ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 37

We would be able to take an even longer vacation than we'd thought as a final set of videos arrived before we could even decide on a departure date. Last out of my old colleagues were the first ones hooking up - Sam and Jo had been a couple for a year longer than Kim and Alex, and married the same weekend I got Kriss back. Good times, but the present ones were even better.
Joanne hadn't only taken Samantha's surname but now went by her middle name - Jennifer - even if she'll always be Jo to us. You might have seen their names in the bookstores and if you thought 'by Jen and Sam Vandermeer' meant a husband-and-wife team you were half right.
Anyways, what they'd cooked up wasn't exactly a literary effort but a visual one. The first videos showed Sam in a black V-necked tee with some kind of art print. Something more elaborate wasn't needed - she's always had that girl-next-door quality that made seeing her in outrageous stage acts even more exciting. Imagine watching your pretty neighbor blowing a hot water bottle to bursting and what that would do to you. Since I'd screened their fan mail, I knew what it had done to some.
Not that she'd ever been plain or homely - quite the opposite - just giving off those small town vibes, or the feeling you could run into her grocery shopping. Her makeup was simple but striking and the small metal balls dangling from her ears were there to prove she'd indeed dressed up for the shoot, no matter how casual she looked.
Samantha sat surrounded by balloons of all colors, the common detail being that they all had a face of some kind printed on. Or drawn. She's really good at that, and had managed pretty funny likenesses of Letterman, Leno, Oprah - and somewhat surprisingly, Kim. Well, not surprising she could do it since she'd made the title animation, just that the small-time host was included among the big shots.
The factory-made designs dominated, though. There were regular smileys, loons with surprised, angry or laughing expressions, even a big peach balloon with a more realistic female face sporting bangs, eyes with lashes, nostrils and pronounced lips. One balloon had just eyes and a mustache, another the full anime look.
I smiled to myself. What a bunch of airheads.
What Sam wanted to tell everyone about was caricatures, an art form it was evident she had some experience with.
"The name comes from Italian - caricato - which means loaded. And you can say it's a picture loaded with meaning – or with overloaded details. It's usually meant to ridicule someone by exaggerating their traits, physical and otherwise. It's great for satire or mocking someone, but also good for just a laugh - it doesn't have to be mean-spirited. Think of it as the visual version of a roast."
She explained one of the first practitioners was Leonardo da Vinci, who attempted to find ways to make a more striking depiction than a mere portrait could. Later, aristocrats in Italy and France commissioned such portraits to be passed around among their friends for amusement. The style became popular in the 1700’s and was used both to illustrate public life in general and to lambast particular politicians – both are still in use but now includes humorous imaginations of celebrities as well.
“Caricatures can be other things than pictures, of course - any exaggeration of someone’s personality, style and mannerisms counts, both in writing and acting. But I’m focusing on the artistic version.”
Then she went through some masters of the art - Daumier, Cruikshank, Beerbohm, Hirschfeld. I'd heard many of the names but could probably not match any drawings to them.
"And a personal hero many of you probably remember - Mort Drucker, who drew all those great movie parodies in MAD magazine."
Those I knew. Always thought them pretty funny, and spot on at times. Sam jumped from naming names to more personal perspectives.
"If you're self-conscious, don't ask a professional caricaturist to do your portrait. Because they will draw attention to what's most notable about you. It's probably not what most people see, though, which is why many are impressed by it. But if you want to practice your skills, maybe don't do it with your friends."
Sound advice. Celebs get paid for being under scrutiny, after all.
"Try it with yourself - you should be pretty familiar with that face in the mirror."
She picked up a large-ish square of drawing board and a black marker. "Take me, for example. I'm just going to do a real quick one."
The pen danced over the surface and soon she held it up to reveal a pretty decent if not flattering likeness.
"What I'd go for first are these." She pointed at the impression of her front teeth. "It's not that they're huge but that my lips don't always want to close on their own, so they're often on display. I made that a bit bigger here so you can't miss it. The shape of the face is important too - mine's pretty oval but the chin's a bit pointy so I exaggerated it. If my jaw had been square I'd gone for that instead."
Well, a big chin was a prominent part of the Leno loon. Even I had noticed the original sported a remarkable one.
"Eyebrows are super important because if you get them right you're almost home free. Eyes vary a lot depending on where people look and how much they're opened, but brows are almost as expressive and move less. Don't worry too much about the actual eye - lids, pouches and wrinkles are what you should look for, and the overall shape. If someone wears distinctive glasses, all the better. Just make them bigger – or smaller, if they’re undersized."
Her Letterman drawing showed that nicely. She spoke a bit about proportions and how the distance between features can be just as telling as an actual likeness, pointing out the space between Oprah’s eyes as an example.
"You can leave the ears alone unless they stick out or have some kind of special appearance - then go all in."
Her own wife would prolly get hit with that, what with her ears being slightly pointed and all. Not that you could tell with those masses of hair swept over the tips. Jo’s cheekbones were much more noticeable. And the sharp angles of her eyebrows.
I reflected Sam should be pleased. Now she had me doing it.
"I've saved a special point for last. Noses are very common targets for caricatures, but they work better from the side and best if there's something remarkable about them. Mine's a bit upturned so that should be seen in the pic, but otherwise I don't think it adds much. With someone like Streisand though you have a bit more to work with. Of course, that’s just my opinion and if you look at professional caricatures you’ll see lots of ‘nose jobs’."
It struck me Sam had never done that kind of likeness of me. I wondered what would stand out to someone like her. Always thought my nose could be shorter, and my forehead. Maybe that groove in the upper lip, whatever it’s called. Phil something.
"I'm not the best at this but I thought I'd tell you what I do when I wanna make something like this. I think it's pretty fun, so try for yourselves if you like drawing. Look for the unique details and exaggerate them, and try not to be too mean. If you only focus on one feature it will look like you’re dumping on them having it instead of making a portrait. And that’s what I think a good caricature should be – a portrait with lots of character. A character-ture."
She told the viewers goodbye and signed off, prompting me to open the next video.
In it, we were treated to the sight of Sam blowing up every single balloon for her shoot, and her clear delight in a task that had once unnerved her was a joy to behold. Loon after loon filled up with her breath, turning into glorious pear shapes adorned with different reactions. The worrisome face seemed to fear she was going to blow in too much air but she stopped once a neck started to form, just like with all the others. She took particular care inflating the ladylike visage, puffing away with clear anticipation and appearing very satisfied with the final result.
"Look at those lips!" she said and held the full-blown balloon up for the camera before kissing it right on the mouth.
Four more pre-prepared balloons were brought in and blown up, turning into the homemade caricatures I mentioned. The last to be inflated was the one depicting Kimber herself and the real deal sighed "Oh yeah, blow me, Sammy!". I was sure she'd use the same tones if the orange-haired beauty was giving her actual head.
It was oddly fitting with a caricaturist literally blowing facial features out of proportion, especially with her own cheeks filling up and bulging out with the effort. As we’d already seen all the balloons in place it was a bit of a countdown of how many she’d left to blow up and I knew if she started to inflate an unfamiliar face it would pop along the way. Although it turned out all the loons held up which would probably be a disappointment to some.
Eventually the room matched how it looked in the report and the clip ended. But just like the rest, she'd made a short special too. In that one, she told the viewers not to feel sorry for popped balloons even if they had some sort of personality. She took an empty yellow one from her pocket and shook it flat before stretching it a few times. Then it was brought to her lips as Sam quickly inhaled and began blowing it up. The regular silly smiley was facing the camera as it expanded with each puff and soon it was full enough to start stretching out lengthwise. There was a brief struggle as the air fought to take another route, some of it not going in at all and some slipping out through the pinched latex. The accompanying whine had Samantha give it an indulgent glare and a brief admonishing before resuming her task.
"Oh, stop moaning - you love it."
That did indeed seem to be the case, as the balloon's stupid smile was growing ever wider. The rubber creaked as its neck began to approach the very limit, but Samantha showed it no mercy and just kept blowing and blowing until it burst and shattered into several pieces that flew out of frame. She bent down to pick up the biggest one and unfolded it to show the miraculously undamaged - albeit off-centered - face.
"See? Still smiling. So don't worry about hurting them."
With that, she put down the rubber and produced a long gleaming pin.
"After all, popping is part of being a balloon."
As if to prove her words Sam pointedly jabbed the sharp metal into the nearest loon, the laughing face, and it vanished with a dull bang. Then she meticulously disposed of all of the others in the same way, every expression making a sharp noise while turning into a small shower of balloon debris and falling out of view. She appeared to hesitate for just a second next to the ladyface loon, but it was just an act and it too got burst into nothingness - a brief paf and it was gone, lashes, lips and all.
It was a regular massacre, accompanied by what could have been the sound of the world's slowest machine gun. The only balloon escaping a noisy doom was the one depicting Kim.
"I think I'll save this one", Sam said and picked it up. "In case there's some voodoo hex and I end up exploding your regular host."
Kriss broke into laughter at that. The rest of us had already chuckled at the possibility back at the theatre.

So that was it for the first presentation. But Jo had made one too, and the sight of her made Alex sit bolt upright.
"Holy shit."
We all knew she'd made a switch from leather jackets, boots and jeans to more stylish stuff, but this outfit was exceedingly elegant. She wore a very nice open cream jacket over a light yellow shirt and patterned burgundy tie. A matching hankie protruded carelessly from her breast pocket and on the opposite side a thick strand of her long black hair ran down her chest. The silver crescent earrings offset her dusky skin and kohled eyes and she very much looked the part of a fashion-conscious author appearing on TV to promote her latest book. Well, she wasn't a very established writer yet and children's books tend to get little airtime, but I could see her getting there.
"Not bad", Kriss agreed.
At least she had Lexi's full attention as she began to talk about some classics in her genre and what had made them so influential, like Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz, The Wind in the Willows and Winnie-the-Pooh. Older stories were often short cautionary tales or variations on archetypes, she said, while the groundbreaking ones added fantastic elements seldom seen before. That, and the bonus exotism, had been a major factor in Arabian Nights becoming so popular in the west. Although one had to remember that those weren't intended for children, like so many other books usually censored and simplified for kids - Gulliver's Travels being a prime example.
I thought Jo was a good sport appearing on such a dubious show, what with her new career and everything. Might not be something someone in her position would like to be associated with, although she did introduce herself saying "My old friend Kimber has asked if I have something interesting to tell her viewers".
And she had, if you were into that kind of trivia. Her approach was tongue-in-cheek and quite humorous, just like the ostensibly serious image. Jo's amused and sly smile told everyone she was quite pleased to take part, and someone must have put up that mylar alphabet in the background.
Sure enough, the preparation video showed her inflating every balloon with a couple of strong puffs each. Like Sam, she was wearing her presentation outfit for the job and even made the clip comically educational.
"Some call me a woman of letters" she began. "Let's see if I can live up to that."
She took out a small, slim volume. "I'm going to read you a favorite of mine, 'The Gashlycrumb Tinies' by Edward Gorey."
Then Jo lifted the first letter. "A", she said and blew it up, withdrawing the tube to display it.
"A is for Amy, who fell down the stairs."
As the small mylar went onto the wall Kriss exclaimed "What?!" with a disbelieving laugh. Evidently it wasn't your everyday alphabet book.
The procedure was repeated for the next letter. "B is for Basil, assaulted by bears."
And so she went on all the way to Z, but unlike the literary children the balloons survived.
"You should check it out yourselves", Jo finished. "The words don't quite do the illustrations justice."
I made a mental note to do so. It hadn't been quite clear what happened to "Titus, who flew into bits" but I was pretty sure he hadn't been blown to pop. The same couldn't be said for the subscriber exclusive loon.
"I'd like to quote A.A. Milne", Jo said. "'No one can be uncheered with a balloon'. He might be right, right? Let's check."
She took a limp balloon from her pocket and the rich red hue was pretty cheerful in itself. It was of a nice size too - I guessed twelve inches fully inflated, or maybe eleven. Definitely not a ten anyway.
At the moment it was just a pouch of wrinkled rubber though, but Jo quickly remedied that. She blew it up in an almost scientific manner, as if it was intended for some physics experiment.
The only question that was answered right away was how much her cheeks could puff out, since she made them as big and shiny as she'd ever done on stage. The contrast to her sharp cheekbones was both impressive and eye-catching, just like back then.
She stopped at the diameter normally used for party decorations and held it up for inspection, tilting her head as she looked it over.
"Yes, I'd call that a happy sight. I'm sure most of you agree."
I knew that she knew the audience and it must have been difficult to not let on more than that subtle acknowledgement.
"I think Milne was wrong, though. Under certain circumstances a balloon can be outright uncheering. Shall we see?"
Expecting no answer she turned back to the balloon and begain blowing anew. It grew to the most cheerful size of all, sporting half a neck and reflecting all the lights in the room. But that wasn't what Jo was after and kept going until the neck was as full as it could possibly get and the loon had taken on a definitely worrisome aspect. Any rough handling would be enough to make it explode, and the huge breath the attractive woman blew in with all her might turned out to fit that bill. There was a violent boom and the gaudy sphere was torn into red tatters that scattered all over, a piece even sticking to Jo's hair. All that was left in her hand was a latex tube with jagged edges that had absolutely zero cheeriness about it. The owner looked suitably dismayed, having shown no reaction whatsoever to the actual pop. That had always been one of her more impressive talents.
"Yes, I definitely think the man was wrong. About balloons in this state, at least."
She put the neckpiece aside. "By the way, Milne spelled the sound an exploding balloon makes in an...interesting way. B-A-N-G - three exclamation marks - three question marks - three asterisks and three more exclamation marks." Jo shrugged. "Maybe they popped differently in the 1920's. I think one exclamation mark would be enough, no matter if you put BANG, BOOM, BLAM or POP."
The knowing grin as she carefully pronounced the effects proved she definitely knew her audience, but as Kriss would say, there was no evidence. She could just as well be merely a writer having fun with words.
"Or even KABLOOEY, but I'd save that for really big ones."
In all my years around bursting balloons I'd never heard any make a noise even in the neighborhood of that, but it's a nice figure of speech and does look good on paper.
"POOF is definitely a pooltoy giving up, I know that."
I remembered Poof the Magic Dragon who had eventually not lived up to that name. And neither could Jo be referring to the mattress Sam had blown to pop under her. But otherwise the idea was sound.
"Now, if you'll excuse me..." She took a whole fistful of balloons from her other pocket and twirled them around in her hand. "I think I'll go cheer myself up."
And off she went, leaving everyone to wonder whether she really did.
I got the pair on a video link to thank them for the contribution and asked Sam if she'd picked the caricatures at random.
"Just some people in the biz I thought would be recognizable."
"No Ellen, I noticed."
"I thought one queer icon enough."
Maybe not quite there yet but I wondered if Kim would like to be one. Probably.
"TV hosts are pretty safe too", Sam said, "not likely to offend anyone. Else. Though just for fun I drew 45 on an orange one but he might have popped before making it to the camera."
I raised an eyebrow. "Overinflated?"
"As good a word as any."
Jo snickered and Kim sent a different question her way.
"So, did you manage to cheer yourself up?"
"Sort of. I just blew one to pop though, to check what it sounded like. PUM, as usual."
"You were so hot in that suit", Lexi said. "Lucky bitch", she added to Sam.
"Luckiest bitch in the world, that's me!"
Jo's blush grew even deeper, which was adorable. Bashfulness isn't something you'd attribute to her at first glance. "Thanks", she managed.
"No, thank you. Really."
Judging by the comments on most every 'On the Air' installment, Alex is a lucky bitch too. But novelty is always nice.
A few days later we got a letter from Sam, containing the deflated Kim balloon and a note saying 'Just so you won't think I've popped you'.
Kimmy sent a message by return post - 'You can make me pop any day' - signed with her name and lipstick impression. She did keep the loon, of course.

