're not going quite that far today." She handed it to Lex. "Could you blow it up for me?"
"Sure", her counterpart replied like it was just another day at work - which for her it sorta was.
While Alex professionally and matter-of-factly filled the loon with air, Kriss went on.
"Apart from a balloon you'll also need some rubber bands. It can be tricky getting the size right, they should be smaller than the balloon but not too small. You may have to tie some elastic string together yourself, just make sure they're the same size."
She pulled a few times on one of the stretchy loops in front of her.
"I was lucky to find these in a specialty store, so remember home-made is an option. A clip like this will also be helpful", she said, indicating a few regular bag sealers among the materials.
Lexi took the bulging object from her lips.
"This big enough?"
Kriss considered it. "A little more."
Two more breaths were added and the blonde held up a hand.
"That should do it. Clamp it off."
Lex complied and I sat back to wait for the comedy to begin.
"Thanks. Now we'll just stretch these around it."
The first one went next to the neck and around the tip of the loon, to make it less oval. It sorta worked, though the shape could have been better. Then she added another at a right angle, and two more in the gaps made by the first pair. You got a vague impression of a pumpkin, but not enough to impress. It took another four to make it decent, but the shape was out of whack. The first band dug in too much and the others not enough, so Kriss tried adjusting that by pushing and squeezing, which helped a bit. Eventually she decided what was needed was more air, so she opened the clip and blew some in. And then some more.
"Wa-hey! Willya look at that!"
I left the camera rolling even though I knew what would happen. Usually you don't see bloopers coming, but this one was waving a rather large flag.
Sure enough, as Kriss forced in the next big breath the pumpkin exploded, sending rubber bands flying in all directions. One struck my shoulder and I was glad it hadn't been stretched more. For some unfathomable reason she looked surprised.
"From the top?" she eventually suggested.
"Sure looked like that", I said. "Nice going, Martha Stewart."
"Would love to see Martha take one of these on for size."
"No. Take on. See if she's got the lung power."
"Kriss, the lady's pushing eighty."
I gave up. I'm not denying it would be interesting, but she has a different demographic. With the occasional crossover, I suppose.
The second take went much better and this time my wife left well enough alone. Of course the final touch was to blow it into size, but by a reasonable amount. She recommended putting something heavy on it to press it round.
"Or sit on it", Lexi suggested.
"As long as you don't overdo it", Kriss said in a display of hypocrisy. Then I imagined the plus-300-pound crowd attempting it and found the comment at the very least advisable.
Anyways, she had a nice and instructive seasonal video for her fans. I couldn't help pointing out the flaw in the process, though.
"All of this would have been so much smoother if you'd used a punchball in the first place."
"Where's the challenge in that? Besides, the others were regular loons."
"Well, 'On the Air' could use one for ambience. How about you trying a punchie just for fun?"
She did, and if she was dismayed at the shape working much better and the neck sticking out like a stem at the top she didn't show it.
"These aren't the real deal anyway", Kriss said. "Been planning to carve one for the porch."
"As long as you don't try it with the balloons. Marker faces will have to do."
By the way, you might recall this was the year Kim and Lex brought home the light-up inflatable pumpkin. Turned out even more disastrous than putting a knife to a loon.

As for the actual Halloween show, we went with the perennial classic 'sexy witch'. Doesn't hurt that Kim has a certain likeness with Elizabeth Montgomery - she's not a dead ringer by any means, but there's something that puts you in mind of the 'Bewitched' star if you look for it. We'd made good use of that in the 'FAIRy Tales' show back east.
So I took the substitute Samantha to the party store to shop for spooky stuff, and there was almost too much to choose from. A big mylar skeleton won our approval and there were kits to make your own balloon spiders - eight-inch black ones for heads and similar elevens for the bodies, packed with matching streamers to hang as legs.
"I wanna make one like that!" she exclaimed.
"Sure, grab a pack or two."
"No, like that! Those are too tiny."
If you wonder why I wasn't surprised you haven't been paying attention. Bigger black balloons were purchased along with various printed party-sized ones plus some wider crepe strips for the arachnid appendages. That would have to be enough along with the homemade pumpkin.

Lou had become a regular collaborator for special occasions and we paid her to emphasize the likeness with the television icon. She combed Kim's hair into a similar style and applied the sixties makeup, turning her into a fair copy. The housewife look would be out, though, and replaced with the customary black dress and pointy hat. We'd handle our costume makeup ourselves when that day came, but Lexi still asked for an expert's opinion on the brand she bought and was told they were reliable.
"But remember the sealant will be hard to remove."
"Oh, I got this as well", Lex said, brandishing a bottle of solvent.
"That's just part of getting it off but a good start", Lou nodded.

The studio naturally had be spiffed up as well and Alex more or less demanded to take part.
"I love seasonal loons", she said.
I was split on the subject after my experiences with some Santa-printed doll shapes, but I could see where she's coming from.
"Any ad balloons really", she went on. "It's such a fun way to draw attention to stuff."
"If it wasn't stores wouldn't be using it."
"True - whenever I see any I wonder if they were blown up by the people working there."
"Think you can be pretty sure they are."
"Blown up, I mean. Not cheating with pumps. Sure, if there's like six hundred or they change them every day I can understand it, but a small bunch... Should count as part of the job."
Couldn't tell whether it was professional pride or envy because I'd made the Angel's mouth-inflate every single theater decoration, but it hardly mattered. If Lexi wanted to help fill the Halloween loons she was more than welcome to. She even dressed the part, trying out the costume she'd be wearing to the party we'd be attending - minus the paint job, of course.
If the members liked the sight as much as me and Kim did we had a winner on our hands. The black dress, boots and horns were incredibly sexy with her long, straight wig and I said if she was to help setting up she was required to take part in our winding-down ritual as well.
"Just try stopping me" she said and my heart raced at the thought of getting to fool around with both a witch and a devil. Me and Kim kissed her thoroughly to seal the pact and if she'd asked for it in the traditional place she'd have gotten it without hesitation. I was tempted to do it anyway just to show my lore knowledge but then we might have gotten off to a premature start.
Instead she opened the bag of cats and bats and other prints on black and orange and blew them up one by one for the camera. Kim unpacked and unfolded the skeleton and methodically puffed it full of air before fixing it to the back wall. By then Lex had leisurely filled about seven balloons and begun considering how to arrange them, asking the resident witch's council. Trying them out in various places seemed the best option and while she did it Kim off-handedly blew a black twelve-incher absolutely round and tied it off. She did a show of trying to push the still-soft rubber into even more of a sphere, then picked up another in the same color - but rated twice the size. She put in a good effort at inflating it as fast as possible, and to avoid the neck filling in the slightest she clamped her hand shut around it. It appeared like she was making the balloon grow and swell out by blowing straight into her fist and I have to say it looked pretty nice, especially as she wasn't exactly holding back. Every breath seemed deliberate and forceful, making her lovely face bulge neatly as the air passed into the loon. When it reached a fat drop shape Kim expertly knotted it close to the body and fastened the smaller one as a head. She brought out the crepe streamers and taped four pieces to each side and while they didn't exactly mimic spider's legs they gave the right effect.
Sticking it to the wall was another matter and she had to upset Lexi's thoughtful arrangement to make it fit in the frame. Which didn't matter much since her wife had inflated the rest of the 12-pack and would have had to move the first ones to make room for them anyway.
I was happy my assistance hadn't been required since the two girls and the various props were more than enough to fill out the limited space. Kriss was mercifully on official errands or we'd had yet another opinion to deal with. But the end result looked good and we prepared to shoot the show. Kim adjusted her hat and refreshed her lipstick before sitting down at the desk. The space in front of Barb's vacated seat was occupied by the punchball pumpkin and it all looked well suited to the occasion. I might mention right away this episode set a new record in retake frustration, all owing to the same stupid prop. But we'll get there.

