ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

[Harley]

Whew! The weather has been far too hot and clammy for writing about nice things, so this has been delayed. On the other hand, it's allowed me to finish the other project I mentioned - check
https://www.blowtopop.net/showthread...4838#post84838
to see what I've been up to.
Another side effect is that we're back to a somewhat current time of year in-story, so here's something taking place around now, season-wise.

Episode 44

Since we were approaching a new month Kriss had been struck by a puzzler - "What does September sound like?"
None of us had a ready answer. "It's the first month of fall", I said, "but I don't think 'falling' would cut it."
"Falling leaves..." Kriss mused. "Wind. Woodwind. No. But...wait!"
Evidently inspiration had struck as she left for who-knows-where. Well, I did, or was at least pretty damn sure she'd headed for the studio. And sure enough, before long she came to get me for a demonstration of what she and Lex had cooked up.
For once Alex had the lead part, playing the melody on the trombone while Kriss added some ambience on the flute - probably to prove she wasn't completely hopeless at it. In fact, it sounded pretty good. The smooth brass slid effortlessly between notes at an uneven tempo, each change as surprising and unpredictable as the wind, with the flute reminiscent of air blowing through tiny openings - which was exactly what it was, but still. A few capricious trills to emulate brief, whirling gusts completed the soundscape and I didn't bother trying to hide I was impressed. As for what they'd wear there wasn't much doubt - some classy belted overcoats in light hues suited the autumn feel to a tee. Though I did stop Kriss from putting on one of her beloved wide-brimmed hats.
"It'd blow right off. You know that."
"I won't be in a real storm this time", she tried but saw reason.
I told her to save it for spring and the video wasn't worse for the lack of headgear. The balloons were orange and red to put you in mind of autumn leaves and the players looked great blowing them up before performing the new arrangement. I don't know if it was to emulate the gusty weather they filled up the necks all the way but it was a small miracle the balloons didn't burst on the spot.
Kim went a similar route, except dressing for indoors in a brown and tan sweater and blowing up a maroon balloon for the months' birthdays. Having seen what Kriss and Lex did she too inflated her prop to the very limit which resulted in a retake, since she didn't gauge it quite right. Nevertheless, with the blooper section and all it wasn't quite a waste. She listed some famous people born in September and I might mention Mandy shares a b-day with Gwyneth Paltrow and Meat Loaf. You’ll soon see why I bring that girl up.

Even if only members got to watch the Labor Day special it was a very welcome addition. Betty's special fan in particular was thrilled by her performance and I made sure to pass that on. It was during that conversation Mandy told me her package had arrived and the contents been put to good use.
As her wife wasn't too thrilled with her spilling any details I called the blonde for a private report. I knew she was dying to tell me.
"It's a-mazing", she said. "Never thought a doll could be that bouncy!"
"Tried it yourself?"
"Not yet. And Lizzie's pretty much been hogging her."
"So she liked it?"
"That's one way to put it!"
I asked how she'd introduced the new toy in the bedroom and she gave me a thorough account.
"I told her I had something she didn't have to be as careful with and she said if it's a doll they're even more fragile."
I grinned at the memory of Bets accidentally humping the cheap demo dummy to death at the theater. Mandy went on:
"But she shut up real quick when I brought out the new one, because she recognized the model from TV. She asked if it was the same and I only nodded because I was busy blowing it up."
"Did she appreciate the gesture?"
"Pretty sure, though she kept fussing over me straining myself. Just because I ballooned it a bit to show how sturdy it was."
"A bit?"
"Made it fat! That was fun. 'Cept I had to go back to chubby before Liz would touch it."
She described how her mate had held, squeezed and fondled the hefty curves before being told to go ahead and try it out. Apparently she'd enjoyed her new ride.
"But I stopped her before she got too far. So I could put my wig on it and tell her 'There - your very own Dolly'."
That had been Carrie's nickname for the blonde so it made some sense. I asked her if the new look was an improvement.
"Liz thought so at least - she went at it like crazy. Real nice sight!"
I could imagine. I was glad the stand-in had been up to standards.
"And she's been hogging it since, you say?"
"Well..." Amanda looked around, to make doubly sure she wasn't overheard. "We pulled the plug and put it away when we were done. I got some too, natch."
That pretty much went without saying, but nice to hear Betty hadn't forgotten her manners in the heat of the moment. It wasn't the end of the story, though.
"But that night we were watching TV and Liz pretended to be bored and snuck away. She still hasn't caught up with how streaming works so I just paused and followed. Sure 'nuff, I could hear her in the bedroom and had a peek through the keyhole. She was fumbling with Dolly's valve and blew her up in a real hurry! Like, desperate? As if she couldn't wait. So cute! Puffing and puffing with eyes wide open - never seen her that eager for a 'flatable. And when it was full she looked it over, hesitated and kept blowing - even more frantic! And blew and blew until Dolly was bigger than I'd made her.”
Picturing that wasn’t hard - actually thrilling. I hoped the tale would keep going in the same direction and wasn’t disappointed.
"When she finally plugged it up she was breathing real heavy but not with exhaustion! Tore off her pants and jumped on and she wasn't just boinking Dolly but fucking her. Didn’t bulge out as much as before but I wasn’t watching that, busy looking at her face. About crazed with lust, love seeing it.”
“So with you on that.”
“Great, right? Too bad it was over so fast. A few moans and she was done. Good ones though. And then I walked in on her."
Poor Betty. “Ouch. How did that grab her?”
Mandy grinned. "Made her all startled and flustered and asking how the new toy was didn’t help! But kisses did. Then I squeezed Dolly a bit – she was real firm - and asked Liz if she'd still do me if I was that big. She said I could pack on as much as I wanted and she'd still love me. And do me."
"Of course she would."
I'd do a 300-pound Kriss but she'd probably never go that far. Just as well because I prefer her healthy.
Amanda appeared to believe that for once. "Anyway, I said 'the balloon didn't break so why do you think I would?' She couldn't say and I told her to try the original to compare. And she did! Had been so long and she got so noisy and it was great!"
I couldn’t help smiling. “That’s good to hear. Maybe sexologists could prescribe blowup doll therapy.”
That got a giggle. "Seems to work for Liz! I said I'd always be available but she could use Dolly as much as she liked. And not worry about popping her because I got spares."
"Spares?"
"Two of 'em, in fact! Should last 'til I'm back to normal. And if not I'll just buy more."
"What did she think of that?"
"Just asked if I'd still blow 'em up for her. Silly Liz - I always will."
It was at this point my friend seemed to realize she might have gone a bit far in the retelling.
"I know that was TMI but it was so hot! Had to tell someone."
"I'm glad you did. Sounded hot for sure. Kinda made me hot."
Mandy's blue eyes went wide but without a hint of contrition. "Oopsie", she said. "Maybe Kriss could blow up something for you?"
"Got an idea or two."

We finished the talk without any awkwardness, but after that regular Penthouse Letter I had to go find my own spouse - or rather main squeeze. She was in the downstairs den, doing something on her laptop I hoped could stand interruption. Because I simply pulled her to her feet and began kissing. Her mouth was so warm and wet and delicious and those soft lips so eager and skilled I felt my nipples grow stiff as I held her close, breathing in her wonderfully familiar scent.
“Hey, Chel.”
“Hey yourself.” I could have gone on telling her how much I wanted her right then, but that would’ve been pretty redundant. Another smooch and a request was enough.
"Be a doll and blow me?"
Kriss was practically beaming. "Love when you ask."
Ten seconds later I was flat on the couch with Kriss between my legs and if any doll could do what she did I wouldn’t buy just a couple spares.
She got some instant payback of course, but that night I prepared for bed early and instead of removing my makeup kohled my eyes and put on the slinky harem girl outfit. I blew up all the inflatable cushions we had and put on lovely satin pillowcases in various colors before arranging them and myself on the bedding. Kriss’ expression when she entered was worth the effort and wait.
“Someone’s shooting for the ‘favorite wife’ spot.”
“Well, since you’re mine and all…”
She just smiled as I guided her onto the mattress to slowly and thoroughly strip her before setting about earning the title as well.
“Gods, Chel, don’t stop!”
“Say it.”
“You’re the best! Bestandmostfavoredofwives…oh fuck! Keep going!”
I did, for so long there could be no backsies. Kriss looked suitably ruffled among the air-filled cushions, one leg sprawling over a dark green one and her golden hair spread over the ruby and sapphire pillows her head had sunk down between. The covered rubber creaked as she pulled herself together and took me in her arms.
“Definitely my favorite…”
Easy when there’s no competition. Next time I’d talk the girls into dressing up as well and see if Kriss stuck to her word with three ladies to pamper and spoil her. As there was little to no risk of her actually exploding I thought it could be a fun test.
And then she got far too cuddly and appreciative, ending up having to get me off too before I’d be able to sleep. But I’m pretty sure she planned it that way.

But on the subject of women that really might explode, I couldn’t help thinking of Betty’s escapades as I got Barbie ready for the next shoot. I inflated her enough to make both the pastel tank top and knitted grey cardigan fill up and stretch out, imagining how it would feel to bounce on the taut latex. It was tempting to try but I knew I’d never live down bursting her. Dodo had been bad enough.
Still, I made her as firm as I dared and in the end she did look thoroughly blown up – which my lungs could attest – and I suggested leaving her like that for one episode to really make it obvious she was continuously refilled…and perhaps get the viewers to fantasize about the process. Which we did. Kimber actually asked her co-host if she’d put on weight before apologizing for the rudeness and stating it was probably just the camera adding a few pounds.
As for the rest of the show – which wasn’t a particularly interesting one - we'd been growing a bit tired of having the studio made up like a half-assed birthday party and agreed it was better to just decorate it for themed eps. Besides, with Barbara in it there was technically always an inflatable on-screen. Kim felt it a shame to leave the subscribers without a little extra but I pointed out there were now enough of them to make a special treatment less special. And besides, she'd still get to spoil them occasionally.
But since I already had an idea floating around I decided to put it to use ASAP. The next episode would be themed indeed and cater to everyone, not just subscribers and members.
There’s no shame in recycling material and revisiting an old stage act wouldn’t hurt – besides, it would be severely toned down for a general audience. By a stroke of luck Kim had kept her outfit from back then – although stashed away – which would help her get into character at once. The bright blue midriff-baring top and magenta tights still hugged her figure in all their spandex-y glory but the workout socks had long since been retired. Since we’d be shooting outdoors there’d be sneakers and legwarmers instead anyway. A ponytail and headband completed the personal trainer look, although perhaps not a very professional one. Because if you haven’t guessed yet, we were going into exercise territory. And as Kim knows far more about that than I ever will she helped writing a sort-of script, which was more or less just points to cover. I trusted it would be more interesting watching her improvise around them a bit and let her body do most of the talking.

It was a fine day when we set up for filming in the back yard. The cute little robot mower had done its job and was now resting in its small shed like a good dog tired after playing. I hoped Kim wouldn’t work out too hard as I sorta had designs on her. That ass looked far too yummy in those pants and it wasn’t without regrets I made her wear a sports bra. Jiggling and prominent nipples are fine in a burlesque show, but not as much in what we were doing now.
Anyway, we set the stage with the hot tub off in the background as a reminder of other episodes and arranged the for once completely deflated Barbara in a pile on the ground. I’d put her in the shiny tracksuit and made an effort to make her look almost but not entirely like a heap of workout clothes, letting just enough of her hair peek out to give eagle-eyed watchers some hope.
As the camera started to roll Kimber bounded into view and welcomed everyone to another instalment of ‘On the Air’, stating she was going to talk about the importance of keeping in shape and various ways to do it.
“And what can be more suited for our show than a bit of… Air-obics?”
That was my cue to start up the background music and Kim talked about how that helped with both keeping the rhythm and making the whole thing less boring. She went through several exercises, demonstrating them all in turn and probably causing a few viewers to give up at once as they’d never be that limber. While also definitely inspiring others to match or top her moves.
She got back to her feet and I let the volume fade.
“There’s a lot of equipment to help you out, weights, rubber bands, what-have-you. I’m going to show one that’s easy to bring anywhere and doesn’t weigh a ton.”
She reached off-camera for a certain implement and if you’re thinking it might be a fitness ball you’re completely right, only it didn’t look the part just yet. What Kim brought back was a drooping, flaccid mass of silvery rubber – we’d used an azure one on the show to joke about handling ‘blue balls’, but that was hardly appropriate now. She introduced the object before going into practical tips.
“You might think you need a pump to inflate these but that’s not true – and it’s in fact a good part of the workout to blow it up yourself.”
Having completely justified an inflation scene she proceeded to demonstrate the process. She pulled out the valve stem and folded the material across the hole before placing it between her lips. With steady, sure and determined breaths she filled the ball until it started to grow round, then shifted her grip to hold it between her palms while pressing her mouth firmly against the surface. Still blowing she went on to finish the job, pressurizing the semi-shiny sphere until it looked taut, her facing going very slightly red with the effort. She stuck the tip of her tongue into the opening while bringing the plug back in place and patted the results. It made a neat, hollow sound with a tiny twang of reverberating rubber.
“Just be sure to make it hard enough.”
That wasn’t really an innuendo but it could be taken for one, and Kim had likely made more than the ball just that. Then there was time for a spot of trivia.
“By the way, you might have heard these called ‘Swedish Balls’, but that’s a mistake. It should be ‘Swiss Balls’, as Switzerland was where they were first used for physiotherapy. Remember – Sweden and Switzerland are not the same thing, even if some keep mixing them up! Switzerland is the one with alps and chocolate while Sweden is where I was born. Check the episode from June 6th for more about that country.”
She went on to show some good ways to use the inflated globe – no music this time, just a running commentary on how and why to do the exercises. Eventually she rolled the ball out of view and went on to the third and last suggestion.
“If you’re like me and love dancing, that’s a really good way to work out. There are lots of moves and repetitions you can look up but I prefer to make my own – you can freestyle too, its more fun! Here’s something I like to do.”
I turned a new pre-chosen song on and Kim began to, for lack of a better word, show off. I’m sure the things she did are great and all for someone who wants to keep in practice, but beginner-friendly they weren’t. At least they didn’t look it. Still, it was a pretty appealing sight and it was her program after all. What she’d already taught was plenty for people just starting out and since there hadn’t been a dancing segment for ages this was long overdue. Besides, she didn’t stretch it out overmuch.
“So that’s just some ways to keep fit. There are plenty more. Now, I promised Barbara I’d help her get in shape, so I’d better do that too!”
Kimber walked over to pick up the end of the hose from under the formless fabric, and bending over with every breath began to blow hard into it. She kept a steady rhythm and as the clothes puffed up and swelled out it was soon evident what she was doing.
I’m sure many would appreciate the scene but I felt the silent despair of failure creeping up on me. It wasn’t bad as such but the hose really ruined the impression - to go back to a thought from months ago, it was far too much like blowing a furry up through the tail. And as Barb was no furry and the hose was no tail it looked…off. Still, I held my thoughts and let Kim finish.
“There”, she said plugging the doll’s valve. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, Barb?”
Kim looked so pleased after the usual signoff I really regretted saying we had to do it all over. She wasn’t happy at all about it and told me she’d just go jump in the tub. I explained my reasoning and added I thought the final inflation would benefit from a soundtrack as well.
With a deep sigh Kim trudged away to towel off her hard-earned sweat and reapply the sparse makeup. In the meantime I deflated the gym ball and made a slit for the valve in the back of the tracksuit, sacrificing a garment no one in their right mind would wear for the sake of art. The star at least approved of the semi-wanton destruction.
In my defense I will say the second take was an improvement, as Kim was surer of herself after a full run-through. The ball inflation in particular was as smooth as could be and she made a point of filling it for maximum bounciness. Perhaps she’d found it lacking before.
Also, blowing up Barbara looked far better with the doll firmly grasped by the waist. A thumping song backing up the procedure made it seem like an actual exercise, emphasized by Kim bending her knees and shifting her weight between her feet, turning the doll slightly to either side depending on direction. Sure, it hid more of her body from view than the first method had, but that only removed suspicions of the scene being made to tantalize. I liked it a lot and it seemed a funny (and at least marginally punny) way to bring Barbie into the episode.
However, Kim’s sweet smile faded the moment I shut off the recording.
“I’m not doing that over again.”
I kissed her cheek. “You won’t have to – both are fine, it’s just that the last one was better.”
“It had better”, she scoffed, but I could tell she wasn’t upset, just winded.
Showing her both made her see my point to some extent, and she even wondered out loud if the first attempt was an outtake or a blooper. Technically a bit of both, but I promised to put it up with a note on why we skipped it. However, I’d keep mum on why we didn’t show more of that. If I made her inflate her co-host on camera every single time we could likely increase the member figures quite a bit but it was probably for the best I kept doing it without being recorded. It would be far too easy to overshadow the actual content.
Kim still had opinions about being forced to perform all those moves twice and as a penance put me through one hell of a workout - but it was of a kind I actually like. And besides, I was shown a way of bending over the ball the viewers didn’t get to see.
Just as well, as it would have gotten the channel shut down real quick.

[Harley]

Episode 45

So that was it for the gym class. If nothing else the reviews were great and at least two people wished they could get Kim as a personal trainer. I've no idea how that would work out but will attest her motivational skills are amazing.
Since I was officially in charge of grooming her co-host it was my duty to remove the tracksuit and brush the wig that had gotten pretty messed up making the previous episode. Oh, and redress and reinflate Barbara, of course.
As I reattached the hose I noticed Kriss handiwork was functional but far from perfect. After all, she's no plumber, and while it hadn't leaked before it sure did now. Not much, but enough to make me realize it would be best to leave the preparations to just before filming. In other words, I would blow the doll up while Kim was getting dolled up for the shoot.
I put Barb in a rather nondescript tan sweater ahead of time, though, and went back to polish the script. Not much to do there as that too was pretty bland, at least when it came to visuals. I was questioning whether the show had been better when Kim was alone in the studio.
But speaking of that, another Superheroine Sunday approached and as I'd sworn to feature some character that didn't have an encyclopedia's worth of backstory I remembered Mandy had talked about a certain resemblance to 'Vixen'. Only problem - it was Alex who had it. And then I had a thought that would please most everyone involved. Well, except Kriss who would sulk for a week if I didn't let her do something in that vein.
At any rate, I suggested a double feature which would show Lexi hadn't been entirely ditched in favor of Barbara and also put one of Kim's preferred looks to use. She could be Black Canary if she still felt like it. Heck, I'd make her just to save myself some writing. Pretty much a requirement for a twofer.
Unsurprisingly they were both game and I sent them off to the costume shop while I got started on the research, with Kriss as company/walking ATM. She'd enjoy watching the fitting and I told her to recount any interesting aspects later. I was sure they'd find something useable as those heroines aren't iconic enough to warrant exact outfits. Well, maybe the canary but her style could be put together in most any mall. Getting it bundled would save time though.