As it would be hard to split Sam's popping clip the subscribers got all of it while the members would have to settle for watching the decorations this time. I prepared all the vids from the Angels for broadcast, with Kim recording introductions and end segments. Since Vanita had introduced herself by name and Tessa would get some advertisement for her guided tours by being featured, Betty and Mandy ended up being the only ones appearing under their stage names. Maybe just as well, as 'Kamala Verhmi' was definitely a bit on the raunchy side.
The vacation would come in handy for cheering Kim up since the new She-Ra episodes had ended on a rather dour note for her team. The show could honestly go any way at this point but it was after all just a cartoon and a real-world getaway might be just the thing to turn her thoughts in another direction. I looked forward to some R&R too and had decided the first video to be filmed once we were back would be a real easy one to write.
Having put the show-relevant stuff on my laptop all that remained was packing some bags and saying a thorough all-night goodbye before heading out on the road. I hoped Kriss and Kim would have as good a time as me and Lex planned to.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Some technical issues delayed this a bit, but here's

Episode 38

We set out early after sharing some final kisses with our mates and headed southwards. We'd decided to see if the Grand Canyon lived up to its name and Flagstaff would probably be a good place to start. Lexi was drawn by the promise of public musical happenings and I by the remnants of Route 66. While far from a motorhead I wanted to see the near-mythical road for myself.
We could probably have gotten there in less than five hours if we hadn't made stops along the way - it was a leisure trip after all. I'd encouraged Lex to bring her trumpet because I know how much Kriss miss playing when on the road. She says it's great to have an instrument along if inspiration strikes.
Along the first stretch we got to talking about how we'd never dreamed about going on trips together back at the Stone, and what kind of impression Lexi had made on me during the audition.
"You looked so powerful and cool. Knew we could use something like that."
She smiled. "I used to worry it was a token thing."
"In Brooklyn? Really?"
"Casting's casting. Only came because I fit the requirements."
"And then some. Looking back I may have done some stereotyping, but you were always the strong one."
Lex brought up something I’d never really thought about. "Did you have to blow up any balloons for your audition?"
"No, and it was more of an interview. The loons... might have been my idea."
"Really?"
"Had to weed out the wusses some way, right? And I knew I couldn't hire anyone afraid of a bang." Then I told her how I'd come up with what size to use. "I felt pretty stupid sitting alone in my office - in an almost empty building - with all sizes of balloons the party store had on display in front of me. And then blowing them up one by one until I got too scared to btp."
"Where was that? Only remember it felt huge."
"Eighteen."
"Sounds about right. But you managed sixteen? Wow."
"Not without hesitating. The next one - just no. And you'd all have to be braver than me."
There was a brief chuckle. "Can't say I enjoyed that part, but knew it was needed the job."
"That's one way of putting it. Poor Sam nearly failed right then and there. But she was up front about it and her pushing through anyway was the most impressive thing that day."
"I can imagine. I faked not being scared."
"And I bought it."
"But once I got into things it was so much fun. And I'd no idea I'd like you so much."
I risked turning my head for a teasing glance. "So you like me, huh?"
"No. I love you. And speaking of that, I need a kiss pause."
After a brief stop we drove on and I told her about some of the girls that hadn't made the cut, either from attitude problems, lack of talent or inability to blow up a big balloon until it burst.
"If you still think I did token casting, I threw out a few prime examples. Like the Italian prima donna I could tell would cause friction a mile off, and the JAP who thought loons were beneath her. She played the clarinet too, so two strikes in her case."
"What is it with you and those?"
She meant clarinets, of course. The name's Silvers, remember?
"Just something about the sound. It rubs me the wrong way."
I mentioned a few other washouts in various hues.
"Yes, I did typecast. The ditz, the brit, the gymnast, the tough one. But color was never an issue. I wouldn't care if you were purple, green or blue."
“Would’ve been cool to match with loons”, Lex laughed.
I nodded. “Or contrast.”

We eventually reached Kingman, had a bite at a buffet, visited the Route 66 museum and drove onwards on what was left of the real thing. It wasn't exactly the I-40, or what I'd imagined. Rural might be a good word. Still, it was pleasant, rather scenic and what recreations of the glory days there were at least didn't feel tacky.
"Pull over", Lex demanded at a particularly deserted stretch.
As we came to a halt she slid closer on the bench seat, blew in my ear and ran her fingers up my thigh.
"I'd never forgive myself if I didn't get my kicks on Route Sixty-six..."
If there'd been even less cars passing by we would've added three to that number but as it was hands had to do and soon we were rubbing each other the right way, going well over the speed limits on the way to Climaxtown. Lexi's light summer dress wasn't in the way at all and my slacks didn't seem to give her much trouble, even if it took just a little longer to finish me off. Her parting gaze as we buckled up again told me she'd decided on a playful trip and I was all aboard for that.
We arrived in Seligman and looked at all the nostalgic installations lining the road through the small one-story town. We just had to check out a few of the overloaded memorabilia shops and while Lexi went to use the restroom I made a small purchase to spring on her later. Then we drove straight on to Flagstaff and our hotel.
I must admit 'Krazy Kat' had given me a somewhat skewed impression of Coconino County. I wasn't prepared for so many pines, but it was a pleasant surprise. It was only mid-afternoon, so Lex was basically jumping to hit the town at once.
We were staying pretty close to Heritage Square but if she'd expected it to be a hotbed of cultural expression it must have been disappointing. Two guys hitting their bongos on the amphitheater steps provided the only musical happening at that moment, and they weren't performing as much as fooling around.
Otherwise the place was moderately bustling but the simmering weather meant it wasn't overcrowded. I hated for her to have brought the horn along for nothing and made a suggestion.
"Why don't you find some shade and blow a few notes? I'll get us coffee."
She seemed both eager and hesitant so I prodded a bit.
"Try putting your feelings about the place into music. Kriss would love hearing that."
"Okay. But take the case - don't want anyone think I'm busking."
She took up position under one of the scant, small trees surrounding the open space, choosing a somewhat inconspicuous location. As I went looking for takeaway cups I could hear her intoning, which was something at least. Hopefully she wouldn't back down.
I returned a little later with the hot beverages, which actually made the summer heat feel less acute. Slow notes were drifting through the air in a totally inobtrusive way and Lexi seemed more relaxed than when I'd left. She took a break to drink.
"Now I feel weird..." she said.
"Go back to playing then. Didn't see anyone glaring at you."
Lex lifted the horn again and began on a tune from hers and Kriss' most recent batch. It was kinda catchy, but not a standout in my opinion. The second one she played was superior to my ears and it was halfway through that someone actually called Lexi out on her activities.
"Hey, Sweet Cheeks!"
It wasn't a random compliment but a listener recognizing her - a young man with what looked like a large saxophone case accompanied by a friend carrying an upright bass on his back. They got to talking music right away and Lex answered questions about both the whereabouts of Crystal Mackenzie, upcoming releases and if she felt puffing her cheeks added anything to the sound. Along the way I was introduced but mostly stayed passive, only noting I've dabbled a bit with the trumpet and the tuba. Then they asked if Alex felt like jamming a bit and you should have seen her face. You'd have thought she'd been offered the keys to the city or something and they said no one would mind them doing a bit of that right then and there. So they did, and listening to that was a pretty neat way to spend half an hour. We even went for a pre-dinner beer with our new acquaintances Brian and Josh, who thought it had been far nicer to play with Lex than going on to their regular two-man session. I'm sure she agreed.

The unexpected encounter had brightened the day even more and set a great mood as we ate, walked and did the usual vacation stuff until it started to get late. Back at the hotel room we showered the travel dust off and got in touch with K&K somewhere in California. When my wife realized there was only one train to L.A. a day - and that it'd take all day to get there - she quickly changed the itinerary to an early Frisco flight for a comparatively brief look at that locality before taking a sleeper to the City of Angels. They'd just boarded that and seemed cozy enough, so we decided to cuddle up too.
Having left the dolls at home this time there were just a few toys to keep track of, although I did bring out what I'd bought earlier in the day and dangled it in front of Lex.
"Maybe not quite eighteen inches, but I thought I'd make sure you'd enjoy it this time."
The balloon was at least somewhat oversized, white, and printed with the classic shield and road name. My lover took it from my fingers with a smile.
"Been enjoying it for a long time now."
I leaned in from behind to whisper in her ear while easing the dress off her shoulders.
"Blow it up."
Starting right away but taking her time, Lex filled the latex with her breath while I kept stripping and fondling, kissing whatever new places were revealed. As the loon grew a neck I plucked it from her lips, let all the air out and handed it back for her to reinflate. While she was still at it I sat down on the bed and pulled her along between my legs, a perfect place to hold and handle her huge breasts.
“I like these balloons even better…”
She made a pleased sound as she added another puff to the actual loon, then deflated it without prompting and started over. I moved her onto her back and went down.
“Wouldn’t have told Kriss to spoil Kim if I wasn’t planning to do the same to you…”
For my own pleasure I slipped in one of those vibrating egg thingies and then set about working on Lexi in earnest. The glistening wet pinkness of her pussy yielded to my tongue and within moments I had her quivering all over. The muted buzzing of my toy mingled with the lapping sounds of licks and kisses while other noises came from above – now more moans than whooshes - but she never stopped blowing for long and I hoped the balloon wouldn’t pop too soon or at all because I was enjoying myself far too much. Making her come once was just an appetizer and only increased my fervor. Two fingers between my own legs made me catch up and go all in on pleasing my darling, who was still blowing up her big balloon over and over again. The second time she popped mid-breath and her yelps almost drowned out the sputtering of escaping air. But I was far from done and not until she’d stopped shaking after the fourth round did she call for a halt.
“Lemme blow you now”, she whined.
I rolled over with a counterdemand. “Only if you keep blowing the loon at the same time.”
Lexi was more than willing to play along and her amazing lips on my clit coupled with expanding latex against my belly made me finish before the balloon had a chance to. She took the chance to let it go and I saw it fly off as she began to suck me off hard as an encore. I crossed the finish line screaming and she crawled up into my arms, burrowing her face against my shoulder. We fell asleep pretty much like that. It had been a long day.

The next morning dawned over Arizona and we made good use of the complimentary breakfast. Then we got back to the room and got dressed properly, Lexi picking out a very light pastel yellow dress and brushing her wig into a happy breeziness that made her look amazingly girly – something she underscored with the makeup. My lover was almost giggling as she blew the big balloon back up as an accessory, but then it burst in her face without warning. She seemed genuinely disappointed as she blinked at the sad pieces.
“Aw shit… My balloon popped.”
I went up to kiss her. “I’ll buy you a new one. Ones. In fact a whole bunch.”
Because if Lex wanted to carry a balloon around while sightseeing, I’d just been struck with an idea. I finished buttoning my short-sleeved khaki blouse and while the burgundy pants weren’t optimal for the climate they were at least loose and light around my legs. Putting my hair up in a ponytail made Lexi appear even more feminine in contrast, which was sort of my intention.
We went out and had an ice cream while waiting for the stores to open, checking out the architecture and general layout of downtown Flagstaff. Then we went into a toyshop and bought a bag of colorful 10-inchers and a kid’s fishing pole before heading over to Wheeler Park. The sign naming the place put me in mind of ‘The Flintstones’ and I smiled at the memory of how we’d used the theme song at home. A somewhat secluded bench got to serve as a starting point for my plan and I ripped the bag of balloons open.
“Let me blow them up for you, baby. You get that pole ready.”
Lex didn’t have to do much except putting the cap on to make sure it wouldn’t telescope out – one segment was plenty. She tore the hook, float and sinker off the line and instead began to attach the balloons. I kept inflating them as quickly as I could and soon a full dozen was trailing the pole. As it was a bag of twenty I kept going, but more than fifteen would have looked a little much so we stopped there. Alex was grinning from ear to ear as she rose and held the bright blue stick over her shoulder, actually skipping around as the loons bobbed behind her. The pearly laugh was a bit at odds with her shoulders and biceps, but not her face and overall appearance. I took her hand and kissed it before leading her along on a leisurely walk through the surroundings.
It was a very pleasant outing and we sure drew a few a gazes, probably because of the gaudy globes - which were admittedly eye-catching. I snapped lots of photos of Lex posing with them all around the park and in the surrounding streets, sending a particularly nice one over to California right away. The reaction was satisfying to us both.
However, one can’t really carry a thing like that just anywhere and it sort of got in the way for actually doing things besides watching, so when lunchtime approached Lexi looked around carefully before planting the pole in a huge flowerpot and striding off. No one accosted us for littering so we had nice, refreshing salads in a shaded outside eatery while discussing what to do next. Lex surprised me by suggesting going out of town.
“I kinda want to see the meteor crater. Wanna know how one actually looks.”
As I too was pretty curious we headed that way, donning sunhats for the ride as the morning had shown us they would probably be a good idea.
The actual site was imposing and impressive, making you wonder just what kind of detonation it would take to create a hole like that. Just for fun I sent a photo to K&K stating we’d found a store advertising “the world’s biggest balloons” and that Lexi had tried blowing one to pop, the crater being the implied result. Got me a laughing smiley in return, at least.