Kim sat down to welcome her audience and wish them a Happy Halloween, then told them the date was named for being the night before All Saints - or All Hallows - Day. Hence, Hallow's eve.
"While no one is sure if it's a Christianized version of the Gaelic holiday Samhain, all agree it was brought to the United States by Irish and Scottish immigrants in the 1800's and through American influence spread to the rest of the world in the late nineteen hundreds. I'm sure you’re all familiar with the trick-or-treating, costume parties, bobbing for apples and spooky stories, but most of those are pretty recent inventions. Other traditions go back several centuries."
She went on with describing an old superstition about how the year's departed would wander the earth until All Saints' Day and would seek a final chance to take vengeance on those who had wronged them while alive. Hence the habit of putting on costumes or other disguises - to try and hide from their wrath.
"In parts of Europe, especially France, people believed on this night the dead would rise from the graveyards for a wild celebration called the danse macabre. Hey, even the stiffs know how fun some dancing can be!"
Kim went into some details about Samhain, about how the end of harvest season and the start of the winter was seen as a period when the boundaries between this world and the Otherworld weakened, allowing spirits, fairies and the souls of the dead to pass through. Offerings of food were left out to appease the former and tables were set for relatives no longer alive, should they happen to visit. Bonfires were lit to either ward of the darkness of winter or keep evil forces at bay. She noted some similarities with the Mexican Dia de Muerte and that it may share origins with Halloween, though opinions differ.
"Might cover that next year, if people tell me enough about it."
Would be great to hear from those actually celebrating it instead of just looking it up.
"You may have noticed my jack-o’-lantern isn't a traditional pumpkin", Kimber said, patting the punchball Kriss had prepared. "But the original version from Scotland was a carved turnip. Only when the holiday took hold here did they start to use a more local vegetable, which was both bigger and easier to carve. So I don't think the material matters. However, it's true it doesn't light up as it should - I mean, it's right in the name. One story about that tells of a man named Jack who tricked the Devil into never claiming his soul and then offended God through a sinful life, barring him from both heaven and hell. When he died the Devil tossed him an infernal ember and he put it into a hollowed turnip to light his way. Hence, Jack of the lantern."
She went on to talk about trick-or-treating and how it was preceded by the old practices of souling and guising, which included actually giving some kind of small performance in exchange for edibles.
"The modern version and associated phrase seems to be a Canadian thing from the early twentieth century, spreading into the northern and western U.S. in the 1920's and across the rest in the following decades. At first baked goods were the most common treats - candy didn't really become the norm until the 1950's, mainly because of heavy marketing from the manufacturers."
It hadn't seemed far-fetched when I read it, but I have to admit I'd imagined it much older.
"As for my costume, witches aren't really a Halloween thing but since they're associated with devil worship, evil spirits and other spooky stuff they fit right in, along with all the monsters and supernatural baddies. Maybe you've heard about the 'Blair Witch Project'? Guess you could call me 'The Air Witch'."
Yeah, yeah, we'd used that pun at the theatre, but what were the odds the viewers had seen that? While Kim was still talking about broomsticks, black cats and other traditional attributes, a yellow balloon bearing a written message appeared from nowhere with a magical noise. Or would, when the editing was done. Kim grabbed it and began to check what it said, but it exploded in her hands almost at once and made her recoil for a moment.
"Aw, I wasn't done!"
She gathered up the pieces in her palm and wiggled her nose (well, near enough anyway) at it, and using a rare close-up we made another cut to show them being replaced with an intact but deflated duplicate. She wasted no time blowing it up until the letters were large enough to decipher and read them aloud:
'That's quite enough about you. Get on with the show!'
She frowned. "No balloon's gonna tell me what to do", she exclaimed and dug her nails in. The yellow globe popped and Kim dusted her hands off.
"Though it might have a point."
The rest of the script was mainly a description of local customs across the world, which were mostly slight variations on the American ones. She was apparently nearing the end as she reminded the viewers that it was traditionally a time for visits from the other side, "so don't be surprised if you meet a ghost or two tonight!"
And then Kimber did just that herself.
See, part of the preparations had been hooking a fishing line from wall to wall, thin enough to be invisible. It sat at a slight angle to make anything sliding along it helped forward by gravity. At this point Lex hooked on a balloon made up to resemble a traditional bedsheet spook and blew hard on it from out of frame to get it going. Kim looked up at the sudden apparition with more annoyance than surprise, and as it came into reach she yanked it loose. The idea was that she'd blow into the tiny valve added instead of a knot to rid herself of the nuisance, which wasn't one of her silliest ideas. We'd done something similar in our first stage production.
If it had just been a regular ghost balloon there would have been no problems at all, or at least a lot less. But Kriss had suggested we'd cover the basic transparent 9-incher with the flimsiest white fabric we could find, draw eyes 'n mouth on it and make it rip apart from the pop. If you have any experience with such materials you might guess just how easy that is.
The first time Kim blew the balloon to bursting it simply popped inside the gauze sheet, causing the textile to droop pathetically from her grip. It was just...wrong. So the next time she bunched it up tighter and then the expanding rubber tore it up, wearing it like a jagged floppy collar before popping. As special effects went, it looked super cheap. And the same thing happened on the third take. I was starting to get exasperated but Alex brought a suggestion to the table. She was taking it well, even though she'd been saddled with blowing up, writing out and deflating a new message balloon every time. Redoing it from the closeup wasn't too bad.
"Blow it up real big, then glue the effin’ sheet on and let some air out. Some extra folds won't hurt, right?"
"Worth a shot."
Might have worked if Kim hadn't crossed the thin line between 'real big' and 'too big'. The damn thing popped before we even had a chance to apply the adhesive.
"Maybe better if you handle it", she told Lex. "Your idea and all."
Lexi shrugged and blew up another white balloon to the bursting point, then opened the valve to deflate it just a smidgeon. She fixed the sheet to the surface, let it dry and brought it down to size. It wasn't bad, but it would be hell to put an acceptable face on it.
So she dug out a pair of googly eyes from the crafts drawer and glued them on too. I stifled a laugh - the Pac-Man look would do nicely and require no mouth. Plus it appeared so harmless, which would make Kim's treatment seem comically cruel.
And it did. When the ghost floated past Kim snatched it mid-air, bunched up the bottom and drew a huge breath. I held mine, hoping this wouldn't be another fail.
As she forced the contents of her lungs into the hapless spectre, the folds filled out like she was inflating the sheet and not its contents, and since it was stuck to the latex it had no choice but to burst when the rubber did. I'd feared that the glue would hold the whole thing together - though it must simply have made more pressure possible. While the ghost didn't exactly fly to pieces it exploded outwards in a very amusing way, like the barrel of a plugged rifle in any decent cartoon would. Kim lobbed the remains out of sight.
"Bustin' makes me feel good."
Having filled the quota of pop culture references, she again wished the viewers a very happy Halloween and cautioned them to not eat too much candy or they might burst themselves.
She blew some black confetti at them and I turned off the camera with a sigh of relief at having managed a useable take. The only thing needing editing was to cut out the noise of the valve hitting the floor along with the rest of the ghost.

"And now", Kim announced, "the witching hour begins. Meaning you'll spend one doing a witch."
Me and Lex had nothing against that and soon we were jockeying for position on the bed that could comfortably hold two but needed creativity for three. It was fun though, and involved at least as many tricks as treats. Kim suggested a novel use for her pointy hat and Lex threw it across the room before she could act on it. I took the opportunity to admonish the blonde.
"Be nice or I'll tell you how witches were supposed to pledge allegiance to the devil."
"I bet it was real naughty", Kim leered and slapped my butt. So I went and informed her.
I suppose she damned herself utterly, but right then neither of us gave a damn.

That's it for this episode! If you've missed the previous story about that Halloween, it can be found here:

Last edited by Harley; 31-10-2022 at 11:42 PM.
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Old 01-11-2022, 02:41 AM
Infl8 Infl8 is online now
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Thanks for the story so far, Harley. It's really nice. I was wondering, are the round big boob like balloons from the stone theater gonna show again here? Also, will any more balloons from the stone theater show up?
Also, will any more blow up dolls, or even sex dolls, show up in later chapters? I'd love to read about a rubber one, if possible.
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Old 01-11-2022, 11:36 AM
ChillinHaze ChillinHaze is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
That Ghostbusters line had me smirking and instantly but the song into my head for an hour, thanks for that. xD

There was really a lot of interesting info about Halloween in this one and the shenaningens the girls got up to fits the bill too. ^^

We had a quite busy Halloween evening ourselves with quite a few kids trick-or-treating. My girlfriend even dressed up and we put one of our dragons into the entrance area of the house so everyone standing at the door would see it looming over her shoulder.
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Old 01-11-2022, 02:00 PM
Harley Harley is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Infl8, I think Barbie will be the only kind of rubber doll I can work in with characters lacking the 'equipment' to use it properly. Maybe in another tale. But as for shaped loons of the kinds you mention, there'll soon be a good opportunity for those!

Chillin, that sounds like a worthy use for a 'flatable dragon! Hope it was duly admired, even if it was in secret. And glad you found the content interesting - I know this story is a bit heavy on the trivia, but since it's the very excuse for making 'On the Air' I feel it really belongs there for flavor. And to create opportunities for related balloon scenes, of course!
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Old 01-11-2022, 08:45 PM
ChillinHaze ChillinHaze is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Oh, don't worry about being trivia heavy in the story. It is nice to learn a few interesting things on the side ^^

And yes, the dragon caught the attention of a few kids and my girlfriend assured them it wouldn't eat anyone xD
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Old 24-11-2022, 10:38 PM
Harley Harley is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Been a bit of a delay, so I'm gonna try posting the next couple eps with just a couple of days between each. Anyway, here's

Episode 50

We had no problems making the next episode - Kim gave a first-hand account of Sam Shazam's little shindig along with instructions on where to catch his act. She also played parts of "I Put a Spell On You" on her sax for the subscribers, reclaimed center stage on the set and popped the Halloween decorations for her members to show the holidays were officially over. But all that business with stage tricks and illusions had given her ideas.
"I wanna be Zatanna next time."
"Unfortunately she's D.C. too", I said. "You'll be Black Widow and like it."
If only I could have liked putting together the script as much. I burst six balloons in exasperation before giving up and pretty much winging it - it seemed in keeping what with her regular writers do. At least Kim already owned a black catsuit, and not the feline kind. Adding a belt of metal discs wasn’t much work, although there was one reservation.
"I'm not dyeing my hair just for this", she said.
"You don't have to. Red's just the default color, she changes it quite a bit."
That wasn't the only thing that kept changing, as you're about to find out.
Putting something suitable in the studio was challenging. Sure, there were balloons with an appropriate symbol, but two out of twelve in an 'Avengers' set seemed wasteful. Still, a pair on either side would be enough and that meant getting three packs in case of some accidental pops. I was sure we could think up uses for the rest of the loons. And since Lex could paint her entire body for one night Kim voluntarily backpedaled on the hair and sprayed it flaming red with the kind of party dye that would basically come out on its own even before the first wash. It added something - though I'm not sure of what. Anyway, there was no doubt she cut a striking figure covered head to toe in skintight imitation patent leather, and opening the zipper a bit of course hinted at how easy it would be to pull it down all the way.
She inflated the four required loons and spaced them out against the back wall, then lamented having killed off the spider. I said the name was symbolic anyway and had her start trying to convey a summary of the character to the camera.
"If you've only seen the movie version played by Scarlett Johansson, you're probably not aware of all the roles Black Widow has had over the decades. Created in 1964 as a foil for Iron Man, she started out as a regular scheming seductress who did very little physically and instead sent her mooks to do the dirty work. She also wore a domino mask and an outfit consisting mainly of fishnets, making her appear more like a dominatrix than a spy."
I’d wondered how dommes had usually dressed back then. It wasn’t exactly an open occupation in those days.
“She also had black hair worn in an updo, probably to emphasize her name. Anyway, it wasn’t long before she became romantically entangled with the archer Hawkeye and defected from her Soviet masters.“
Ah yes, the Cold War, when heroes were as likely to fight commies as intergalactic tyrants, somehow equaling those threats.
“All of a sudden she had considerable hand-to-hand skills and other talents suited for fieldwork. The first time readers were told her backstory she was an orphan raised by a certain Ivan Petrovich, and later trained as a spy to help her motherland. Her real name was revealed to be Natasha Romanova and she also got a more practical suit, sort of like this one.”
She indicated herself and touched her hair. “And a makeover in the coiffure department. Although her hair tends to change a lot, ostensibly to help with disguises.”
As you may understand, I copy-paste from my original scripts in these retellings but this time I can’t really do that since I only gave Kim a general list to riff around. I’m sure you’ll understand why from the following.
In short, Natasha joined the Avengers in general crimefighting, using bracelets called ‘Widow’s Bite’ since they fire electric bolts, tear gas pellets or grappling lines. The discs on the belt were variously explosives or holders for whatever the writers decided she might need at any given point. Apart from violence she was equally adept at manipulation and seduction, selecting whichever made for a more gripping read. I hadn’t been too far off guessing Marvel was closer to soap opera than their Distinguished Competition, since Natasha also had time for a complicated personal life, dating several men over the years including Matt Murdock - also known as Daredevil.
As the years passed it was getting less and less plausible having her orphaned during the siege of Stalingrad, so instead we were told she’d been handed her over to their government’s ‘Black Widow Ops’ department for training since birth, being brainwashed, given false memories and an injection of some biological serum that both slowed her aging immensely and boosted her physical abilities, giving her a greater resistance to poisons and diseases as well. Handling sidearms, knives and sniper rifles along with learning hypnotism and every martial art under the sun seemed to be standard classes, although the presenter emphasized her ballet skills as they both stuck out and interested her personally. Oh, and Nat also spent time training with and romancing the Winter Soldier – I’ll just refer you to the Captain America movie with that subtitle for more on him. Kim did the same on camera.
There was also an arranged marriage to a Soviet pilot who was then selected to become The Red Guardian – their answer to the aforementioned Captain. Naturally, Natasha was instead told he’d died. For a while she took it up with Hercules – seems Wonder Woman wasn’t the only one borrowing from Greek myths, although this guy being part of the Avengers sounded a bit contrived even for comics.
Another graduate of the Black Widow program, Yelena Belova, tried to take the title since she’d surpassed Nat’s training grades, but was convinced to try dropping the lifestyle, at least for a while. As she’s pretty much a separate character we left it at that, although it was nice to see they’d provided a backup for the role. Which turned out to not be needed, as Nat after being killed reemerged as Natasha Romanoff – a clone of Natalia Romanova (the formal spelling of Natasha’s name). It’s in situations like this alternating between versions get real confusing, and I was confused enough already. I hope you’re starting to realize why this was so agonizing to summarize.
“Huge spoiler alert”, Kim said, giving the viewers time to prepare. “All her skills don’t save her from getting killed off in the ‘Endgame’ movie, because as the token girl on the team she’s the mandatory sacrifice. While both the film and comics versions want to repent for horrible deeds in Russian service, I think dying’s a shitty way of doing it. Working hard to make amends is so much more interesting, dontcha think?”
Can’t say I felt sorry for Nat, but I did for the audience being subjected to such a horribly tired trope.
“Anyway, there’s rumors of her finally getting a solo movie, which seems a little too late. Remains to be seen if they find a way to bring her back there too or if they go the cheap ‘n easy way and make it a prequel. Not sure I ever saw one of those that didn’t suck, but one thing’s for sure – Black Widow’s hard to pin down. Hope I managed it somewhat!”
Amen to that.