It was nice to be alone with my thoughts and my coffee and the anti-frustration balloons I'd taken to using. Blowing up a cheap, plain 10-incher sure beats counting to ten - and if I'm not back to my senses by the time it's full, going on to bursting usually does the trick. Making the Batgirl script had caused four pops. For comparison, this one scored none if you don't count the accident during the second reinflation. So that was progress - or a more sensible choice of subject.
I was actually just about finished when they returned and I'd wondered if they'd been dressed like the characters all the way home. They were in costume as they entered at any rate and the sight struck me dumb.
Kim wore the all-important fishnets with a black bodice and choker under a short, dark blue faux-leather jacket. As I recognized the black biker gloves and clasped boots, plus her hair having been sprayed into an incredibly volume, I gathered those touches had been added just now. Lexi, however, could have come straight from the store. Her one-piece bodysuit with a flared collar was open down to her abs and I was pretty sure it had sturdy soles to make shoes unnecessary. I'd expected an all-orange one but this had quite a bit of black details, which I thought worked better. The rest leaned towards the yellow end of the spectrum and went amazingly with her brown skin. I wasn't sure the separate sleeves that only covered her forearms were needed, especially with the golden bangles around them, but they did make her biceps stand out even more. As for her main accessory, the metal fox-head amulet was surrounded by three fangs separated by beads on either side and she had a loose belt in the same style as well. But the hair really sealed the deal. Her natural curls brushed the right way would have looked fine but she'd gone for a new wig as well - no doubt Kriss' idea. It might have started out as a thick pixie cut, but now it was tousled into something wild and feral that wasn't tempered one bit by the neat if chunky hoop earrings. I might actually have been drooling.
"Holy crap, you went all in."
"Is there any other way?" my wife said.
By then I had already risen to admire and touch and they both very obligingly turned to make every angle available to my gaze and wandering hands. Their inviting faces were more suitable for the bedroom than the comic pages, though - but quite appropriate for my office too.
I turned to Kriss, who'd plunked herself down in my chair and started to absent-mindedly reinflate the balloon I'd been using. After all, she was kinda focused on us.
"Whaddya say we see how easy these are to remove?"
Kriss took the latex from her lips.
"They already worked me over", she said and I noticed she was looking a bit flustered. "But knock youself out!"
She finished the loon, tied it off and put it on the desk.
"I'll run a bath" she grinned. "Come join me when you're done."
With that she was gone and Alex grabbed my shoulders to push me into Kim's embrace. Her hands went around me from behind and started to unbutton my blouse while Lex kissed me so nicely it was good I had someone to support me. Nimble fingers opened my trouser button and zipper and I felt the fabric fall to the floor. Lexi ran her palms along my sides and as a hand slid down my panties I knew it wasn't going to be enough.
"I need you to fuck me. Fuck me so damn hard..."
She touched her amulet with a sly, promising smile.
"Gonna channel a stallion for you."
She strode off and I was spun around for some kisses from Kim while we waited. She unhooked my bra and reached for the balloon Kriss had left behind, running it gently over my nipples while licking and blowing on them. Soon they were as stiff as they'd ever get and I hardly noticed the time passing before Lex returned wearing the huge, black strap-on we only occasionally fell back on - when merely 'big' wasn't enough. The dark material glistened with lube and while I was already soaking wet a little extra wouldn't hurt.
She dropped to her knees, removed my underwear completely and gave my clit a good suck on general principle. Then I was thoroughly womanhandled, lifted off my feet with Lexi's hands beneath my butt and Kim's under my thighs. I don't know how Lex managed but the next moment I felt the enormous shaft enter me, slowly but surely gliding all the way in. It was glorious. It didn't feel like being split in half, more like filled up and expanded beyond all reason. And yet I wanted more. I wished she could pump it even bigger, or even better, blow it up inside me. But our inflatable dildo wasn't wearable and besides, the pounding I got was far more intense than anything she could have done with that one. Kim had handed the loon over to me and I put it to good use stroking every sensitive part of myself it could reach. I heard a soft voice against my ear.
"Great idea", Kim whispered. "I need a fuck like that too."
I could only groan in return. "Keep doing your thing and I'll return the favor."
She did, and the sheer intensity of it all soon had me yelling out loud. My fists clenched and I more felt than heard the balloon burst in my grip, releasing all of Kriss' breath at once against my skin. Lexi pounded away until I was shrieking from coming so hard you wouldn't believe it, but she kept going until she was absolutely sure I'd had all I could take. I was more or less a wet rag when she withdrew and gently lowered my feet to the floor. The rest of me followed and I spent a good while just getting my bearings back.
I swapped places with Kim and while I worried about keeping her up Lex handled most of the lifting - I was mostly a supportive cushion, which gave me plenty opportunities for shoulder kisses and dirty talk while her back slammed against me over and over again. It was wonderfully violent and while Kim buckled a bit from the onslaught she still called for "harder" and "faster". Her breathing grew shallow and rapid and just when I thought she was gonna come she managed a request:
"Thumb in my ass...now!"
I didn't think, just gave mine a quick suck and stuck it in. It was like digging my nails into a balloon - Kim virtually exploded with a loud scream, kicking her legs straight out and nearly making Lex stumble from trying to hold her in place. She did stay put until the spasms had passed but then I reclaimed my hand and let her collapse in peace. Her eyes were rolling in her lolling head and I’d expected her to say just about anything else than what she actually did.
"Feels weird. I asked for something odd - just for me."
"Wouldn't call it odd”, I said. “And you're supposed to ask just for yourself when that passive."
“I was already getting so much…”
"Kimmy, one of these days I'm gonna have to make you lie back and just take everything I wanna give you. But it might take a week or so, just for a start.”
“Without getting something in return?”
"I love getting it from you. But I love giving it to you as much. Win-win both ways."
Lex shook her head. "I had to keep telling her for months and I'm still not sure she believes it."
"Well, she'd better start soon. You hear that, Kimmilly? Thinking you have to give to get is an ongoing blonde moment."
Kim sniffled and to make it less awkward for her I switched subjects. "Speaking of blondes, maybe we'd better check on the other."

Kriss wasn't in sight when we reached the bathroom, but that could probably be attributed to the mountain of foam rising out of the tub. There was a whoosh that made it shift just a little, but not even she can blow that much out of the way. So she parted it with her hands and sent a double palmful in our direction with a powerful puff.
"Come right on in."
We all slid into the warm water, but since my darling idiot wife had gone overboard with the suds we had to get rid of some. Luckily I think I'll never outgrow playing with bubbles. They soon dissipated as we used the soft mass to make false hair and beards and blowing pieces of it at each other, revealing not only Kriss in all her naked glory but a full complement of vinyl pillows freshly inflated for us. We sat back, gently caressing whichever parts came into reach and recounting our most recent sexual escapades.
"Seems you drew the short end of the stick" Kriss told Lex, who shrugged.
"Don't mind being on that side."
"Thought someone might so just in case I brought a pool toy."
And that was one of those moments that make me suspect me and her have some kind of mental connection. While I had merely thought about the inflatable dildo, Kriss had actually located and taken it with her. The thick rubber fairly shone in the dimmed lights and a huge smile spread across Lexi's face.
"Ooh, give it to me, baby."
Kriss courteously handed Kim the hose and the valved mouthpiece we'd replaced the bulb with, drew a deep breath, and dove. Alex gasped with delight at whatever she was doing down there, then threw her head back and closed her eyes. Soon Kriss emerged from the depths and licked Kimmy's neck.
"All set."
It was Kim's turn to inhale and as she blew hard into the mouthpiece Lex grabbed my hand and squeezed it so hard her knuckles turned white. I noticed she'd done the same with Kriss and that's all I had time for before Kim sent another exale through the thin tube.
"Fffffuck yeah!", Lex grunted and her wife allowed herself a smug grin before blowing a third time. She had to struggle to force the air in, going red in the face before deciding she'd done all she could. Alex seemed to think it was plenty, though, and writhed in pleasure between us. Kim put the hose aside and plunged headfirst into the water. This time there wasn't a gasp but yelp, which turned into a series of moans that grew shriller by the minute until Lex cried out and shuddered as she came. And then Kim had to come too - up for air, that is. Panting, she reached for the mouthpiece and opened the valve, making Lex visibly relax. But instead of pulling the contraption out, she closed it off and handed it to me.
"Wanna do the honors?"
Did I ever. I blew her into a splashing frenzy, then went under the surface to finish the job. Through the watery haze I saw Lexi spread wide and tilted my head to avoid the engorged toy. Finding and taking her clit between my lips I sucked and sucked and sucked, being rewarded with wonderfully distorted noises from above. As my chest eventually began to burn, my lungs aching with need for a refill, I got such a reaction I knew I had to hold out for just a little longer. I managed to avoid blacking out and came up to greedily gulp down all the air I could get as I deflated the thing still inside Lex, who shifted in between Kim's legs with her breasts for a pillow. While she was busy with that, my own wife provided me a few extra breaths straight from her lips. I handed her the mouthpiece and went into presenter mode.
"Ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale - a performance by none other than Crystal Mackenzie!"
Kriss grinned and made a couple of mock bows from her waist.
"Thank you, thank you. This will be a little number called 'Orgasmic Scream in G Major.'"
Without further ado she blew as hard as she ever could through the undersized hose but there was nothing small about Lexi's response. As Kriss sent a second tremendous breath into the plastic cup a dark leg shot out through the foam on either side of us, passing over the side of the tub. A rain of soapy suds fell gently over Kriss' third inhale and this time she blew so hard and so long I started to fear something was going to burst. And then the yell came. I don't know if my lover had been right about the key but it was music to my ears nonetheless. There was so much pleasure in that noise I felt a throb in my own nethers, and when it finally subsided Kriss gave the dildo a firm but gentle tug until it came loose and floated to the surface. It was incredibly swollen and I marvelled at all that had been able to fit. Lex, who'd been reduced to a quivering heap in her mate's arms, gave a long, happy sigh.
"Shit, if this is what cosplaying gets me I should take it up full time."
Kriss brought the toy back to a less intimidating size.
"You can have this any time. Just say the word."
She took me in her arms and I nuzzled up against her neck.
"Amazing. You didn't even have to go down."
"I'll do it tonight instead."
"Counting on it. And then I'm going to blow this thing up inside you. Blow it up until you come."
She smiled. "I might hold you to that."
We both stuck to our word. I have a pretty good track record keeping promises made in that tub.

Fun as that was, we still had episodes to shoot. Doing the run-of-the mill one was no problem at all and Barb stayed nicely inflated through the filming. Though I did mention the leak to Kim and she said if worse came to worst I'd just have to keep blowing into the hose for the duration.
That made something go 'ding' in my head. The idea had potential, but I would have to work it over in my head a bit first so for the time being I sent Kimmy away to get ready for the main event and have her wife do the same. Then I went for coffee and told Kriss if she wanted to watch it was now or never. She only made a small detour on the way and I was pretty sure why. I'll just quote what she said once she'd finished admiring the fully costumed stars.
"Your fans will be pretty disappointed if they don't get to see you blow up any balloons in that."
I'd had the same idea but thought what we'd planned would be plenty. Though that would be for everyone - giving the members an extra treat couldn't hurt.
Kriss started digging through the huge bag of assorted 12-inchers she'd brought.
"Black and orange, maybe?"
"Too Halloween", I said. "But not bad if you add some dark blues and yellows."
She managed to find two of each, which would be perfect in terms of balance. Kim and Lex set about blowing them up, striking poses as they did, trying to look as powerful and heroic as possible. While Lexi's muscle tone spoke for itself, Kim managed to convey strength by 'accidentally' blowing her blue balloon to burst. It might actually have been one as they did go for full necks. I'll give her the benefit of doubt.
Kriss had fortunately scrounged up spares and tossed her a replacement from out of shot. That one got inflated to full capacity without further incidents, and I was glad to see Lex being professional enough to not follow her example. She just raised an eyebrow at the bang, shaking her head as she tied off her own yellow loon.
They made two fans of four balloons each, the long necks extending from the tacks sticking them to the wall. I'd left cheat sheets on the desk in case any of them needed notes to keep up, but as usual I told them to improvise as long as they got the facts moderately right. And so the episode began.
“Welcome to another Superheroine Sunday On the Air! I’m Kimber, and today Alexis Riley joins me for another teamup. You get a point if you’ve already guessed what we’re gonna talk about.”
The outfits could leave little doubt to those in the know, but they introduced their characters anyway before starting. Kimber got to go first.
“Black Canary started out in 1947 as a sidekick to a guy called Johnny Thunder, but soon took his place and readers got to learn her secret identity - Dinah Drake, a black-haired florist who used a blonde wig and a costume to disguise herself and fight crime.”
Lex whistled. “She wore that in ’47 no one would have watched her face.”
“Might have been a teensy bit more conservative. Tights instead of these.” Kim lifted a hitherto hidden leg to show off her fishnets before putting it back under the desk. “She was popular enough to become a member of the Justice Society of America, brought in by their 'secretary' Wonder Woman. Maybe Dinah was supposed to sweep up and do the dishes.”
“Clean out the ashtrays”, Lex suggested with about as much sarcasm.
“Fetch the super-slippers”, Kim said. “Anyway, she mostly appeared in her own feature, along with her boyfriend Larry Lance, who was a private dick. Detective.”
“Not a fellow florist then? How surprising.”
“I know, right? But in the sixties things got very comic booky with the Justice Society working together with the Justice League, their counterpart from a very similar dimension. Dinah's now-hubby Larry gave his life to save her and she decided to start fresh on the other world. She also somehow got hit with cosmic radiation and gained her signature superpower - the Canary Cry, a sonic scream.”
Lex looked puzzled. “Technically all screams are sonic.”
“Yeah, but this one could break stuff. Anyway. Dinah began dating fellow hero Green Arrow and became sort of a feminist, scolding him for his attitude and calling her 'his' girl. She also helped his sidekick Speedy get treatment for drug addiction.”
“Fitting name.”
Kim snickered. “And then the writers must have taken some drugs of their own, since they felt a need to explain why Dinah hadn't aged a day in thirty years. Turns out she wasn't really Dinah Drake, but her daughter - Dinah Laurel Lance. She'd been born shortly after the marriage, cursed by a wizard and put into Sleeping Beauty mode until a cure could be found. When her mother was fatally injured by those cosmic rays her mind had been transferred into her daughters now-grown body, so the scream power really came from the curse. Oh, and everybody else had their memories altered to fit the new story. Comics!”
“Is it just me”, Lex wondered, “or is that a bit iffy?”
“Yeah - and like so many other things that too was fixed in that huge Crisis rewrite we've talked about before. Anyway, now Dinah Two's parents were still alive and her power was the result of a mutation - a third vocal chord. Practically normal by superhero standards.”
“Better than mommy-in-my-body at least.”
“For sure. But the attempt to give her a 'modern' costume failed so hard a later cover showed her literally burning it. She was still dating Green Arrow, though, but years later she lost her powers in a torture session, dumped him and vanished from the pages.”
“Just gone?”
“Basically - it was the nineties. If you didn't have twice the regular number of muscles and wore at least seventeen tiny pouches the writers had no clue what to do. It was all about looking” – Kim struggled not to giggle – “cool.”
She snuck a good look at the script. “Anyway, of course she got her powers back since a new boyfriend turned out to be Ra's Al Ghul, who's got magic pools that can bring people back from the dead. A li'l vocal chord injury should be nothing for them. He must be one hell of a master of disguise too since he's more than old enough to be her dad.”
“Maybe she's got a thing for older men?” Lex said. “Arrow's too, right?”
“Yeah - but not that much. Of course she went right back to him when he was no longer inconveniently dead, because status quo is god. She went on to get even better at martial arts from training with various masters and join Batgirl in the 'Birds of Prey'. You know, since she was crippled and needed someone who could actually move to be part of adventures.”
Yeah, yeah, I know Babs called herself ‘Oracle’ at that point but we’ve been over it already.
Kim managed to round off in one go. “Since then she's had time to be the leader of the Justice League, marry and divorce Green Arrow, have her powers retconned into coming from alien DNA, been retconned herself to be her own mother again - and back to a confusing mess of backstories that frankly don't matter since they evidently can change on a whim. What matters is that she's really good at martial arts and when that's not enough can scream people across the room. And seems to have a thing for bearded archers in green since she always gets back with whatever version is the current one.”

Alex took over. “I think I actually followed all that. Vixen’s got less history since she appeared much later - after it had become acceptable to feature heroes of color. 1978, to be precise, but only in an employee-only edition of cancelled comics. Readers couldn't buy her adventures until 1981, and she's never really had a solo career. Though she's been a part of many teams, and sometimes brought in to help more famous heroes.”
Kim looked just a tad smug. “Like now.”
“We’ve got equal screentime. But shame about Vixen, because her powers are pretty wild. She was born as Mari Jiwe, the daughter of the local priest in an African village. He owned the magical Tantu Totem” – she touched the pendant – “which his evil half-brother, General Maksai, wanted and after the Reverend was elected President of Zambesi the general killed him and stole it while Mari fled to New York.” Lex glanced at her papers. ”Hope I got the names right. She took the surname McCabe - maybe it had been her mother's? Not sure. Mommy had been killed by poachers long ago. Hope it wasn't for her fur.”
That was an ad-lib, one that nearly made Kimmy break. Lex allowed herself a tiny smile before going on. “Anyway, since comics are basically modern fairy tales her beauty was enough to make her a supermodel - though without superpowers. She used her new wealth to travel the world and on a visit home came across her uncle and stole the amulet back. And that's basically all of her origin story.”
Kim nodded approval. “Nice and simple. How's it work?”
She indicated the necklace and Lex got on the subject.
“Oh yeah, the totem was given to the ancient warrior Tantu by Anansi the Spider - a famous trickster god in some real life mythologies. It can give the wearer all of the powers of the animal kingdom when used to protect the innocent. The general wasn't into that so Mari could kill him when he went for it again. It works by channeling the powers of an animal of choice - she doesn't physically change, just gains the strength and abilities of it. And she can swap critter whenever she wants. The downside is that the wearer picks up a bit of their mind as well and might become a crazed beast under the influence.”
“Sounds a bit like booze”, Kim said.
“Yeah, but even stronger. Ironically, she's been shown using 'the stubbornness of a mule' to resist mind control. Just a non-fighting example.”
Lex put the script away. “And like the Canary she was part of the Justice League, and she too dated a color-coded colleague - the Bronze Tiger.”
“Has he animal powers as well?” Kim wondered.
“No, he’s just an martial arts master. Didn't last though, neither him or the league stint.”
Kimber leered. “Maybe she expected a wildcat in bed.”
Lex didn’t take the bait and simply shrugged before going on. “For a time she was with the Suicide Squad - usually made up from villains - in order to avenge some friends and actually killed a drug kingpin. Had the usual heroic conscience crisis. And like most every other DC heroine Vixen became part of the Birds of Prey - where female characters end up at the earliest convenience. But she was soon back with the Justice League, until kicked out by you.”
Kim pretended to be shocked. “Me? Why?”
“Well, not by you personally, by Black Canary - since the totem had started to make her copy and steal the abilities of her colleagues. It was eventually shown to be the work of Anansi himself, trying to make Mari an even better hero to protect the world from change. He saw the error of his ways and put everything back the way it was.”
“Status quo is god”, the blonde repeated.
“Yeah, thankfully Vixen hasn't changed much - the biggest retcon was giving her the amulet for safekeeping when first fleeing the country. Not sure a change like that counts. Heck, even turning her mother's killer into a ruthless warlord wasn't really a change - he was just moving up in the world.”
“Did she kill him?”
“No, but she whooped his ass good and left him at the locals' mercy. Might have worked out the same.”
“So”, Kim said. “Would you say that’s about it?”
“I guess”, Lex conceded. “That’s all I know at least.”
“This thing about heroes working together – do they ever work against each other?”
“Probably, and then someone turns out to be misguided.”
“I was thinking more about competing. Like seeing who’s the strongest.”
That got a grin. “Oh, I’m sure of that.”
“Whaddya say we do a bit of that? Just for fun.”
Lex looked suspicious. “Depends on what you have in mind.”
“Come with me and see.”
With that they rose and left. I shut off the camera as that part would be the last thing to shoot. They might not be in shape for anything else afterwards.
I congratulated them on a work well done and asked if they’d thought of a way to pop the studio balloons. Unsurprisingly, they had ideas and we set about bringing them to life for the members.