On the way back we checked the outskirts of the town, but there wasn’t anything particularly remarkable about them. However, it was there a gentle tinkle alerted me to a message from Kriss. She'd taking a very alluring picture of Kim holding just a few balloons on a string, but they were perfectly round sixteens or eighteens. Not satisfied with just being copycats they'd outdone us in size as well, which actually didn't look quite as nice as Lexi's bouquet. Still a great and joyous snap, of course.
I called the photographer up to call her out, and she admitted it might have been a bit much. And that there hadn't been time for too many shots before the wind blew the loons into a cactus.
I exploded too. "You had her pose that close to one of those?"
"Not that close! But she kind of lost her grip and..."
"Kriss, I'll never forgive you if you didn't film it. Or at least captured the aftermath."
She'd done the latter and it was glorious. The photoshoot would be a great site extra, especially since she'd included Kim inflating her props on location as well.
I couldn't resist chiding her. "A gentleman would have blown them up for his lady."
"I'm no man", Kriss chortled, "but I still did two of them."
"Still less than half. Step up your game, missy!"
She promised to and me and Lex went back to the hotel to dress for dinner. I'd made reservations at a place popular with the queer crowd since we'd be attending as a very obvious couple and didn't want a single glance spoiling it.
While Lexi smoothed out one of her best dresses I unpacked my light grey suit and placed it on the bed while putting on the shirt. Holding up a deep red tie and a purple with silver stripes I asked Lex which one she preferred. She chose the striped one as the color matched her outfit and I smiled at her delight in my choice of clothes. I'd brought it for her, after all, and the purring grin as she tightened my neckwear proved it a wise decision – scoring me a long, long kiss in the bargain. Lexi was adorable and alluring in her evening wear and when I held out my hand to ask if she was ready she took it without hesitating.
The food and ambience pleased us both, and an outdoor concert in the square made for superb after-dinner entertainment. I bought Lex a flower from a hawker and stuck it in her hair, getting sweetly nuzzled in return, before joining the standing audience.
Towards the end of the show my date whispered to ask if I had the leftover balloons with me and after getting them from my bag she blew them up one by one and batted them into the crowd. I saw them getting passed steadily forward and a pink globe made it all the way to the performers, who were in the middle of a wild, song-ending instrumentation. The bearded singer, having nothing else to do, caught the balloon and tried to pop it between his hands but gave up and tore it apart with his teeth to general cheering. Another pop, half-drowned by the music, told us something similar had happened to one of its brethren. The band played on, and I wondered if things like that happened a lot. Couldn’t be uncommon.
Eventually the final applause died down and the people dispersed, our cue to head hotel-wards. Along the way we made the goodnight call and found our mates somewhat ahead of us in the undressing department. That was unacceptable, of course, and we made our best to reach that stage as soon as the door closed behind us. Donning a dual strap-on I invited Lex to take the lead and she had me lie down to take a ride. Looking up at her steady grinding and wide smile added a lot to an already lovely experience.
“I like the woman-on-top thing”, I grinned.
“Me too”, Lexi moaned. “And on bottom. And any place.”
Her groans turned to shrill cries as she came before climbing off and appropriating my prosthesis. Putting it on she asked me to turn over and being taken from behind was far, far from unpleasant. I was pretty much shrieking by the end and as Lex gently withdrew and lay down next to me I felt we’d scored an almost perfect day. She stroked my hair aside and kissed my cheek.
“I loved that you let me choose.”
“Ladies’ night”, I said. “Wanna give you anything you want. Or need.”
“Oh, I’ve got that all right”, she chuckled. “But it’s funny - all my boyfriends wanted to fuck my ass. What’s up with that?”
I grabbed her firm, generous buttocks. “It’s an amazing ass.”
“Yeah, but they get the same view and grip with doggy.”
“Possession?” I shrugged. “Dominance? A tighter squeeze?”
“Must be something more”, Lexi mused. “When we were camming one guy wanted Kimmy to stick a strapon there. We didn’t do hardcore but I was ok with her putting it in the crack on top of my panties. Set him off enough to pay her to blow up two black balloons and pretend.”
“Did she do it?”
“’Course. Put them on a chair and humped away. Even faked coming between ’em.”
That sounded like a fun bedroom game - inflating a big butt for your boyfriend to fuck. I would so have done that. And loved every second watching it.
“I’d pay to see her do a balloon ass.”
“Mm-hm. Hope he had a nice jerk”, Lex said. “Wonder what he’d think if he knew she’s done it for real.”
“He’d probably make a mess of his keyboard.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me. Anyway, I sometimes let them. Even if they never offered me to peg.”
I gave her a smooch. “Don’t feel bad. Never got that either.”
“All of yours wanted it too?”
“Not all. But after the first time I never minded as long as they stuck to the rules - hand around front, no hard thrusts, lots of shoulder kisses.”
Lex sighed. “Wish I’d made a list like that.”
I added a personal opinion I knew Kriss would back up any day. “But it’s better face to face. Soo intimate. Kind of an I’m-all-yours thing.”
“Ooh yeah”, Lexi agreed. “I like that. But my guys only gave it from behind.”
“I’ll never ask it of you. But maybe from you”, I admitted. “Love being that close.”
“So…” she smiled. “Wanna get close?”
We ended up getting very close to each other. And I didn’t have to blow up any latex substitutes.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 39

I awoke still spooning Lexi and roused her with kisses and caresses. Aroused her even, but that was sorta on purpose. I absolutely love a quickie first thing in the morning.
With the essentials taken care of we headed out - the third day would be the one we'd actually planned ahead for, and I'll do my best to just summarize.
We were set to visit Grand Canyon and I can't say I wasn't looking forward to it, actually feeling a little dizzy ahead of time. Me and Lex compared our feelings of anticipation during the drive and she was at least as apprehensive as me. Don't know quite what I'd pictured but the forested approach was such a contrast to the images in my head I begun to doubt we were going the right way. The signs at the park entrance were clear, though, and as we arrived early there was no wait to speak of and finding somewhere to park wasn’t hard either.
Then it was just a matter of strolling over to the nearest lookout point, which we kept delaying by stopping at every amenity we passed. But eventually we found ourselves at the rim, gaping at the vast expanse flanking the Colorado River far below.
I can't describe the awe I felt along with various other overwhelming emotions. Words fail me. I can only say tears were welling up from sheer wonderment and I couldn't speak for a long time, squeezing Lexi's hand as hard as I could and feeling mine squeezed in return. We hugged each other close and gradually the incredible panorama became just a breathtaking view which was a joy to watch. I dunno if I believe in God, but there was a godliness about the scope and beauty - and that I can get behind any day.
Aw crap, so much for summarizing. But if you go there you'll understand why I had to prattle.

Lexi was touched too, and we spent who knows how long pointing and speaking about what we saw. Proving she might have been a bit overinfluenced by our usual choice of props Lex remarked it would look hella cool releasing, say, a thousand balloons over the chasm.
"Littering aside it would be a sight", I agreed. "Crystals, I think."
"Or pastels."
Both would be impressive and make for a neat music video visual, but cleanup would be pretty much impossible so it would have to stay in our imaginations. And in a spot like that you'd probably be caught by the guards before inflating even a dozen, no matter by pump or by mouth. In a more secluded place a single transparent balloon might stand in for a giant soap bubble. We'd actually brought a tube of that but decided to save it for later - watching the surroundings was enough for the moment.
And yet there was so much more to see. We took in as much of the touristy stuff as we could, and if Kim was getting a spree on Rodeo Drive I took Lex on the same at Hopi House, buying her all the authentic pottery and rugs she wanted for our home along with a necklace just for herself, which she wore straight away.
After a somewhat overpriced lunch and more strolling around the various attractions we decided to take the car down the Desert View Drive, trusting the parking lots would be less crowded once we returned. The vistas along the way were at least as wonderful, but nothing could beat that first impression. We saw some deer and what I think might have been an elk, but no wild horses, much to my companion’s chagrin.
"Would have been cool."
"Not sure there are any in these parts. The signs say anything about it?"
Lexi wasn't sure but contended herself with frequent stops to take out the horn, making the chances of approaching wildlife zero. But she didn't seem to mind, sensually blowing her trumpet and probably making passers-by wonder whatever was up. As much as I loved watching that I would've liked her blowing up the car bed even more, but the place was too crowded and the day too hot for that. We promised each other to make up for it later.
At another scenic overlook I brought up the phone camera and handed Lex the liquid soap. She dipped the wand almost daintily, raised it to her lips and blew a long stream of bubbles that floated away towards the canyon, giggling at the spheres sparkling in the sunlight. She tried it again, making fewer but bigger bubbles. I kept snapping away as she went on blowing in several styles and directions, a vision of sheer childish delight. I just knew the pics would come out great - with such a lovely subject at least a couple were bound to look as pretty.
It was clear Lexi had mastered the art of careful blowing too. Filling her lungs to the max she made a bubble of such incredible size I could hardly believe it and it was just as well it burst before taking off. It would have been far too heavy to soar.
"Try it, Cherry!"
I was definitely up for that but made a point of putting the camera away first. It was kinda satisfying using long, gentle breaths to transform the shimmering film into transparent orbs and watch them drift off against that backdrop. I had a go at making big ones too but let them go before they could get too large. With half the contents gone I handed the tube back to Lex, but she passed it on to a pair of siblings that had been watching with amazement and evident envy.
"If you want you can have this if you take turns. Share and share alike, you know."
They promised and thanked her, their parents acknowledging the gift with nods and awkward smiles. I broke the ice.
"My first time here. What a sight."
"Sure is", the dad said.
His wife added they went several times each year but had never thought of bringing bubbles. It seemed popular with the kids so I supposed it might become a recurring feature.
We made just a little more small talk with the local couple before heading on. In the car Lex let me in on something she'd never said.
"I love bubbles. Always thought we could have used some in the show."
"Why didn't you suggest it?"
"No cheeks. And a slippery stage might make for more comedy than planned."
"Valid points but I still loved, loved, loved watching you blow'em. Wanna buy you some more and jill off to it."
She gave me a playful smile. "Could ask Kimmy to blow you while I blow a ton of those over you both."
"Sounds like a plan. What about Kriss?"
"I could sit on her face."
That fantasy made me slow down to a halt because thinking more about it might have sent us off the road.
"Deal. And maybe throw a few loons into the mix?" Watching Lex inflate some with that same attitude would be teasing and pleasing as all hell.
"Anything you want."
"I want you so much it hurts now but I suppose it'll have to wait."
A long hug went a bit towards tiding me over, but the only cure was getting back to sightseeing and it would just be a temporary measure. But a very satisfying one, in a different way.

With so much to take in I hardly noticed time passing and it was almost six o' clock when we got back to the main visitor's hub, making it prime time to eat something while waiting for the sun to set. And if the regular view was spectacular, that slow change of light made it even more so. We joined a stargazing group to be shown a good spot and have some company as the skies filled up with ever-brightening tiny dots. I'd never beheld it’s like outside pictures, and when the Milky Way's core came into sight I knew it could hardly get better. I nuzzled Lexi's cheek.
"Seen enough for one day?"
She simply nodded and we broke our embrace to head for the car. Driving back under the open sky few words were said. Holding hands was more than enough.
As we sank onto the bed and made love I felt closer to Lex than ever before, locking gazes and intertwining fingers all the way to slow, intense orgasms that were pure magic. Afterwards we stayed in each other's arms, unable to look away. Things got pretty sappy from there.
Eventually a trace of guilt passed over Lexi's face. "Should we call them?"
I shook my head. "Don't wanna disturb in case they have something like this."
"Prolly a good idea. I haven't missed them all day except on general principle", she admitted.
"Same. We'll bring them next time, get rooms at the rim. Wanna dine and sleep right beside that."
"And fuck", Lex added.
"Most definitely fuck. But I think it'll be more like what we just did."
"Sign me up..." she sighed. "Again?"
I got back on top and placed my hands on her palms to once more share a pleasure beyond belief, one that would hardly improve with scenery.
After all that there was no way I could sleep not holding my Lexi tight. I dug out the inflatable wedge from my suitcase and blew it up as far as it would go before getting the spare pillows from the wardrobe. It was enough to take most of the weight off our arms and the gentle squeaking of air-filled PVC under my chest was sorta soothing. Those sweet noises and even sweeter embrace rocked me to sleep and to dreams about journeys to the stars. No Galactic Heroine for company though, but you can't have everything.

Three nights in Flagstaff were enough and we'd spend a fourth and final one homeward bound. Since I'd heard a lot about Sedona it became our last real stop - or several stops, actually. The huge red sandstone formations made Alex want to play some Morricone songs and improvisations of her own in that style. Must admit they fit the landscape.
There was a lot to admire and maybe a hiking trip would be in order at some point. Camping's not really my thing but I could probably stand a night or two in a tent, especially if it involved taking turns blowing up a really nice airbed to share. It was a bit of a shame the one we'd brought hadn't been put to use.
Lex was all agape at what we saw, frequently grabbing my hand for attention and pointing out things that impressed her in particular. I imagined it was a bit like bringing a kid to the zoo, only a tiny bit more dignified. Seeing her so happy made me decide we just had to return as a whole family and take our time exploring.
For now a visit to the Arts & Crafts village resulted in a couple more purchases and a really great cup of chai while other exhibits were interesting in a more passing fashion. We decided it had been sort of a scouting excursion and selected an alternate route back to Vegas for more lazy sightseeing.
When we passed a roadside motel with a garage for every room Lex said it would be a perfect place to stay and I didn't question it. We could check in and find something to eat later - I wasn't really hungry, though I did hog the shower right away.
Lexi went into the bathroom right after me and stayed a long time, giving me a chance to change into something suitable for a casual meal. When she reappeared I realized she was about as far from casual as possible.
Her hair was again brushed to perfection, but gone were the girly dress, hoop earrings and everyday makeup. In their place she'd put on an absolutely stunning paint job, dangling diamonds and an immaculate tuxedo with a black skirt in lieu of trousers. I'd no idea she'd even packed one and the sight struck me dumb. She must have spent a while getting the hand-tied bow to look as flawless as the rest of her, but I'd say it was worth the wait.
"Dressed for dinner?" I managed.
"Not dinner. You." She pulled me to my feet and kissed me, leaning in for a whisper. "No fair only me getting what I like."
"Love you, Lex... though I'm afraid you're a bit overdressed for the local diners."
"We're not going out. Come on."
I was pulled along to where we'd parked and once the garage door was locked behind us she took the inflatable seat from the trunk.
"Been longing for this", she said and began to blow it up with massive, powerful breaths that proved just how eager she was.
The contrasts between the surroundings and the black-suited lady were incredible and made doubly so by her actions. Frantically inflating an airbed in that kind of formal wear just isn't done - except by my gorgeous Lex who looked so cool and sexy puffing away I knew I had to have her as soon as I ever could. She nodded towards the trunk and I peered inside to find the strap-on she must have planted in advance. I ditched my trousers on the floor and put on the double ended dual-action shaft, a pinnacle of sex toy technology, and watched as Lexi plugged and installed the overinflated mattress. She crawled onto it and hitched up her skirt to show she was going commando and all ready for action.
"Fuck me", she purred. "Fuck me 'til it pops, Cherry."
She didn't have to ask twice and within moments I was thrusting away with wild abandon, the bouncy surface adding extra mileage to my moves. The smell of almost-new and freshly inflated plastic tickled my nostrils while mingling with Lexi's sensual scent and the noises coming from the blow-up bed were almost alarming in their intensity. I didn't care how absurd the scene might appear - I was horny beyond all reason and needed a release that wasn't long in the coming. It had been a while since I'd screwed someone this hard, maybe too long, and it didn't take much to send me into violent spasms. Lexi soon followed my example, but instead of relaxing began to thrust back with even more force.
"That all you got?" she panted. "I can take a harder pounding than this thing."
I know a challenge when I hear one and set about doing my best to finish them both - and myself in the bargain. The vinyl was creaking but I barely heard it over our gasps and groans while Lexi's brilliant grin, as white as her wingtip shirt, spurred me on as her hips pushed me higher and higher until I was more jumping than bouncing on top of her. My rhythmic breaths had turned to grunts with the efforts and it was a struggle to not come again and collapse onto my lover. Gritting my teeth I forced myself to go even harder while Lex went "Yes! Yes! YES!" in time with the thrusts until we fell down with a sudden, explosive boom. A seam had split without warning and the jolt made me scream in slight pain and incredible pleasure as I rode out the orgasm it brought. Lex was simply throwing her head back and forth while shaking and shuddering all over, finally coming to a rest below me.
After making sure no one was hurt Alex lifted the edge of the thoroughly popped and deflated mattress.
"Two down", she stated.
"Once you get your license you have to go parking with Kimmy. She'll love this."
"That's the plan. Bet she'll blow it up even faster than me."
It was a real possibility. When Kim wants it, she wants it.
I pulled on my pants while Lex put her outfit back in order, tugging and straightening wherever needed. I had a healthy dose of that eye candy - even in those clothes she was one hundred percent a woman. An incredibly beautiful one.
"God, I wish there was a ballroom around so I could show you off."
"Will be times and places for that. Want me to stay like this, or do something else before I change?"
I pretended to think. "Ten minutes of kissing sounds about right."
A little more than that later we swapped our clothes for trousers and tees, set out for some burgers at a franchiseless joint (those always taste better) and disposed of the car bed in a convenient dumpster. Yes, I know that ain't kosher but it felt so fun and forbidden we did it anyway. Then we went back to the hotel room and while I was reading to Lex she blew up the wedge, leaving no doubts about her desired sleeping arrangements. The room was a little light on pillows, so she took out the big rubber one we'd brought for emergencies and inflated it as well, filling it to the limit while looking straight into my eyes. It was a wordless way of telling me to put away the literature and I found a good place to stop.
What we did next might surprise you - we just cuddled up nice and close to talk about our trip, what we had done and seen and how fun it had been. It was a cozy way to finish the vacation and just as I felt about ready to kiss goodnight I realized our hips had begun another bout of lovemaking without telling us.
We let them finish while simply holding each other. Why let a good thing go to waste?