With the main show done, Kim defeated the four studio balloons in hand-to-hand combat, squeezing them to death under her arms or throttling the life out of them. She even fought dirty against the last one and delivered a lethal bite. Which was all fine and dandy for the members area, but after such a lackluster episode she thought the subscribers could use something extra. Preferably including inflation of some kind.
I tilted my head at her. "So how would a spy use something inflatable? 'Portable explosions' was kinda funny but you can't pull that one twice."
Kim had evidently given that thought since she didn't waste time replying.
"Decoy dummies?"
Not shabby, the only question was in what form. We could of course have used Inflata-Kim but she was frankly too bulky to lug around. And would take a little too long to fill up. Instead the presenter located the caricature loon Samantha had made of her.
"You really wanna use that?"
"It will just dry out and shrivel up if I keep it stashed. Besides, would feel wrong never have blown it up."
If she was willing to part with the memento I had no objections. So for the subscriber video she said that as part of her job was subterfuge and tricking the enemy it was crucial knowing how to use decoys.
"The important bit is that they're believable."
She fished out the balloon from behind her belt and inflated it with absolute confidence. The contrast between her words and the result was kinda amusing. We only had one shot with the customized loon but I'd decided we could substitute a smiley one if need be - which would be even more unconvincing and perhaps funnier.
Having blown her copy but not her cover she tied it off and taped it to the backrest of a chair.
"Perfect! Now I'll just move it in front of this window..."
She pushed the seat towards an imaginary aperture and stood back to wait. That was my cue to shine a laser pointer at it and after a few seconds I fired a pin at the target. I was pretty proud over how good a shot I'd become with the blowpipe and it was gratifying to watch the loon explode into pieces. I felt a bit like a vandal at having destroyed a Vandermeer original, but sometimes you have to sacrifice art for the art.
The spy put on a smug grin. "See? Imagine how it would have looked if that had been me."
I did, and since we'd already 'popped' Kim once I wondered if it would be funny with just her head. And couldn't stop thinking about it. But first things first - I made her do a retake with a common yellow smiley, the ten-inch grocery store variety. A pack of those was part of the props I'd stacked up on to use if needed, and we needed one now. After blowing, tying, positioning and shooting the results were in, and just as I had suspected, it looked better.
"Awful sorry, kitten, but we won't be using the first one. You can't really tell it's supposed to be you at that distance - and the other loon was hilarious."
Kim had collected the pieces of the burst portrait and was fingering them forlornly.
"So she died in vain."
"Wouldn't say that - your members will love seeing her blown up and popped. If it's any consolation, I've got a special project to compensate."
As soon as I told her Kim brightened up all the way, more than eager to try it out. She practically ran to fetch the lime tee I'd suggested while I thought the process over in my head. It would be fairly straightforward - all that remained was a suitable end. Even stupid extra material might need some resolution.
When Kimmy returned we did yet another retake, but right after the final line I shone the pointer at her forehead and then she held absolutely still while I went up and covered her head with the tee, pulled it together in the back like a makeshift hood and made a thick knot to secure it. Then I went out of frame, waited a beat and yelled "Pop!"
As agreed, Kim collapsed on the spot, rapidly sinking straight down and toppling out of sight. I was awed at her being able to do that without visual references, but then again, she's worked a bit at controlling her body. I rushed in to remove the green fabric and did my best to make her hair look presentable again. Back at the camera I made sure nothing was visible and told her to do the finish. She sprang back up into view, not acting surprised in the least.
"The best part about comics is you can pop back from anything as long as the writers want it. Now, can someone write me a drink? Or a million bucks? Either works. Until next time!"
We reshot the perfunctory ending a couple times on general principle, and then the fun began. Together we blew up every balloon left in the bag - all ten of them - and collected them in a heap. As the quality wasn't the best Kim's second one burst in her face and I snorted in amusement. That bit me in the back when the very last one popped prematurely and stung my cheek, but I'm sure the viewers would appreciate a couple of unintended blow-to-pops. Because we naturally filmed it, like most any other preparation including inflation.
Then we took turns using them for target practice in front of the camera - the placement wouldn't matter much, just the effect, so we simply tossed them in like the world's fattest clay pigeons. That was a fun day at work. The misses, the frustration, the hits and the triumphs made it more like a game than anything else and when we were done there were shreds of yellow latex everywhere and a few pins stuck to the neutral backdrop. But since I had stuff to do asap I stuck Kim with cleanup duty and headed straight for editing.
It was surprisingly easy to key out the colored material and make Kimber lose her head - what took some time was replacing it. Not that it was any more difficult to mask and move the rubber bits to the right spot, it was selecting the best shot. Kim came in to help me decide, which actually took longer. But we finally agreed and she was overjoyed to have one of her pops declared the winner. Fair, really, since it was her skull on the line. I did tint the yellow latex red to match her hair better, but that just looked like blood spatter and was more gruesome than amusing. So I went with pink instead and brought it back to comical.
What we ended up with wasn't a CGI masterpiece, but I still doubled over laughing. Can't help it - it's just so funny when things that shouldn't be able to explode do it anyway.
However, Kriss and Lex were horrified at their first viewing since they had no idea what would happen and seeing Kimmy offed without warning shocked them. Lexi had to grab and touch and kiss her beloved at once to make sure she was okay, but the blonde didn't seem to mind - in fact, she appeared pretty pleased at both the reaction and treatment.
The rewatch had them both in stitches, though, and Kriss stated we should pop the presenter more often.
"It's the funniest", she said, and if you've wondered what I see in her the sense of humor is right up there with the other top five thousand things.

Amazingly, the Black Widow Brigade wasn't furious but readily admitted her history was muddled, although they did try to claim the constant retcons were deliberate to keep her past mysterious. I'm not sure the writers could have done as an amazing job of that if they'd actually tried. Another, less comic-invested viewer suggested the decoy had been even better if she'd inflated her entire suit as well. I couldn't fault him as it would've meant a look at an almost naked Kimber, but wasn't too sure the material would allow it.
So Kim tried a practical experiment. She clamped off the sleeves and legs, duct taped the neck opening shut around a hollow plastic tube and covered the zipper the same way. Then she started puffing away into the tube and the shiny black surface actually filled up all the way with her breath. It didn't stay like that though - in fact, it only held its proper shape as long as she was blowing. But it was more inflatable than I'd thought, which was a point for her team. Still didn't hold a candle to the latex one she'd blown to bursting around Lex only earlier that year. Seemed like ages ago.
I declined her offer to try humping it while she kept it inflated, knowing I'd either squeeze the air out too fast to keep up or push it all into her mouth. So she suggested I'd shag her instead, which frankly was a better idea.
Much better.

I was glad to have that script out of the way, though I'd been thoroughly compensated for my troubles. The series of pops from frustration hadn't gone unnoticed and Kim eventually came in to check.
"That bad, huh?"
"It's like no one agreed with anyone else and every writer decided to start from scratch."
She plonked herself down on the spare chair.
"Come sit on my lap. I'll cheer you up."
I straddled her and she unbuttoned my blouse before snapping the bra open. Then my nipples were lovingly sucked until I was starting to forget about the chore I'd saddled myself with. It would have been incredibly sensual if Kim hadn't decided to motorboat me with an accompanying raspberry. A really noisy one. I didn't even have time to comment before she gave me another one - and then a third in a really sensitive place.
"You have to do that?"
"Cheered you up, didn't it?"
I couldn't deny that and pressing her lips against my shoulder she rose, picking me up in the process. I was deposited on the couch and stripped naked while Kim's lips kept treating every freshly uncovered piece of skin in the same way she'd started out. She managed to lose her own clothes as well and soon the longest, loudest parping so far rang out from my thigh.
Kim looked at me with mock accusal. "Wow, you're really letting it rip, aren't you?"
I grabbed her arm and blew hard against it. "Look who's talking."
"Oops! Better out than in!"
Then everything turned into a cross between wrestling and making out, with rude sounds created on both sides. The handling and fondling, gripping and caressing was almost more than I could take and along with lots and lots of loving licks and kisses it made for one hell of an experience. Though more like heaven. We giggled and moaned and every stupid farting noise had us laughing even harder, creating such a racket that Lex, who'd come looking for Kim, had no problems finding us.
"What are you doing?"
Kim took her face off my belly. "Cherry's all pooped from making scripts. I'm cheering her up."
"You mean Bronx cheering her up."
"Come join us", I said. "I could use all the cheers in the world."
I'm not sure Lexi would make a good quick-change artist but she sure has the undressing bit down pat. In a matter of seconds she was as bare as us and running her tongue from my tit to Kim's mouth. After snogging her wife she kissed me too as a way to accept the invitation and then all formalities went out the window. I was mercilessly double-teamed by two pairs of eager lips and hands that made me forget every annoyance. Though it soon got kinda ticklish and I turned around to expose a less overwhelmed side, which didn't help much but opened new possibilities for the duo. Kim kissed her way down my back and as soon as I felt the first warm vibes in my buttcrack I knew she'd only waited for an opportunity.
And then she went a step further. Suddenly my ass filled up with air and as I clenched in surprise it all went back out as the genuine article, neither silent nor deadly. The delighted giggle was so sweet I instantly forgave her, though turnabout is fair play. Even by proxy.
"Lexi love, why don’t you show her how that feels?"
In a flash my brown sugar was kneeling behind her mate, and the way Kim's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped proved beyond a doubt she was getting a taste of her own medicine. The result was disappointing but its the principle that counts. Besides, I'd found it far from unpleasant myself.
"Why don't you work on the importants bits?" the blonde suggested, and Lex crawled forward to place her lips on my mound. A few kisses later she landed a raspberry on my clit and if you don't know how getting that from a professional trumpeter feels I pity you. The good vibrations more than made up for the sound which was pretty much drowned out by what Kim was doing to my upper body anyway. Her hands running all over my sides and arms added so much intimacy to the blowing and sucking I couldn't hold back for long and got noisy as fuck myself. You'd think that'd at least slow them down but noo, I had to endure it for a while longer. Which was fine by me.
"Feeling better?" Kim asked.
"Oh hell yeah. Though I think I can stand watching it done too."
The grins they gave each other showed they couldn't wait to make this a two-player game and within seconds Kim was pinned down and once more subjected to the things we'd been doing on our own. Squirming and laughing, she gave as good as she got and what should have been a silly spectacle turned sensual and erotic by the intent. I adore seeing how much they love each other and the thorough job they were making of it was so arousing I had to jill off where I stood, grasping the back of my chair for support. I didn't care it might roll away - that'd be a problem for future Cherry. For the moment there was just sheer selfish bliss and I got all the milage I could out of it. Then I sat down to enjoy the rest of the lovely display to a gentler massage, and when everything was eventually over it would have been hard to wipe the smile off my face.
After we'd wound down and redressed I assurred my playmates I was fit to finish my job and they said they might take the opportunity to go find Kriss to see how she'd like those tricks. I was fine with that too.
"Just don't teach her you-know-what."
"Too late", Kim said.
For some reason I wasn't in the least upset with my wife having been armed with such ideas. If anything, I got warm all over at the thought of those two getting that intimate on their own. Besides, if Krissie tried it on me I'd pay her back in person. With great interest.