Anyone watching the uncut recording might have been surprised to watch the stars reappear in the same place they’d just left, but their purpose was soon evident.
“Better get rid of all the hints we were here”, Black Canary suggested.
“Shouldn’t take long” Vixen agreed.
“So how would you go about it?”
"I thought I'd get a bit catty", the dark girl said, touching her amulet and twisting her mouth into a snarl. "Meow."
Then she lashed out at the decorations, raking her nails over the nearest bouquet. Since she'd fastened pins to her fingertips the swipes had the intended effect and one by one the loons were torn to shreds. A piece of black latex even stuck to her pinky and she nonchalantly pulled it off. She looked at Kim.
"So what are you gonna do? Shout them to bits?"
The blonde scoffed. "Don't want to hurt your ears."
Instead, she lifted one leg and with an unbroken series of impressive high kicks broke all four balloons with her boot heel. It was an impressive display of balance, and even if it wasn't exactly dancing it was evident all her training had paid off. She didn't even put any holes in the foam panels, which was pretty remarkable. Once the popping was done the girls decided to go find something more of a challenge, which fit nicely with what we'd planned next even if it technically came before, editing-wise.

Yeah, yeah, I've held off long enough. Just wanted it to be as much a surprise to you as the viewers - unless you've been watching the show in which case you already know.
Anyway, the stars strode into view in front of the dark backdrop, apparently straight from the desk. Kim said she had just the things to settle the argument and brought in said props from out of frame. It was something that had been requested more than a couple of times - a pair of sturdy, pink hot water bottles. Lex nodded approval.
"I've heard of those being used for power demonstrations. I suppose you want to see if I can blow one up until it bursts?"
"No - to see if you can do it faster than me."
With that the blonde handed over one of the flasks and removed the stopper from her own.
"Fair enough", her dusky mate said and uncorked hers as well.
Kim made an addition. "Oh, and we'll need these too. It's not like we're invulnerable like Supergirl."
She took out two sets of plastic goggles. While they would spoil the view a bit we'd done our best to find as transparent a model as possible that'd still be strong enough to stop snapping rubber, if need be. If you're gonna try it at home, you really should get some too.
Lex accepted the eye protectors. "Yeah, and she'd pop it in one puff. Not fair."
"Downright unfair".
Having donned the gear the ladies still looked real good and I was happy the glasses didn't detract much. In fact, they added an air of 'let's get dangerous' that fit the theme.
"I'll count to three", Kimber stated. "We start after that. And no cheating and channeling an elephant."
"Won't need that to beat you."
The playful jibes and smiles made it clear this would be a friendly contest, although there was a touch of rivalry to it. I remembered how competitive they'd been just a few years ago and thought a little throwback might make for good TV.
"Ready? One, two, three!"
The inhales were almost simultaneous, as were the first breaths blown in. The rubber began to expand and the openings pressed firmly against the shining faces made sure no air could escape. Even if you couldn't hear them inhale through their noses you could clearly see it happening from the way their chests and shoulders rose before bending forward and sinking as the next lungfuls were expelled. Up and down they bobbed while blowing the containers bigger, bigger and even bigger.
The bottles now looked like improvised balloons and I wished there was a good way of sealing them, so I could have my mates inflate a few as decorations for a party. Just to passively show off their strength to the guests. Granted, they weren't as festive as the customary colorful orbs, but an impressive sight nonetheless. And the way they kept growing from the frenzied blowing was awe-inspiring - Kim looked so wild and wanton I had another flashback to our days at The Stone. She'd often made a similar impression on the stage and there had been fleeting moments when I'd wanted to date her so bad. If I'd ever been in lust with any of the Angels it was her, albeit only in brief increments. These days I perved just as hard on Lex and her dark brow glistening with moisture reminded me of what an effort they had to put in. The bottles had passed the halfway point and the girls' cheeks were stuck bulging out from the perpetual pressure. I hoped the viewers would appreciate the struggle, especially since they for once wouldn't have to pay extra to see it. Then again, if I could do it that well I too would want to show it off. I had once blown one of those to pop on stage and was still not entirely sure how I'd managed. Kim and Alex were doing just fine and Kriss was grinning at the sight. So was I, come to think of it. There was something very appealing about the fierceness they displayed, and as they headed into the final stretch I wondered who was going to win. It wasn't exactly scripted.
But there's no getting around Lex being the stronger of the two and this time it was plain for everyone to see. With a thundering boom her bottle broke, instantly reverting to its original size. What could be seen of it, anyway. A large part had been sent flying to smack into the wall, and this might be a good time to admit Kriss and I were watching from under the desk, behind a sheet of acrylic glass. Probably a bit overcautious on our part but I didn't want to take any chances. Besides, it felt safe and snuggly, in stark contrast with the violent spectacle in front of us.
Kim kept on blowing as hard as she could and it wasn't long before her flask ruptured too, the noise at least as loud as the previous report. She pushed the goggles onto her forehead and looked at what remained in her grip.
"Mine broke harder", she said.
"Wasn't about that", Lex countered. "I won."
"This time."
"Was a good race. Practice with ten or twenty more and you might just beat me."
Kim raised an eyebrow. "Bet I could beat you hand to hand."
"Let's go find out."
"Sure." Kimber turned to the audience. "If you enjoyed the show, make sure to like and subscribe for even more."
They said their goodbyes and the episode ended. Now, some may rebuke me for turning off the camera but the make-out session that followed wasn't exactly in line with our usual output. The kissing that ensued was so ferocious you'd think the girls were trying to eat each other's faces and it sure looked tasty. Me and Kriss stayed only long enough to be inspired trying some of that on our own in private, and spent a very pleasurable hour trying out variations on the dish.
Later that night I made good on what I'd had to agree with to get Kriss to sign off on the contest and filmed her blowing a bottle to pop for her fans. And always the perfectionist she demanded a retake just in case. But that was only fair, since the first shoot had also used up two props.
While I don't think anyone had believed 'Iron Lungs' Mackenzie unable to do that, her demonstration of prowess sure earned her quite a few nice remarks. But not even 'Iron Lungs' Mackenzie can manage that feat sitting down and I had to stop her from even trying. It was good enough as it was, with her in a casual white blouse and blue jeans forcefully inflating a bottle beyond the bursting point with even greater ease than the others. Not that it was easy for her, but she was far less winded afterwards. And since it was no longer in use, I made her put on the Canary outfit just for fun and games and she was all for it - especially the latter.
In fact, over the months I'd had her try out most of Kimmy's more interesting looks for that very purpose. I'm not entirely stupid.

For once, no one had much to say about my character summaries. They had plenty to say about the contest, though. Making it part of the regular show made sure no one had missed it and the response was very encouraging.
'You won't believe how much I've wanted to see that', as one viewer put it. Some others said they'd always hoped Kimber would get around to trying her hand at a hot water bottle and having Lex do it too was a more than welcome bonus for them. The requests for more weren't exactly unexpected and I thought having her interview Crystal Mackenzie could make for an interesting episode at some point. And challenge her on general principle, of course, though maybe not with bottles.
Speaking of friendly competitions, Lexi's renewed driving lessons had spurred Kriss on to get her own education over and done with and she returned home beaming with pride after finally earning her license. She took me on a ride all around the county and since she did the wheelwork, I blew up the car bed. Though we didn't even try to break it but simply made love in the back seat, with me on top stroking her hair while telling her how proud I was of her finally finishing.
"I trust you'll take the others on spins like this."
"Oh, I will", she sighed. "Specially if they end this way."
"Kim's promised to blow both the mattress and you", I whispered. "And I can't have her do better than me. So hurry up and come so I can go down..."
I was mildly amazed she could drive us home safely after all that. And even more amazed she was in the mood for even more later. But that was all right. So was I.

[ChillinHaze]

And here I thought you had put this series on hold to focus on other stuff maybe.

I always wonder if one would really have enough energy left to get frisky after blowing to pop a water bottle.
I'm already beat when having to pump up one of my inflatable toys with the hand pump xD

[Harley]

Episode 46

I keep saying there's no pleasing some people for a reason. Sure, the hot water bottle battle was duly admired, but the remark about us clearly favoring D.C. characters was uncalled for... if accurate. It's just that most of the recognizable Marvel ladies appeared to be part of the X-Men, and from what I've gathered that's more like a soap opera - with almost undecipherable character histories. Black Widow would do, of course, bland as she may be. Or She-Hulk, but I had a hunch Lex wouldn't agree to being painted green. Kim isn’t muscular enough.
There'd been that Captain Marvel flick, but she seemed a bit similar to Supergirl. I'd have to look into that - maybe even watch the thing.
On the subject of space movies Kriss once again proved her uncanny knack for timing, as she revealed a project of her own. Turned out she'd been in contact with a local group of film makers - well, technically a company. She'd asked them about recreating the alien hunt from 'Dark Star' and they'd managed to come up with a couple of shooting locations - one generic spaceship interior set and an air duct in a decommissioned factory. The latter was perfectly safe, they claimed, and had been used in another production already.
"You don't have to do a thing, Chellie! I even asked them to make a script."
I didn't take my palm from my eyes.
"Why. Just...why?"
"It's too funny not to! We already got the critter, that's the hardest part!"
I knew Kriss had been in a few ads and music films, so I couldn't question her experience. Still, I was pretty damned sure she was wrong. But hey, if she'd hired professionals to do the tricky stuff it wasn't entirely inaccurate.
Kim was of course very enthusiastic. Fact is, the day we made the following episodes she was so distracted preparing the decorations I decided we might just as well go without. I mean, we're supposed to be pretty good with balloons and the ones she blew up didn't exactly look professional, varying too much in size to be suitable for anything but a casual party.
"All right, Kimmy, get it out of your system. Do a popping dance or whatever."
She needn’t be asked twice but started to twirl and shake right away, grabbing the sub-standard loons one by one and hugging them to pieces with short, sharp noises. But I could tell she was still giddy after that.
"Might as well do a subscriber special while we're at it."
I handed her a big (well, for a given value at least), beautiful bright blue balloon and told her what would be suitable. She nodded eagerly and set about explaining to the camera.
"Guess what! I've got a special project coming up and can't wait! I'm so full of excitement I'm about to burst! I really don't know where to put it all - maybe into this?"
She took a deep breath and inflated the balloon as quick as you please, puffing hard to get rid of the excess elation. She sure had a lot of it and soon the rubber was more pear-shaped than round. That didn't slow her down in the slightest and with a thundering crack the latex snapped and sent pieces all around, momentarily blowing her flowing tresses back. Kim barely seemed to notice the explosion but acknowledged it anyway.
"Whoo! But better it than me, right? Afraid I can't tell you more at the moment, but keep watching and you'll find out in a few eps."
Then we went on to shoot a couple of those, and her high spirits were evident. She even addressed Barb very good-naturedly on a couple of subjects and didn't snark in the least about the lack of replies. That kept the rapport (or lack thereof) from seeming like old hat, but the schtick was getting stale for sure.

It wasn't long afterwards we set out to do something entirely fresh, though. I'll refrain from describing the HQ of Briardi Productions, our meeting with the staff and the brief tour of the place. Suffice it to say it was a bigger operation than I'd thought but probably puny by industry standards. Still, they had everything one could possibly need for the making of movies. Cheap ones, at least.
While me and Kim sat down to discuss particulars with Morton French, their self-described jack-of-all-trades, Kriss and Lex went wandering to check what went on behind the scenes. They were particularly interested in the sound department, of course.
Can't say it was a fascinating talk so I'll just mention the results. They would prepare one of their sets for a few hours of filming the next day and the day after that would bring us to the factory for more of the same. We went over the shooting script and I found they'd covered about everything. In fact, I'd decided to do as little as humanly possible as Kriss had told me I wouldn't have to. At the end it was suggested we'd take a look at the first location and we followed our host to one of their several small soundstages.
The fake spaceship looked fairly generic, like something out of a low-budget sci-fi show.
"We built it for a 'Trek' pastiche", Mort explained. "'Starway', if you've seen it."
Since none of us were big on web productions we hadn't, but I made a mental note of checking it out - if nothing else to see how the set appeared as intended.
Anyway, the corridor backdrop would be pretty ok for our purposes and the few necessary props were already in place. Mort asked if we'd brought the co-star of the segment and naturally Kriss had it. As good a time as any to see what she'd been up to.
Fittingly, she was in the prop department and at my request brought out the limp thingamajig that looked really remarkably odd straight out of the bag. Kriss realized that too and started looking for the valve.
"Lemme get it in shape."
It was not like I could have stopped her if I wanted to, but a demonstration might be in order. As she swiftly blew it up to size I was reminded it was actually pretty big - would probably reach up to Kim's knees even in her boots. Okay, so maybe that's not exactly huge, but in my mind it had been quite a bit smaller. Kriss' breath made it swell up all the way and then she simply kept blowing until the painted plastic skin was far too taut to be even vaguely plausible. When she plugged the valve I spoke up about that.
"You have to leave some wrinkles."
"Just wanted to try this", she said, and bounced it off a wall. The rubber feet made it flop to the floor in a rather sad way. I sighed.
"Would be a great time to pop it."
The sarcasm wasn't lost on her, but she was sure the crew had the right stuff to repair it. Still, she let out enough air to give the surface a more organic appearance.
"It's just like the real thing", Mort said. "Who made this?"
I told him it had been a gift from an anonymous fan and he said whoever it was must have some experience with the materials. Somehow I didn't doubt that.

We left the alien with the prop master for safekeeping and went to look for Lex. We found her in what looked to be some kind of exercise room with a large padded area in the middle of the floor. I guessed it was used for practicing stunts and that was exactly what she was doing. At least it looked that way. She'd taken off everything but her tank top and cargo pants and circled an opponent on top of the mat. His body was nothing to be sneered at but at that moment I couldn't focus on ogling - I was far too curious about what they were up to. The t-shirted hunk lunged at Lex, who spun aside, ducked under his arm and before I knew it he was flat on the mat. I'd never seen her in an actual fight before and was pretty damned impressed. But when he rose and asked for a repeat it dawned they had agreed on what should happen beforehand and were just working on pulling it off.
Nevertheless, Lexi did the same thing even smoother and the guy seemed satisfied. At that point our mate called us over to be introduced to Travis, the resident stuntman. His grip was firm as we shook and the hand felt uncommonly large. I noticed we hadn't been the only ones watching as few more people were sitting around taking in the action. Must be break time, or something.
"We were just playing around with some throws", Travis explained. "You sure have a knack for those."
"Thanks", Alex said. "Been practicing for some time."
"Can you throw a punch too?"
"Pretty sure I could if I wanted", she said.
"She can", Kim nodded and if I hadn't known about the Incident I might have worried what they'd been up too. I knew Kriss could, but she wasn't exactly trained.
"Let's try that", the stuntman said. "Show me a right hook, real slow. Just aim it about here."
He pointed at his left cheek. Lex obliged with a tight swing from her shoulder, one that would have been hard to see coming at the right speed. Travis turned his head away just in time to avoid being struck.
"Good. Again."
She was made to do a few repeats, picking up the pace a bit each time. Eventually she was told to aim just in front of her opponent's mouth and after putting her fist in the same place thrice in a row Travis said they could test it at full speed.
"When I cock my head it means I'm ready."
Naturally, the three of us had long since retreated to a safe distance and so the wallop looked hella convincing. The recipient was flung off his feet and only the lack of sound hinted he was faking it. It got some cheers from the small crowd but Alex wasn't grinning in triumph or laughing demurely - she was in a stance that clearly said 'come at me again' and looked so cocky and confident I almost wanted the fight to go on. She certainly did, and Travis wasn't averse to continue the sparring.
"No one else here today who can do this", he said.
So we left Lex to pick up some more ways to pretend. Self-defense training is all very well but I don't suppose you get to see many over-the-top maneuvers there. Must be fun to try the movie take on hand-to-hand. Someone would be getting some mouth-to-mouth later on, that was for sure.
Overall it was a very informative trip, and Kim got to do some rehearsals in preparation. So did I, for that matter, as Kriss had kindly informed the director I would be puppeteering the alien. Luckily it wasn't required to do much more than shuffle its feet a bit and bounce a little in place, but still. She'd promised I wouldn't have to do a thing.
"I'll have your ass for this", I sneered sotto voce.
"Promises, promises", she grinned.
I felt a right idiot lying flat on my belly and trying not to be seen behind the spherical prop. Taking direction was a first for me outside the bedroom, but I've enough experience with role-playing to go along with most anything. Making a beachball move felt relatively tame. I'd done worse with bigger ones.
We felt pretty confident we could pull off this little caper as we headed home. The script wasn't complicated, most of the work would be up to Kim and bad acting would actually benefit this kind of film. All in all, not Kriss' worst idea.
I still had her ass, though.