The drive home was uneventful and we found our mates had beaten us there by cheating and taking an early flight. I would like to say greeting them was tender and dignified, but I'm afraid it involved more whimpering and whining than I'd care to admit and not many actual words were said until we'd had them on the inflatable bed they'd had the foresight to bring close to the front door. It held up much better than the one from the night before, even with some switching around - thought we were much gentler this time.
Sated for the moment we had coffee and donuts while telling each other all about our trips and showing off photos. Kim had actually done an episode about her visit to Venice Beach, just speaking about her impressions and mentioning some touristy trivia. Fine bonus material, but the sound wasn't good enough for a proper show. Although the shot of her buying and inflating a souvenir swim ring would probably be of some interest.
Kriss had also filmed her blowing balloons to pop in various public places - apparently leftovers from the bouquet experiment - but posting them would definitely push the site into clear fetish territory. The vids showed she'd already been watched a fair bit on location anyway.
Then Lexi brought out her decorative haul, which was much admired and cued Kim to go put on hers. The sight nearly bowled me over. It was a light blue dress, bordering on a gown, with patterns and details in white gold. It would have been garish in deeper colors but as it was it was absolutely stunning, a wonderful match for her eyes and hair with just the right amount of cleavage. Lex was on her feet in an instant to check how it felt to the touch as well. As second in line, I can say "very nice".
"Don't mention price tags", I told Kriss. "Worth it no matter how much."
"I basically had to threaten with no sex to make her accept it", my wife grinned.
I turned to Kim. "You're wearing that 'On the Air' and that's final."
"Oh, for sure. When I find a good occasion and something nice to blow up."

I spent the whole evening with Kriss, naturally - mostly in bed. She said she was happy Kim had taken her ultimatum.
"Would have been a shame to go without. Gods, I love that girl."
I had her describe their escapades in detail so I could replicate them and prove myself better. Judging from the exhausted, inane grin I succeeded.
Worn out but satisfied I posed a final question. "Anything else?"
"No, then we just blew each other goodnight."
I covered Kriss' lips with my own and filled her lungs with my breath. Should go without saying me and Lex had ended each night like that too. As the favor was returned I could only think how nice it was to be back, no matter how great the journey had been. Home is where my Kriss is.

The next day I caught up with Kim and by that I of course mean fucked her brains out. Afterwards I squeezed her tight and buried my face against her neck.
"God, how can anyone smell so good?"
Kim tried and failed to sound modest. "Another gift from your wife. She helped picking it out."
I had another sniff and hoped Kriss had bought some perfume for herself too. If it was only half as nice I'd still be swooning. Then I suddenly remembered to ask something I was dying to know.
"Remember the guy who asked you to fuck a balloon butt?"
She laughed. "Yeah! That was kinda fun."
"Care to show me?"
"Love to."
She fished around in the nightstand until she'd found two eleven-inchers in the same color. They weren't black, but pink would do nicely. She picked up the strap-on I'd just taken off and donned the harness before stretching the first balloon. Skillfully inflating it into a nice buttock shape Kim tied it off and gave the other a similar treatment. She placed them next to each other on the bed and put the rubber member on top, sliding it back and forth against the makeshift crack.
“You can do it like this”, she told a non-existent audience, “but then you have to hold them in place with your hands.”
She pulled the loons apart enough for the shaft to drop between them before closing the gap again. Now the thrusts grew harder and deeper and I found it both instructional and exciting.
“I prefer this way myself.”
Kimmy knelt on the bed, spreading her legs to keep the inflated loons in position with her thighs. She reached for the lube and poured a generous measure over her toys, making them glisten with moisture. The fake cock went where it should with a minimum of prodding.
“Make sure it’s water-based”, Kim reminded her pretend viewers and began to grind while clasping her hands behind her neck. It looked so nice I wondered how it would feel with the right equipment. As an act it was a damned good one anyway and the blonde went through all the motions of a thorough hump. Eventually she made a neat impersonation of a guy stiffening up and pulling out to shoot a load all over the blown-up buttcheeks. All that was missing was actual jizz.
Kim finished her spiel. “And when you’re done it’s easy to get rid of the evidence!”
Two nail pops underscored her words and she picked up and disposed of the pieces. I grinned in approval.
“Bra-vo. Not the worst homemade sex toy I’ve seen.”
She asked if I’d seen many and I admitted I’d just watched some tutorials for a laugh or two, mentioning inflatable ones seemed to be a bit of a rarity.
“Though I once saw a clip of someone making a pussy from a latex glove."
My lover leered. "Think you can dig it up? Sounds like a job for Ms. Kimber."
"Ms. Kimber has another lesson to shoot", I reminded her.
There was a knock on the door and Kriss peeked inside.
"If you're all done there's a package for you."
I sighed. The timing wasn’t exactly uncanny, and I was willing to bet the delivery hadn’t been a surprise either.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 40

The medium-sized parcel would have been unassuming if it hadn't been for all the labels. Apparently it was an overseas import, and even if it ostensibly was meant for the show we all gathered round for a look. Kim got to open it, of course.
While she slit the tape around the edges Kriss admitted to having arranged for delivery on demand, probably a wise precaution. Especially considering the contents. From the flaccid, flesh-colored material it pretty much had to be some kind of blow-up doll, and as Kim shook the floppy latex out those suspicious were proven true. Though I had never seen anything like it before. For one thing, it looked much thicker than you'd expect.
While she unfolded the whole thing I snagged the enclosed paperwork - a single page with user instructions in broken English. They were all but useless as they only covered how to inflate it and some notes on basic care. The interesting part was that the Russian-made doll was labeled as a 'cuddle companion', which accounted for the lack of openings. The face wasn't much to write home about and neither was the hair, which at least appeared more lush than the spare tufts seen on most cheap versions.
You can probably imagine our commentary. We talked about everything from the packaging to the material, the general size and shape - but mostly the valve, which was located in the middle of the doll's back. It was the ingenious design that stood out - at first it just looked like a plastic circle with a removable flat stopper in the middle, but if you put your finger into the opening and twisted the tube a half-turn it popped out about an inch.
"That's gotta be just for mouth blowing", Lexi said. "Makes it harder putting a nozzle in."
I wasn't sure about that but it would be harder to cap, at least. The self-closing inner tab seemed to work either way.
With everything properly inspected there was nothing left to do but try blowing it up. Kim's stupid grin couldn't have gotten much wider if she'd tried and it was clear it had taken her some self-control to not start earlier. With an expectant inhale she wrapped her lips around the extension and set to work.
Have you ever seen someone inflate a garbage bag? At first this looked somewhat like that - the passing breath making the material rustle a bit with no other apparent effect. But soon Kim had blown in enough air to make the thing start to shape up. A latex doll was a novelty in itself for me - the roundness even more so. I wouldn't call it fat, but it was definitely on the chubby side, which became more and more apparent as it kept swelling out. The general pose seemed odd until you remembered the name - of course a 'cuddle companion' would have arms bent at the elbows to nestle yourself between. Why the legs were slightly spread and angled in a half-seated position - if that much - took me a couple moments to figure out but naturally you'd want something that'd be easy to rub against. Can't have a good snuggle without some leg work.
So although the doll wasn't an explicit sex toy, it was definitely made for pleasure. While lacking genitals it had prominent nipples of thicker rubber, which were touched, pinched and pulled even before Kim had finished blowing. The face was crudely molded in the same fashion and wouldn't win any beauty contests, but it was far more attractive than any regular sex doll prints. Which, granted, isn't too difficult. Perfectly serviceable features anyway, and the brown locks did their job as well.
By now the latex lady was filled up pretty much all the way and Kim took a break to study her handiwork. She seemed both amused and impressed.
"Wow", she laughed. "She's so big and soft!"
"Hard to blow?" Kriss asked.
"Nah, super easy! Have a try", Kim suggested and held the valve out.
Kriss leaned forward and sent a powerful puff into the doll, punctuated by a surprisingly gentle click from the closing tab. I'd hardly noticed that while Kim was doing her thing.
"Definitely", my wife said. "Put in some more - she can take it."
Well, the instructions had said it could safely support 150 kilograms, which I guessed was about 300 pounds, so a bit of pressure wouldn't hurt. Though it kinda proved it might not have been meant for the American market. In any case the doll actually began to expand from Kim's efforts. She paused to speak.
"Cool! It's like blowing up a big balloon lady!"
"I wanna try", Lexi said.
"You'll get your turn", the blonde said and greedily went back to work. She kept feeling and squeezing the tightening form and once satisfied screwed the valve back in and put on the cap.
I have to give the makers this - they'd given the shape some thought. While not on a fertility idol level, the doll was absolutely plus-sized. The boobs weren't oversized but still large since they stuck to the proportions, and the hind quarters could best be described as 'generous'. The appeal was evident if it didn't conform to the mainstream ideals. Kimmy gave her new companion a big hug and sighed contentedly.
"Think she'll be good for a cuddle?" Kriss asked.
"Mm-hm. That's what you bought her for?"
"No, I thought you could use a silent partner on the show." She caught my glare and went on. "All right, I was real curious what those were like. Had to find out."
Kim handed the doll to her. "Go ahead."
While Kriss embraced the rubber chubby, I followed up with words.
"Couldn't let go of the inflatable host idea, huh?"
"Nopes", she confessed. "Think how fun it would be with one that actually looks inflated!"
That was one thing the effigy would excel at. No one could ever think it hadn't been blown up.
"And the frustration of bouncing lines at it and have them ignored!" Kriss went on.
I had to admit there was comedy potential, but wondered what Kim would think about it. Her chuckle was answer enough. Something to keep in mind at least.
The thick torso was thrust at me. "What do you think, Chel?"
I gave the doll a good squeeze and it sure felt nice to hold. How it would be lying down was hard to gauge, though.
"I want my turn now", Lex said, and to the surprise of no one began with letting the air out. The one downside of the valve was that you had to keep the tab depressed during deflation, but at least it went swiftly. Then she immediately started to reinflate it.
The speed with which Lexi blew the doll back up was nothing short of amazing and she made it a bit fatter and less squishy this time. Still good, if not better. Now you could really feel how sturdy the latex was, and even if it wasn't at inner tube levels it would take a lot to break it.
When it was passed to Kriss she nonchalantly popped the plug open again.
"I think we should all blow her up, on general principle. Make her feel welcome."
I didn't say anything but just watched my wife turn the material flaccid and limp, then back to taut and swollen. I was handed the doll to deflate and inflate and it actually filled me with quite a bit of anticipation. I couldn't wait for the part where it could actually be blown bigger and enjoyed it a lot when it came. Kim had been right - it was like blowing up an actual balloon girl. Then Kriss said we had to try out the cuddle bit for real and we went to the bedroom for a trial run. It wasn't bad at all, even if one arm got flattened out by my weight. The way the pressure shifted with every squeeze was unexpectedly nice, and pressing on the buttocks made the chest expand in a uncommonly pleasing way. The valve placement was about perfect as it was between where you'd usually put your arms, but that was the case with most every doll I'd encountered. Not that I'd seen many models up close, but I figured it an universal thing.
Snuggling with the doll turned out to be what Kim would call foreplay by proxy, as it soon evolved into a four-way quickie. Yes, that can be done...and is usually an even faster affair than with just two.
At any rate, we were pretty satisfied with the purchase and I told Kim she'd better shake a leg if we were to have time for what we'd actually planned for the day.

As I said before, I'd cheated with the script and borrowed heavily from 'A Brief History of Brass', a pamphlet the Angels had been instrumental in producing. Since Kriss didn't own a full set of the horns depicted in it, Ms. Kimber would have to just describe a few of the rest. Kimmy dressed up for the part in the about mandatory pencil skirt, white blouse with a big brooch at the collar and on top of that a corset just shy of the burlesque look, something you actually could imagine the teacher wearing on a particularly daring day.
I'm gonna cheat a bit more and just refer you to that text for the contents. I'd gotten Howard's permission to use it for the show (he's the author and also the curator I mentioned having commissioned a bazooka for the brass museum) and he was thrilled at giving it wider exposure. That way I could superimpose the relevant photos on the video. Howie also mentioned his wife was getting pretty proficient with the trombone by now, loved playing it for him and had even rented a sousaphone for their anniversary. He added it was a good thing the kids had flown the nest. I was happy to hear that, since I'd been the one advising him to tell the missus about his personal interest in the subject.
So I filmed Kim demonstrating the didgeridoo and the modern versions of the trumpet, trombone, french horn and tuba while telling the viewers about their history. She just blew a few bars or scales on each, but for the subscribers she played a ditty by Kriss on the 'bone just to prove she could handle it. Probably the one she has the least skill with, but enough to fake a hint of talent.
That took care of her return to the show, but future episodes would require some planning. Especially if they were to include her new co-host. There had to be some creative writing to make it work.

But before that we had to do something about the very unconvincing face, and I found myself singled out by two sets of pleading eyes.
"All right, guess it's only fair I take my turn."
While Kriss had sculpted my likeness from memory and pictures, she'd made casts of Kim's and Lexi's faces to save time and effort when customizing their dolls. That's how they actually look like them. Now I was subjected to having my features covered by saran wrap and slathered with plaster. It was tricky maintaining a slight, neutral smile while breathing through my nose, especially when the mask began to harden. It became much hotter than I'd bargained for.
Eventually Kriss lifted it off and rewarded my patience with such nice kisses I forgot all about the discomfort. I was certain she'd done the same for her other victims.
When the time came for the next step she dusted the plaster with corn flour and pressed a large but thin sheet of polymer clay into it, adding more to fill out the nose and lips and generally smoothen the inner surface. She carefully pulled the result out and put it on the doll. The fit wasn't great but she stretched out the sides, skewing my likeness in the process.
"Don't worry, Chel, I just needed a basis. If we wanted a dead ringer we'd blow you up instead."
Jokes aside, the basic shape might do when finished. Kriss widened the cheeks and mouth a bit to match the body type and then baked the clay, fixating the features. I left her to her own devices while she added fresh material for touchups and changes and to closing the eye sockets. I couldn't help wondering how it would look once in place and whether it could be attached without ruining the head. Sure, liquid latex would be perfect for that, but the surface wasn't as tough as PVC.
We'll skip most of that process and instead have a look at what the viewers thought about the guest stars. Kim hadn't been overly missed, that's for sure, though someone felt she too should blow up a big balloon inside her clothes. Or get pregnant, which made us both laugh. She blew up a twelve-incher right away and put it under her tee, asking if the look fit her.
"Not really." I took a pin from my desk and burst her belly.
"You're right. Not my thing."
Nita 'popping' on camera got more comments than her actual talk, though we got a few other media examples. And a mention of a rather nasty diving accident which I was sure she'd left out on purpose. The demise of the clown was unanimously praised, which I hope had more to do with her inflation skills than the victim's occupation.
Riko, however, received almost worship-like reactions for her turn as the space empress, with people wanting to be conquered by her or even explicitly trampled. Well, those were nice boots. And of course requests for her going ahead and blow up Jupiter, which 'has it coming'. I'll refrain from punning on that. Tessa revealed she already had two bookings for walks referring 'On the Air', so that advertisement paid off. Dunno if Jo's book sales will be affected, but at least one viewer had read and enjoyed her previous effort. Or their kid had, at least. Sam naturally took some flak for downplaying noses in caricatures, but hoo boy did they like her popping scene and some guy let her know that you can moan and still love something. News, I'm sure.
Speaking of Sam, she'd finished my commission and it was glorious - just the type of cover I'd envisioned, with the heroines crouching behind some rubble in a futuristic (by thirties' standards) street, being menaced by an alien soldier. I especially liked Nixy clinging to Kimber's shoulder...and the fact that she really did look like a green Alexis with purple hair. I added it to the actual story and put it in the member's section - with proper credits of course. Couldn't wait to hear what people thought of it.