On a sort of related note, let me allude to some reactions to the showdown in the dance hall - even if they as a whole were frankly unremarkable. Kriss got more cred for dressing up than winning the bout, probably since it was more unexpected. The blowoff got a lot of appreciation, of course, but that's pretty much par for the course. However, Power Crystal had privately admitted her crimebusting method would involve literally busting criminals, and that was picked up on by someone who'd probably have a stroke if he knew Kriss' thoughts on the subject. Long story short, his ultimate fantasy was being blown to pop by Crystal Mackenzie, and according to him her superhero persona would make it unbelievably good.
"You practically asked for it", I told her.
"I didn't know there were people actually into that."
"Coulda asked me", Lex said. "We used to have a customer like it."
Now, I do understand client confidentiality, but since there'd been no shortage of camming stories I thought it would have been brought up by now. At least in connection with the one who wanted to see Kim blown to pop.
"Was a bit cringey", Alex explained. "Didn't want to make anyone look bad."
"How's that worse than any of the rest?"
"Well, he wanted to be... belittled. And that's one thing face to face, but..."
Kim came to the rescue. "No one's gonna know who he was. Heck, we don't know. Was more like keyboard to keyboard anyway."
I couldn't help being curious and Kim decided a demonstration would be better than a retelling.
"This I gotta see", Kriss giggled. "Need any props?"
"Couple hoses. And you have to yell 'bang' at some point."
That sorta surprised me. "Bang?"
"He wrote that as a cue he'd popped."
"But of course."
"I'll do one better", Kriss said and went for the required tubes.
She was gone longer than expected and came back with two hoses joined by a connector leading into what looked like a yellow 17-inch balloon. Hard to tell with the uninflated ones - heck, I have a devil of a time with ones filled to the max as well. But that wasn't the end of it. She'd also stuck a pillow inside one of Barb's old loose tees and fixed a printout of a man's face to the neck. Instantly recognizable as Mr. Tod Guernica, the artist whose acquaintance we'd made the previous year and who hadn't exactly been in vogue since his little social faux pas. Kim laughed.
"The perfect victim!"
"Thanks", Kriss said. "I thought of blowing it up inside my own shirt but that would be more like audience participation."
"Yeah", Lex agreed. "And I'd feel like I was talking to you. Couldn't do that. But him? No prob."
The performers set the makeshift dummy up right in front of them with the audience - us - just to the side. Kim made sure a breath went into the balloon and let it back out after checking that folding the hose would keep it in.
"We'll act the way he wanted it, in case you're wondering."
"All the better", I said. "Let's see it."
They exhaled heavily a few times to get in character and then the blonde spoke in a different voice, the accent she'd used on cam to help become unrecognizable. The inflection was also far haughtier than what we were used to.
"Hey bro, just here to check if I left my phone while I was laughing at your porn mags. You really should hide them better. You remember Steph, of course."
"Wassup", Alex said in an island lilt. "Wow, you are a puny one, aren't you?"
Kim nodded apologetically. "True. You're so scrawny I'm ashamed having you for a stepbrother."
Lex gave a nasty giggle. "You're right, he's such a wimp!"
Her friend brought the hoses into view. "Whaddya say we help him gain some bulk?"
"I was always a sucker for lost causes."
"Think you can be a blower too?"
"Blow him? Never. Blow up? You're on."
"Hold still" Kim ordered and pretended to stick something towards the pillow. Where it went was up for interpretation.
"This won't take long." She drew a deep breath and blew hard into the tube, her cheeks puffing out with more force than strictly needed. Beneath the tee the balloon began to fill up.
"Wanna give it a go?" she asked and Lex took a turn, blowing the fake belly a bit bigger.
"It works!" she exclaimed. "We'll make a quarterback out of him yet."
"Or at least a quarter of a man" Kim said and blew again, then once more.
Lex took over and made big eyes at the swelling effigy."
"Oh look, his crotch is growing too!"
"Never noticed anything there before", Kim said. "Let's see if I can make it bigger."
She huffed and puffed a few times before giving up. "Nopes. He just gets fatter."
"Fat and geeky, how cliché." Alex gave the hose a thorough blow. "But this is kinda fun! Like blowing up a big stupid balloon."
"You're right! But do you know what's even more fun than blowing balloons? Popping balloons."
Lex gasped. "Can we? That'd be awesome!"
Kim's smile turned outright devious as she turned to their hapless victim.
"Would you like that, bro? Would you like us to inflate you until you..." - a big puff - "...pop?"
She waited a couple of moments before going on. "That sounded like a yes to me. Didn't it?"
"Sure did", Lexi agreed.
"Go ahead then. Let's not disappoint him."
'Steph' blew again with renewed fervor, alternating breaths with the poor boy's step-sis. The latter took the tube from her lips and chuckled maliciously.
"He's getting really full, isn't he?!"
"For sure! I can hardly see him behind that tummy."
"I can hear him whining though. Pathetic."
"Sounds like squeaking. Maybe that's what it is!" Lex added some air while still looking at Kim. "But what'll we tell people?"
"His deadbeat dad's never around anyway. Bet he won't miss him."
"What about your mom?"
Kim shrugged. "Doubt she knows he exists."
Her cheeks puffed out again and Alex protested.
"Gonna finish him all by yourself?"
"Didn't think of that. Let's do it together!"
Having taken turns to this point they began to blow in unison and their disdainful scowls were probably helped by the portrait atop the inflating body. The neck of the balloon was sticking out under the shirt like a thick, inverted boner and grew longer with every dual breath. I stuck my fingers in my ears to get at least some audience participation in and it wasn't a moment too soon. With a dull boom the oversized tee fell flat against pillow, followed by the printout folding forwards. The girls stopped blowing to crack gleeful grins.
"Where'd he go?" Lex asked.
"Dunno", Kim said. "Expected him to make an even bigger mess of his room but I guess he finally did something right."
"You won't tell anybody, willya? I'd never live down if anyone knew I blew your brother."
"My lips are sealed if yours are. Bye, bro! Guess you won't be needing this place anymore. I think I'll make it a walk-in closet."
With that they rose and walked out laughing, getting an impressed applause in the process. I'd never known they could act this, well, cruel. Knowing how fake it was made it even more amusing. They came back to take a bow.
"Great show", I said. "Though if I live to be a hundred I'll never get why anyone would wanna be treated like that."
"Guess it takes all kinds", Kriss shrugged. "If it was me I'd prefer a more caring treatment."
"I checked some vids", Lex said. "Found one where the girl pretended to find the victim of a steamroller accident, folded him up and took him home to help through some mouth-to-mouth. All shot in first person."
"You're kidding", I said on general principle. I didn't doubt a word.
"I'd show you if I had it. She could have placed her lips better but at least his shirt did balloon up a whole lot."
"That sounds like a fail."
"Technical and story-wise. Of course she blew him to burst by accident and the clip just ended. Might have worked if it had gone black at the pop but makes no sense for the poor guy to still see after exploding."
"They ever show the body?" Kriss wanted to know.
"Just flattened clothes and shoes", Kim said. "And as I recall she rolled them, not folded."
Lex scoffed. "Tomato, potato."
Scenography mistakes aside, I kinda liked the scenario. A lot more than the one in the live performance, at least. Though if the script had been signed C. Silvers the good samaritan would have managed to blow him up properly, but far too much - so sucking some out would be necessary. Through a different mouthpiece. That way he could both pop in her face and have a happy ending. And with me favoring equal opportunity porn he'd blow her in gratitude, or at the very least make clear he intended to.
Then the sexy visuals were replaced by the thought of a lifeguard giving an unconscious swimmer mouth-to-mouth, unintentionally inflating him into a human beachball and starting an improptu volleyball game. Didn't I see that in a comic once?
No matter. I shook the image away and suggested we act out the improved steamroller scene just for fun, and whaddya know, it was a lot of fun - both being found by Lexi and watching Kriss assist Kim. She's not a bad actress all the time.
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Old 27-11-2022, 09:18 PM
Harley Harley is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Episode 51