We went back the next day and found the set bustling with activity and equipment. I'll spare you the particulars as everything went pretty much according to plan, including multiple retakes of everything. We'd already met most of the crew except the fella doing the makeup, who had a distinct metrosexual vibe about him without coming across as camp. That's not prejudice but an observation - as if a woman with three wives would be bothered by something like that. His name was Glen, and both Kim and Lex seemed to hit it off with him as they happily chatted away while he fixed the heroine's face and hair. I was more concerned with making sure the set was in order, but there was nothing missing on that front. Kriss had wandered off on some errand, and I hoped there’d be no more surprises in store for me.
Anyway, eventually everything was ready, we got into our places and hearing the director (Fred Fitzroy, who went by 'Fitz') call for "action" felt almost surreal. In fact, I think I'm gonna stick to describing the actual action.
Now, if I'd written the script I'd included a starting scene of Kimber inflating the alien, but since its anatomy was unclear it was probably better to start in medias res, like the more experienced writer had. We could make a behind-the-scenes clip of that at home instead.
As it was, the whole thing began with the Galactic Heroine looking for the creature she obviously knew was on board.
"Where are you, little fella? I've got something for you to eat." She wiggled a nondescript food bar. "If you eat, that is."
The ball proved uncooperative and had to be prodded, but as she approached it made a lunge at her legs, courtesy of me. It took three takes to get it even halfway right, and then a few more.
Kim jumped back. "Whoa! Easy there!"
The alien waddled closer and if you think beachballs are fun to play with you've never crawled behind one while lifting false feet below it. After a couple of semi-charges it made for a side corridor and Kimber followed, but by then it was out of sight. Some clever shooting from different directions made it look like there were more backdrops than the two small sets they actually had, and the end result was the heroine getting 'attacked' some more before following the critter into some kind of duct. It was after all a riff on an existing scene.
In there a longer chase segment would ensue, but we needed a different location for that so it would be shot later. Instead Glen mussed up Kim enough to make her look significantly worse for wear and very fed up with the whole thing as she reappeared from another direction. Giving up the pursuit she found a wall cabinet, took a flaregun-like thing from it and loaded it with a very obvious syringe. You just knew what would happen next.
Sure enough, when she came across the living sphere and fired the tranquilizer at it the only result was a pop and a whoosh as the deflating critter flew back and forth through the room.
Or would be, when the editing was done. For now we just let the air out a little at a time and threw it across the corridor at different angles. Then Kriss cut in.
"Can we try this while we're at it?"
She produced a punchball and swiftly inflated it until it was about as big as the alien, or maybe even a little larger. Now I knew where she'd snuck off to - someone had helped her spray-paint a similar pattern on it. That also explained why it started off so big and wrinkled - the dye kept it from contracting completely. After Kriss had blown it up it had an almost but not quite passable likeness, but as it would just whizz past real quick it would hardly be noticed. Maybe the lack of feet could be overlooked too.
"Why not?" Fitz shrugged and called for camera and action.
Kriss released the loon and I must admit it sputtered and wobbled quite interestingly, as the paint had done away with much of the elasticity. Although the flight pattern and speed left something to be desired.
"Let's try it again", Kriss suggested, drew a deep breath and blew it into the rather tragic excuse for a rubber pouch.
Four and a half puffs in the tragedy turned to comedy as it burst in her face and I bit my tongue so hard I had to make a noise. So much for keeping a straight face.
Kriss looked mildly surprised. It hadn't been a particularly impressive explosion, more of a sudden paf, but anyone with half a brain should have seen it coming. It was actually kinda amazing she'd managed to inflate it once.
"Ah well, worth a try", she conceded while the script girl tried to regain her composure.
Kimber, for her part, looked more than a little taken aback by the results of her marksmanship skills. Having her inspect the popped remains would've been sad so that bit had been replaced with her trying to following the thing with her gaze, losing sight of it and shrugging.
“Guess that’s one way to reach escape velocity.”
She took a bite of the food bar (really some chocolate crisp) and strode off-camera. Wouldn’t call it a poignant ending but pretty much in character.
I was relieved when Fitz wrapped up the shoot. I'd noticed Alex had been curiously absent and figured it was to avoid distracting her wife. But now she reappeared, with a distinct change in appearance - her right arm had been painted a vivid green. Glen’s work, no doubt.
"Can I make a suggestion?" she asked.
Everyone involved agreed it was a nice addition, and so a stinger was shot with a close-up of the flattened critter being picked up by a very alien-looking hand. What happened next would be up to the viewer.
"That'd be where the question mark appears after 'THE END'" I said, and Fitz chuckled.
"The menace of the Ball-Beast continues" he said.
Then we discussed where to meet the following day and to be there well ahead of time. We'd rehearse each shot right before filming it and there shouldn't be too much trouble.

And there wasn't. The old factory had been gutted to house a whole slew of small generic sets, but we'd only make use of an old ventilation duct which was so roomy I began to wonder what it had been used for. For the moment it was supposed to be an elevator shaft and now it was Kim's turn to lie on the floor and pretend to stand and climb on small metal ledges that had been placed in advance. I was happy that professionals handled both the angles and the props. My job was simply to stand outside and display the alien through a tiny gap in the wall. (We did get that behind-the-scenes footage of Kimber inflating it, since it was kinda needed for the shoot.)
Of course an elevator had to make an appearance and was played by a flat sheet of metal with minimal embellishments, rolled along on wheels towards the camera. It even opened in the middle so Kim could climb through after some dubiously convincing acrobatics. Then we moved on to a fake interior which had probably been used for a lot of lift scenes and didn't look much like belonging on a spaceship. I appreciated the addition of having Kimber - recovering from the ordeal - notice the mirror and take a moment to adjust her hair before going back to panting.
And that was basically it. I've kept it as short as I could and speaking of that hoped Kriss hadn't ruined out finances on such a brief thing. I asked her on the way back and she told me not to worry, as part of their compensation had been her agreeing to score another production for them. So the cash loss wouldn't be too big. Also, Lexi was happy about both the sparring and getting some pointers on body paint.
"Might come in handy for Halloween."
I didn't tell her it might come in handy later too. Kim kept the costume on during the drive home as she claimed to be too puffed out to change, but I could tell she was really pleased with the experience.
However, as soon she was inside the door she made a real hammy act of not being able to keep on her feet any longer, hobbled forward and fell flat on her face. I say flat, because she pretended to be losing air as well. And then I took up directorial duties.
"Quick, to the med bay!"
Or rather, bed bay. Lex picked up both my intentions and her wife and carried the incredibly limp form all the way there.
"Administer oxygen, stat!"
Kriss feigned worry as the just-promoted nurse located the thigh valve, opened it and blew. Nothing much happened, even after repeating the procedure a few times. I ordered the blonde assistant to take over and take turns while I tried some mouth inflation. It took our combined efforts and quite a bit of swapping around to finally blow the patient back to life, but what she did after being revived would have changed her moniker to 'the Galactic Slut' in anyone's book. Filming that could have earned back all we'd spent on the other movie. And speaking of spent, that’s how I felt when she was done. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. But spending the night all together was worth any asking price, and yet we did it for free.

You might have noticed our sleeping arrangements vary a bit. As you probably realize Kriss isn't at home every night as she sometimes have gigs to play, and these days Lex often joins her. Just a reminder she has an ongoing career pretty far removed from 'On the Air'. Now she revealed she'd taken on quite an unusual job come the new year.
"Caporal High wants me to hold a workshop with their marching band. Sounds pretty fun!"
"Going back to school?"
"In a way I guess. But not quite yet."
She also had a more imminent task - brightening a local Oktoberfest with a little alphorn playing, like she'd done every year for some time. She'd even convinced me to accompany her - literally - once, but I wasn't in a hurry for a repeat performance. Not even Lex wanted to do it, but that was just because there's no way of making her look even slightly Bavarian and she didn't want to stand out. We did go to the event of course, but strictly for leisure. Kim had advertised it the day before, with her hair in braids and dressed up in Kriss' dirndl. The theme was of course the history of the celebrations, and while Barbara’s costume hadn't been as suitable at least we'd found a green Tyrolean hat for her to wear.
Kriss was for once a good source of background info. Too bad she insisted on deciding the backdrop as well. It wasn't that blue and white balloons wasn't suitable. It wasn't the number needed. It was the job of fastening them to approximate the Bavarian flag - and when you compare the angles of those lozenges with the roundness of balloons, you'll understand why 'approximate' is putting it kindly. But since my wife promised to handle the arrangement, I had no problems helping her blow them all up. Kim and Lex joined in too, as Kriss had decreed a wallful of loons. So what if she'd invested in a plastic grid? She'd still have to place them.
I admit it was something that would probably come in handy on other occasions, and it wasn't too infuriating having to inflate every balloon to the same size. We had the technique down pat by now. Except Kim and Alex couldn't resist seeing who could blow one up the most without it bursting from the edges of the measuring hole cutting into them. I didn't check who won, not even when Kriss joined in. I was too busy knotting, which was far more taxing than filling them up. I heard the pops, though. Hard to miss those.
The end result wasn't too shabby. And covering the entire frame sorta hinted at there being more loons than we'd actually inflated. All that remained was for Kim to get her hair done while I stuffed Barbie into a dress. I took the opportunity to point out the weakness in the system to Kriss.
"Let me try", she said and began to blow the doll up. It wasn't long before I had to cut in.
"That's enough."
"Thought German girls were supposed to be sturdy. Besides, wanna see if it gets worse with more pressure."
Unflattering stereotypes aside, it bore checking out. Sure enough, the almost unnoticeable leak became, well, noticeable if you overinflated the dummy. Kriss said it should be back to the usual in a bit and if I got frustrated with the bad craftsmanship she'd be more than happy to take over the doll duties. That might be going a bit far, but as cameo appearances went it was one of the subtler. I chuckled at the not-too-serious thought of adding 'Barbara inflated by Crystal Mackenzie' to the credits just this once.
Once Kim returned Kriss suggested she'd have a big glass of beer on hand to drink from, but we didn't have any in the house and besides, if we had to do reshoots it might eventually affect her performance. But apple juice would be a good substitute look-wise, especially slightly carbonated, and Lex could fix that no problem.
While she was gone we worked out another detail. There'd been some debate on what to do for the subscribers – Kriss thought some brass music would be on point but I said neither the style or a solo performance would be. Then she said we could all do a traditional song together and I told her she should have thought of that earlier and save it for the next year, hoping she would forget again. I love her, but draw the line at oompah.
Kim suggested the inflatable pretzel float from the mystery box would fit the bill.
"I could blow it up and bite into it. Pretty funny way of popping it!"
And a bit stupid even for us. Blowing it to burst would be hard to motivate but was sure to go over well, although it could take a while. Kim volunteered to try that for her fans, though.
“I’ve something that might fit the occasion”, she told the viewers. “Ta-daa!”
She shook out the folded pool toy and found the nozzle. Without further ado she put it between her lips and blew hard, a whooshing noise the sole indication of the inflation having begun. Soon some swelling could be noticed and it looked a bit like she was blowing up a very large and very twisted swim ring. It was basically what you’d get if you cut off an elongated inner tube and folded the ends back and across, although these had been molded into each other to make the upper surface more even. Kim looked very fetching blowing into the seasonal treat, what with the thematic attire and everything, and the plastic dough was rising nicely. Probably not the only thing that would.
Kriss grabbed my shoulder and leaned in to whisper something that evidently couldn’t wait.
"That's not a pretzel - it's a puff pastry!"
In spite of myself I grabbed a paper and wrote Kim a message to say something to that effect. At first I wasn’t sure she’d seen it, but as the prop grew stiff she paused for a look.
“Whew! Talk about puff pastry!”
She went on to give it a couple of really exaggerated ones and Kriss was almost jumping in place at having her idea approved at once. What can I say? I did marry her, after all.
I’d seen Kimmy blow enough inflatables to bursting to be certain she could manage this one as well, but it didn’t go without putting up a fight and the pretty blonde was red in the face with incredibly bulging cheeks before she’d finished. Then the twisty tube split open with a poof and Kim gaped at the rapidly sagging plastic in her hands.
"Aw, no. Guess I'll have to find another background..."
Since we'd neglected filming the assembly of that, the clip we'd just shot would have to compensate a bit. I was sure the other scene would be requested too, but maybe not as much as it would have been without the popped pretzel.

Lex had returned well in time to watch and give her mate a congratulatory kiss that served as preparation for the shoot too. I’ll summarize it because there were frankly too many filler facts, but Kimber greeted the audience with raised glass and a cheery “Prost!”, taking a gulp before announcing it was time for Oktoberfest. She said it originally was a Munich thing, which had started with Crown Prince Ludwig’s marriage celebrations in 1810 and been so popular they had been repeated the following year, minus the wedding, of course. And so on. Immigrants and impressed visitors brought the tradition with them, albeit on a smaller scale, which over the years has grown into the institution we know today. The locals call it Wiesn, short for Theresienwiese – Theresa’s Meadow - where it is held. The name of the festival itself is actually a bit misleading, as it starts in mid-September and ends when October has barely begun – on the first Sunday of the month. The one Kim was plugging was about halfway through and Kriss’ appearance was merely one of many to keep the interest running.
The traditional opening is a parade and the Lord Mayor formally untapping the first beer barrel – which will be followed by countless others. Six Munich breweries are allowed to make a special Oktoberfest beer, and Kim listed them all. Apologies for her pronunciations. She also mentioned a few of the tents and traditions at the original site, noting that it varies a bit around the globe. It is after all the largest folk festival in the world, so local adaptations are only to be expected. As mentioned in passing above, brass bands are common. Oh, and the regulation size beer is a ‘mass’ – one liter. Which is 33,8 fluid ounces, so you can get by fine on just one. That time I went along to play with Kriss I had one for courage and one in celebration of getting through it and I think I made a brave attempt on a third. My memory’s a bit hazy. I hear a good waiter can fill one in a second and a half – and carry a few in each hand – which Kim mentioned while musing how much spillage that causes each year.
More trivia followed, notably a description of the traditional dress as exemplified by Kim’s outfit and Barbie’s hat. I would’ve put the doll in lederhosen if we’d had any, but there are some things no lady should have in her wardrobe. There’s also a code about how women tie their apron strings according to marital status, but I doubt anyone knows it offhand these days. Our presenter went through it anyway while noting how it’s fallen out of fashion along with apron usage. She told the viewers that these days there's also the Rosa Wiesn - a sub-festival for the queer community, another sign of times a-changing. In a good way.
While Kimber’s ‘beer’ hadn’t been quite a full mass, she’d been sipping it throughout and ended with a final admonishment.
“But remember, don’t go by car if you’re planning to sample the beer – or at least don’t drive it yourself. And if you’re wondering, this isn’t the real stuff - and I can prove it!”
She produced a small breathalyzer, said it was a handy thing to have when unsure and proceeded to blow hard into it for the required time, not letting up until the beep. The zeros were shown to the camera and Kim wrapped up by wishing everyone a happy Oktoberfest.
Technology sure marches on – the first such tests collected the breath in football bladders (and later balloons or plastic bags) that the suspects had to inflate. It struck me that must have made it pretty awkward for looner policemen - or they might have considered it the best part of the job. I also realized we hadn't dressed Kimber up in a police uniform yet, which at least Lex would be sure to appreciate. I just knew she'd insist on carrying a nightstick in that case, for very non-official use later. Another argument in favor of the idea.
Anyway, she didn't use any blunt instrument to disassemble the backdrop but the pin of her pretzel-shaped brooch. She went through the balloons quickly and methodically, noisily disposing of them all in what could be read as a demonstration of German efficiency. In reality it was more of a desire to be done as soon as possible to get ready for the second shoot of the day. Once more Kriss blew up Barbara for the show, after I'd changed her into a more neutral outfit.
"Found the leak", my wife announced. "Not sure I can make it better, the way we bend the hose will just open it again."
"Close enough for rock n' roll", I said. "Just means we'll have an excuse to retire her if needed."
It's always a bit of a letdown doing a regular show after a themed one and this was no exception. While Kim looked fab in her striped top and necklace with wooden charms, the content wasn't too charming. Not bad, just bland. Nevertheless, such fillers make the rest seem all the better. Lex took the opportunity to go shopping because the special basically called for beer with dinner, and the sausages and potatoes she served with it were tasty and topical too. Maybe even better than the fish we tried at the actual fest, though their brews beat any bought at the store. Side note – we found out that one mass is about enough to make Kim find the notes while singing, but by two she forgets the words. A delicate balance.

Gonna jump ahead a bit so you get the reactions to the edited and posted sci-fi pastiche, which we received surprisingly quick. For something done just for a lark it went over pretty damned well, but then again the picture quality and lighting was outstanding. I'm afraid it got quite a few members hoping for an actual series about the Galactic Heroine, which frankly won't happen. Though a few brief vignettes might be in the stars - who knows? The teaser at the end had enough people speculate about whose arm it was and it turned out at least five people had read the story since they declared it just had to be Nixy's and were clamoring to see the rest of her. Preferrably while blowing the poor critter back up. I had no doubt it would be exactly what she'd do - after all, she did have a history of reinflating collapsed aliens. Kim's headcanon of them being a couple seemed beyond likely and I caught myself wondering how often Nixy would blow Kimber up - either out of necessity or as foreplay. And that of course led to imagining them boinking. If Lex ever got all the way into character it wouldn't be enough to watch - I'd have to do her myself. The thought of having a green-skinned space babe was surprisingly exciting and it might not be such a bad idea after all to try talking Lexi into that. Kim could probably manage without too much effort. And then we could make that She-Hulk episode before washing her off.
I clicked to open more comments and saw someone had written 'Maybe it's Gamora?'. A quick search later I found another reason to give Lex that paintjob. If we could get her anywhere near Zoe Saldana's look in 'Guardians of the Galaxy' the Marvel fans would just have to get off my back.
That was for the future, though. In the meantime we would have to make do with her natural color... which I wouldn't change for anything.