What they would think of the doll was another matter though. While Kriss had achieved a passable face only slightly resembling me, it wasn't exactly believable - not even reaching uncanny valley. On the plus side, it stayed glued in place though the original features had probably been permanently flattened in the process. But since our makeup skills failed we once again had to send for Lou. I swear we must have worn that woman down since she didn't seem in the least surprised at the assignment.
The stylist took one look at the plastic mask topping the neatly folded rubber, then burst out laughing.
"This might be the oddest job I've ever had."
I nodded agreement. "Think you can do something about it?"
"Worked on mannequins, so sure. But it doesn't look right like that. Flattened and all."
"Thought it would save space", Kriss admitted and I shot her a told-you-so glance. "I'll fix her for you."
A curious expression passed over Lou's face. "Mind if I do it myself? Sometimes wondered how it feels to blow up a doll."
"Sure", my wife said and demonstrated the valve.
With almost girlish anticipation Louise lifted it to her mouth and blew in a careful breath. I don't know if she'd expected results at once and she seemed disappointed at the apparent futility of the next several puffs. But then the growth became visible and she lit up, blowing harder and with more determination until the full-bodied figure was filled to capacity. For some reason it put me in mind of a nurse inflating her patient for treatment. I'd always found that idea both appealing and funny, even before the skit with Kim and Mandy in our very first production. Probably why I wrote it in the first place.
Lou was grinning at the curvy shape she'd just blown up. "Must say it's not what I expected! Thought it'd be more...slender."
Kriss explained the reasoning behind the choice and was actually commended on it.
"The kind of doll I'd pictured would have looked, I don't know, tawdry. But this might be a funny sight. I'll see what I can do."
I tied the rubber lady to a chair with some string - might as well check right away how she'd stay seated on camera. Well enough, as it turned out, and we could always use a belt or something to secure her.
Mrs. Hewitt unpacked her supplies and I trusted her to have chosen suitable stuff. We'd discover right away if something was oil-based and that would be a funny sight, at least to anyone not invested in the project. As the professional applied some kind of foundation she asked if we had planned on using the original hair. We hadn't, and Lex was sent to fetch a couple of wigs she'd be willing to lend. The one Kim had worn as Wonder Woman was an alternative but got rejected in favor of a slightly curlier one in deep brown. Lexi had used it twice before deciding it wasn't her color, so it wouldn't be missed if something went wrong.
"Perfect", Lou said. "Helps to know what to match."
Kriss got an outlet for her destructive impulses by cutting off the factory-supplied tresses, leaving just enough to attach the weave. It would have been patronizing telling her to be careful with the scissors so I didn't, and besides, a tiny part of me actually hoped she would puncture the doll. I don't know why, maybe I just wanted to see how she'd react. I shook those thoughts away and swept up the fallen strands while Lou secured the new 'do. Then she went on to earn her pay while we made small talk - none of us wanted to leave the room because it was far too interesting and educational to see what she did. Kim took the opportunity to ask if her husband had liked his birthday surprise.
"He was impressed", our neighbor said. "Very impressed."
"By the balloon or your skills?"
"Maybe a bit of both." Her smile grew mysterious. "Might just be something to what you're doing."
"Or maybe to what you were doing", Kriss suggested.
Lou nodded. "Maybe a bit of both."
You don't have to have a special interest to be...inspired by your mate doing something - it's the how, not the what. I once got so hot watching Kriss hanging the Christmas lights I pulled her down and ravished her on the spot. It was something about the way she moved and the absolute confidence of her actions. So if Harry had been turned on by his wife blowing up a huge penis balloon for him it was understandable. More than understandable, but not enough to make him an actual looner. I hoped they'd both gotten some fun out of it.
The paint job was getting along nicely and what we ended up with was an evident doll face - in no way realistic but still having definite character. Kriss started to laugh.
"Fantastic! Better than I'd hoped."
Lex draped a robe over the effigy to see what it would look like clothed and I had to admit it might work. The smile was just ingratiating enough to mimic a TV host waiting their turn to speak while still looking silly, and the dark eyes were mannequin-like with white highlights on the irises to emphasize being fake. Even the edges of the mask had been smoothed over as to be damned near invisible. Lou asked if she should add anything more but the only thing missing was ears and the wig would cover those parts anyway.
"Then there's only the finish left, literally."
To my horror, she took out a spray can. While I understood the need for fixating the makeup I also knew it had to go on the actual 'skin' to cover the transition, and the chemical reaction might be explosive. She said it was water based - even called latex varnish - but I still felt this could become an anticlimax to end all others. Lexi found an excuse to leave the room and I didn't blame her. Not like I wanted to watch.
The can went psssshhhh and I braced myself for the doll to go bang - but it didn't. Incredible.
We were told to wait for it to dry properly before touching it, but it should be safe to handle the features after that. Even apply some light makeup on top if we wanted to change the look a bit.
Kriss squared with Mrs. Hewitt and she went along her merry way saying she'd be looking forward to seeing her patient on the screen. As she'd survived the operation it was time for another crucial part.
"So what should we call her?"
Kim didn't hesitate to answer my question.
"Barbara!"
"Interesting. Any particular reason?"
"Yeah, gramps is nuts about novelty songs, and he used some to help me learn some Swedish. Thought I'd find them funny, I guess, but I never understood enough for that. Except the one about the boy trying to open a coconut with dynamite and blowing up the house."
I know a good ramble when I hear one and tried guessing the point. "Was a Barbie doll blown up along with it?"
"Not that I know of! But I found one he sort of hemmed and hawed about explaining. Poor gramps. I was eleven or so."
"Kimmy, could we please get to the point before I'm completely lost?"
She exhaled. "It's about a blowup doll salesman advertising his product - 'wonderful, inflatable Barbara'. It rhymes in Swedish. And Barbie is a great doll name, right?"
"I need to hear that!" Kriss exclaimed. "Don't care if I don't understand."
So we found it online and had a listen. If nothing else it was a fine example of a novelty song - catchy without any real artistic merit, except maybe in the punning. Which wasn't clear even with a translation. Kim said the singer used a funny foreign accent as well, probably the reason the grammar made no sense. If you have to go ethnic to make the words fit, maybe do a rewrite.

Anyway, Barbara's proven suitable for a TV host, though Kim would maybe have to mention the song in the inevitable introduction. If Barbie held up that long. Kim's first comment after she was well and truly ready for action was kind of ominous.
"I wanna hump her."
I tried reason. "Sex with a co-worker is usually a bad idea."
She shot that down with two counterarguments. 1. They weren't colleagues just yet and 2. Me and her technically were. And Lexi confessed she wouldn't mind either, just to see how it felt.
Do I even have to spell out Kriss' opinion? It was three against one, and my only reservation was that a whole lot of work would go to waste if we managed to burst her.
Kriss licked my ear. "I'll blow you while you watch."
I'd already lost, but I'd be damned if I admitted out loud that I'd really, really want to see them have their ways with the new toy. They knew that, of course.
So we brought Barbie to bed and Kim straddled her leg, but after a few bounces and some thorough grinding she sat up and turned the doll over to blow in more air. Lou had after all erred on the side of caution. Now fully inflated the rubber lady appeared to offer a real comfortable ride, judging by the moans and yelps from her partner. Lexi’s touches and encouragement might have helped but it was clear Barbara was the main attraction at the moment. Kim thrusted against her with such utter delight it was no wonder she didn’t last very long. Kimmy, that is. Alex was almost jumping with anticipation and after letting the blonde wind down a minimal amount she eagerly nabbed her spot and went to town on our new playmate.
Kriss kept her promise throughout of course, and when her turn came Kim almost seamlessly took over. Lexi grabbed my boobs from behind and began caressing my rock-hard nipples while whispering sensual advice.
“You’re gonna love it, Chelly. Was sooo good and bouncy…”
I’d noticed. Watching her pump away at the doll from all directions had made me ache for a go, and Kriss just getting started on hers was maddeningly frustrating. Kim’s nimble licks had me gasping for air, but I did my best to hold back and save myself for Barbie. My wife’s yell of pleasure as she came damn near finished me off and her sultry stare as she climbed off didn’t help any.
“Your turn, Chel. In a moment. Just gonna fix her up for you.”
Not breaking eye contact for a moment she popped the valve open, wrapped her lips around it and carelessly and shamelessly began to blow Barbie up even more. I watched the voluptuous body expand into almost dangerous proportions but was far, far too horny to care. In fact, I wanted it as big and tight as possible because I needed to get off and the harder I could grind the better.
Kriss finished inflating Barbara and screwed the tube shut before putting her back on the sheets.
“All yours, baby. Fuck her good.”
That’s just what I’d planned. I got on top, straddled a thigh and began thrusting away like crazy, bouncing up and down on the beautifully blown up curves. Barbie’s body yielded so nicely to mine, bulging out below me before pushing me back up after every dip. Big and soft and firm at once, she felt amazing against my skin and the hard rubber nipples made her seem as turned on as I was. Every time her sides stretched out from my weight I thought she was about to burst and almost hoped she would, because only a huge explosion could release the pressure inside me. But if the balloon babe didn’t pop, I would have to. Voices were cheering me on and I heard a “go, go, go!” without knowing or caring who said it. All that mattered was coming, on inflated or torn latex - either would do, and I suddenly recalled Louise had blown the doll up before painting her to perfection. The memory of her puffing away and preparing Barbie for use swirled through my head and I wondered if she’d guessed we’d make use of her work this way. The thought was titillating, naughty and thrilling enough to send me straight to the nearest equivalent of heaven I’ve found and I rode out a long, mind-blowing orgasm astride our newest prop. She took it like a pro, supporting me all the way to a final, shivering spasm.
I rolled off and was caught on Kriss’ waiting shoulder.
“Guess Barb’s passed the quality control”, she said.
Now back to my senses I spoke what had been lurking at the back of my mind. “You sneaky bitch, you overinflated her just to see if she could take it.”
“There’s no evidence.”
“Of course not. And to pin it on me if she couldn’t.”
“Well…mostly I just wanted you to have a nice ride. Did you?”
“As if you couldn’t tell.” I smooched her right on the mouth. “Yeah, I did.”
Kim gave the doll a big hug. “Sure lived up to the description. Wonderful, inflatable Barbara.”
We all agreed it had been a one-time thing, though. If we were to use her on the show for some time it wouldn’t do risking her health.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 41

Barbara had performed well in the nude, but we could hardly put her 'On the Air' without clothes. And since Kriss tend to overlook some things, we didn't have any in her size. None that would fit without looking too tight anyway. So I had Kim drive the others around the second-hand circuit while I sat down to throw together some form of script. I realized there was time to be saved by having Kim do a 'what I did on my vacation' presentation and splice in the usable footage from her trip. That, along with introducing the doll and trying to talk to her about travel but having to carry the conversation alone would be enough. The subject of the following episode would depend on what kind of outfits they'd found and whether Barbie had popped by then. I still wasn't sure about her durability. After that it would be time for another Superheroine Sunday and my preliminary research reminded me Batgirl was named Barbara too. Weird coincidence.
First things first, though. The field expedition returned with a heap of garments as they'd just brought approximate measurements and not the actual doll. That would have been a sight. And Kriss redeemed herself in the planning department as they'd agreed a way to inflate her fully dressed would be needed. So they'd stopped by some kind of plumbing store to get valves, gaskets and hoses for tinkering together some kind of solution to that. Alternately we could of course cut her clothes open in the back and clamp them together, but that seemed wasteful.
If you wonder why we'd go to such troubles you've probably never tried to dress a fully inflated doll. We did manage to button on a blouse without much trouble though and a pair of grey pants went on even easier. A loose unbuttoned waistcoat was hung over her shoulders and Lex added a necklace as a final touch. I must say Barb looked really spiffy, and most importantly, full of air. Kim absolutely demanded to blow her up on camera for the preparation video, which pretty much went without saying, but doing the rest of the backdrop would just be a parenthesis compared to that. Because she had to return in style, and since Ms. Kimbers episode had been shot in front of the dark backdrop for the blackboard look the usual studio could use some festivity. Kriss solved that too, in a backhanded way, by sulking about not having had a single guest appearance.
"You're an angel, love, but not one of The Angels."
"You made me an honorary one, remember?"
True, but being Crystal Mackenzie should top that any day. Anyway, I suggested that since neither she or Lex had contributed to the vacation eps they could do the regular decoration while Kim just did the doll in a separate video. The setup wrote itself while I spoke - we'd prepare a roomful of almost completely deflated props and I would shake my head at the sad state of affairs before calling in reinforcements to fix it in time for Kimber's return.