I skipped past the November birthdays because for once they were a cinch - as Kriss was born on the 23rd she decided to set the song in one of her own favorite styles. She took a moment to explain that at the start before blowing up a light blue balloon for the makeshift stage.
"I think this might be my favorite color. What's yours?"
Lex merely smiled in reply and held up a lavender loon which she proceeded to fill with her breath. Since some might call it light purple or lilac it was probably better showing than telling. She picked up the euphonium to accompany Kriss' tenor sax in a smooth, mellow take on the tune. They were both wearing dresses suitable for an informal party which made it easy for Kim to get away with the same, though she picked a white balloon in honor of the approaching winter.
Of all the month's notable birthdays she left out a rather important one - the first anniversary of 'On the Air'. I'd left it up to Kimber to think of what she wanted to do for it, but apart from that I was kind of strapped for ideas. Barbie's tenure had screwed up my planning for specials and I wasn't sure where to go.
Kriss suggested the costume shop might be a good start, so off we went. The friendly girl at the counter was wearing some kind of vaguely military-looking uniform, a light grey jacket with a very short skirt and matching cap. A white shirt and thin red tie completed the ensemble and she said it was from some anime I couldn't pronounce, much less spell. But Kim's eyes went wide. Japanese shows were virginal territory and I fervently hoped it would be possible to make an at least somewhat brief recap of the genre. There was a wide selection of garments at any rate, and browsing took the best part of an afternoon. The crazy, colorful wigs gave us a good chuckle and the recent upshoot in memberships and merchandise sales made budgeting trivial.
There were so many things she could have been, but Kim limited the options by refusing to wear a seifuku.
"Might as well cosplay Donald Duck then."
She rather liked the Cutie Honey outfit but found it far too revealing and besides, like many others it was far too character-bound. The clerk was really friendly and helpful and I asked if her guy still watched the show.
"More than ever now that he knows things I've sold might appear. Is it okay if I tell him what you get or would that be spoiler-y?"
I was surprised at the integrity. "You haven't? By all means, do. Especially if it keeps up the interest."
She hesitated. "What's really in the members area? He's been curious to join but I don't want him disappointed. In case, you know, it's not his thing..."
"Pretty much what it says on the box. He'll love the outtakes, that I can promise, but the rest... Well, I'm sure you realize there are people who are as into inflatables and balloons as others are into dressing up. Since we're already handling all those props, we cater a bit to them while at it." I thought that suitably downplayed, but figured an ally in the costume department couldn't hurt.
"Tell you what - if you give me an address I'll send a free login. Consider it a tip for excellent service if you like."
"Really? That'd be great!" She turned to Kim. "Cause he really loves watching you and I should prolly be jealous but since I" - she blushed - "reap the benefits I'm happy he does."
Then Kriss asked to speak with the manager but it was just to work out a mutually beneficial deal - if we could put some small ads in the store we'd mention where we got the outfits whenever any of theirs were shown. As he accepted, all that was left was for Kim to decide on what to wear next and as I said, that took a while.
In the end she settled on a mix - there was an off-white top somewhere between a jacket and a shirt with short upturned sleeves and lapels, the latter being navy blue like the lining. Several pockets and a belted waist made it the most elaborate piece of the ensemble, paired with a short, flared navy skirt and white gauntlet gloves. She'd pick some of her own shoes to wear, but the metal choker was brand new and last but not least a mint-green wig in an impossible style, long at the back and with extremely prominent bangs covering her forehead. It could have been worse.

She had to put it all on at once. Kriss wanted to test out the credibility and insisted we'd go to a store catering to anime and manga aficionados, which was stocked with an incredible amount of merchandise - from figurines to card games and even Japanese snacks, sweets and soft drinks. Kim turned heads the moment she entered.
One of the customers cautiously approached her. "Who are you?" he asked, then quickly added "dressed as".
"No one special I think. I'm making a show about anime and wanted a non-specific look, thought I'd ask some experts if it would do. What do you think?"
That was an open invitation to a deluge of opinions from everyone nearby, most supportive, some nitpicky. There was no lack of suggestions, that's for sure, and poor Kimmy was put on the spot by questions about her favorite shows and characters.
"I liked 'Spirited Away'..."
You more felt than heard the disappointment. "Ghibli's so mainstream."
Then Kim surprised the heck out of us. "Fujiko Mine. The noughties' version."
That seemed to be acceptable. "What's your favorite 'Lupin'?" came another voice.
"The one with the hologram cathedral".
Naturally the title was eagerly supplied and Kim confirmed it. Then the proprietor cut in.
"All right, fellas, that's enough. Give the lady some room. Can I help you with something?"
"Probably, but first - would you say this would do for a generic anime look?"
"Apart from the shoes it pretty okay. Could maybe use some kind of accessory or weapon."
Lexi pointed. "Been eyeing those swords - can they be worn so the handle shows over the shoulder?"
The eye-catching plastic blades were scabbardless, but we got some tips on how to fasten one for effect and brought it to the counter. Then Kriss delivered the second shock in five minutes.
"Got any dakimakuras?"

On the way to the car I adressed her.
"Admit that was the main reason for going there."
"There's no evidence."
The package under her arm was plenty, but I was willing to forgive her on account of the reaction her words had caused the clientele. I don't think I'd actually seen an entire room freeze up before. If nothing else she'd left them plenty food for thought.
"I thought I'd die when you asked about 'advanced models'", Lexi laughed.
Kim joined in. "Even better that he understood what you meant! 'I'm afraid you'll have to look online for those'..."
I smiled. Watching Kriss decide between different sorta-suggestive prints and comparing their respective merits had been a high point of the day. Getting Kim's opinion 'since you'll be the one using it' was only a start - when asked if she needed a pump with her selection Kriss said she preferred blowing them up by mouth. In an anime episode that might have caused an actual nosebleed.
"And you", I said to Kim. "Never knew you were into that."
"I'm not. But an old boyfriend was crazy 'bout that show and had me watch some specials. Fun but predictable."
Our specialty. But the props meant I at least had something to work with and sat down to summarize. Not having to go into details helped, but I still felt the need to inflate a balloon five times along the way. At least it didn't pop, which was something.

Costume, check. Script, check. Props...sorta check. The dakimakura would look stupid on its own so a few balloons were in order - and I knew just the kind. Surprisingly, we had some anime prints left. Quite a while back Kriss had ordered an assortment of those to try out but we'd treated them much like a novelty and put them aside - except for the doll shapes with full-size figures. I was certain a lot of people had been using those the way the body pillow Kriss had bought was supposed to - we certainly had. Unfortunately they were quite fragile and were all gone by now. But we still had a neat collection of various characters on regular rounds. Kim lit at up seeing them brought out.
"These are fun! I like to pretend they're girls flattened and shrunk by an evil wizard and the only way to save them is blowing 'em back up."
"In that case I must say you haven't been much of a rescuer."
"Can I help if they pop before getting big enough?"
As the balloons were only twelve inches the pretty printed faces would maybe reach half of what she was aiming for, and since only the torso accompanied them Kim's fantasy was kind of a stretch. Nevertheless, after dressing up for the shoot she inflated one of each type with wide-eyed eagerness, her peepers looking even bigger with the white liner - although still far from the drawing style we'd be covering. Then she unfolded the dakimakura and located the valve. As she blew up the dildo-shaped cushion she paused to comment.
"Is it weird to think these aren't pervy?"
I thought for a sec. Why should it? Having a fictional character for a cuddle companion didn't raise either of my eyebrows, even named ones with voices and personalities. Certainly you could dream of accompanying her on her adventures or visiting her between episodes even without props. A physical object only made it easier. I thought of the special versions Kriss had asked about, with SPH's for extra intimacy, and found them even more appealing. I was sure loads of guys would love to do more than just hug their idols and giving them a chance to actually act that out was sort of charming. Unless of course it was a loli character, in which case it would be creepy. Otherwise it was much like a two-dimensional sex doll, and you know how many objections I have to those.
"Of course not", I said. "And that one's pretty cute to boot."
Kim nodded as she kept adding breath after breath, blowing the wrinkles out of the colorful portrait. I silently chuckled at thinking up a new name for those - 'puff pillows'. Kimber agreed it should be the official term and then swore.
"We forgot to film it!"
"Damn." That we had. "You can blow it back up for the subscribers, show how easy they are to pack and prove they don't need a pump."
"Super idea!"
So we finished decorating the studio and set about doing the show.

"Ohaio gozaimasu!" Kimber said with a small bow before the standard introduction.
"Today we'll be talking about anime - the japanese form of animation, though in Japan the name refers to any and all forms of animated pictures. It’s likely a shortened form of the English word ‘Animation’. In Japanese it’s popular to simplify them like that – as in ‘konbini’ – their name for convenience stores.”
I’d found other examples, but that one seemed to be one of the more widespread.
“Japanese animation has a very distinct look, much like their comics – or ‘manga’. The characters usually have oversized eyes, bright colors and simple lip movements as unlike in western animation, the voice dubbing is done after the drawing is finished. They also often have unusual and even unlikely hair colors, like this!”
She touched the wig.
“Most of the time they have normal human proportions, but there’s a style called ‘super deformed’ where the heads are almost as large as the rest of the body. It’s more common in children’s show, but not exclusive to them. There’s no dominant style as there are well over four hundred different anime production companies, but overall it can be said that they all rely on limited animation and flat expressions, partly to save time, partly for artistic reasons. Often no effort is spared to make detailed backgrounds and it’s not uncommon to recognize real-world places in the setting.”
True. The examples I’d found along with photo comparisons were pretty impressive.
“As for general content, the themes are often more mature, complex and as often as not intended for adults. There’s even an entire genre of anime pornography called ‘hentai’. You might have heard it called ‘tentacle porn’, but that’s an exaggeration even if such things do exist. It’s nothing new though – an old woodcut called ‘The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife’ deserves that title too.”
I hoped only grown-ups would google it, but that’d be naïve. Still, I thought it should be mentioned.
“Speaking of history, before anime shadow plays and ‘emakimono’ were popular in Japan. The latter were picture scrolls used by wandering storytellers to illustrate the tales by showing them in sequence. The mangas I mentioned before were another inspiration, even if they didn’t start to appear until the late 19th century – at about the same time as western cartoons.”
Go ahead, try giving an exact date of either yourselves.
“The first professionally made and publicly displayed animes came out in 1917, though many of those were lost in the Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923. The first talkie anime came out in 1933 and the first full-length one in 1945.”
I’d decided to leave out as many titles as possible as Kim’s pronunciation would probably be a a source of plentiful unintentional comedy.
“The great revolution came around 1960 when Osamu Tezuka began adapting and simplifying techniques used in Walt Disney cartoons to be able to produce material on short notice with a tight budget – not unlike how Hanna-Barbera’s American television shows were made. Up until this time all anime had been made for theatrical viewing. While only intended as a time and cost saving measure the style came to define the medium as a whole, and it’s thought that the oversized eyes still in use came about because of his influence. One of his earliest and most known series was ‘Astro Boy’ which began in 1963 and ‘Kimba the White Lion’ which Disney…borrowed from when making ‘The Lion King’.
“Outright copied parts” would have worked too but maybe hurt some feelings.
Kim went on to list other influential examples and mentioned that the 70’s saw an increase in manga popularity, with many such works being turned into anime – followed by even more examples.
“Then one of the brightest stars of anime appeared – Hayao Miyazaki. Even if you don’t watch anime in general, chances are you’ve seen one of his movies.”
She listed the most well-known ones, again confessing in public to having enjoyed ‘Spirited Away’ and noting that films directed by him tend to show characters with normal-sized eyes which might make some people think they’re not anime. They most certainly are.
“While there’d been some English dubs through the years, they became more popular in the early 1980’s – partly because of the growing home video market. Around this time the name ‘anime’ began to spread outside of the country – before that it had usually been known as ‘Japanimation’. Also, some animes were bought, heavily re-edited and released as pretty different shows. For instance, ‘Voltron’ was made up from three different but somewhat similar animes – none of them having that title.”
I just knew I’d catch flak for that, but a more complex explanation was beyond the scope of our show. Kimber went on to talk about animes inspired by western works and vice versa, a not-at-all unexpected cultural exchange.
“While western animation can sometimes be more than a little inspired by anime, to the point of completely looking the part, it’s generally agreed they shouldn’t be called anime – rather ‘anime-influenced animation’ to make a distinction. ‘Avatar: the Last Airbender’ is a good example.”
Then she talked about the explosion of world-wide interest in the 1990’s, named some of the most internationally popular shows and said that ‘Pokémon’ even became the biggest media franchise of all time.
“Nowadays the influence of anime can be seen just about everywhere, from videogames to all manners of merchandise. One particular Japanese invention that allows you to be literally ‘On the Air’ is the inflatable version of ‘dakimakura’ – a body pillow like this one right here. For some reason they often come with prints of anime characters. This is a pretty generic drawing, but you can probably find one with a personal favorite if you look hard enough.”
Kriss had selected a rather innocent pic of a gal with light blue tresses and red hair ribbons, though the rest of her outfit was decidedly skimpy.
“In summary, anime comes in all kinds of flavors, like fantasy, science fiction, historical dramas, horror, book adaptions, martial arts, sports - or a mix of several at once. And of course, the ever-popular magical girl genre. Think I could pass for one? Anyway, I just wanted to give the absolute basics and I’m pretty sure I got so much wrong!”
Kim delivered those last words in the most ‘oops I screwed up’ way possible, making wide eyes and blinking several times in an innocent and ingratiating manner. It wasn’t too far from what we’d seen Japanese cartoon gals do.
“So please excuse my cluelessness – I’m sure you can set things straight in the comments! As usual, I’d appreciate a like and subscribe! Jaa ne!”
She waved enthusiastically but as soon as I gave the thumbs up the exuberance left her in a sigh.
“I did fuck up, right?”
“No more than expected. Don’t think we’ll need a retake anyway.”
She sank down just like Barbie had in the newscast, only not very far.
“French was hard enough.”