[Harley]

Episode 47

The upcoming month caught me in a slump - October is so associated with Halloween I found it hard coming up with themes that wouldn't fall short in comparison inside my head. Kriss was in a similar quandary as she'd more or less decided on a spooky version of 'Happy Birthday' but was told by Lex it didn't really fit the tune.
"What do you suggest?"
"Anticipation", Lexi said. "Fall's about over soon and then everybody's just waiting for winter."
I've said it before but that's not a huge change in Nevada, though growing up back East both me, her and Kim had experienced such feelings. Regardless, we agreed anticipation was very birthday-ish.
"Wanna try doing it?" Kriss asked.
Lex balked at first but agreed on giving it a go. It was sort of a relief I wasn't the only one who'd have to work on coming up with new stuff.
Being masters of procrastination in household matters we hadn't even thought of taking the outdoors tub inside. As the water could be heated it would be no trouble at all leaving it there, though even with the lid on it was a giant leaf trap and would get in the way for the raking someone would have to do at some point. But Kim decided it should get a proper sendoff for the season and insisted on a hot tub show. I put my two cents in.
"Barbie can't really co-host, unless you use her as a flotation device."
"We could weigh her down."
"Don't think it would look good. Or be reliable. And who knows what pool water will do to her skin?"
"Come on, Cherry, camgirls leave loons in their tubs all the time! And if she pops we'll just die laughing."
I was happy she didn't seem too attached. I'd just found out their lifespan was indeed limited, as Betty had inadvertently managed to make Dolly burst during an intense session. It had apparently been pretty traumatic, made ten times worse by her being just about to come.
"Made me jump", Mandy related. "She just went bang and then Lizzie was lying there whimpering. Had to hold her for a while to calm her down and then she wouldn't let me blow the new one up past the base shape. Which wasn't as fun for either of us."
I could picture it, Bets happily humping away before falling on her face. Poor thing - both her and the doll.
"I fixed it of course", Amanda said. "Magic fingers, you know. But she was real gentle with me all night."
I could also imagine that. If the copy could explode, what were the odds the original couldn't? At least it must have seemed that way to Elizabeth.
"Had to tell her I thought it pretty funny and wouldn't mind at all if it happened again. So now she's got a full-blown plaything again, but it may be some time before she dares to go all in."
"She's got my sympathies."
Mandy reassured me it would be comedy gold if Barbie exploded on the air and admitted she was waiting for it every episode.
"Maybe, but don't hold your breath."
"Never", she said, and with that we left the subject. I was reminded of it though as I put bathing shorts and a white tee on Barb in preparation of the shoot. We'd agreed to tape her to some kind of float in the tub and that of course meant I had to remove the hose completely after blowing her up. The T-shirt was loose enough I could make it easy on myself and just lift it before putting my lips directly against the valve. It had been a while since I'd inflated her that way and it felt oddly intimate filling her with my breath from up close.
Then we had to pick a ride for her. As Kim planned to straddle a PVC dog with all four paws resting on the water surface for balance, the doll should be seated in a similar way. The only toy in that format left in Kriss' box was a very silly-looking camel, but placing Barb between the humps would help keeping her in place. There were handles on the sides to stick her hands into as well, so we wouldn't need much adhesives. The creature itself reminded me of the much larger dromedary Jo had used on the stage and her ire at having to blow it up in a hurry after some prankster had pulled the plug between acts. It had been more than a year before I found out the culprit, although there'd been little doubt in Jo's mind. I'd guessed too, of course - and right, as it turned out.
While I puffed up Barbie Kriss helped blowing her float full of air, and being her went on 'til there was no crease in sight. But as the doll weighed next to nothing there'd be no extra pressure on it, so for once it was safe. I combined the two inflatables as best I could and set them afloat, rigging the camera while waiting for Kim to get ready. I'd nixed a tight bathing suit for her since it wouldn't be fair to Barbara and she settled for a tank top and cutoffs. While she'd worn similar stuff before I mused we'd gone through the better part of a year without her ever repeating an outfit - and the way some of them kept getting sold there was no chance of them being used again.
She came up to the tub with the deflated canine in one hand and I giggled at how puny it seemed compared to the gigantic one folded away in the pool house. If Kimmy blew that one up for her viewers she'd get enough fan mail to keep her ego inflated until Christmas - she was still receiving compliments on what she'd done with Blowser. But as the huge doggo wouldn't fit in the tub it wasn't an alternative. Instead she puffed the more beach-friendly version into shape in a way that was sure to please the members and somehow got onto its back without dropping into the water. Lex spun Barbie in the right direction as I started the camera and counted Kim in with my fingers.
She got off to a pretty good start, welcoming everyone to her final tub scene for the year, adding while she of course could keep doing them it wouldn't feel fair to viewers in colder parts and maybe look a little out of season anyway. Unless they lived on the southern hemisphere of course, but in that case she'd already been out of season for a while. So she went on to talk a bit about things happening in the world outside her garden, mentioning a particularly successful concert over in Chicago featuring the return of not one but two big names from the eighties. There'd been a bit of a scuffle due to crowding but no serious injuries.
And then Kim fell off. The sudden splash would make a fantastic blooper and I was sure we were gonna laugh at it in the future, but right then I didn't feel like it. Getting her and her clothes dry enough for a reshoot would take a bit, to say nothing of Barbie's shirt. Kriss was completely unconcerned about that and had already doubled over while Lex rushed to help fish her wife out. Needless to say I called for a break.
When in doubt, blame the dog. Kim claimed it was real tricky to keep her balance on it and while she was still wet Kriss and Lex assisted her with inflating a couple of alternatives to try in the pool. She said the sea lion Alex blew up for her was better which made Kriss ask if there was something wrong with the crocodile.
"Too long and too wide."
That's Krissie for you. Trust her to pick an oversized inflatable just to show how fast she can fill it. Now, this might be where you think we took the time to boink the blowups to pass the time, but I'll have to disappoint you and say we went for coffee instead. We're just 95% wanton, but we're working on it.
In due time we managed to finish the shoot and remove all the props from the tub. Barbie was deflated and stripped but instead of letting the air out of the other pool toys Kim knelt down in front of the dog that had tipped her in. She grabbed its head and pressed her face against it while speaking in that inane voice reserved for pets.
"'Oo's been a bad boy? That's right, 'oo have. Mommy's gonna see just have bad a boy 'oo can be."
She kissed its nose and picked it up to be carried off. Lex followed, taking the sea lion along.
"If you thought she was a good rider you ain't seen nothing yet."
They vanished to god-knows-where or some convenient bedroom, take your pick. And I was left alone in the poolhouse with Kriss, who was holding out an empty swim ring to me with a fornlorn, puppy-dog expression.
"Chellie? Could you blow this up for me?"
Of course I could. Happy to, especially as she kept watching me with the most grateful, adorable look which banished any memories of having to help my little brother at the beach. This was completely different, and my lover smiled so sweetly when I plugged her toy I was sure she wasn't planning on bathing even as she stripped down to her skivvies. She got onto the inflatable lounger, recently refilled nice and tight, and pushed down on the ring until it was folded in the middle. Then she straddled it and as her bra hit my face I couldn't get out of my own clothes fast enough. I grabbed the croc filled with her breath but found it impossible to hump without frustration - it was simply too wide. So I rose and pulled its tail up between my legs to rub against while putting my other hand to good use. Watching my wife enjoy herself bouncing on the tube with closed eyes compensated for a lot and when she beckoned me over I found her lips were about level with my chest...a fact she shamelessly capitalized on.
For a fleeting moment it struck me I was masturbating with an inflatable crocodile and just as it was about to get weird I was hit by how nicely Kriss was sucking my tit and all reason went out the window in a wave of utter pleasure as I went all in on the job. The puffy plastic pressed so good against my pussy while I tickled the clit I couldn't hold back long and when my lover took a breast in both hands and tried blowing it up I more or less popped straight away. As soon as could I was all over her and soon she did the same atop the creaking ring, drowning out its noises with her own.
I'm sure there were some corny endearments but the thing I remember doing was telling Kriss it felt kinda odd having used the croc the way I just did.
"It just says don't use as a flotation device - pretty sure there's nothing about that. Besides, if you're not supposed to float on it, what can you do with it?"
"That, it seems."
"Exactly! Let's try something else they don't recommend against. How about I rest my head between the humps of that camel while you fuck my face?"
It took some propping up and arranging, but it could be done. And it didn't feel weird at all. In fact, it felt awesome.

As we found the kitchen deserted me and Kriss took it on ourselves to make dinner. I'd barely brought the pasta water to a boil before Alex appeared in a military cap with her trumpet in her hands. She took up position by the door and began to play 'Taps' as Kim solemnly marched in, carrying the crumpled remains of the dog and the sea lion in front of her. She slowly crossed the floor and ceremoniously dumped the PVC in the trash before saluting the can as the song finished.
"They fought valiantly", she stated.
Kriss regained her composure and asked if the quality had been that bad.
"The opposite", Lex said. "Put up real resistance."
I couldn't help myself. "As befits a navy seal."
"Yeah", Kim giggled, "and once it went I naturally had to put the dog down the same way. I'm actually a bit sore."
"Lemme guess", I said. "In your privates?"
And that's when Kriss hit me with the lettuce and Lex took over K.P. Just as well, really.

But speaking of her prowess, I did actually have a point in describing Lexi's stunt fight. About a week later she got a call from Travis, acting as a go-between. His friend, who'd been watching their antics, was a casting scout visiting from L.A. and he thought Lex would be perfect for a bit part in a movie that was under pre-production. He'd shown some footage to the director and the star and they were quite interested - the thing was a bit of a homage to the blaxploitation films of old and even if it was an indie project it would be starring Dexter Jonez, who'd be doing it because he loved the idea of an action film in that style. They'd hadn't found anyone with the right build and skills to play a sassy female assassin yet, at least not anyone willing to work within the tight budget, and wondered if Alex would be interested in auditioning.
Needless to say, she was. It was agreed she'd go there the Thursday after next and Kriss would be more than happy to take her. The whole thing worked wonders for her take on 'anticipation' and she finished the arrangement the same night. It called for two trumpets and the balloons she selected at random (blue and pink) were blown so tight you couldn't help but anticipate a pop at any moment. The main musical effect came from brief pauses before the 'to you' part, which you certainly knew would come but dragging it out just a bit did add some tension. Certainly better than what I could think up and any deviation from the standard technically counted as a new arrangement. Lex and Kriss wore leather jackets and jeans for the taping and Kim followed suit for her segment. Her balloon was purple and she too carefully inflated it to the max, with no accident in either instance. They're supposed to stand up to some overinflation anyway.
After that the resident musicians vacated the studio so Kimber could do the next couple of episodes in the same session. We wanted to get ahead on the posting schedule and make a few in advance. By now you know the drill so let me just say there was nothing particularly interesting about the shoot except what came afterwards. Me and her, for a start.
She went straight from the seat into my arms and the kiss I got was so sweet and hot I knew she could use a little something extra. I put my hands on her ass and pulled to indicate I wanted to lift her and with a small leap she put her legs around my waist. Kim moaned in genuine anticipation as I carried her to the bed and got down on top, still tightly encircled. After five or six gentle thrusts it was clear our trousers had to go, but that was quick work and I took the opportunity to grab a few eleven-inchers leftover from the current decorations. I handed her a red one and she immediately began to inflate it next to my head while I began moving my hips again. With my face buried in her hair and kissing her neck I couldn't see it fill up but heard everything real close - the sounds of her breath rushing into the balloon and the latex stretching out amplified beyomd belief. Now and then the hard exhales were replaced by sighs and gasps and there was the rubbery wheeze of air being released between puffs. I felt her entire body tense up as Kim struggled to push more air into the apparently overblown balloon and then she froze and sorta relaxed to the parping noise of a loon flying off through the room. All the tension was gone and I felt almost offended, as if she'd farted on purpose. It sure hadn't worked wonders for her either.
"Why'd ya do that?"
A hint of anguish passed over Kim's face. "Wanted to protect your ear."
I reach for another balloon. "I can handle that and more. Now do it - all the way!"
We both started over with even more determination than before. There were still pauses and releases, but less of those as the sounds of pleasure grew intense and when she went stiff all over I counted four shrill, shallow balloon-less breaths before a giant gasp she blew out as hard as she could, her calves squeezing the air out of me as well. A bang and a scream rang out and the stinging in my ear was a small price to pay for the triumphant feeling at having made Kim shudder all over so magnificently. Her arms went around me and I got smooches all over my face before she sighed against my cheek.
"You know I come so much harder when I blow..."
"I know, Kimmy-coo. So finish the rest of these while I blow you..."
I passed the last of the batch into her palm as I went down and once again heard more than saw what happened. I didn't need the visuals for my hand to slip between my legs and move in concert with the soundtrack as balloon after balloon were blown to bursting not too far away. Now there was very little holding back, with sharp snaps and pops followed by delighted groans that matched the twitches and thrusts below and in front of me. I hoped she could hear me as well as I told her the absolute truth.
"Love licking you. Love how you taste. Love what it does to you..."
I got another explosion in response but the whine afterwards was heartfelt enough to count, heating me even more as my fingers kept on working. The next and final balloon was blown up with powerful puffs, Kim pausing between each to enjoy herself, savor the process and save it up for the right time. Eventually there was a long, violent exhale that failed to break the balloon and the almost desperately quick inhale that preceded the next blow proved she was right on the edge. I gave her clit a hard, tender suck to finish her off and Kim ended the balloon with a blast and a shriek that shook me to the core, forcing me into a final, frenzied rub to get off just as good before collapsing next to her.
Not much can or need to be said after something like that but Kim managed a few words.
"Want you in my bed..."
So we gathered up or clothes and hand in hand stumbled off to their bedroom, where there were blankets and pillows and space enough for a proper afterglow. Not that we needed the space. After all the snuggling and kissing and 'I-love-you-so-much' we could handle we got around to talking about the shows we'd just done and what to go for next. I thought it a good time to bring up the idea that had been rattling around in my skull.
"Been thinking about the leak - maybe we could do something with it. Like Barbie ruining a serious occasion by slowly deflating."
Kim gasped. "Been thinking the same thing!"
"Really?"
"Course! That'd be fun! And look fun."
"Well, that settles it then."
"Serves her right", Kim said. "No fun having to match her limited wardrobe. Wanna dress up more. Wanna...get a bit formal."
I read her grin. "As in wearing I-sure-know-what?"
She nodded. "It's been months after all. Have you tired of it?"
It had only been that long on the show, but I still had to reassure her. "No, never! Just don't wanna tire you out."
"Like that's gonna happen."
I caressed her neck with a single finger. "To be honest I kinda miss it."
Kim's eyes lit up with mischievous delight. "Is this a wardrobe emergency?"
"No hurry. But I won't protest whenever you want wear one, to tease or to please. I love everything you do to me."
"Got so many things to do to you!"
She leaped out of bed and went for the closet. And I didn't protest one bit. Not once in the next hour.