The motion was passed and we set about step one right away. The inflatable palm tree was a given considering the vaycay vibes, and would go nicely with some big burgundy balloons - Kriss wouldn't accept less than eighteen inches. And a yellow punchball hanging from the rubber band would pass for a makeshift sun. The plastic banana could be roped back into to service to give them each something in that color. While the vinyls were easy to leave off half full, the balloons had to be blown up all the way and Lexi had a nasty surprise when the sun exploded in her face. She just shook her head though and blew up a replacement, rolling the neck into the bulb to close it after deflation. It proved kinda tricky with a softer balloon, but she managed in the end. In the meantime, Kriss had done the banana and three of the loons, leaving just one for Lex, who didn't complain as we weren't filming. They'd have two each on camera. And I had handled the palm, despite my wife usually being the one blowing up trees. She'd get her chance come Christmas.
The last addition was a chair for Barbie and we just brought back the one Kim had used before upgrading to an inflatable seat. That one had actually started to sag a bit so this would be the absolutely perfect time to remedy that. I let out even more air to make the need for a refill apparent.
After a light and sound check we began shooting. I walked on in the kind of clothes I'd usually worn as a stage manager - blouse and slacks - with my hair up for a semblance of professionalism. Placing my hands on my hips I tsk'd and looked around. Finding no help on the premises I stuck a thumb and finger in my mouth and blew a shrill whistle, which cued Kriss and Lex to hurry in.
"Look at this place. 'On the Air' my foot - more like off the air."
Both agreed with nods and mumbles, looking unsure what they had to do with it.
"So what are you waiting for? Don't just stand there, get blowing!"
Lex climbed an unseen stool to unhook the punchball while Kriss picked up the PVC fruit - or whatever a banana is. I lifted the chair and located the valve just in time to begin the reinflation ahead of the others. I didn't beat them there by much, though, and soon we were all puffing away at our respective props. Poor Lex couldn't blow hers up to the absolute limit like me and Kriss, but to compensate held the balloon in a way that would display her gorgeous lips around the neck to maximum effect while she effortlessly made her cheeks bulge out into taut spheres.
We finished the first objects at about the same time and I delayed my work by testing out the chair for firmness. As I sat down I realized Kim would probably want it a bit softer, but that could be fixed off camera. The others had untied a balloon each and were racing to blow them back up, exchanging challenging stares all the way. Kriss cheated by stopping first with a triumphant "ha ha!" and Lex immediately followed suit to tie hers off. That's the downside of balloon blowing contests - if you don't go all the way it's kinda hard to determine a winner. And even then it's iffy since they might pop prematurely.
I began puffing the palm back up and had nearly gotten the trunk all stiff when a sudden bang interrupted me. Going by my last statement, Kriss had definitely won the second round, but going by her expression it hadn't been the intention. I'd known this might happen so I'd stashed a couple of spares behind the phone on the desk and went over to grab one.
"Careful, we don't have the time for this! She could be back any moment!"
I tossed Kriss the balloon and as I went back to the palm I saw she was going for some kind of speed record. She was blowing it up so fast and so furious even Alex stopped mid-knotting to watch in awe.
Kriss might not have had a feature episode, but she made up for it by putting on one hell of a blow-show. The dark red balloon grew ever bigger from her enormous breaths, swelling out at an amazing rate. There's something about that color that makes loons look more solid and hard to blow up, but she seemed to have no difficulties at all, even if her cheeks puffed out magnificently behind the bulging latex. I managed to keep inflating my prop but couldn't really look away from the spectacle in front of me. Lexi had a hard time putting up what she'd eventually finished tying as she seemed reluctant to turn her back. The force Kriss was applying would become lethal to the loon sooner or later.
She did stop well ahead of that though - as soon as the balloon reached the perfect size and shape for hanging Kriss took it from her lips and tied it off in one swift, smooth move. Then she put it next to the rest and I saw the row of huge rubber spheres would cover pretty much the whole width of the frame. I plugged the valve and stood the tree in front of them.
"Good job", I told my assistants. "I won't keep you any longer - I know that album won't make itself."
Hey, I'm not above shameless plugging. And even if it was early in the process, it couldn't hurt to let people know one was in the works.
They nodded and headed out the way they'd come. I made some final adjustments to the inflatables and left myself. Kim, who'd been working the camera, applauded and went up to hug Kriss.
"You just proved why I can't have you on the show - I'd be out of a job!"
Kriss looked flustered. "I can't do the talking anyway. Not like you."
Would be interesting to find out if Kim could talk for two as well. First we had to film her bringing in Barbara, and she did so wearing an outfit that definitely brought vacationing to mind - a pastel shirt with rolled-up sleeves and tied together in front leaving her midriff bare above a light blue skirt. A wide-brimmed straw hat and sunglasses completed the look and Kimber walked on carrying a not-too-big suitcase. She surveyed they decorations, pinching the palm in passing.
"These have kept air well" she noted and took off her hat and glasses before lifting the luggage onto the desk. She opened it and took out what first appeared to be some rumpled clothes, but then the wig came into sight. Kim grabbed hold of the valve peeking out of the bundle - we'd pulled the blouse up in the back for that - and put it in her mouth without a single acknowledgement to the viewers. Then she began to blow, and I was certain it would give at least a couple of watchers instant boners, letting their imaginations run wild and guessing at her intentions.
Whoosh, whoosh, went her breath as she inflated the fabric into an at first vaguely female shape that gradually turned into a definite one. The clothes filled out into nice and tight fits as more and more air made its way into the latex center. Soon Barbie looked like almost like an actual human although the sight of a pretty woman blowing into a tube at her back kinda ruined that impression. But the presenter blowing up a co-host by mouth was definitely more interesting than just bringing in a live one. Kim made sure to give her enough breath to make the blouse creak at the seams, which made sure there wouldn't be many wrinkles in either the clothes or the doll. She finished blowing up her busty brunette balloon, plugged the valve and placed Barbie on the chair. Some off-camera adjustments would be needed but for the moment everything was pretty much as it should be, so Kimber gathered up her things and left Barb alone in the studio. I shut the camera off.
"Wow", Lex said, "that was something else.
It sure had been. It's not every day you get to see the star of the show do something like that to a castmate. And seeing Barbara in place fully dressed I was struck with a good word to describe her - plump. Bringing in some strong cord I secured her to the seat and two adhesive tabs anchored her palms against the desk. Weak ones, of course - I wanted to be able to remove her without tearing the rubber.
We previewed the recordings and they were perfectly good - a bit more than that, actually, when it came to Kriss' and Kim's performances. The doll inflation would be worth the price of admission in itself, if only for the novelty value - the only problem was watching the actual show before this would ruin the surprise. The solution was of course to upload the preparations a day early, giving the members plenty time to wonder what the doll would be good for.

They'd find out in what we shot next. Kimber asked if people had missed her and admitted she had needed a break since it could be tough carrying a show all by herself.
"But I won't have to do that anymore! Say hello to Barbara - the newest addition to the team!" She prodded the doll. "Say hello, Barb."
The lack of response was explained away with her colleague still being a bit camera shy, but would probably get over it. Kim also added that Ms. Walters didn't have to worry about being parodied, since Barbara was named after a song by Robert Broberg.
(My apologies, by the way, if my first impression was him being a hack. We tried a couple other of his songs and Kriss was absolutely smitten with a catchy, samba-flavored tune that both had a strong brass section and smooth, incessant rhyming. Damn thing got stuck in my head for the day. Also, I found out the doll song had been early and influential enough to make 'Barbara' a common term for any inflatable lady in Sweden. Consider it your trivia for the day!)
Then Kim went on to describe her Californian sojourn, going through particularly interesting points from the stopover in Frisco to the departure from LAX. She ended several observations with a "Right, Barb?" and after a beat pretended like the doll had agreed. It became kinda funny after the third time or so. It was a bit interesting hearing her take on the trip, since I hadn't been told all about it, and the actual footage would add some meat to the meager script.
Overall a pretty unorthodox episode, but the change in format all but guaranteed that anyway. She ended by assuring she was "sure Barbara too is looking forward to seeing you again. Until next time!"

We'd have to wait to check if the audience wanted to see Barbie again, but since Betty had professed to a slight thing for inflatables I sent the Texans a pic of the doll in the nude and one of her at the desk as a private preview, noting the face wasn't the original one. While the instant reply was a few laughing smileys, Mandy also gave me a regular phone call. She sounded really excited about our new acquisition and asked several things about dimensions, material, general feel and valve construction before getting to the actual point.
"Have any of you tried to boink her?"
I admitted we all had and she wanted to know if it was any good, so I gave her an honest review.
"Exactly where did you buy her? Wanna get one for Liz."
Maybe I shouldn't have teased, but old habits die hard. "I thought you liked playing her doll?"
"But that's just it! She's so careful with me these days. I keep telling her I won't break but does she listen?"
"Probably not you she worries about."
"Duh. Not like I'm not getting any - far from it. And she's the best lovemaker in the world but I want her to let loose. Go real wild."
"Yeah, maybe an inflatable friend might help with that. But I'm guessing there's more since you can get a prettier one most anywhere."
"Yeah... I'm gonna look a bit like that soon and I want her to pretend it's me. Wanna see if she's still interested."
How Mandy can be so smart and so clueless at once baffles me. "Girl, she waited ten years for you! Maybe more. I think it's gonna take a bit more to turn her off."
She sighed. "You know I used to be fat."
"And she still was your best friend. And loved you even then from what I've heard. Sorry, I knew I shouldn't have asked. Doesn't matter why you want one, it's a great fuck toy. Bet your woman's gonna love boinking it - especially if you blow it up for her."
"Gonna blow it up so good", she said, and I could hear her smile. "See if I can make her snatch it from my paws like the other things I've huffed and puffed for that."
"Do it just right and you might make her whimper", I suggested.
Mandy laughed. "I know! Holding out on it a li'l bit's great!"
"Sounds like you've got it. I'll text you the address once I've pried it from Kriss."
Which I did. I was kinda bummed I wouldn't see the look on Betty's face once her wife started on the doll, because I was pretty damned sure she'd go through with the purchase.

The next shooting session included two shows at once, as it should, but I'll get to them later. Let's stop with what people thought about Barbara's debut.
The overall vibe was mild amusement, except from the members who'd seen the actual inflation. They. Fucking. Loved. It.
Seriously, I had no idea some balloony body inflation would strike such a chord, and three regular viewers asked Kim outright if she'd blown the doll up herself. A demure "Well, she didn't blow herself up" followed by winking smiley would have to do for an answer since the description of the members area already included 'preparation videos'. Spelling it out would seem crass and judging from the small surge of joiners people took the hint. (Subscribers just got to watch her inflate that swim ring at Venice Beach as proof she’d been there.)
Kriss was downright smug her silly idea had paid off, and doubly so after seeing the comments on her stint. One fan suggested she should blow up a balloon as part of her concerts and I intervened before the glint in my beloved's eye could flash into full idiocy.
"Audiences throwing loons onto the stage I get. And balloon drops for effect. But musicians don't usually blow'em up as part of the act."
She shrugged. "I've seen pics of Cyndi Lauper doing it."
I had, too. "Backstage. Before going on. As a vocal warmup. Last I checked you weren't a singer."
"Still a good breathing exercise."
"Again - backstage. You can do as many as you want out of sight."
She claimed that would defeat the point. "Only reason I regret not being an Angel is not getting to turn the audience on."
I shook my head. "Conveniently forgetting all the ones writing what they wanna do with you, or wishing you'd blow them too. And the fella saying he's about to pass out from blood loss every time he sees you play the tuba. On account of it all going into his cock."
"But I never get to see what it does to them", she complained. "When I'm doing songs I can't watch reactions. Too busy playing."
"It's what you're supposed to be doing - entertain and bedazzle them with your skills. Turning people on should at best be a byproduct."
She completely agreed but knowing that it happened still made her curious. Though what happened in her crowds were probably limited to arousal, if that. The Angels had basically provided foreplay for singles, but I assured Kriss it very seldom went further than that. And if it did, our incomparable doorman had been quick to break things off.
"I guess you're right. And Kim don't get to see what the show does either. But..."
"Yeah?"
"It's just that the best part of sex is when the guy goes stiff all over. When you know he's passed the point of no return and can't keep from coming. That helplessness. So hot."
I gave her a wry grin. "Wanna trade me in for someone who can?"
"You know what I mean. Works when watching porn too. But if I can make that happen by something so fun and easy as blowing up a balloon..."
"You can, that's for sure. But it's the privacy that makes it possible! You have to imagine the rest. Unless, of course, they write to describe it."
"Not the same. Still nice knowing, though."
I kissed her. "Tell you what. Go find your favorite balloon. Put on your favorite things to wear. Then come to bed and blow it up and I'll jill off just for you."
"Deal."

She didn't bring just one - but that was ok, because I didn't just jill off either. Had to remind her there are plenty of nice things you can do while watching someone blow up balloons.
Or to them.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Been on a bit of a holiday myself (and working on another loony project), so this took a while. And by pure coincidence has some tuba playing too - but that part was written before the recent brass story was posted.
Anyway, on to

Episode 42

Since Kriss is the one knowing her way around valves and tubing she was assigned making a special nozzle while Kim and Lex sorted through the second-hand haul, which by their own admission could be hit and miss. This pretty soon led to a conflict of interest, as they couldn't try the garments on the doll while Kriss was tinkering with it.
They could squabble or take turns for all I cared, because I was once again busy looking up fictional characters. I'd decided the next regular show would be a gossipy one and there'd been no shortage of celebrity tidbits over the summer, so that one was easy. Summarizing for Superheroine Sunday was a different matter, though.
I was just musing I at least didn't have to do a writeup on Robin when I heard stealthy steps behind me and a warm, soft kiss was planted on my neck - right on that oh-so-sensitive spot. While I was still shuddering Kriss slid onto my lap and put her arms over my shoulders.
"Hey", she smiled.
I could only squeeze her tight in return. We hadn't quite finished catching up after the trip.
"Let me know if I'm distracting you."
"Sweetest distraction in the world. And I'm getting bored out of my skull anyway."
"I know what would help. Come play with me."
I knew she meant music and didn't mind. Had been a while anyway, so we headed down to her domain with no more than a reasonable amount of make-out stops along the way. Once there I actually went for my trumpet.
"Only instrument I ever owned. And I might be getting rusty."
Kriss gasped. "Can't have that! Quick, blow a scale!"
I did, mostly on autopilot. I hit the notes but don't know if they could be called clean.
"Still got it", my wife said. "Just needs some polish."
With that she picked up the tuba usually reserved for me and sat down. "Oh, by the way, this is yours now. Effective immediately. Mind if I borrow it?"
My very own tuba. What a lucky girl.
"Sure", I said. "I pretty much need some backing."
"'Fly me to the moon'?" she suggested and I nodded. Soon we were working our way through the old standard and it actually flowed along nicely, much to my relief. Then again, I secretly love making music with Kriss much, much more than I'd ever let on because then she'd never stop pestering me for more. Puppy eyes would get involved and her work with Lex would suffer. Strike that - Alex would join in. But it would take a chunk out of my writing time for sure.
We did a few more classics and then Kriss asked to switch with me, which was fine. Especially since her gaze got that special gleam my playing always seems to cause. Two songs were all she could stand.
"Gods, Chel, when I see you play like that I can really relate to cheek lovers. Yours blow up so nice and smooth..." She ran a finger over the left bulge. "...and soft. Wanna kiss them all over..."
She did and I found it high time to put the instrument down. Scanning the room I realized what had felt odd when I came in - the airbed was not ready for use in its corner but a crumpled heap against a wall. Guess there'd been no call for it since our return.
"Time for yours to puff out too if you wanna go on right here and now."
"Aw damn", she sighed. "Least I brought it back."
"So who inflated it upstairs?"
"Both of us, of course."
She knelt down and beckoned me over.
"Like this. Come."
I sat down next to her as she started to blow the mattress back up. After a couple of puffs she held the valve out to me, but so close to her face I had to put mine against it to reach. I exhaled hard and my cheek pushed against hers in a very cozy way.
"Again."
I obeyed and she moved her lips right next to my mouth in a pseudo-kiss, ready to take over. With two or three breaths at a time we blew the bed up, resisting the urge to start smooching for real until it was all done - but then made up for it with a vengeance.
"I love watching you play" Kriss sighed as we rolled back and forth on the flocked, air-filled vinyl. "Makes me warm inside."
I'd been pretty warm myself for a while. Inflating things together like that tends to do it.
"Feel that with Lex too?"
"Not in the same way. Just very, very happy. But you blowing away into that big, shiny cup...mmm. Puts me in the mood every time."
"That's a pretty specific kink, Kissie."
She bit my ear. "Can I help if I have a thing for Cheryl Jaclyn Silvers playing the tuba? Just sue me."
"No. Gonna do something else."
Not bothering to undress I began to fuck her, slowly and thoroughly, while whispering how playing for her made me feel and how turned on I get by turning her on.
"I'll play for you anytime you ask..."
Kriss held on tight as I picked up the pace, moaning and writhing from the onslaught. The mattress didn't protest much and it would take a hell of a lot to break it. Not that I cared if it held up and Kriss' vigorous counters made sure a pop wouldn't be from lack of trying. Her motions were so fierce and needy not much was needed from me but I gave it my best anyway, humping and thrusting until she was all done and then rubbed against her thigh until I came too. It didn't take long at all.
"Going on four years", I smiled, "and I still wanna do you every day."
"Still gonna want that in forty years", Kriss said. "Gods, Chellie, I love you so much...."
Mushiness aside, not much was said for a while. I flopped over on my back and turned the talk to more mundane things.
"So did you solve the valve issue?"
"Oh, that was easy", Kriss said. "Few things a rubber ring the right size can't solve."
She explained her contraption - an L-shaped bend that would let a hose run down Barbie's back and out below any top. There was another self-closing tab in the mouthpiece to compensate for the one permanently depressed by the new nozzle.
"Sounds good to me. What did the girls think?"
"Ask them. They were still fighting over who'd get to go first when I left."