Having gotten through all that, she picked up the dakimakura and pulled the plug before putting it on the mattress and clambering on to help push the air out. She did a thorough job, with lots of thrusting and grinding, and when it was about as flat as it would get she put the nozzle to her lips and sucked all the remnants out. Then she realized it just locked some sharp creases in place and had to blow a little more in before folding it neatly. She created another vacuum and sealed the valve. I admit it did look very compact indeed.
Once the camera started rolling Kim demonstrated how little space it took up when properly packed, and remarked you didn't need any implements to bring it to shape. She went on to show how quick and easy it was to inflate by mouth, although most people would probably need a bit longer to fully blow it up - even with the pause she made for a brief comment.
"These should really be called puff pillows!"
Blame me all you like, but I was mightily pleased being plagiarized like that. And since she immediately went back to blowing, I can't see why anyone would mind. When she was done there was nary a crease along the seams and yet she had made it seem almost effortless. That display of lung power was enough of a turn-on to make her reward for a job well done truly effortless.
Luckily she got it in costume, as in the heat of the moment we'd forgotten to film her disposing of the balloons. But the clothes only needed minor adjustments and with a pin taped to the edge of her sword Kim made short work of the props. The dakimakura was spared, though, and handed to me with a kiss.
"Take her to bed tonight, Cherry. Try her out for me, lemme know how it feels."
She had a good reason for not trying herself and that was being the one who'd blown it up. So after doing our usual bedtime things both me and Kriss had a hugging session with the pillow, giggling at the absurdity of using it when we had each other. It wasn't a bad thing to hold, rather the opposite, but a little lacking in comparison. Though my wife could be about as airheaded at times. Like just then.
"Go on, Chel. Hump it!"
"I just came twice."
"Like that ever stopped you. Think Kimmy meant you should just fiddle around?"
There was that. Knowing her, she wanted me to get the full experience. I wrapped a leg around the cylinder and tried a few thrusts - when that didn't do much I got on top for some actual boinking. I did try my best to get in the mood and Kriss certainly cheered me on, but after a good licking and the sweetest lovemaking imaginable I just couldn't muster the enthusiasm. Maybe it'd been different if there'd been a hole and I'd had something to stick in it, but I doubted it. The printed girl was pretty enough, but not really my type. I climbed off.
Kriss wondered if it would work better if she blew it up and I said right now it wouldn't matter. I'd fuck whatever any of my mates inflated for me - under the right circumstances. Which these weren't.
Still, Kim was expecting me to try out her handiwork so I settled for a compromise, holding the puff pillow close while being spooned by Kriss. There are worse ways to fall asleep.

You may think that was enough for one night, but evidently my subconscious disagreed. If I'd ridiculed Kim for her imagination I got some kind of karmic payback in slumberland.
The dream had me looking for the star of the show, who hadn't shown up for shooting. Room after room was decidedly blonde-less, until I opened a door to what turned out to be one of the dressing areas at the theatre. Not only was it displaced in space and time, it also contained a small rubbery sphere - peach in color and placed on a makeup table. A note was taped to the mirror.
'Good luck putting this on stage!'
It was signed 'Malcolm the Malevolent' and it struck me he could have gone all in and appended 'Malcontent'. Then I rolled the globe around and found myself looking into Kim's eyes. It was definitely her face, but distended to fit the new form, and the yellow hair surrounding it looked almost printed. Which it would have to be to fit on the surface.
Somehow I knew what had to be done and fumbled to find any kind of opening - there wasn't one at the mouth. A tiny hole at the bottom was the evident solution and I pressed my lips against it to blow as hard as I could into the ball. It began to grow and swell at once, but didn't change shape. It still took a lot of effort to force the air in and I could feel my face strain with the pressure, yet somehow managed to keep a steady pace. The surface turned more and more translucent as it filled up and as I kept inflating it I both saw and felt a head pop out at the opposite end, followed by a short, stubby arm on either side. My next heavy breaths filled up a couple of puffy mounds at the top and I realized I was blowing into her pussy. But there were no legs, and while Kims head bore her features they were stretched to fit the absolute roundness and the 'do was as rubbery as the rest. I got chills at thinking that popping would probably be the end of her. She was well over two feet across by now, which was far fatter than Kimmy had ever been.
And all of a sudden, I couldn't blow her up any more. I mean, literally couldn't. The opening had closed and I was left holding a very oddly shaped balloon - a Kimberloon, even. While it hopefully was a step in the right direction I couldn't leave her like that - or set her down, in case there'd be something pointy in the way. So I did the only thing I could think of. Grabbing hold of the bouncy arms I wrapped my mouth around her right nipple and blew some more. It did look remarkably like a valve, and even if I had to blow even harder into the rubbery knob to get any results, the round body now began to stretch out lengthwise. The chubby limbs tapered and tightened in my grip and the ballooning belly grew legs that through just a few forceful puffs went from stumps to shapely spires. Somehow the excess facial air turned into a neck while the hair expanded into a smooth, simplified version of the familiar mane.
It was a struggle, but in short, I managed to blow Kimmy into her proper proportions and luckily the second nozzle also closed before I could overinflate her. One hell of a spell there, though failsafes wouldn't excuse the caster. I wondered if I could sic Power Crystal on Malcolm to dispense her particular brand of justice, then realized I had more pressing matters. Pressure matters. How the heck was I supposed to bring the life-sized balloon to actual life? It looked remarkably like the original and would have made a much, much better decoy than an inflated catsuit. We could probably make a fortune selling this kind of loons in the webshop, but production would be tricky. And since I didn't know any magic to speak of, reverting the enchantment might prove to be as well.
A voice in my head told me that true love's kiss wouldn't do but true love's fuck might. So I checked the floor for debris and carefully put the Kimberloon down, undressed and straddled her leg. The taut, see-through skin looked incredibly fragile and I was afraid even handling the blown-up effigy. If she burst I'd be traumatized for life - or so I thought, at least. But there was nothing for it - I had to break the curse without breaking my lover and it seemed the only way was to go all in.
To fill her up just right I'd had to make her oh so very tight and she creaked and squealed with my every move. The firm thigh felt better than any regular loon had ever done against my privates and a nearly overwhelming thrill fought my fear for dominance as I whispered a desperate plea.
"Please don't pop, baby. Please, please, please. I love you, Kimmy - I'll blow you up a thousand times if I have to, just don't pop..."
There was no reply apart from the rubbery squeaks which seemed to grow louder and more intense as I kept grinding as hard as I dared. My pulse was racing with trepidation and excitement alike and as much as I would have liked to stop I couldn't - it was far too important, and more to the point, nice. The balloony boobs below my own were stiff in more ways than one, with just enough give to feel inflated, and I could swear the unmoving smile on Kim's face was, well, encouraging. Then I remembered all the times she'd begged me to use her for my pleasure, her way of urging me to come against her body, how sex with her was always one of the best things in the entire world. My head swam with images of the ways we'd scissor, frig and sixtynine or whatever else sprang to mind. Balloon or not, she was still my ultimate fuckbuddy and I decided to prove it, show what an orgasm just the thought of her could provide.
Settling my hips in place I began a frenzied rub, putting absolute trust in her being able to take my weight and all I had to give until the pounding, searing pulses of pleasure shorted out my system. With a cry and a spasm I collapsed on top of the wonderful Kimberloon, which didn't explode even if it felt like I just had. And as I lay catching my breath I felt it turn firm and warm, arms rising from the floor to wrap me up and pull me in for a kiss. Her touch and taste and scent was more than familiar and a wave of relief swept through me. She opened her eyes and smiled at me.
"Thanks a million, boss. I owe you one...heck of a blow job."
That was Kim, all right. I'd half expected us to keep on fucking but instead found myself saying something incredibly romantic.
"You're late for the shoot. Get ready."
Then either the fantasy ended, took an unmemorable turn or I woke up. No matter. It was morning and whether it had been a nightmare or a wet dream it was over. I decided against telling Kriss, but later on let Kim know exactly what her silly ideas had led to. Her reaction was perhaps not the one of a normal person.
"Oh, Cherry, that was so sweet of you! You know how I love when you blow me up..."
She kissed me and puckered her lips.
"Blow me up?"
Well, the real Kimmy didn't stretch out like the other one, but the rest went pretty much like in the dream. Except she took a more active part.
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Old 28-11-2022, 01:38 AM
ChillinHaze ChillinHaze is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
This would have been an episode right up my girlfriend's alley, since she's a real anime enthusiast or weeb how they're called pretty often.

I'd say that was a pretty great overview over the topic and including inflatable dakimakuras was a neat fit. ^^
Also, anime print loons these days are quite something! Searching up some turned up some that are super cute but also some which are equally lewd.
Now I'm wondering if there'll might be an anime for looners in the future featuring lots of balloons and inflatables xD
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Old 14-12-2022, 12:31 AM
Harley Harley is offline
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Default Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial
Wow, I got delayed again. :P But now I've got the rest of the year planned out and as bit of compensation this will be a two-parter.