With the regular stuff edited and done we were free to plan ahead a bit. Kim was adamant the deflation scene should be something of an event while I wasn't so sure. I thought having it happen out of the blue could spice up an otherwise unremarkable script. She, however, seemed to have thought up a setting of her own. Or as she put it:
"It would be funnier in tuxes. All formal and dignified and then... pssssssss." She began to giggle.
I smiled at the image. "Good point but we don't have any in her size."
"We don't?"
Turned out we did. Kriss had scoured the second-hand listings for appropriate stuff and among other things scored at least a shirt, waistcoat and jacket that'd fit. The cut was a bit out of style but no matter. I asked to see what else they'd bought.
Kim relented. "Oh, all right."
The ties she produced looked vintage, being hand-tied and all. But they couldn't be that old, even if Kim's idea had been inspired by days of yore.
"I looked it up", she said. "Did you know that like ninety years ago the radio presenters at BBC had to wear black tie to work? Even if no one could see them?"
"Sounds plausible. Guess they thought it would put them in a suitable mood."
"Precisely! Let's do something along those lines."
"I think I just got an idea."
And I had. The last time they'd worn suits hadn't been very serious, so alluding to that would set the stage nicely. And set up the joke as well. We decided to shoot it while our mates were in L.A. so we'd have something to cheer them up with if the audition was a bust. And when that day came and we'd seen them off no time was wasted in setting up the scene.
I confess it wasn't my first time dressing up an inflatable doll in that kind of finery but Barbie had never worn something as dapper. The shirt was the only thing that had to be buttoned around her deflated curves - the rest would be easier to put on when she'd been filled with air. So I finished that job and went about blowing her up. The creased white cotton straightened out neatly and I closed the valve to add the waistcoat and jacket. Afterwards I blew her up some more for good measure and heard the fabric creak as she expanded to full size. The collar was nice and tight around her neck and I deftly tied the bow only to realize I'd made it uneven and had to start over. Eventually it looked just right and I brushed her hair to make look it as proper as her attire. Good thing the desk was in place as she wore nothing below the waist. It didn't matter and would help with the handling of the hose anyway.
Kim, however, was fully dressed when she showed up and my heart skipped a beat. I don't think I'd ever seen her look as professional and sexy at once. The black tuxedo jacket was closed with a single button, leaving much of her severe waistcoat visible, and the bow tie was immaculate at the top of the white wing-tip shirt. She wore a folded handkerchief in the breast pocket and her hair was done up and tied back just enough to keep any strands from falling into her face.
"Not bad", she said at the sight of the doll, echoing my thoughts in some small way. "But its missing something."
She took out another hankie and folded it to fit in Barbie's pocket and match her own. As she sat down next to her I bit my lip at the sheer ridiculousness of the scene. If this worked it would be hella funny.
But that was a big 'if'. See if you can spot the thing we hadn't thought of. I'll give you a hint - with me regulating the airflow behind Barbie, who was going to see if it looked right for the camera? Answer: No one.
"We'll just have to do a bunch of retakes and see if any works", Kim shrugged.
I agreed it was better than nothing while kicking myself for not seeing the problem at once. Setting up the lights and angle was child's play in comparison, but we had to make do. Then I got the recording rolling and took up position behind Barb. I told Kim ready when you are and she straightened her coat and tie a final time before addressing the viewers.
"Good afternoon and welcome to 'On the Air'. I am Kimber and as usual I am joined by Barbara." She acknowledged the doll's presence with a small gesture. "It has come to my attention that our last attempt at a news broadcast has been derided as 'unserious' and 'cheap prop comedy'. These impressions will have to be rectified. I can assure you that this time there will be no silly allusions or lame visual aids - only good, old-fashioned reporting. Let us begin with a look at the situation on Wall Street. Investors claim to have seen a decrease in..."
Here I took my thumb off the hose and with a discreet hissing Barbie began to lose air. A glance upward showed her head nodding forwards and as the shoulders began to sag I nudged Kim, who pretended to take notice as she finished her sentence.
"Excuse me."
She picked up the hose and very pointedly reinflated her colleague before plugging the hose and putting it out of view, then went on as if nothing had happened.
"The cause of this sudden drop is hitherto unknown, although economic advisors maintain we can expect increased inflation rates in the near future."
That particular bit was just about certain. I heard the rustle of Kimber turning a page.
"In international news, rumors concerning the fate of the 'Lusitania' have surfaced after more than a hundred years. The British ocean liner went down in 1915 after being struck by a German torpedo, taking nearly twelve hundred passengers and crew with it. The long-standing theory has been that the sudden loss of buoyancy can be attributed to the masses of water rushing in causing the steam boilers to blow up."
It was here Kimber realized a more recent loss of pressure was in progress and watched the proceedings in silence for a second or two.
"Pardon me another moment."
The reinflation was repeated and while Kim still appeared stately and stern the situation was clearly starting to wear on her patience. She blew in long, measured breaths and Barb rose accordingly, but the final puff was delivered with some force and finality, taking extra effort since the suit had been filled to the max. I silently wondered what would happen if Barbie's body should burst inside a set of clothes - if the garments would briefly stay inflated or instantly fall down along with their contents. I hoped she wouldn't explode during this session or we'd accidentally create something we'd never, ever be able to top, even if it would be absolutely hilarious.
Kim put the hose away and resumed her coverage.
"Recent research claims that the British government knew about the sinking ahead of time but allowed it to happen to avoid revealing the extent of their espionage branches."
Or 'having their cover blown', but that didn't really fit with the archaic language I had Kimber use. She turned another page.
"On to sporting events. Yesterday, drama struck a cross-country race in Athens, Georgia, when noted runner Tatiana Smithers collapsed along the final stretch to the finishing line."
As the subject changed the just-inflated doll immediately began to lose air, more rapidly this time. It kept sinking and sinking without as much a glance from the presenter, who soldiered on through the script.
"Medics in attendance rushed to the scene and administered CPR, saving the athlete's life. It remains to be seen whether Ms. Smithers will make a full recovery."
At this point Kim discovered the flat pile of clothes next to her on the desk and took on an admonishing tone.
"I fear our program isn't going to plan. This has been quite a letdown, Barbara."
She picked up the hose and turned to the viewers. "I apologize for my colleague's behavior. If you despite her efforts still enjoyed the broadcast a like or subscribe would be much appreciated. I promise we'll do better in the future. A very good evening to all of you from us here 'On the Air'."
With that she seemed to forget the camera altogether and wrapped her lips around the tube, starting to puff away with her usual demeanor. The picture would fade out here, with Kimber in the middle of reinflating her co-host. But since we couldn't be sure it had looked good on camera we would have to do the whole thing over. And over, if necessary. I stole away to make sure everything could be seen in the viewfinder and by the time I got back Kim had blown Barbie all the way back into shape. I adjusted the doll's clothes and hid myself again, and so the retakes began.
All in all we did four whole run-throughs, with a couple of slip-ups for good measure. There was a lot of passing the hose back and forth between the hissing and huffing and puffing, and eventually I decided the moment of truth had come and we should go check what we had. Since there'd been no kissing in preparation I made up for it with interest after turning off the camera. Kim reciprocated at some length before telling me she thought Barbie could use some cuddles too.
"I don't think she's in shape for it", I said, indicating the deflated heap.
"I'll take care of that", the blonde beauty said, grabbed the hose and blew into it while looking at me very suggestively, completely at odds with her sophisticated attire. She detached the doll and pushed it into my arms.
"Give her a good hump. On general principle."
I hesitated. I was more in the mood for some shenanigans with the inflatress, but there was no reason this couldn't be part of it. I lay down on the mattress atop the plump figure and felt her give in slightly to my weight. I hugged her close.
"You sure are dressed to impress, Barb. A skirt with that and you'd be an amazing cuddle companion."
And god help me, I would cuddle her but good if none of my mates were around. Though she'd be a poor substitute for Kim, who kept urging me to go further.
"Go on, Chellie. I know you want to..." she teased.
"And now I know they can pop."
Kim shrugged. "So what? I think today she's proved she can't be trusted."
"Kimmy, if I'd been alone I might have gotten off hard with her. But it's kinda frustrating with you within reach, looking like that."
"Will this help?" she grinned, swiftly undoing her tie and opening her collar.
I sighed. "It's never been about the clothes." I gave the doll a good squeeze and nuzzle. "Barbie's nice, but I'm kinda anxious to see what we've got."
She gave in. "Me too. Let's go check!"
Watching in the cam wouldn't give a fair view so we hooked it up to the TV and my spirits sank about as thoroughly as Barbie had. The timing of the deflation and Kim's reaction were both way off, and only slightly better the second time. I wished there'd been someone in the room to direct, or better yet, handle the hose while I signaled. It was after all sort of my responsibility.
"There's still hope", Kim said as the first retake began. It was better, but not good enough. And Barb rose rather jerkily while being blown back up, which ruined the flow. Maybe it hadn't been such a great idea after all.
The third time luckily turned out to be the charm. By now Kimber's slight annoyance seemed natural, neither suppressed or accentuated, and the sinking and rising of Barbie felt about right. The second reinflation was even better, with the barely disguised exasperation increased just a tiny bit. And Kim dropping the act entirely after her final line and blowing the doll up in sheer frustration worked wonderfully - cutting that off was going to be a clear case of kill your darlings. We watched the rest of course but nothing was improved and their impeccable outfits had gotten slightly disheveled as well. That didn't matter, since we had a working take. A genuinely good one, no less. I grabbed Kim's face and kissed her with both relief and affection.
"Well done, love. You pulled it off."
"We did", she said. "I'm getting a bit hungry - why don't we go change for dinner? Or you do. I'll just freshen up, because I'll be wearing this."
I tilted my head. "So it's to be black tie?"
"Not necessarily. Why not put on a nice dress instead? Been too long since you wore one..."
Might be something to that, so I hit the shower and heeded her advice before heading to the dining room. What to eat wouldn't be an issue since we'd picked up a bowl each of those mix-your-own salads at a buffet on the way back from the airport, so I just set the table nicely, dimmed the lights and uncorked a bottle of white we both enjoyed. Which was a little premature, since it was some time before Kim showed up.
It was worth the wait. While her clothes remained the same, gone was the strict professionalism, replaced by elegant makeup and hair brushed silky smooth around dangling chandelier earrings. She'd must have spent ages on getting the eyeshadow and lashes right because I couldn't meet her gaze without going weak at the knees.
She kissed the back of my hand and offered her arm to lead me to the table, pulling out my chair and everything. But as with so many of Kim's acts, her romantic gestures were overdone and mainly served to tease. Not that I minded, but it's hard to make conversation when you can hardly breathe with excitement. So we said little as we ate, and just about when I felt I would have to jump her before it got awkward her phone rang and shattered the mood. I had a moment to wonder why she'd even brought the damned thing before remembering we were expecting news.
And they were great. The meeting had gone swimmingly and Mr. Jonez was so impressed by Lexi's stage presence he'd flat out said she was just what he'd imagined for the part. Her being sorta semi-demi-famous already didn't hurt either, and she more or less had the gig if she wanted it. Sure, it would include paperwork and maybe joining a guild, but those were mere details. What mattered was how excited both she and Kriss were about the whole thing and I can't say me and Kim didn't catch it.
"Go out and celebrate" I told them. "And promise me you make love like crazy tonight. Hell, fuck like crazy."
"Ahead of you there", Kriss grinned, "or you'd gotten the call earlier."
"The night is long", Alex said with glittering eyes. "You might find your wife a bit worn out when I return her."
"Miss you, honey", Kim smiled. "And don't wear yourself out too much because I wanna celebrate too."
"Practice on Chellie. Gonna be sad if either of you can walk in the morning."
We finished the call and then there was no awkwardness left in the room. Kim grabbed my hands and we started to jump up and down, squealing like schoolgirls.
"Being in a Dex Jonez flick!" Kim exclaimed. "That man's hot!"
I had to agree. There was something about those eyes and teeth shining in the dark face that had a seriously wicked edge. And he was buff too. I hoped the part wouldn't require too much contact since it would be hard keeping one's paws off.
"I feel like doing something fun! We forgot about the members!"
While they couldn't get something special every time, I nevertheless thought of something on the spot and after a quick accessory change I had Kimber in front of the neutral backdrop. I was sure no one was going to mind the upgrade in sexiness.
"When was the last time you used a handkerchief?" she asked the viewers. "Chances are never, especially at fancy parties. But they do add something, don't they?"
She touched the white triangle protruding from her pocket.
"Here's a way to add a practical touch. Suppose there aren't enough decorations around? Maybe the place is lacking a bit in ambience? No problem if you carry one of these!"
She pulled out the carefully folded 18-incher I'd replaced the fabric with.
"With just a few quick breaths you can add a festive air to any occasion. Watch!"
She inhaled deeply and blew hard into the balloon, which sprang to life in front of her face. Heavy huffing made it expand even more than her cheeks and at an amazing pace Kim inflated it to almost full capacity before tying it off and tossing it a foot in the air.
"If you happen to wear a more colorful tie you can match it for an even better effect! And should you decide it's not needed after all, it's easy to dispose of."
She dug her painted nails into the taut rubber and with a bang the large balloon all but vanished. Kim folded the largest piece down the middle and stuck it back in place with the crease up. It would almost pass muster as a pocket square, at least from some distance.
"Ta-da! Just a simple party tip to keep in mind. 'Til next time!"
I'd barely turned the recording off before she picked me up and spun me around.
"Let's dance, Cherry!"
And that's just what we did back in the living room. Some quick turns across the floor brought Kim down from whatever cloud of elation she'd been walking on and we unconsciously turned to slower and closer steps. We spent a good while at it and I knew one of these days I'd have to ask her to take me to some favorite place of hers for a public version. I wanted to be seen as her date so badly, and when I told her that she blushed all the way to her roots.
"You look so incredible dressed to the nines and even if it's just for me I want others to know what I get."
I rested my cheek on her shoulder, not really expecting a reply. But I got one.
"Can I tell you something? I've always felt good wearing these. I mean, always."
"Bow ties?" I asked, just to make sure.
She nodded. "Mm-hm. Mom insisted we'd look neat and clean at parties and usually made Jon put on some kind of shirt and tie. Then one time - I might have been eight or nine - I asked to wear the same. And she saw no reason to not let me and so we both went in matching getups, bow ties and all. And mom was so happy about the compliments she got for her lovely little ones I felt real happy too. Like I'd done good. And I still feel that way every time I put one on. Not just for you."
That was news. "Kimmy, I had no idea. Why haven't you told me?"
"Was afraid I'd ruin your thing for you."
"You just made it better. Knowing you like it for your own sake."
Her chest shook with a small laugh. "Oh, I do. Haven't you noticed?"
"I promise I will from now on. God, when I keep calling you my ultimate fuck buddy I mean it. Even if you're more than that. So happy to be yours."
There was a half-hearted attempt at teasing. "Fuck buddy?"
"No, literally. I belong to you. And I belong to Lex. And most definitely belong to Kriss. That doesn't change it - I'm yours, Kimberly. To have and to hold and to use."
Kim ran her nose along my neck. "I could use holding you even closer. Don't have words for how I feel."
"Let's go do what I told the others to. Because that's been my plan all along."
She smiled and blew in my ear. "Lead on."
Before my dress even hit the bedroom floor I'd taken out and started to inflate the big wedge to show there was no way she'd spend the night out of my arms and I hadn't time to finish before I felt her face between my legs. Then far too much happened to go into here but I was overjoyed to do every little thing she asked for - just because she actually did. And I made sure to remind her she comes so much harder when she blows and passed her fresh balloons from the nightstand whenever we moved around. None of them survived the night, though some were ridden to death instead of blown to pop and a few were filled by yours truly, either at Kim's request or on my own initiative. Eventually we'd exhausted both the latex supply and each other and sank back sweetly and happily embraced. Then Kim brought up a previous promise.
"You said we could do whatever I want on the show?"
"Of course, as long as it's not illegal or something."
"Well..." She hesitated, then dropped the bomb. "I wanna pop Barbie. Now that you've seen her all dressed up and everything."
I actully wasn't shocked. "Maybe it's time for her to go. Any thoughts on how and when?"
And so we lay there together, plotting the demise of a dummy. As assassination plans go it could have been more sinister, but we took a certain delight in thinking up the most worthwhile scenario.
Come on, you knew it was bound to happen.

[ChillinHaze]

Oh oh, Barbara has it coming for her.
But every broadcasting station would have axed such a slacker of a news caster ages ago! So she didn't use her chance :P

Off-topic since I'm forgetful, but isn't one of the girls' birthday around the corner?

[Harley]

Yes, her employment's been a clear case of nepotism or something! Or the result of sexual favors. No matter, it will soon be terminated. And I say soon, because I want to land a Halloween episode on the right date since that's a bit of a tradition, and it kinda has to happen before then.

Speaking of dates, I'm impressed someone else keeps track of them! There's not one but two birthdays left in the year, but not before another anniversary. I never gave an exact date, but "On the Air" started in the first half of November. Pretty sure that has to be noted in an episode, don't you think?

[ChillinHaze]

Yes, indeed! Such an anniversary has to be mentioned and celebrated of course. ^^
Just a bit afraid what will happen this time since the last anniversary saw an overwhelming amount of balloons being bought xD

Wondering how Barbara will meet her demise but knowing the girls' tendencies she's going out with quite a bang.

[Harley]

All right, been a while since the last double episode, but this will be one of those. Just so you're prepared!

Episode 48

The next day we greeted Kriss and Lex as befitting returning heroes, and then the movie-star-in-the-making was whisked away by Kim for some private celebrations. Which left me plenty alone time with my wife and boy did we make the most of it. Afterwards she filled me in on all the details from the meeting with the actual star and the less-known director and it all sounded well above board. Kriss looked smug.
"Now are you happy I set up that shoot?"
"You had no idea this would happen. But yeah, I'm happy with how it turned out."
As were the viewers. The author of the sci-fi story let us know he was working on a sequel and that he'd naturally take Kim's suggestion to make the space gals an official couple. I wondered if Sam would paint a cover for that one too. The prop builder couldn't believe we'd made such good use of the inflatable alien - he'd hoped for a brief cameo at the most, maybe Kimber kicking it out of the way or something. Audience input can be very rewarding - or off-putting, as the case may be. Luckily the former was in majority.
Speaking of reactions, we eventually got around to show our mates the fresh newscast and they were beyond amused. Kriss in particular loved that Barb didn't deflate just once or twice. It was like the nitwit had forgotten about the Rule of Three. Lex was more impressed with Kim remembering all the words.
"Those papers weren't there just for show", the blonde replied.
Regardless, they were sure it would do well, and later on the comments proved that. One person wished Kim would blow the doll up more often, another suggested she should have kept going. There was a guy who complimented the outfits, saying he'd started to fear he'd never see Kim in a tux again. And seeing Barb in one had inspired someone to put a jacket and tie on his own doll, which evidently had spiced things up a bit. Good for him.
But the general vibe was that it had been pretty damned funny and I was glad that Barbie got such approval at least once during her tenure. I actually felt a bit guilty preparing her for the next regular episodes. While shooting those me and Kim kept appearances up and our plan secret, as if the others could veto it somehow. Or try to talk us out of it. Our resolve was firm, though, and what would happen to Barb was very much premediated.

I'm actually torn on whether I should describe the process or just give a blow-by-blow recap of the end result. But since a written summary can't live up to watching it happen I'll take you along for the full ride.
The first thing we needed to decide was the method, and if you're guessing Miss Scarlet, in the studio, with a knife you lose this round of 'Clue'. I did suggest accidentally poking her with something sharp or Kimber placing a thumbtack on her seat as a prank, but those were nixed right away.
"I think I should do it on purpose."
"Won't that seem cruel?"
"Not if she deserves it."
I sighed. As if we needed a motive angle as well. "How on earth could an inflatable doll do something that'd justify popping her?"
"What if she's not just a doll?"
And then Kim surprised me by having actually done some research of her own. That alone would have won her the argument, but as it would also save me writing a Superheroine Sunday ep I was more than willing to go along with her idea. Besides, we had been treating Barb as an actual person for most of her run.
Okay, I'm saving the actual denouement for the recap, but only because it'd be tedious to go over the scriptwork. And I still haven't told you how the deed was to be done.
"Blowing her to pop is the only way to go, right?"
I could hear she considered the question rhetorical. "Kimmy, I'm not sure it's possible. I mean, did you see the product demonstrations?"
Sure, the vids had been cheap but a compressor at full force had inflated a doll beyond all reasonable size and it still didn't burst. Even if Kim could blow her that big the momentum would be lost along the way.
"So we doctor her a bit. Worst case scenario you fire a pin at her."
"Don't get me wrong, I agree it would look best. Just don't wanna set you up for disappointment."
Kim shrugged. "If I can't do it you deliver the coop the graze."
I was happy Kriss wasn't privy to the discussion. That pronunciation might have given her a choking fit.

We considered our options and decided weaking the latex would help but be risky - too much and we'd ruin everything before even starting. Chemicals were right out, as the results would be unpredictable.
"Not gonna ask Pops about this one", Kim said, and that'd probably be for the best. Even if he was a very practical man and a bit of a technical wiz, he was still her dad. You don't consult those about inflatable dolls.
A gentle rub with the finest sand paper we could find seemed like our best bet. As long as an area was slightly thinner the difference in pressure should handle the rest.
All things considered I thought a black bra, white blouse and a skirt in some neutral color would be suitable for the sendoff, along with the thickest transparent nylons we could find. There were reasons for the underwear. Oh, and shoving Barb's feet into a pair of pumps wouldn't hurt any and add to the overall impression.
My qualms about removing one - albeit non-sentient - individual from this world were mitigated by two new fresh ones having been brought into it. The first baby pictures from London were simply adorable and had us all cooing over those precious new lives. Not that I could imagine Carrie as a mom but I was sure she'd do fine. The question was what gifts to send and we spent an afternoon shopping for something suitable. And a few things for ourselves while at it.
I felt extremely conspicuous sneaking off to buy that sand paper on the sly, but not half as much as if I'd gone out just for that and had to explain where I'd been. Thinking up excuses is all very well, but making secret purchases right behind someone's back is more fun.