We found them in the studio where they'd brought Barbara - now dressed in a green sweater over a yellow blouse with the open collar sticking out - along with the outfits they'd deemed fitting enough. There was a good half dozen of those.
"Had fun?" I asked.
"Like you wouldn't believe", Lex said. "It's like blowing up the actual clothes."
"The tracksuit was best", Kim added with a grin. "Like helping a collapsed jogger!"
I looked at the two-piece ensemble in shiny pink and cerise polyester and chuckled as I pictured the scene - Kim discovering a fellow runner deflated from exhaustion and crouching down to assist with some of her plentiful puff. The fabric actually looked pretty inflatable and I immediately had an idea how to incorporate it in the show.
"Hope it's a nice and tight fit", I said.
Kriss looked thoughtful. "Depends on how much you inflate her, I guess."
"Tight enough even at regular size", Lexi attested. "We only kept the stuff that looked fine."
"So I guess this is what she'll be wearing in the next instalment?"
Kim nodded. "I'll go yellow and green too. The script ready?"
I sighed. "We'll shoot tomorrow. The superhero stuff too, but that will be a solo act. Hard enough to write without including her."

Hard or not, I was ready soon enough to give Kim some study time and she arrived as promised in a yellow short-sleeve and a loose spring green scarf. The seasonal decorations had been cleaned away in the usual manner and Kimmy pondered what to use in their place.
"Haven't had banners in a while."
"For a good reason", I reminded her. "Hard to find suitable prints."
"A couple plain ones on general principle couldn't hurt."
She rummaged through the assortment we kept at hand and pulled out two long strips of rubber. Since I hadn't planned anything in particular I just turned on the camera and watched as Kim dropped one of them in front of Barbie and told her to get started.
"Cut", I said after realizing I'd just ruined the take by snorting.
To compensate I made a suggestion on how to make the scene work and after a minimum of preparations we tried again with the same opening. Then Kim began to blow up the long, blue balloon she was holding but stopped after a few breaths to admonish her co-host.
"You're not helping."
The doll didn't stir - and the pink balloon in front of her stayed in place as well. In the meantime Kim showed off a great posture, her back absolutely straight and neck tilted slightly back as she inflated the balloon to full size with strong, stately breaths. It was like a master class in how to blow up a long loon in style - too bad Barbie wasn't paying attention. The taut cylinder was deftly knotted and leaned against the wall before the blonde turned her attention back to the desk.
"Guess I have to do everything myself."
She snatched the balloon and began blowing it up but a little more than halfway through it popped, making Kim reel just a little. She studied the remains and addressed the dummy.
"I see, you realized it had a hole. No wonder you didn't want that to happen."
It did have a hole - I'd poked it myself to ensure an explosion.
"Well, guess we'll go bare this time."
Kim picked up the blue banner balloon and dug her nails into it, bursting it with a sharp bang and pocketing the shreds left in her grip. She sat down next to Barbara.
"I'll start off, okay?"
There'd be a fade at that point, but Kimber had hit her stride and began going through the items I'd dug up for the day. After a particularly salacious rumor she turned to Barbie to ask if she thought it was true.
"Yeah, me too", Kim agreed after a beat. I'd realized yes-or-no questions - especially rhetorical ones - worked pretty well for giving the illusion of the presenter failing to notice the lack of answers. That she played it absolutely straight helped too, but she mainly did because she's not that good an actress.

After concluding the broadcast in the usual way I did a little roundabout calling-out.
"I looked through the decoration vids the other day. You've blown up a whole lot of loons for your viewers."
"For the show", she corrected me, pretending it was the sole reason.
"Those long'uns just now didn't make even that."
A corner of Kim's mouth went up. "Busted", she said.
"I think it's safe to say we don't need them every time." There'd been about zero complaints about the studio being bare, and the few exceptions negligible.
"Yeah, but I love doing it. Since it's so...appreciated."
"You are pretty good at it."
"Dating Rob taught me a thing or two", she grinned. She'd been the one Angel who'd had an actual looner before the theater gig.
"Learned nothing from the shows?"
"Most of it", she admitted. "Ah fuck - I love blowing balloons, period. It's fun! If others like it too, so much better."
"I sure do." And that was true. Watching Kim enjoy herself is one of the better things in life, and she so clearly is when doing just that. "Was worried you only did it to please others."
"Well, I might try making it look nice for that. But these days it's...I dunno, less of a thing?"
It was such a relief hearing that I pulled her close and pressed my forehead to hers.
"You know what I like the most about 'these days'? That you don't seem to need sex as much."
Kim blushed. "Have I really been that bad about it?"
"You were always fucking amazing - but yeah, pretty much."
"It's just...I thought I was doing something wrong if people didn't wanna fuck me. So not getting it actually hurt. In here." She tapped her chest.
I kissed her, at some length. "Sweet baby Kimmy, I want you. Not your body, necessarily... even if I love all the things you do with it. Being with you, writing for you, it's all great."
She looked almost bashful which is an adorable if rare look for her. Stroking her hair I went right on. "I wanna go for a walk with you after dinner. Hold hands, talk about whatever. Get back and watch something nice together or I could read to you. Go to bed, talk some more, hug 'til we fall asleep."
Kim smiled. "Sounds great but something's missing."
I grinned back. "You'll get it after the shoot."
"No encore?"
"Not unless there's an emergency."

There were, however, plenty left to do in the studio. For starters, a subscriber vid. I thought it would be fun with a musical duet and placed the tuba in Barbie's lap before arranging her hands in approximate playing positions. As I began filming Kim blew a sax rendition of 'Summertime', shooting admonishing looks at her co-host to make her join in. Naturally nothing came of that, so the blonde finished the shortened piece, lowered the instrument and shrugged at the doll.
"At least you didn't hit any wrong notes."
If nothing else, I was sure Kriss would find it funny and it did fill the quota. For one day. We had another show to film and Kim set off to get ready, which took a little while since it included a drastic change in appearance. In the meantime I carried her inflatable partner out of frame and adjusted the lighting for a single presenter, which still made for quite a wait. I answered some mail and flagged a couple of questionable comments, standard stuff really.
Eventually Kim returned, now in character as Batgirl. Not much to do about her being a blonde instead of a redhead, but I figured no one would complain much after seeing the skintight suit. While eye-catching, the cape, gloves, boots and utility belt became sorta secondary to the figure-hugging material. And the cowl looked pretty damn cool in place, especially since Kim had taken some pains to emphasize her eyes with make-up so they would stand out even surrounded by fabric.
I whistled. "Not bad."
"No, not bad - bat!" she laughed. "Let's get started!"
She'd fetched the balloons we'd bought and stashed alongside the costume and was now ripping open a dozen-pack of bright purple balloons with yellow bat symbols. We'd found them in the bargain section as they were apparently leftovers from that Lego movie, but just the thing for our needs. Kimmy poured the limp latex onto the desk and picked one up while sending me a suggestive glance.
"Help me blow?"
I declined, since I wasn't exactly dressed or painted for the camera - not anywhere near her current look anyway.
"You're Batgirl", I reminded her. "You'll manage."
It was about then we both realized she should have opened the bag on camera, so she stuffed all the loons into one of the pouches on her belt before walking back in and bringing them out once more. She tilted her head at the first one while stretching it, as if gauging the maximum size. Then she inflated it in a kinda methodic way, pausing briefly between breaths to contemplate the shape. Once she was satisfied with the fullness she tied it off, pulling the neck out immensely to compensate for the glove-induced loss of dexterity. Somehow she managed to seal it neatly, but then again there'd been some gloved tying at the theatre. The first attempts hadn't been as smooth - or even succeeded.
Another balloon followed and I noticed how neatly the cowl complemented the curves of her puffed cheeks, the dress-up look both sweet and sexy at once. And the light purple was such a nice color to go with that fair hair - it wouldn't have been the same with red. I very much liked what I saw, and knowing she liked it so much herself added something. Not that there'd been much doubt before, but some things are good to have spelled out.
Kim blew the balloons up one after another and fixed them to the wall with the pads we used at least half of the time, pulled at various bits of her outfit and walked out. I stopped the camera to give her the usual treatment, but the headgear made it kinda difficult to blow in her ears. She blew into mine instead, wrapping her arms around me from behind.
"If there's no sexxorz tonight", she purred, "I'm gonna get while the getting's good."
A hand came up to my face and something rubbery was pressed to my lips.
"Saved it just for you. Help me find out how big they get."
I put my mouth to good use and began filling the latex with my breath. Kim kept the loon firmly in place as I inflated it, her other hand pressing against my tummy.
"Love your muscles. Love feeling them tense up."
I made them even harder with a powerful exhale, the balloon expanding enough to block much of my view.
"Make it burst, Cherry baby. Blow it to pop for me."
Couldn't say no to that husky voice. It took three more breaths and all the force I could muster, but the balloon exploded between the gloved fingers and I relaxed back into her embrace.
"Thanks", Kim whispered. "That did put me in the mood."

It had put me in the mood something fierce, but we had a script to shoot. Kimber plonked herself down at the desk, did the introductory summary – including a disclaimer about her hair color being wrong - and mentioned the theme called for a solo show. Then she went on to the history of the character.
"The first Batgirl appeared around 1960 but since she's irrelevant I won't go into details. She was the niece of 'Batwoman' and both ladies were created as apparent love interests for Batman and the Boy Blunder, I mean Robin. But they were only there to stop critics from accusing the heroes of being homosexual and had very little to do."
Just like most supporting characters, really.
"Soon enough the editor realized it was all a bit silly and had them both written out without much ado, along with Ace the Bat-hound."
Yep, there'd been yet another super-pet. Maybe Bats had decided that was one game Superman wouldn't beat him at. Or the writers thought it a good idea, for some reason - they tried basically everything in the sixties.
"But now that Batman and Robin were swinging singles again the comic was sorely lacking in females and they decided to write in someone who would do actual hero things. The name was recycled but the new Batgirl was Commissioner Jim Gordon's daughter - Barbara Gordon - who worked as a librarian when not fighting crime. She was introduced in 1967 - both in the comic book and on the Batman TV show."
Some general remarks on the heroine's doings in the 1970's followed, the most interesting being about the time she successfully ran for Congress. The political career didn't last though, probably because it couldn't have been much fun to either draw or read. Before long she returned to fighting villains, but more or less retired in the mid-80's. Which didn't exactly mean she faded out of the fictional universe.
"You might remember Supergirl being killed off in 1985? At the same time Batgirl's history was rewritten to make her the commissioner's niece - but adoptive daughter. I have no idea why. Turned out it didn't make much of a difference since she was shot and crippled a couple of years later - and not because she was a threat to villains everywhere but to traumatize her 'dad'."
Kim shook her head. "You don't have to look further than that for proof that comic book making used to be a little boy's club. It's said that when the writer asked permission to use - or misuse - the character like that chief editor replied 'all right, cripple the bitch'. Respectful, huh?"
All right, I'd gotten a bit salty after learning about fridging, but some things can't be stressed enough. And Kimber was all for keeping that tone, so there's that.
"When Batman had his back broken he learned to walk again in no time at all, but poor Babs got stuck in a wheelchair and reduced to help other heroes by gathering information for them. So in essence back to being a librarian full time, even if she was allowed a codename - Oracle."
It wasn't a bad idea for a character as such, but not at the cost of a female icon. Though there were some attempts at backpedaling, as Kim noted next. For one thing, a fully functional Batgirl appeared in the movie 'Batman and Robin', though that film was about as serious as the campy TV version.
"In the late 1990's, another heroine - Huntress - started calling herself 'Batgirl' but Batman made her stop that...since she didn't follow his 'never kill anyone even if they murder millions of innocents' code."
Funny how Batsy got squeamish right at the same time the readers started to appreciate recurring villains. He sure didn't start out like that.
"Barbara sort of got back into action by founding the all-girl superhero team 'Birds of Prey', where she at least got to pull the strings out of harm’s way."
Kim listed some of the other members, which included the aforementioned Huntress but no one calling themselves 'Batgirl'.
"It seemed the writers really wanted one though since they made a new one up - Cassandra Cain. A conveniently mute young lady trained as an assassin, who wasn't just a woman but half-asian as well! Bet it made them feel real progressive and inclusive."
I had refrained from a silent-but-deadly joke, since there's nothing funny about men preferring women to shut up. Hearing Kim read that out made me fear I'd strayed too far from objectivity, but then again, it would be a bland show if we stuck to just the facts.
Anyway, Kim mentioned that the storyline in which Cassie turned out to have been a villain all along was quickly forgotten by the company as the fans kinda liked her a lot, and eventually Barbara got some much-needed physiotherapy and learned to walk again after a mere quarter-century out of action. Call me crazy, but it sounded long overdue in a world where death is just a minor inconvenience.
Though it all felt more plausible than anyone ever being able to keep track of all the characters in the comics, and Kim very pointedly lifted a paper to show she needed the script.
"If that wasn't complicated enough, another young female vigilante - Stephanie Brown - started out by calling herself 'The Spoiler', went on to fail her audition as Batman's next Robin and finally became Batgirl after being gifted Cassandra's suit. It's anyone's guess who's the official one by now, but most accept the original as being the only real Batgirl. As far as a fictional figure can be called real, that is."
She finished by recommending a more amusing take - the 'Super Hero Girls' cartoon. I'd found one or two of those shorts a good antidote to the groan-inducing comic book lore. I swore we'd use a more obscure heroine the next time - if there'd be one.