Episode 52

About this time, season 4 of She-Ra dropped and so did Kim's spirits. While the storytelling was better than ever, it didn't exactly flatter Catra - flatten might come closer. And it would take more than a simple reinflation to fix, that much seemed certain. Making matters worse, it'd be months before we'd see where it was headed. Lexi's outlook was sort of gloomy, predicting the usual redemption-thru-death scenario while Kriss was optimistic.
"When you're that low, the only way is up!"
"Until you hit the ceiling." I knew enough stories to kinda agree with Lex, though I didn't say it out loud.
And poor Kimmy was stuck in between, taking comfort in how much backstory would be wasted by killing off the cat while knowing it could happen after tying up the loose ends. Anyway, she wouldn't let it affect the show and we went ahead with filming the anime ep. No matter which road She-Ra would take, it couldn't possibly get as depressing as some of the japanese series. Which was something we didn't plan dwelling on either.

Luckily, a Very Special Episode of her own devising was enough to cheer her back up. I was sure she’d been planning something for a while, but tried sounding the waters as off-handedly as possible.
"So what do you want to do for your cammiversary?"
The answer came without much hesitation. "I thought you and I could absolutely fill the room with loons while talking about the past year - you know, favorite episodes, trivia... Behind the-scenes stuff."
"Unrehearsed, you mean?"
"Yeah! Make it all casual."
That actually sounded like a good idea, with the possible exception of the loons.. But I knew her and that last note was off.
"Outfit-wise too?"
"Ooh noo. No no no no no", she leered. "I'll wear what I did on closing night...and I want you" - she poked my chest with a finger - "to match."
I hadn’t really counted on escaping an appearance, but dressing all the way up felt a bit much. If you weren’t present at our final stage performance there’s a good chance you don’t know what she meant, but I’ll wager you can take a guess. To make that evening extra special Kriss had gifted the entire troupe a jacket and skirt combo in black satin - along with bow ties, of course, because you know who bought the stuff and why. She’d also included silver bracelets with the group’s name to commemorate their time together and both Kim and Lex still wore them almost every day. I didn’t get one, having never been an Angel, and slightly different clothes to cement my status as the master of ceremonies, but in the name of fairness Kriss had privately gotten the exact same outfits for me and her as well. And in lieu of the bracelet she’d put a ring on my finger, so I felt we were pretty much even.
Thing is, the suits were intended for the last performance at a burlesque theater, meaning the jackets were cut tight and the skirts short - though not indecently so. They’d also been worn over black lingerie, which wasn’t quite the house style these days.
Kim had taken that into account. She suggested we'd wear silky white wrap tops that could serve as waistcoats, shirt substitutes and cleavage enhancers at once. The idea also included covering our legs and feet with nylons and heels. I was all for that, and said thin belts with shiny buckles in front might add something too before realizing the lower part shouldn't matter at all, being below the desk and all. Shows what I knew.
The hostess intended the talk to be far less formal than the getups and that meant a slight change of setting - slight, as in against the neutral wall across the room. So we could be seen kicking back and relaxing while having our little - or not so little - chat. She also said she'd get some seats in and I was happy leaving that to her.
It was clear Kim had done some planning, but she wasn't the only one. Now, you may recall Kriss had ordered a shipment of loons for the six-month-jubilee, and the reason they haven't been mentioned more is that they'd been steadily selling in varied increments and to my surprise I found we were actually running low. Not critically, but we'd gotten rid of enough to motivate a restock. And naturally, that meant using up as much as possible of the old batch was a priority - at least in her mind. Hence a proper excuse for the aforementioned 'mountain'. Oh, joy.
Still, it was something that wouldn't take much effort to write, at least if we did it her way.
And clip shows are a time-honored tradition - it would be a good way to feature some highlights and share a few bloopers with non-members. I dug up some choice examples, put them in chronological order and suggested some comments for each, even if Kimber would probably improvise a bit around them. Which still left time for a shared Q and A afterwards - I decided if we shot them in reverse order we could bring the loons in as a backdrop for the main episode. Kim said that'd be perfect and left me to select some PG rated questions from the plethora we'd had over the past twelve months. That's what took the longest.

On the day of shooting I was sort of surprised to see Mrs. Hewitt back on the premises so soon after the last time. But Kim wasn't about to spare any expenses in making the anniversary special, and that included impeccable makeup. We wore our jackets and tops to help Lou get the color scheme and shading just right, even if simply stating 'black and white' would probably have done. Although it might have helped gauge the level of formality.
Though it was before noon Kriss and Lex had already settled in for a lengthy session in their own studio and so no time was wasted in making us presentable for presenting. For the final touches our painter asked us to put on our ties and jewelry to see the full effect, and for the occasion I wore one bigger hoop and three small ones in each ear. Kim settled for a large golden pair in the same style.
"Very chic", Lou said. "Trying to bring bows back into fashion? Used to be a thing about thirty years ago."
I had vague personal recollections and a pretty solid grasp of the trend - more of a somewhat popular accessory than an actual fad. Still, it hadn't exactly been in vogue since.
"Did you ever try it yourself?" Kim asked.
Lou smiled. "Might have put one on once or twice. Pink, though."
I tried to imagine a much younger version of her but couldn't even guess at the hairstyle. Her dark blonde hair was turning grey and might have been lighter back then - or dyed. She straightened Kim's neckwear with bemused approval.
"The way you look makes me wonder if I should borrow Harry's tie one of these days."
"Nothing but it?" her client grinned.
"Shush you. Got the rest myself - every woman should own at least one black jacket."
I made a suggestion. "Have him take you out somewhere fancy and come down wearing that instead of the usual."
"Might just do that", Louise said. "He seems to like the unexpected."