When the day of 'the poperation' (as Kim called it) dawned we did our best to act normal at breakfast. We'd picked a date we knew had been earmarked for some serious rehearsals and being in a more or less soundproof room would keep the performers from hearing whatever we were up to. Kim put her hair in large rollers right away so she could spray it into airy waves before we began and I made sure the studio was set up right. I had to switch out the oversized chairs for tiny stools and angle the camera to show more of whatever was behind the desk. In fact, I pulled the whole thing out a few extra feet from the wall so it wouldn't block too much of the view.
I dressed Barbie up for the grand finale, made a slit for the valve in the back of her blouse and poked it through. Then I blew her up for the last time, making a slow and thorough job of it. I ran my hands over her body as it filled out, felt her ample breasts expand just enough to hold the oversized brassiere in place. When the time came to add the final breath I emptied my lungs completely into her - not that a few extra ounces of air would help Kimmy much but it's the thought that counts.
I closed the valve, picked her up and took her to bed for a parting cuddle. Firm yet soft and supple and pliant, she had been designed well for the job. I wondered how she'd hold up to the non-intended use.
The painted plastic face looked really artificial close up and the stupid half-smile was so inane I couldn't pretend for a moment she was anything but a prop. The makeup had begun to fade just a bit and I felt this would be the perfect time to make her go out with a bang.
"You've done good", I said. "But after all you're just a glorified balloon, and no balloon lasts forever."
Giving the lady-shaped loon a big and fond hug I rose and brought her onto the desk before turning on the camera. There was a chance I'd commit the blooper of the century and in that case I wanted at least a recording as a consolation prize.
I took out a sheet of sand paper and tore off a smaller square, just enough to comfortably grip. Then I gently rubbed it over the top of Barbie's belly, about right opposite the valve. I was really, really careful and while not sure it made much of a difference I kept going for as long as I dared, now and then blowing on the latex to send any teeny tiny particles out of the way. Eventually I was too scared to do more and it might have been my imagination but I thought the part I'd worked on looked a little more transparent than the rest. It would have to do.
I adjusted the bra and fastened the blouse before carefully cutting part of the button strings, leaving them hanging on by just a thread. The detectives among you might possibly figure out why.
I'd barely gotten Barb to sit straight on the stool when Kim made her entrance. She wore a similar blouse with a couple of buttons open and a somewhat strict grey blazer above her skirt and boots. No one would give her clothes a second look though, not with that paintjob and impressive mane. She'd put on sharp, inky eyeliner and the kind of blush and shade that made her look like something straight out of a comic for adults. The hair seemed to billow and flow around her face but had been fixated to not move around too easily. In short, she'd ditched the casual look for an almost cartoony one, suitable for what she was planning to do.
"All set?" she asked after inspecting the new surroundings.
"As well as I could on my own. Go stand and pretend to do it."
Kim ruined my careful arranging of the doll by taking it from the seat and bringing it to the place of execution, or whatever to call it. She mimicked blowing into the valve while bending every which way and I adjusted the viewfinder to catch as much as possible from a single angle. I also told her to take a step back and for god's sake remember the spot. I put some tape on the floor just to make sure. Then Barbie went back onto her designated post and as we looked the set over Kim turned to me.
"Got the gun?"
I nodded. The thin tube and blow dart we'd occasionally used were within my reach in case I'd have to finish the job myself. I pretty much counted on that but didn't relish the task.
"All right." She exhaled sharply. "Let's do this, boss. One for luck?"
I put my hands on her shoulders and leaned in to plant a soft, encouraging smooch on her pretty lips, just like I'd done before every act at the theatre. I hoped it would be as effective here and now - Kimber actually seemed a bit nervous as she got into place, or at least apprehensive.
All that vanished once I called 'go', though. She faced her viewers and looked like she was about to impart some great secret.
"Hi and once again welcome to 'On the Air' with me - Kimber. Have you ever found out that someone close to you has been pretending to be something they're not? Then you know the feeling all too well - like a kind of betrayal, even if it's nothing of consequence."
She sighed. "Then imagine how I feel - I've discovered that my silent partner is not only a bloody nuisance, but also my arch-nemesis in disguise - Barbara Enerva!"
On revealing that name she turned sharply towards the doll with a stern, accusing face.
"That's right, I've got your number now. And your days on the job are numbered."
She turned back to the camera, flashing it a smug grin.
"Luckily I have a secret identity too. This looks like a job for Kimber Woman!"
She tore her blouse open and let it fall from her shoulders along with the jacket to reveal the gaudy Wonder Woman costume she'd worn for the first superheroine show - I didn't describe her skirt and boots before because they were the ones going along with it. The former came into view as she rose.
"Or is that Wonder Kimber? Whatever. I can handle you either way!"
She yanked Barbie from the stool and took up position, spinning the effigy around in an effortless toss.
"Take this, you fiend!"
I held my breath as Kim drew a deep one of her own. Then she blew it into the valve with tremendous force and Barbie's arms wobbled a bit in response. I had a look through the camera and found everything was visible except Kimber's calves and feet, and the struggling pair was dead center. It would have been a straight side view if Kim hadn't turned just a bit towards the audience, not even halfway to three-quarters but enough to make the whole thing more dynamic and sort of directed at the spectators.
She held the plump figure with her hands on either side of its waist and most of the blonde's face could be seen as she expelled the last of her breath. A loud intake accompanied the reloading and a second huge blast of air followed the first - then a third of the same magnitude. Though Barbara was visibly expanding the sturdy nylons made it difficult for the legs to swell up, and the rest of the clothes did a similar job. The latex inside them ballooned out as Kim kept going and soon the outfit had been fully inflated along with the doll. As the rubber took the path of least resistance every last wrinkle of the blouse was blown straight before the pressure had to go elsewhere. Barbie's arms were forced slightly outwards and her legs had separated as much as the skirt would allow. It was an incredible sight - It truly looked like Kim was blowing another girl up like a common loon, be it ever so elaborately shaped. She'd planted her feet apart and was struggling as hard as she had with the hot water bottle, even if the valve meant she could open her mouth to inhale as much as she liked. And she sure did. Each and every enormous gust forced into the hapless dummy was followed by an equally huge gasp that could be heard much clearer than the slight creaking of the tense fabric and the contents rubbbing against it. The blouse was straining around the now oversized body and as Kim once more blew hard into it I saw the buttons had been separated enough to reveal some of the artifical skin below. The next whooshing breath was coupled with sharp snapping sounds as the weakened fastenings gave way and sent the buttons flying, one by one ricocheting off the walls and furniture, making the blouse fall open to reveal the ballooning belly and enormous breasts barely contained by the bra.
Kim didn't seem to notice, her own body swaying back and forth with every incredibly puff but never bending forward too much, making her appear impossibly strong. Her bracelets gleamed against the dull cotton now trailing against them while she blew Barbie's body ever fatter.
Free from at least some of the resistance Kim picked up the pace and went into her favorite mode, fast, frenzied puffs that nevertheless held all the force of the previous ones. Her torso moved along with each in a steady rhythm like a living, breathing pump and her chest rose and fell accordingly. Barbie's boobs just kept growing bigger and bigger, threatening to spill out at any moment. But the stiff rubber nipples were caught against the edge of the bra so instead they rose like puffy, air-filled dough as Kimber kept inflating them - a pair of flesh-colored balloons growing towards and eventually framing the owner's chin. Without the blouse holding it in the tummy had expanded sideways as well and was now growing both wider and thicker, separating the blower's palms more and more without being able to break out of her firm hold.
I wondered how much thought Kim had put into the presentation since I couldn't imagine a better way of displaying the act. This was beyond a doubt the way to inflate a doll for the camera and performers everywhere should take notes. I was sure a whole lot of porn stars could increase their fan base by blowing up a male doll to fuck, especially if it was done with the dedication Kim was showing. She gave off an air of someone fully committed to the job and the effort she put in was both awe-inspiring and arousing. I'd rarely seen anyone so focused on their work, not letting something so trivial as exhaustion get in the way. By now she'd gone red enough in the face to almost match the crimson of her outfit, but still she pushed on, blowing and blowing despite her taut and shiny cheeks looking about as ready to burst as the doll.
Barb seemed about ten months pregnant and I imagined people into that kind of look had thought of ways to pump their cuddle companions into the same shape. But I hoped not, because she'd begun to appear dangerously overinflated - and yet had some way left to go. The strain must be immense as Kim's lovely face was all scrunched up and puffed out at once, glistening with perspiration. She showed no sign of wanting to give up, but you could hear the task was starting to take its toll.
Aaah-pffffffffff, AAAH-PFFFFFFFH went her breaths over and over and over again, pushing both herself and the latex to the limits. Though I wasn't sure about the latter. Barbie had swollen into grotesque proportions, almost a parody of a blow-up doll, without a hint of approaching the popping point. One of her shoes fell off, probably shaken loose by the constant swaying, while Kim's only adjustment had been turning ever so slightly to avoid being blocked by the bulging, ballooning body. Her ferocity was something to behold, on par with if not surpassing Kriss breaking that world record all those years ago. But she hadn't been decked out like a warrior princess or trying to live up to that appearance. Kim was certainly trying to play the part and so far succeeding admirably. But I knew there had to be a limit to her endurance and fingered the weapon I'd been entrusted to end things quickly. I reluctantly loaded the dart, brought the tube to my lips and took aim, waiting for the perfect moment.
And waited. And realized I couldn't do it. I just couldn't stand the thought of shooting even a mannequin in cold blood, especially not someone I'd been that intimate with. I lowered the gun in shame and prayed Kim would be made of sterner stuff.
The whooshes and gasps kept coming, deeper and louder and more drawn out than ever and I pitied my darling for having taken on such a Herculean feat. I should have discarded it as impossible from the start and saved her the trouble and inevitable disappointment. I raised the lethal peashooter once more but gave up halfway, instead thinking of how to console poor Kim - still rocking back and forth and blowing her lungs out - and found no way of shirking my duty. Crap. I would have to take the shot or all her work would have been for nothing. Maybe I'd give her just a few more momen...
And then Barbara burst. Or exploded, take your pick. The tremendous boom rattled the windows and made my ears ring while Kimmy was flung backwards to the floor and out of frame. I didn't even stop the camera as I rushed to check on her, because it looked bad. If she'd hit that silly skull of hers...
I'd been prepared for her to be dazed or even unconscious, but not for her eyes to burn with the fury of the sun. Panting heavily, with hair flowing every which way around features blazing with lust and need, she spoke before I could even reach her.
"Here. Now!" she demanded, spreading wide for me. I threw myself down between her legs and started thrusting without a second thought.
"Baby, baby, baby - you're wonderful! Wonder Kimber. Wonder Woman's a princess, but you're a queen!"
I clasped my hands behind her head to cushion it from the floor as I pounded away. She gasped and pulled me closer.
"For you, boss... Just for you", she groaned. "You said I was the hottest of Angels. Wanted to prove you right..."
I started kissing her lips and cheeks all over.
"You're the mistress of blow shows! The best!"
She could only moan while I kept up the smooching, going faster all the time. I wanted to say more but "I love you, Kimmy!" was all I managed, consumed by desire to reward and please her. I was grinding like a woman possessed, locked in the most violent bout of dryhumping I'd ever experienced, and not until she started to trash around and cry out with such fervor I was sure everyone in the house heard her did I let up. But she wrapped her feet tight around my ass, trapping me and forcing me to go on, and I realized we were both grinning like maniacs while tears of pride and joy and relief ran down my face. Kim pulled my head down to lick them off and as her tongue made its third pass I came as well, moaning and twitching like the mainspring had snapped inside me. The searing lights were still flashing behind my eyes when I got around to kiss her for real.
"That was unbelievable. Even Lex couldn't have matched it. If anyone had been able to make me forget about Kriss it would've been you..."
She stroked my hair. "I'd so taken that job."
"And I'm so glad you didn't. Because having you all is way better. The icing on the cake."
She grinned. "With a Cherry on top."
That awful joke scored her a few more playful humps and then I had to roll off or start all over again. I looked at the ravaged mess that was supposed to pass for the presenter.
"We really could use a finish."
"Leave that to me", Kim said and lay flat on her belly.
I retreated to make sure the camera was still running, and realized it would have recorded the mother of all outtakes - hopefully relatively obscured. Nothing but the furniture and the wall behind could be seen through it so I told Kim to go on, trusting the Mistress of Blow-Shows to get it right. Otherwise we could actually do a retake of this last part.
But that wasn't needed. An outstretched hand shot up behind the desk before slamming the palm down on it, and Kimber laboriously pulled herself up. She appeared to have gone through a very localized tornado and what I'd treated her to had done very little to extinguish the sparkle in her eyes. In other words, she looked as freshly fucked as she actually was.
"There", she said. "That takes care of that. Join me next time for a more personal experience - just me and you and anyone else watching. Until then, go ahead and hit those buttons below - you know the ones. This is Kimber, who unlike some people is still on the air."
She nodded at her audience with a satisfied smile and I shut the contraption off, hoping like hell it had caught every last frame. Of her performance, that is.

Only then did I dare look at what remained of her late co-host. Still wearing her clothes, Barbara lay completely deflated and broken beyond any hopes of repair. The force of the blast had split her apart from chin to crotch, and the location of the wide, gaping gash hinted it was indeed the weak spot that had blown out. Been blown out. By Kim. I could still hardly believe it. The plastic face tilted at an angle by the wig looked strangely happy - contented and serene, even - the features of someone at peace with having fulfilled their destiny. It was a comforting thought.
Kim gently pulled what was left of the popped presenter out of the garments and placed a brief, tender kiss on her lips.
"Well fought", she said, hugging the limp material before putting it down on the desk. She turned to me with a sudden concern.
"Now how do we tell the others?"
I shrugged. "Like we tell the rest of the world."
After a brief, anxious inspection of the video material and finding it all there I edited out our mostly hidden lovemaking (which, no matter the fierceness, was what it had been) and added a slight screen shake at Kimber hitting the floor to hide the jump cut. The result was her reappearing a few seconds after the detonation like no time at all had passed. The change in appearance could be attributed to the blast and would be pretty amusing if taken that way.
We'd only skipped through the contents, since it would be more exciting to share the first real watch with our lovers. Kim was already off to brush her hair and replace her outfit with the clothes she'd worn at the start, plus matching pants. In the meantime I went to cordially invite Crystal and Alexis to preview the next episode. I couldn't wait for their reactions.
They were both actually surprised by the revelation at the beginning, and when Wonder Kimber picked up her foe Kriss drew a deep breath in happy anticipation.
Lex simply went "You didn't. You didn't."
But she sure had, and the following minutes proved it. The incredulous test audience kept leaning closer and closer to the screen in either disbelief or fear of missing a single detail. I was gaping too, getting all warm at being able to relive the spectacle without having to worry about the outcome. That made it even better the second time around and seeing Kim's childlike joy at watching herself proving her worth beyond all doubt had my heart racing as much as the fantastic replay.
And I wasn't the only one admiring her. While Alex was staring in stunned silence Kriss was jumping in her seat chanting "go, go, go!" at the screen. Both were grinning, or what would pass for it under the circumstances. When the buttons flew off there was a "Yeah!" from my wife, a "Whoa!" from Lex and a genuine, triumphant laugh from Kim. As the doll neared its maximum sight it struck me how much bigger than herself Kim had blown it. Sure, she'd always be taller but she had absolutely nothing on Barbie's girth. It seemed absurd that fit, slender body could absorb enough air to fill her now morbidly obese companion up so much.
Lexi risked a glance at her beloved. "You did, didn't you?"
Kim didn't reply, transfixed by her own televised efforts. A handful of seconds later I was grateful a professional had installed the mic because the almighty blam was almost as impressive coming from the speakers as it had been in the actual room. Lex shrieked in fright at both the sudden noise and the sight of her precious thrown to the floor while Kriss' jubilant exclamation was followed by a magnificent guffaw. Kim simply smiled like she'd tried the most delicious dessert ever and I guessed she was feeling the sweet taste of victory. Her almost immediate onscreen return had Lexi join in the laughter and the fadeout was met with applause as they both rose to embrace and fawn over the heroine of the hour.
"Not a bad blowjob", Alex sighed. "But you're getting an even better one in a moment."
"That sure was one way of blowing someone off", Kriss said.
Kim sounded a little worried. "You're not mad about it?"
My wife shrugged. "Why should I be? I knew she wouldn't last forever and that was a glorious end. Wouldn't mind going like that myself."
"I was getting a bit jealous of her getting to star with you", Lex confessed.
"Says the one who'll be starring with Dex Jonez."
"It's only a bit part. But I won't be mourning Barb."
Kriss turned serious. "That said, I am a bit miffed at you stealing my thing."
It was my turn to be surprised. "What thing?"
"When I said superheroes should blow their enemies to pop you laughed at me. And now you go and do this."
"I just said humans can't be blowpopped."
"Yeah, and Barbara wasn't. Blatant plagiarism!" The corner of her mouth twitched and it became even clearer she only faked being upset.
"Oh come on", I said, "it wasn't like you were gonna use it."
"But still." She turned to Kim. "I demand satisfaction."
The accused leered. "I can help with that."
"Pretty sure that's a challenge to a duel", Lex supplied.
"It so was, and I know just how to settle it. Chel, seen the car keys?"
"In your purse."
"Seen my purse?"
I had, and right away Kriss was off to make use of her newly acquired license. Lexi picked Kim up to go make good on her promise and I was left alone to wonder what this would lead to. Some coffee was probably in order.

(Continued below)

[Harley]

(Continued from above)

A cup and a donut later I went to collect Barbara's belongings... and Barbie herself. I folded her up as neatly and respectfully as I could, placing her face on top. That way she looked fresh out of the box just waiting to be inflated by her new owner, and I felt a pang of sadness knowing that wasn't to be. Then I remembered how funny it had looked when she exploded on the screen and the moment passed. She would still bring happiness to others and I couldn't wait to upload the video. I sat down and added the usual intro and outro, silently cursing we still had two other episodes to post before this one.
I was heading back to the kitchen when I met a pair of ladies very dear to my heart. Kim was clinging to her beloved and both were gazing at each other, infatuated beyond belief. The blonde seemed so satisfied I had zero doubts Lex had blown her but good - blown her mind with those incredible oral skills of hers. And after her feat Kimmy deserved every bit of lip service she’d get. It was heartwarming how ridiculously in love they looked and I'm in no position to judge since me and Kriss are at least as bad. Or at times any combination of us, really. I asked them to join me for a refill while awaiting judgement, hoping my wife hadn't been headed for a weapon shop or anything - I'd never told her pistols at dawn were out.

What she brought home was something so very much else I began to regret ever letting her see the Halloween pics from the theatre. Mandy had worn something so similar it was evident where she'd gotten the idea. Now Kriss had squeezed herself into a Power Girl costume and if the boob window hadn't already been the most prominent feature her chest size made damned sure of it. If she'd entered the bedroom like that I'd been all over her and probably drooling, but appearing in the kitchen spoiled the effect a bit. She glowered at Kim.
"Where's that Kimber Woman?"
The reply came in mock defiance. "It's Wonder Kimber."
"Whatever. Get her here. Only thing to settle this is through a blow-off and I want both your viewers and mine to watch me win."
"In your dreams."
I shook my head. Kim might be able to trail my wife better than most, but she isn't called 'Iron Lungs' Mackenzie for nothing. And if you thought Lex and Kim competitive you haven't met Kriss.
Alex suddenly looked both interested and curious. "Blow what?"
"Fortyfivers."
That's when I slammed the brakes. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! First off that takes forever, even for you. And second, no one will be able to 'watch you win' behind one of those. Not if you plan on being in the same picture. Won't twentyfours be enough?"
"No." Kriss was firm. "She's already blown up one of those on cam."
I sighed. "Thirty-six and that's my final offer."
"Deal. And if we use the dance hall they can see us just fine."
I've never had cause to mention that room before but it's Kim's domain, a love gift from Kriss that left her shaking for the better part of an afternoon. As the huge basement level was largely unused my wife suggested we merge a couple of rooms and put in barres, a marley floor and a wall-to-wall mirror. There's also a nice sound system, air conditioning and a pole off to one side, but those would only get in the way right now.
All this was installed in anticipation of our new tenants moving in, since Lex would have the run of the studio for all her musical needs and it wouldn't be fair to leave her lady love without a place to practice her main interest.
Needless to say it had gone over well and also played a main part in Kim deciding to give dance lessons for local young'uns. Not having to rent a place was what sealed that.
"You're so on", Kim said and set off. "Be back in a jizz. Jiff."
Kriss was pleased. "Lexi honey, be a lamb and see if you can dig up a couple that size. I'm gonna have to check if this outfit is up to standards."
My standards, it seemed. It passed the fondle test just fine and I was about to check if it was easy to remove when Lex returned.
"You didn't say colors so I took one of each we had."
Pink, red, purple, orange and yellow. Would do fine.
"Think I'll go with pink" Kriss said after fingering the bunch leisurely. "Thanks. Wait! We'll need two beachballs too!"
With that she was gone, the clicking of her boots against the floor fainter with every hurried step.
"You have any idea what's going on?" Alex asked.
"Lets see... us kissing like there's no tomorrow until they return?"
"Fine with me."
We were still at it when Kriss reentered with a mid-sized yellow beachball under each arm.
"Don't mind me", she said. "Just gonna deflate these."
With that she popped open the valve of one, put it on the floor and sat on it. I looked just enough to notice that, but I didn't have to see more as the whooshing of air escaping in bursts told me she was bouncing on it. Lexi thrust her crotch against my hip in time with the noise and I thought it a much better use of her body than helping Kriss hump the life out of the inflated plastic. I was wondering why she'd chosen those flimsy things - they were of the cheapest kind imaginable and we'd left them out in the sun to see if it would soften them even more. They'd gotten a bit stretchier, but not much more than enough to distort the printed smileys a bit. For a strength demonstration they'd be pointless.
Or not, if used as a warmup. Bursting beachballs by mouth would set the stage nicely.
Kim returned, having restored her heroic appearance as best she could. The hair wasn't as perfect but that hardly mattered. Kriss wasn't exactly sporting the right 'do either.
Describing the work of bringing the camera down and setting it up so it wouldn't be seen in any mirror while still capturing as much of the combatants as possible will just bore you - suffice it to say Lexi opted out of it to fix some kind of dinner and had time to return before we were done.
“Hope you know what to say”, I told Kriss.
“Got it covered. Will keep it nice and simple.”
Which basically meant ‘just play along’. Since it wasn’t my show I just nodded.
“I’ll take the lead, we race, I’ll take a bow.”
Kim said she could do that, but would be the one accepting the plaudits.
“Fine”, I said, "but either way the winner don't get to try blowing the loser to pop."
Kriss gave me a not too reassuring grin. “It’s just a title bout. Or something.”
It was something all right.

