I finally managed to do it! No tricks, no gimmicks, and at long last no chickening out, just me, a balloon, and blowing it up until it went BANG!
For some background, a few months ago I started doing b2ps using a hose, so that I could blow from another room. This made the pop much quieter on my end, which made it much easier for me, and was exciting in its own way since I couldn't see how big the balloon was getting, but it hardly felt like a "real" b2p to me, and I wanted to go further. I tried blowing some up really big on those one-way valves you can get, and I even managed to inflate to pop some in the same room with an electric pump, but in the end it always proved too big a step to keep on blowing.
The other day I'd blown up a 12" Unique pretty big as part of normal play, and I showed it to an online friend, who's not a looner but finds the fetish interesting. I mentioned that I wanted to put more air in but was scared of it popping – and he promptly came back, happily encouraging me to keep going!
That encouragement gave me confidence I never thought I'd have, and I strapped the balloon onto a valve – and put on more ear and eye protection. Even so, it was a scary prospect lying there faced with this balloon, getting full but able to take much more. I started blowing, not even paying attention to the balloon, just breath after breath after breath. If I kept up the routine I wouldn't think about the incoming bang and how loud it would probably be, and I didn't want to disappoint my friend by saying I couldn't do it. It was taking a lot more than I thought, and blowing in more air was getting difficult. I stopped and dared to sneak a peek at what was happening.
This balloon was
massive. I couldn't easily tell, but it looked bigger across than a fresh 14" blown up full, and the neck was straining against where I'd tied it to the valve, wider at the bottom than it was where it met the bulb. I couldn't resist touching it ever so gently, though I knew it could very well pop at any moment. It was utterly hard – I didn't dare try to press down, but I doubt I would have made even the slightest dent.
A sudden jolt of courage shot through me. I was going to do it. I was going to blow to pop this balloon like I'd wanted to for so long, and I wasn't going to stop for anything. Hastily I pulled my hand back and started blowing again, quick and sharp. I blew and blew and blew and-
BANG!
I felt the pop in my chest almost before I heard it, and a shred of latex snapped me on the cheek. I opened my eyes, swimming in a haze of adrenaline. The balloon was indeed gone, with only a few little shards of latex and a ragged stump of a mouthpiece on the valve to show that it was ever there. Relief swam through me. I'd done it.
I started typing in profuse thanks to my friend with shaking hands, all while trying to gather up all the pieces I could find. I couldn't believe I'd just done that! Not only that, but through all the ear protection the bang hadn't even been that loud! That hadn't been nearly as scary as I'd expected!
I haven't yet attempted a b2p again since then, and I suspect I won't find it as easy when I do because that's just how things go, but now I know that I can do it, and more than that I can enjoy it. My phobia has come a long way in recent years, and this is another blow against it (hah). I still have a lot of 12" Uniques, and I'm curious to see if they all get quite so big...
My first "proper" b2p!