What I hadn't expected was to feel so goddamn good about my looks. I had a hard time to avoid preening in the mirror and only Kim being even prettier kept the smugness from my face. Lou was paid her dues, wished us good luck and said she'd see herself out. I barely noticed her leaving. For once I felt sure I'd make a good impression and told Kimmy it had been a good idea hiring a professional.
"Mm-hm", she smiled. "She pretty much nailed the reference."
I was shown an old 'Playboy' cover featuring the Barbie Twins wearing about the same as we did at the moment. While I looked nothing like either of the busty blondes, Kim might have passed for one of them at a hasty glance.
"So you had a specific look in mind", I said.
"'Course. You realize what a backlog I had to go through though? All those years of bunny girls and this is the only decent tux pic the mag ever did."
I had a hard time believing that, but then again I'd never looked myself. And the photo was well above decent. I hoped it had sold a lot of copies.
"Let's take some pics of our own! Would be criminal to not make glossies of this", Kim said.
I actually agreed and let her shoot me sitting by the computer, like this was what I usually wore when hammering away at the scripts. Then I took pics of Kimber raising a champagne glass towards the camera in a subdued toast, not unlike one of her promos at the Stone. She put the glass away and extended a hand.
"Shall we?" she smiled.
"One sec."
I snuck off and applied a hint of Kim's most favorite scent to my neck and wrists with just the teeniest drop between my breasts, then went back to accept the invitation. Her sensitive nose picked it up at once.
"Oh Chellie, that ain't fair…!"
"You haven't a monopoly on teasing" I told her. "I'd say it's very fair."
Arriving at the studio I found something that hadn't been there the previous morning. A dark red inflatable couch occupied much of the space we'd be using. The puffy, oversized armrests looked like they’d been made to bend someone over and it could comfortably seat – or lie - two.
"That's new."
"Me and Lex put it up last night" Kim explained. "And tried it out. It's sturdy enough.
I wondered just how thorough a run-through they'd given it, but it didn't matter at the moment. It had been wiped clean and looked almost polished in the studio lights. I noticed they were less glaring than usual and lent a nice sheen to the loose pile of uninflated 'On the Air' balloons on the small table next to the couch. Although the multicolored heap was soft in both texture and appearance, it was practically massive in size. We sure had our work cut out for us.
I checked the questions again - I'd put together a list of mostly inoffensive ones and kept the paper at hand. They still looked ok so it was, as they say, showtime.
Kim trained the camera on me sitting down and whatever else you could say about the new seat, it was comfy with just a little bit of bounce. I felt a small tingle remembering what it was filled with, and when the air supplier joined me my butt rose half an inch or so from the pressure shifted by hers.
"You ready?" she asked and I nodded. No fluffing or puffing would be needed to set the mood - we were already well into that sweet anticipation that seemed to work so good on cam.
Then the recording started and so did the talking.
"Thanks, Kimber. We're gonna go straight into a little Q and A session - something to pass the time while setting up. Once again my dear friend Cheryl Silvers is here to help - usually she's on the other side of the camera and behind the scripts."
I wiggled my fingers and smiled at the viewers. "Hi."
Kim picked up a red balloon. "So, Cherry, at a guess - how many balloons do you think we have here?"
"I'd say you've tipped out a 100-pack. Removed any to mess with me?"
"Yes! And no. It should be a hundred - someone once wondered how much space that'd take up inflated. Thought we'd demonstrate."
I reached for a purple loon and began stretching it. Might as well settle in for the long haul.
"Well, that's certainly one way of replying."
A whoosh signaled Kim had already started to answer. "And no way of lying. We're gonna be truthful today, right?"
I blew a breath into my own balloon, the smooth latex expanding nicely in front of me and the audience. If they held up the way they usually did, it would be a great ad for the webstore. Could be needed since Kriss' restock was on the way.
"As far as possible, yes. And no 'what is truth' in the comments, okay?" I told the camera before finishing the balloon.
Me and Kim both blew our rubber globes to full size and held them up for comparison - a perfect time to fire off one of the official questions.
"What's your favorite size for balloons? How much to fill them, I mean."
"Something like this - the neck just starting to stretch out so you can see they're at the end of the safe zone. You?"
I let a little air out. "I think I prefer the regular egg shape. But that's just because they're easier to decorate with."
A technical truth. What I like best are loons being blown to the very limit and putting up a fight, forcing my mates to really exert themselves trying to burst them. Though that's more because of what it does to them and how much I enjoy watching that. I thought about how Kriss would occasionally blow a beachball to burst just to impress me - all right, turn on - and the only reason I hadn't told Kim and Lex was it would cost us a fortune in vinyl. Would be worth it, though.
"Favorite color, then?", Kim said, selecting a teal one. "I kinda like these."
"Red", I said without hesitating. "Though yellow's nice too."
I inflated one of those to add some variety to the so far tiny collection. By unspoken agreement we made them Kim's favorite size - both on account of it being her show and because it would look more impressive that way. Besides, we wanted to make a proper job out of it.
"Least favorite? I'd say clear but they aren't any in this bunch."
I agreed they didn't look solid enough and what could be seen through them got too obstructed and milky.
"Truly transparent ones would be cool", I said. "Out of these, green."
I blew one up anyway to show it was just a matter of ranking and not an aversion. Kim's pink one went nicely with it and I reached for my notes.
"But that was just some filler thoughts. Got some more advanced questions here."
"Shoot", Kim said and started on an orange loon while keeping her eyes on me. I hoped Lexi had adjusted the mics so the whoofs and pffuus wouldn't get in the way of my lines.
"How did you come up with the idea for the show?"
Kimber blew in the last air needed to fill the balloon and tied it off.
"Guess I missed performing - I might have mentioned starting out as a dancer - and was reminded I'd done some light presenting in the past. Was really Cheryl's idea I'd do it this way though."
I nodded to admit my guilt while blowing up the next prop. Would be a long segment if we didn't keep up the work on those.
"So you can say she's the brains behind the whole thing. I might come up with ideas but she's the one turning them into something presentable."
I batted the loon away and took another. "Or try to, at least. You can safely blame the factual errors on me, but the performance is all on her."
We filled the next couple together and if I keep describing every balloon we won't get anywhere soon. Just assume the inflation commenced as soon as we weren't speaking.
The next question tied in nicely with the last. "Have you done anything else? In showbiz, that is."
"Well, apart from the dancing I spent three years in a burlesque show in New York. That's when I first met her, by the way." She hiked a thumb at me. "We used a lot of inflatable props so it only felt natural to stick to that theme. Seemed pretty popular back there."
To the right crowd, at least. But for those it was an understatement.
Kim countered with a question of her own. "How did you land that gig?"
Damned if I rightly knew, so I kept to the facts. "You could say I was headhunted. I'd been in HR at a couple of companies and the theater owner said he'd heard I was great at handling people, so he wondered if I'd like to try my hand at something different - managing a troupe of showgirls trying out a new kind of act." I put in a couple of breaths, tying off the current loon while finishing. "I wonder wherever he got the idea, but I can't resist a challenge - especially if it meant getting away from working with my ex. Kinda awkward."
"You did great", Kim said. "More fun than any other production I'd been in."
"Thanks. Hope you're still enjoying my direction."
"More than ever", Kim said and gave her blue balloon a final hard blow for punctuation. Luckily it didn't burst.
She tied it off and turned to the cam. "She actually took part herself, presenting the acts and all that. But she doesn't seem out for my new job."
"Somebody had to do it. And you're the one for 'On the Air'. I'm happy I don't have to this time."
"And still people have asked for more of you."
"Well, they're getting it now" I said and blew up another balloon from start to finish. By now we had about a dozen around us and the pleasant scent of latex had become apparent. On the subject of presenting I contemplated how we would appear in our suits, nylons and heels. Hopefully more like models on a hosting assignment than hookers awaiting customers in a classy cathouse. At least the pricetag would appear high.
I reached a question I’d had Kim translate before including it in it’s original form and handing her the paper gave the blonde a chance to shine.
“I can’t read this.”
Kimber peered at the line and voiced it out loud. “Ehr duu vehrkleeyen frohn Svehryeh?”
She chuckled. “No, I’m not really from Sweden. Born there, yes, but raised in the state of New York. Though with enough relatives to pick up a word or two.”
Or several dozen. Kim selected a blue balloon for herself and a yellow one for me.
“But to honor the old country - vee tahr domm hehr, vah?” (Means ‘Let’s do these, eh?’ unless she lied to me later.)
I hoped neither would pop and ruin the tribute, but they withstood our pointed blowing and were added to the rest. No way they’d keep together though, the way the loons kept tumbling and bouncing whenever fresh ones joined the pile.
I got my notes back and checked them again. "Here's someone wondering how many retakes we do on average."
"Oh, that depends", Kimber said. "Usually we breeze through the recordings."
"Mmh-hm." I was going to add a substantial but rapid cavalcade of bloopers hitherto reserved for members. As they would inevitably include exploding props it was a good place for the next question.
"Do any balloons ever accidentally pop and doesn't that scare you?"
"I'm pretty used to the noise", Kim said. "But it happens. Worst part is that means a mandatory retake."
A few choice examples would be shown at this point. "You're not scared either, right?" the presenter asked me.
"Not anymore", I said. "Only that it'll ruin a setup."
"Wanna show them?"
She tossed me a fresh balloon and I knew what she meant. I don't know if she picked my least fav color on purpose but it was evident I was supposed to burst it in my face. She took a white specimen for herself and while it wasn't a race we blew them up in tandem. As I saw Kim shooting a challenging glare at the camera as if to ask "Are you?" I did the same, secretly enjoying how much it would be appreciated by some. I didn't look away even when the neck stretched out and put in the strongest puffs I could to finish before my partner - and nearly succeeded. Then the white balloon next to me went BLAM and I pride myself on not flinching. I had to blow twice more to pop mine but it met the same fate and vanished from view.
I allowed myself a smug smile as I pointedly straightened my tie and started on another one. Kim stated it was all part of the job and inflated a red loon - properly, this time. We set our filled globes aside and I read on.
"Speaking of that, what's your favorite thing so far?"
Kimber paused between puffs. "Anytime I get to dance." She looked thoughtful as she finished the balloon and spoke while tying it off. "Apart from that, I liked the dragon. Even if it was a bit exhausting."
That would be a good place to show the regular audience a few seconds of her mouth-inflating Blowser, and I moved a later question up a bit as it fit so well.
"This one wants to know if you ever 'cheat' and use a pump."
"Never", Kim said. "Not even with this." She patted the couch, adding some food for thought.
We answered some questions about the Galactic Heroine and whether we had any favorite superheroes. I said 'Wonder Kimber' while the lady herself was undecided.
"Ask me again after we've done a few more."
The floor was starting to fill up with balloons but we still had plenty more to go. Not too many questions, though. Kim replied she could sort of play the sax for real, "Crystal Mackenzie's teaching me after all."
Someone wondered what her connection to the show was and I didn't resist bragging a bit.
"Well, for one thing I'm married to her."
I let that sink in while inflating a pink balloon without pause. It would have to be enough of an answer - I wasn't about to say she was bankrolling the whole thing or that getting the balloons we were currently dizzying ourselves blowing up had been her idea. I wanted to keep her input at least somewhat discreet.
Kim looked up from her yellow loon. "And as I've said, 'Sweet Cheeks' Riley is my wife", so it's a bit of a family affair."
And then some. People could wonder whether I was fucking Kimber as well if they wanted - in fact, it would be pretty cool if they did. I'm not in the least ashamed about it. And at that moment, really, really looking forward to our next bout in bed. She was so beautiful in that makeup and attire my head was spinning from more than lack of air.
We weren't quite halfway done with the loons when we ran out of questions, so we switched to reminiscing about shoots and talking about specific episodes and incidents. Would be fun but time-consuming to illustrate with actual clips, but the talking was pleasant enough. At times we were outright laughing at memories of mishaps, Kimber's hair dying accident among them. I hardly noticed the balloon pile growing towards the small mountain Kim had envisioned, and eventually we had blown every flaccid pouch into a taut, shiny pear shape. The presenter looked the results over.
"Think this will be enough?"
"It'll have to. We're all out."
"Well, then, back to myself!"
"See you!" I waved and blew the camera a kiss, my part done for the moment. Or almost - I still had to help Kim haul the inflated rubber across the room and pile it up behind the desk. It made for an impressive backdrop, once we managed to make it stay in place.

Then there was the matter of the actual episode. I'd had zero input, so whatever Kimber was about to say would be as much a surprise to me as the viewers. She touched up her paintjob and adjusted her clothes to near perfection before making herself comfortable in the usual seat. She took out a black, uninflated 'Happy Birthday' balloon and told me to start rolling.
As I gave her the go-ahead she brought the loon to her lips and began inflating it with amazing speed and zeal, turning almost fully to the side to not block the view of herself. Her eyes shone with eager anticipation as she focused her full attention on the task and for once it was clear from the start the loon was going to be blown to pop - her attitude in all the previous ones merely implied it, unless outright stated. This time her manners were enough.
I saw it would make for a great if shocking opener, showing the presenter forcing a final few breaths into an already dangerously overinflated balloon. It seemed like the latex itself wanted to play along – it expanded to full size, grew a magnificent neck and exploded with amazing fluidity. Kim instantly followed up by turning towards the camera.
"Pop!" she exclaimed with an almost inanely happy grin. "Welcome to the first anniversary of 'On the Air'! I'm Kimber, and I can't believe I've been doing this for a whole year! Thank you so much for watching."
She flicked a stray shard of latex off the desk and went on to talk about how she really hadn’t counted on the show turning out the way it did, just figuring she’d do some light entertainment coverage.
“But then my amazing script lady started delivering ideas that were just too fun not to do, and I suggested a whole lot in turn. And before I knew it I was on the train to trivia central! I’ve learned so much over this time – hope you have too!”
I sure had. In some cases more than I wanted to.
“Judging from the messages I’ve been sent there are still things you wanna know. So I thought we’d do something a bit different this time. Over to me!”
She made a gesture to the side indicated this would be were what we’d already shot would go. Then she told me she was going to finish right away, so I left the camera rolling.
“There! Now you’ve heard a bit more about what’s going on behind the scenes and seen where all these came from.” She swept her hand towards the backdrop. “And we have plenty more – check the link below to see how you can get some of your own if you want any. There’s other merch too – can you believe I actually have that? I hardly can myself.”
It was pretty mind-boggling, considering how we’d started out. Kimber went on to the final stretch.
"Anyway, that was all I had for you today, except a reply to one final question - someone asked me how many ways there are to pop a balloon. Lots, I'd say, but they can be divided in just a few categories. The simplest one is 'sharp objects'."
She picked up a pin, tossed a balloon into the air and burst it with an elegant jab.
"You can use about anything with a pointy end for that. I'm gonna count nails separately since they’re attached to you."
Kim dug her painted fingertips into another loon and exploded it as well.
"Then there's squeezing - can be done with different parts of the body but this is easiest."
She hugged an orange balloon tight and the air-filled neck stretched out all the way but didn't break, so she gave it another go with more effort and this time it did the trick.
"'Sitting' is a special case as it's squeezing but with gravity doing the work."
She placed a loon on the desk and demonstrated, only having to bounce slightly once before there was a bang and a small shower of shards.
"Stepping is technically a squeeze against the floor, unless you're wearing heels when it's back to sharp objects."
She stamped down at the floor and an off-camera noise proved her aim had been true.
"Then there's fire" - she took out a lighter and burned a hole in an unsuspecting balloon which split open with enough force to put out the flame - "and chemicals."
A drop of oil sent another rubbery orb to balloon heaven and then Kim ventured into forbidden territory. She produced a pump some well-meaning supplier had included with an order. "I've already shown you can blow them up until they burst, but of course you can pump 'em to pop too. Just this once I'm gonna do it - on general principle."
She deftly untied a knot, slipped the latex lip over the nozzle and began to work the plastic cylinder in a way that wasn't enough unlike a handjob to pass the PG test. The rubber grew stiff and taut from her actions, expanded far beyond the rated size and erupted with a resounding boom that served as an exclamation mark for the whole segment. Then all that was left was the signoff, but you know the deal by now.

(Continued on next page)

Last edited by Harley; 14-12-2022 at 12:49 AM.
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