“Hey all. I’m Power Crystal, and I’ve just seen Wonder Kimber here attempt to show me up. She’s got strong lungs for sure but they’re no match for mine, no matter what you might think.”
Kim crossed her arms and scoffed as Kriss went on. “So, Wondy, you think it have what it takes? For instance, bursting a beach ball with your breath?”
She was met with an eye roll. “Duh.”
“Let’s try that, then.”
Crystal got them a beachball each and offered Kimber one. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Her opponent inhaled almost indifferently and began to blow up her ball. Kriss followed a moment later and soon they were inflating the yellow spheres with reckless abandon. They reached full size and began to expand, the cheap plastic stretching like flattened taffy. No matter how easy it was for them, watching two ladies make vinyl balls seem like rubber balloons just by blowing hard must be damned impressive to some. Both globes grew distended from the force before giving in to the pressure, but hadn’t even the common decency to pop properly. Kim’s went phut as a bulge turned into a hole and one puff later Kriss’ split open with just a little more noise. They lowered the ruined toys and sized each other up.
“Not bad”, Kriss said, “but I did give you a head start.”
“I thought this was going to be challenging.”
“Oh, that was just a preliminary. We’ll be using these for the real test.”
She pulled the big balloons out of her cleavage, which due to the suit design would have to double as a pocket.
“That’s more like it”, Kim grinned.
“I know, right?”
For a fleeting moment they were more kindred souls than bitter rivals, and then they remembered what they were supposed to do. Kriss handed over the red balloon and while I’d thought about fitting tubes to the necks I’d decided they deserved the trouble of holding them.
“I don’t doubt you can blow this up until it pops, but can you do it faster than me? I think not.”
“Live and learn”, Kim said as she stretched the elastic pouch.
“I’ll even give you three free puffs.”
“On no account.”
“Alright then. Ready? One, two, three!”
With that the limp balloons sprang to life and started to expand as Power Crystal and Wonder Kimber began to blow them up. The viewers were in for a real treat, as the fictional characters would not only inflate them for real but keep blowing until both had exploded and turned to showers of shreds. Kim took a clear lead as her quick exhales made the latex swell into a rapidly growing globe, while Kriss used deeper and slower breaths that had same effect, only less instantaneous. Before long the loons had grown into elongated spheres tapering to dull points, and soon it was impossible to tell any real difference in size. As Kriss was on the same side of the room as the mirror you got both a frontal and side view of her, although soon the former would be pretty much obscured by pink rubber. Kim had more wiggle room and assumed the same angle she’d used in the doll scene. You might think it unfair there was more of my wife in the shot, but it was after all for her site.
The room had much more of an echo than the studio and the heavy, humongous puffs reverberated between the walls. Both ladies blew their faces up to full effect and while the colorful latex was pretty in its own right they made for much more appealing inflatables – especially with the way their chests expanded to the max every time they refilled their air supplies. All of those were immediately expelled into the now egg-shaped blimps with noisy whooof’s and phuuuu’s. Kriss had all but vanished behind her trapped breath while less and less of Kim could be seen as they puffed and puffed and puffed. And puffed. Thirty-six inches might not sound like a lot but keep in mind that’s a straight measurement. In volume it’s a great deal more and while the balloons didn’t seem that large inside the roomy chamber you had to put them in relation to the women struggling to hold them in place while attempting to blow them even bigger. And not just trying. Slowly but surely the latex giants kept growing and red and pink were by far the dominant colors in the picture. I closed my eyes and found I could easily tell their breaths apart by sound alone, both familiar and appealing to my ears. Kim had lost her starting pace but was still going for speed, while Kriss had been blowing steadily all along. If it came down to lung capacity she would win hands down but the dancer had her beat in overall physical condition. It remained to be seen how that’d play out in the long run, because no matter how you look at it, those behemoths take a while to fill up. Me and Lex passed the time silently cheering our mates on, making encouraging gestures, mimicking puffing and pretending to swoon at their prowess. We had loads of fun coaxing extra efforts out of them and I think it actually worked as they did their best to not disappoint us, and eventually they’d blown both balloons to the manufacturer’s recommendations – and right past them. You could not tell the loon sizes apart by sight and by now they had began to sport thick, wonderfully inflated necks as well. Clamping those together would give an advantage but neither were willing to leave a single inch unfilled. Soon the stupendous balloon bodies were separated from the ladies’ faces by swollen shafts that looked obscenely phallic from a certain mindset. They’d also begun to bob up and down in a more pronounced manner than before and those movements added to the impression of the overinflated rubber straining to hold together against an all but unstoppable force.
Eventually the pink material could take no more and was torn apart with an echoing bang, tattered pieces of various sizes tumbling through the air before settling on the floor ahead of Kriss. Her grin was dazzling from both angles and she tilted her head to see what was keeping her adversary.
Not much, as exactly three whooshes later her balloon followed the first into oblivion with a thunderclap followed by a gentle rain of latex tatters. She put her palms on her knees and began to catch her breath.
“Should have taken my deal”, Kriss said.
“I don’t negotiate with air-orists.”
Power Crystal extended a hand. “Relax, we’re on the same side.”
They shook, and Kim seemed surprised at being pulled into an embrace.
“That was a good one. You can challenge me to a rematch whenever you like.” She turned to the camera. “There you have it, folks – not even Wonder Kimber can beat me.”
“Yet.”
“Yet. Until then, take care and see you soon!”

The moment the camera stopped Kriss grabbed Kim’s face and kissed her in a way that approached hero worship.
“Thank you, Kimmilly. Thank you so much. Hope you understand I just wanted an excuse to dress up and blow something to pop just like you…”
Kimmy was taken aback by the confession, which I must admit was out of character.
“What you did with Barbara…” Kriss went on. “It was so fucking awesome. Made me so hot. And I wanted to do it so fucking bad.”
“I’m sorry we only had one of her”, Kim whispered. “Will you do me instead?”
Kriss simply picked her up and whisked her away, leaving Lex to sweep me off my feet and follow. Since the fun-geon was closest that’s where we ended up and I saw my wife was already on top of the other blonde.
“Wonder Kimber. It suits you.”
“Fuck me, Crystal!” Kim pleaded even though the caped lady was already well underway with that. It was her second fully clothed shag of the day and she minded that as little as when I’d been her partner. Lexi, however, was already stripping and gave me a look suggesting I’d do the same. I remembered Kim’s expression from our hallway meeting and could only think of one thing.
“Lexi, my love, please give me what you gave her earlier..."
It was mine for the asking and if Barb had felt as good being blown to pop she'd died happy. That lady has the lips of a goddess. I’d barely returned the favor when Kriss’ moans proved just how hot Kimmy had made her. She pulled back to remove every garment separating them and motioned for Lex to hand her a toy, any toy. While she strapped that on I went for another box and pulled out a giant but as-yet-empty airship. I brought the yellow rubber to Kim’s lips.
“Show her how hard you come when you blow.”
Her eager puffs were only briefly interrupted by Kriss entering her and then me and Lex beheld a scene that’d top anything else on either performer’s site. As the balloon grew past Krissie’s head she wrapped her arms around and kept going just using her hips.
“Blow, blow, blow, blow” she chanted in time with the thrusts and Kim exploded mid-exhale. After a token recovery she went back to inflating the cigar-shaped monstrosity, but Kriss begged her not to.
“Stop, I wanna ride it…!”
It didn’t take long to arrange that and Lex got the harness back as it’d only chafe the latex apart. Then Crystal Mackenzie did something that’d leave her fans gaping and probably with suddenly too tight trousers. Her movements alone would have gotten her banned from any stage and the circumstances might have put her on some kind of watch list. It was a must-watch for sure and had me so wet I was glad my panties were already on the floor. But just as I was about to do something about that there was a pop that left my lover sitting on the sheets in wanton disappointment.
“I wasn’t dooone…” she whined.
I ran for a replacement in black and began to furiously blow into it, filling the cylinder until there was enough air for Kriss to straddle. Then I knelt by the bed and kept inflating the elongated loon while my darling bounced away on it, pushing some air back into my lungs with every landing. I could hear Kim and Lex getting it on right next to us and glanced at their gyrating forms, humping so vigorously I couldn’t wait for Krissie to be done and start on me. But she took so much pleasure in prolonging the ride I eventually had to tie off her mount and rise to lick and blow in her ear for her to take the hint. By the time she eventually finished our mates were already done and had turned to passionate kissing, doing such an amazing job I had to stop and watch. I can’t help it but I’m so damned turned on by the sight of two people kissing with at least affection and desire – if love comes into it as well it’s even better. And that pair was a prime example of all three. They were gripping each other’s heads with one hand behind the neck and the other under the chin, locking lips so deep and sucking so sweetly I was struck dumb. Kriss noticed I’d started jilling off and guided me down to sit on the airship bulging with my own breath and took over the fingering for me. I pinched and twisted my nipples, utterly unable to look away from tender, erotic scene in front of me. I might have broken their moment when I came but that sensation called for not one but several shouts.
“Wanna see me do that?” Kriss asked.
“So, so much…”
She crept over and tapped Kim’s shoulder.
“May I cut in?”
They were all for letting her and in moments Kim was behind me to work her manual magic while a new episode began for my personal pleasure.
I’m watching my soulmate show another woman how much she loves her. And I couldn’t be happier about it.
Especially as Lexi was at least as enthusiastic as Kriss. God, how I hoped they kissed like that alone in the music room. Every fucking day. Chances were they did as it was beyond evident they knew exactly how to get the most out of it and my vision swirled as I heard a suggestive voice by my ear.
“You love watching that, don’t you?”
“Oh fuck yeah… Could watch for hours…!”
“Good thing then we can kiss for hours”, Kim said. She moistened my favorite neck spot with her lips and blew on it. “Oh Chellie, one of these days you’ll get a kissing show you’ll never forget…”
She began to suck in the same place and then I forgot about everything but the extasy filling me to the bursting point, spilling over and subsiding. The firm mouth didn’t move until I had stopped to and the slight smarting told me I’d have something to show for it. But my fun wasn’t over yet. Now Kim and Kriss put their lustful skills on display for me to see while Lex wrapped her strong, sexy arms around my body. She kissed my shoulders over and over while handling my tits and pussy with such care I wanted to come right away just for a start and then let her begin for real.
“Looks like I should do the other side”, she noted and put her mouth where it would have the best effect. I knew she was planning to give me another hickey and wanted nothing more in the world – except maybe having my blonde lovers repeat what they were doing now about once an hour until the end of time. Given time I would have come just from the sight but my dusky darling sped up the process immensely and I was little more than a limp weight in her embrace when it was over.
I managed something between a wheeze and a groan. “Dunno about you but I’m just about done…”
It seemed a shared sentiment and Kriss inspected my fresh branding with appreciation.
“Only missing one right here.”
Then she applied her lips somewhere straight below the chin to complete the set, and looking in the mirror while dressing li’l old Cheryl was so proud of those marks of ownership she could just about burst.

Everyone had settled down, showered and even gotten a bite to eat. Not bad for one day.
There was the question of what to do with Barbie, of course. Kriss said we would probably get a pretty penny for her carcass and I shot that down right away.
"No. She deserves better than being stuffed and mounted or used as someone's wank rag."
Lex agreed, but said we could hardly bury her in the back yard. "And throwing her away feels wrong."
Then it turned out we'd managed to fuck some sense into Kim, since her suggestion was simple and actually quite beautiful.
"A pyre."
We did have everything needed. Alex dug out a wooden box that had held jars of artisan marmalade and we placed the ex-doll inside it on a bed of scented wood chips. A piece of disused trellis would do for kindling and apart from that we had plenty of barbecue supplies.
So we dressed in black jackets and skirts over dark, low-cut tops – we didn’t want Barbie’s funeral a too somber affair. Then the round coal grill was rolled out, prepared and set aflame while we built a makeshift bier for the box, stacking thin cedar slats on every side. When the coals turned a bright grey I placed the arrangement on top of them and we all stood in a circle around it, blowing in unison on the embers until the kindling caught fire and flared up, engulfing the coffin in flames. As the smoke began to rise Kriss asked me to say a few words. I'd been prepared for that.
“We’re here to say goodbye to Barbara – even if our time together was brief we shared many moments that will be remembered.”
Well, by someone at least, I thought.
“She might not have been a great conversationalist but still played a part in any discussions around her. And now that she’s gone there’ll be no one to take her place.”
God willing.
"She was an excellent cuddle companion and an inspi...inflation to us all."
Here Lex almost cracked up and I damned near followed. The smoke had grown black and thick as it billowed upwards to disperse into the atmosphere. I let my gaze follow it.
“So rest in pieces, Barbie. Tiny, tiny pieces. In a way you’ll always be ‘on the air’.”
Kriss had brought a trumpet along and raised it to her lips, playing exactly one chorus of ‘I’ll Fly Away’. And instead of tears there was a bout of wistful laughter.
“Beautiful”, Kim said, not entirely insincere.
“And that was that”, I said. “Ladies, in remembrance of the departed I suggest we spend the rest of the night… cuddling.”
Everyone agreed there’d be no better way to honor her memory.

To give the viewers some closure Barbara made a posthumous appearance on the show, in the form of a cropped screencap from her last day on the job – printed and framed with a black band across the corner and placed in front of her usual seat next to Kimber. The studio was bedecked with a row of shiny black balloons and Kim had a devil of a time appearing suitably solemn blowing them up. She was wearing her funerary outfit, with the addition of a white pearl necklace and one of Kriss’ black hats with a strip of veil hanging from the brim. The reason for her suppressed mirth was the thought of bringing balloons to a place of mourning. No matter their color they would seem out of place, and she might have a point. However, this was ‘On the Air’ and they were kinda expected. Besides, she’d been dying to make another decoration video for the members.
The episode had been an easy write, being about characters disappearing from TV series following the actor’s death. Kim acknowledged Barbara’s passing and went on to say she was far from the first to be written out of show due to critical existential failure.
“Many kids had their first introduction to death when Mr. Hooper passed away on 'Sesame Street'. The character had been created by Will Lee and rather than recasting they let the character die along with him, gently explaining the concept to the audience. In television for adults such explanations are usually missing, with people you might have followed for years suddenly gone from one episode to next with little to no comment. Dan Blocker, who played Hoss - one of the main characters – on ‘Bonanza’, died between seasons and was simply never mentioned again.”
Other less egregious examples followed, like Sgt. Esterhaus on ‘Hill Street Blues’, Paul Hennessy from ‘8 Simple Rules’ and Bill McNeil of ‘NewsRadio’. Their passing was at least acknowledged in-show.
“Even animated characters can be hit with this – Paul Newman’s Doc Hudson from ‘Cars’ didn’t return in the sequels due to the actor’s death and was very strongly implied to have died as well – if sentient cars can die, that is.”
She went on to say that while recasting may be necessary when someone is crucial to the plot, permanently retiring a character is usually seen as a tribute to the performer, hinting they were irreplaceable.
“Barbie won’t be replaced either, though I might bring in a temporary co-host from time to time – like my dear friend Cheryl Silvers, who writes the scripts, handles the camera and generally keeps me in line. And she’s truly irreplaceable - if she dies, the show’s over. Come here, Cherry!”
I hadn’t written anything but the first part of that line, and had some trouble remaining untouched for my appearance. I too wore the same as I had by the pyre, although with a white button-up shirt to hide my hickeys. I took Barb’s seat and put her picture away.
We chatted a bit about the value of having someone to bounce lines off at times and agreed Barbie could have been better at it. Then Kim said she hoped people wouldn’t miss her silent partner too much and reminded them Halloween was coming up, rhetorically asking if they’d thought of what to go as yet. She claimed to be undecided, which I knew was a lie.
We signed off and went to record a little number for the subscribers, a saxophone and trumpet duet of ‘When the Saints Go Marching In’ to remind everyone a sendoff needn’t be all sad.
Afterwards I took her to task for the unsanctioned addition. Besides catching me off-guard, it hadn’t been quite truthful either.
“’Dear friend’, huh? What happened to ‘ultimate fuck buddy’?”
I got a sly grin in return. “That’s your expression. They mean the same to me.”
“Prove it.”
Well, I could buy it provided it’s said the way she did a few minutes later.

Barbara did leave something of a legacy. For one thing, she proved we were indeed on the radar of entertainment sites, as a prominent one ran a clickbait story on "TALK SHOW HOST BLOWS HER CO-STAR UP ON THE AIR". The accompanying link sent our view meter through the roof, and site membership rose as well. Suddenly every old video had new comments to go through, but none close to the amount on the latest one. It may or may not surprise you how many had been hoping for exactly that, and none considered it an outrage. I'm actually just gonna mention one of the more private notes. A fella told us he'd been watching the show on the bus as usual, and had stifled a laugh when the headphones announced the secret identities. Then he'd been happy he'd been sitting in the back with no one to look over his shoulder:
'When you picked her up my heart began pounding like crazy and my blood turned to ice. I couldn't believe it was about to happen and then it did. I kept thinking she's not actually gonna do it and was wrong. I wanted to turn it off but couldn't, just HAD to keep looking, was so turned on and so embarrassed I thought everyone would notice and when the POP came so did I. Right there in my pants. And no one even turned around. I smiled all the way home, just got in, and when I've sent this and cleaned up I'm gonna watch it again.'
Kim was pleased as punch about that one. As for what her former colleagues thought, there wasn’t a single Angel who would have turned down doing that skit on the stage. If not for the months-long setup it would have been right up there with our other crowd-pleasers.
Amanda was outright grateful, as the demonstration of what it would take to pop those dolls on purpose made Betty much less reluctant to get rough with theirs. She had half a mind to try it herself since her obstetrician had suggested breath exercises in preparation for the big day.
“If he only knew!” she laughed.
“You’re already an expert on those. How’s the rest feel?”
“Can’t wait! I’m so jealous of Vannie and Carrie!”
I wouldn’t say I was, but then again, the show was kinda turning into my baby – needing constant attention and hopefully one day be something to remember me by.
Preferably fondly.