Anyway, Kim used the point of a plastic batarang to perfunctorily pop the decorations and then got ready to shoot the subscriber vid. She appeared in front of the dark backdrop, lamenting the lack of backup on her patrol as there were plenty of crooks about.
"And Batman never lets me use the signal so it's a real chore calling him!"
She opened a compartment on her belt and took out a huge yellow balloon. Puffing urgently, she blew it perfectly round but since it was eighteen inches across it took her a while. The black, circular bat-symbol emblazoned on the loon expanded along with the rubber, growing bigger as the strong breaths picked up the pace and turned almost frantic - as if the costumed heroine was in a real hurry. Eventually the neck began to fill up and that was Kim's cue to stop. She wiped the brow of her cowl.
"Phew! It's even worse when I'm out of helium."
She tossed the balloon into the air and watched it fall back down, catching it in passing with a dejected sigh. Pondering the dilemma she seemed to come to a conclusion.
"I'll just have to hope he thinks this is a gun."
With that, she deftly burst the balloon between her hands and nodded to no one in particular. It was a stupid way to end the skit, but kinda fitting since it had been stupid from the outset.
Then there was nothing left on the schedule and before Batgirl could react I'd cuffed her from behind.
"You're mine now", I sneered, pushing her onto the bed face down.
"What are you doing?" she asked, getting in on the act.
I removed her belt and undid the fastenings hidden beneath it, velcro strips keeping the top and tights together.
"Getting while the getting's good."
A firm yank sent everything below the waist to her ankles and I got a magnificent view of her shapely behind and the tight, swollen slit below. Seeing Kim so horny made it agony getting ready and the strapon seemed to take forever slipping into place.
The caped captive snarled in defiance. "Hurry up and get it over with, you fiend!"
I would, but there was one more thing left to do. In lieu of a gag I took a spare 18-incher from the belt and put it in her mouth.
"Maybe another loud noise will bring you some help."
She was already blowing into the rubber pouch when I pushed her hips down to the right height and slid the shaft all the way inside her. A muffled noise between a moan and whine told me how good it was for her and the burning, pounding rush through my veins proved how good it was for me. There was nothing gentle about the pounding I gave her and the balloon was bobbing like crazy behind the twin points of her hood, the hard exhales constantly interrupted by bitten-back gasps and groans. The latex had grown to fill the entire space between her face and the wall and was pushed upwards enough to escape her lips. Kim’s yelp of surprise had nothing on the disappointment she let loose as I pulled out to chase down the wayward loon. I caught it with barely one of her breaths still inside it and put it where it belonged before shoving the fake member back in place. She was so wet I barely had to aim and went on as rough as before if not rougher, going mad with lust while imagining myself a villain having his way with a helpless heroine and enjoying the hell out of it. It felt good to be bad for once.
“If you think you can blow your way to freedom you’re mistaken.”
If Kim heard me she ignored it, pushing incredible whooshes into the loon between grunts lined up with my efforts. I’d been in awe of her handless inflation skills if I hadn’t been so focused on fucking her brains out and was relieved I wouldn’t have to think of something to say when the balloon popped – it slipped her grip again and there was a “Nooo!” from Batgirl as she desperately tried to catch the flailing neck with her mouth. To no avail – though caught against the headboard it was just out of reach and sputtered into emptiness right in front of her. I gave an evil chuckle.
“Aw, too bad. That was your last chance – you’re all mine now!”
With that I gave it my all, trying my best to show she was at my mercy as I was taking my pleasure with little regard for hers, which of course wasn’t true but my main goal was to come before her, the back half of the strapon working my privates as furiously as I was fucking her. My grip on her hips tightened as I went even harder and faster and soon my vision turned into a searing blur and all I could do was cry out “Yes! Yes! YES!” as a mind-boggling pleasure exploded between my temples.
I held still until it settled and then started over at a less violent tempo but my victim would have none of that.
“Do your worst, scum!”
And I did. Now it was far less pleasant for me but a small price to pay to finish the game in style. Kim shook and shuddered and shrieked and followed my example with a yell louder than any balloon could hope to pop. I undid her shackles but caught her gaze and instead of going for kisses turned her over and chained her to the hook at the top of the bed.
With Batgirl’s wrists secured above her head it was my turn to call for help. I dialed Kriss, told her of the situation and ordered her and Lex to bring the right tools for the job.
They must have been prepared as it didn't take them long to report in as regular henchmen in black tops and pants with matching domino masks, Kriss covering her head with a dark fedora and Lex hers with a newsboy's cap. They were only missing crowbars and flashlights, but had substituted those with strapons. Or Kriss had, at least, making her my number one girl in more ways than one. They nodded approval at the sight.
“Nice catch, boss”, my wife said. “Want us to work her over?”
“Yeah, and don’t hold back.”
In a blink Kriss was on her knees between Kimmy’s thighs for a spot of breaking and entering, minus the breaking part. The cry from our captive didn’t exactly indicate distress but was still loud and drawn-out.
"I'll silence her", Alex said, dropped her pants and sat on Kim's face. That brought an end to her whining and a start to Lexi's. With nothing else to do I decided to taunt the heroine a bit and picked up the dropped balloon.
“I know you can’t see me but at least you can hear this.”
I blew a huge, noisy breath into the yellow pouch and felt it grow between my fingers. A couple more puffs made certain to anyone within earshot what I was doing.
“Bet you wish it would pop and alert your friends… or anyone.”
I filled the loon a little more to make it a possibility.
“But I won’t let it.”
Despite that denial I kept adding more air which it could still easily hold and brought my face closer to make sure she didn’t miss a word.
“I’m gonna blow it all the way up to the bursting point…”
Kim whimpered in response to my puff, puff, puffing and after a particular long one I finished the promise.
“…and then let the air out.”
Her plaintive moan was really satisfying and I felt a malicious smirk spread across my face.
“It’s just like inflating your hope.” I blew in a big, whooshing breath. “Gonna enjoy watching it deflate.”
I left her with that thought and went on blowing. Soon I’d made the balloon as taut as it could get, with even a hint of neck. It was no longer round but had begun to stretch out, almost like an enormous lemon. I drummed the tight rubber with my fingertips.
“Can you hear how close it is? I think it would pop if my nails touched it. Too bad they won’t.”
I let out enough air to make the loon shrink back to a sphere and Kim’s whine was proof she’d noticed. I motioned for Kriss to straighten her back and leaned in to really grab Kim’s attention by releasing the rest of my breath against her clit.
I don’t know if it was the smooth airstream hitting a sensitive spot or Kriss’ new angle of attack or just the natural combination of everything, but the effect was incredible. Kim bucked and writhed and pounded the bed with her heels and it was just as well Lex was where she was because it got loud. I thought the wailing would just keep going but it abruptly stopped, just to be replaced by a single, disbelieving line.
“Is that all?!”
Kriss looked impressed. “Have it your way. Oh wait – you’re having it my way!”
She went at it with wild abandon, thrusting hard and deep enough to make Kimmy’s ass sink into the mattress at every turn. Lexi’s grin grew wide and her eyes rolled back, indicating things had gotten more interesting on her side too. I felt sort of superfluous and stood back, but Lex extended a hand towards me.
“Let me try”, she said and reached for the balloon.
I gave it to her and watched her start off. The latex was soft and pliant from being stretched to the max and swelled up beautifully with my lover’s breath. It was an amazing spectacle - from where I was standing it looked like Kriss was pumping air into Kim who in turn blew it on through Lex, ending up inside the balloon at her lips. There are easier ways to inflate things but few as improbable and oddly enticing. Or outright sexy. I wanted to release Kimmy’s arms so she could grab Lexi’s thighs for a really hard facefuck but that would be against the rules - what I saw was plenty and it had me too mesmerized to even play with myself. The loon grew big enough for Kriss to reach with her face and she pressed her mouth against it and puffed out her cheeks, giving the impression of helping Lex blow it up. The third time she did it the balloon burst into shreds with a sudden bang to the surprise of them both. Their efforts faltered and they sorta froze into place, unsure of what the script called for.
“Now you’ve done it” I said. “Let’s beat it before someone comes.”
“Like me!” Kim called out as we retreated from the room.
But the door only closed to let us drop character and when we returned moments later the mood was completely changed. There was nothing but gentle tenderness as we undid the restraints and pulled the cowl off Kimmy’s head to lavish her face with sweet kisses. Her hair and makeup were an utter mess but being so disheveled somehow made her incredibly attractive. The look of absolute satisfaction might have helped, of course.
Pulling at various garments we soon had her completely stripped and she was basking in the attention and loving licks all over her body. Whenever we're up to anything even approaching bondage we make sure to end with showing it was all just fun and games, and Kim was thoroughly caressed while being told how much we loved her. Lexi was getting undressed for an even more physical display, so we left the rest of the aftercare in her capable hands.

I wanted some of that too and had Kriss tie me up in our bedroom after telling her what I'd done to Kim. Soon I found myself in her position, fucked hard from behind with a limp green balloon hanging from my lips. A 24-incher, since Krissie doesn’t do half-measures. I struggled to blow it up and found it hard to keep it in place while being mercilessly railed, but kept at it until a particularly deep thrust made my jaw drop with delight. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the loon descend and vanish from sight and that was the last thought I gave it because Kriss really got into things. The sheer frenzy of her assault had me reeling and the noises she made were more of a turnon than they had any right to be. She might have been taking her pleasure, but I got a helluva lot of milage out of it too and when she screamed in ecstasy I begged her not to stop. And she didn’t - not until I was done screaming too.
Then I got all the pampering I could have wished for and eventually lay back next to her.
“Love being done like that. Being used by you.”
My wife grinned. “You sure are useful. Feels real naughty - like unlawful entry.”
I kissed her. "Like’s the word. But I’m surprised you didn't try the back entrance."
"Gentleman thief", she said. "Only by appointment."
"Tomorrow night, nine o'clock?"
“Let me check my calendar”, Kriss nodded. “I think I can squeeze it in.”
Unashamed of the awful joke she retrieved the loon from the floor and sat back, propping herself up with some pillows against the headboard.
“Better disable the alarm ahead of time.”
She began to blow the big balloon up, completely ignoring me for the moment. I snuggled up on her shoulder and closed my eyes, listening to her powerful breaths and feeling her chest rise and fall below my chin. I wasn’t afraid of the inevitable bang, just a teensy bit apprehensive, but being so close to Kriss felt safer than most anything. She’s so good at balloon blowing that even if she’d been a complete nobody I would have loved having her in the Angels. I sometimes lamented her fame as it would be fun writing a real balloon number for her, and I know she’d adore doing one. Maybe I would have to think one up for personal use, one the world would never see. Knowing Crystal Mackenzie had done a bone fide fetish act for the camera - and actually having the recording - might be awesome. Right now she was in the midst of nonchalantly overinflating a twentyfour-incher in the nude and that alone was a sight people would pay a lot for. And I got to see it whenever I wanted. Lucky girl indeed.
The explosion snapped me out of the reverie and Kriss pulled me into a sweet embrace.
“Pop”, she stated.
I hugged her back and asked if she’d mind me spending the night with Kim, outlining my plans.
“Naww, that’s sweet. Is it ok if me and Lex are less…chaste? Haven’t done anything with her today. Except playing of course.”
I said they could do whatever they wanted. They would anyway, but a clean conscience never hurts.

The after-dinner program went just as described, except we had a reading session and watched a movie. We picked ‘Batman and Robin’ and had a blast making fun of everything from Arnie’s accent to the suit nipples. Also, I told Kim she made a much better Batgirl than Alicia Silverstone.
“And she didn’t get the hair right either.”
“What happened to her? She was a big name, right?”
“This. Sorta killed both her and Robin’s careers.”
I remembered Chris O’Donnell used to be hot property too – heck, I even had a girly crush on him. I was never a Clooney fan though and his turn as Bats hadn’t changed that.
Once between the sheets we kept talking about everything and nothing until too tired to go on. There was one thing we wouldn’t give up though and that was sharing our air along with the goodnight kiss. I could still feel the warmth of Kimmy’s breath inside me as she curled up beside me and her arm across my body made sure my dreams would be as sweet as she’d hoped.

I woke her up by blowing into her mouth again and got the sweetest, groggiest smile before she returned the favor. I turned it into a kiss which went on until we were both wide awake.
“That was odd”, Kim said. “Falling asleep without nookie.”
I stroked some hair out of her face. “Did you miss it?"
"'Course I did. But it didn't hurt."
"Good to hear. And I hope you noticed I didn't say anything about skipping good-morning sex..."
Then we lovingly and thoroughly wished each other a very good morning, and in the process made it one.

[ChillinHaze]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

I still fail to see what's so sexy about superheroes but heck was that roleplay sounding erotic!
Also, everytime that doll has a role to play I expect something to happen. I dunno why though, maybe because a doll like that is usually used to make a popping or deflation joke or something? ^^''

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Don't worry, I have plans for the doll. And while I personally have no particular thing for superheroes, I like the possibilities of roleplaying! (Also a good way to add variety to the on-camera outfits.)

[Infl8]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Thanks for the latest story. I was wondering if that doll is gonna get involved in later chapters soon.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 43

Writing's always easier when you have a starting point, and Kim provided me with one for the next show. She thought a more traditional hosting look would be interesting and showed the dark brown pinstripe suit they'd found for Barbara. She'd match it, of course, and so I decided to make it a proper newscast for once - looking up happenings from all over the world instead of the usual US exclusives.
I knew Kimber would rock her outfit but was less sure about Barbie. Since that was a particular thing for Lexi I tasked her with dressing up the doll to her tastes. The shirt and jacket were already in the studio but she spent some time in our own wardrobes picking out a nice tie. Armed with three to choose from she set about deflating the dummy enough to effortlessly pull on its new clothes. The shirt proved tough to button without something to strain against, but she managed. The trousers and jackets followed, and the end result gave a whole new definition of 'rumpled'. In short, it wasn't just the suit that appeared loose and wrinkled - but the wearer as well.
Alex grabbed the hose to remedy that. She drew a deep breath and started to blow Barbara back up, and I found it pretty damn cool to see the outfit straighten out as the dummy was filled with air. Lex kept blowing until Barb was rigid and looked her work over. The fit was actually decent even if the coat seemed a bit tight over her chest, but since the body was so pliant it the fabric would never be strained. Unless of course Lexi decided to overinflate her beyond all safety margins, of course.
"The collar's a bit loose", she noted and blew in a couple of more breaths, making the neck expand enough to fix that.
An inscrutable smile hinted the look was to her satisfaction. One by one she held the ties against the white shirtfront, finally deciding on the deep red one with diagonal silver stripes.
Now, over the past years I'd gotten an education on different knots so I can tell you the one Lexi chose is called a 'Prince Albert', or double four-in-hand if you wanna get technical. It went well with Barbie's round face and after some adjusting she looked rather dapper in her new duds. Lex toyed with her tresses and declared her ready for work.
"You haven't even hugged her", I said. "Thought it was a house rule whenever you blow up a doll."
"If I start I might wanna do more", she said, and knowing just how humpable Barbara was I couldn't fault her.
Nevertheless, she gave the dummy a good, tight squeeze and put her down at the desk. Kim was still cramming for the show but would probably be ready soon enough. I could tell Lexi was about ready to burst with anticipation.
"Think this'll work?" I asked.
"Oh, for sure. At least for me."
Couldn't ask more than that, really - but a watchable show would be a neat bonus. And we didn't have to wait too long for the star to show up. It was worth the delay for sure.
In her professional-looking light grey suit with white pinstripes Kim fit the part all over. Her tie was a bright azure patterned with tiny squares in a darker shade, and she'd gone for a wider knot because of her facial shape. Gonna show off a bit and call it a half-windsor. And while Kim can't be inflated for a better fit, it wasn't needed as Kriss has made sure we all have a couple of made-to-measure shirts. There was some jewelry but not much - merely a small silver ring in each ear.
I was kinda surprised she hadn't put much effort into her hair and makeup, but it turned out she just knew her mate. Despite being a little taller Lex instantly set out to climb Mount Kimberly. Or maybe mount, it was hard to tell. She was nuzzling and fondling and kissing the blonde with such passion I thought we were about to get yet another definition of rumpled. But she managed to compose herself and stood back to just stare.
"Daamn. Damn, damn, damn, that's fine! Hands down my favorite look. On my favorite girl..."
A hand went up to caress Kimmy's face and miraculously did no mor e. The presenter took it and very pointedly kissed the knuckles while gazing into the owners eyes. Then she turned to me.
"Want some too before I get painted?"
She couldn't think me that much a fool. "Might as well."
Soon I was far too close to properly admire her attire, but her taste and smell were more than enough.
"Lucky Lex. She could handle the camera if you wanna start fucking when you finish."
"Nah, you do it. But I am gonna fuck her right after whether she wants it or not."
"Wantwantwantwantwant!"
Well, that much was evident even without spoken confirmation. But first the studio - and the presenter - had to be spruced up for the occasion. Kim was already at the mirror to apply a proper paintjob and brush her hair neatly, and once that was over and done with she picked up the clear plastic mass she'd brought with her.
See, the desk-sized globe wasn't really enough to emphasize the world-wide expansion, and Kimber proceeded to illustrate that quite literally by inflating the big, transparent beach ball with printed continents for the camera. It was kinda neat contrasting the strict suit with what was basically a pool toy, and as Kim blew big, steady breaths into it I hoped some inflatable fans shared Lexi's interest.
With a final, strong puff to smooth out the last wrinkles Kim closed the valve and tied it to a nylon string I'd hung from the ceiling hook. The vinyl Earth spun gently in the air behind the presenters as we got ready for the main event.

"Welcome to another episode of 'On the Air' with me, Kimber, and my co-host Barbara. Today we'll be talking about news from all over the world so if you're watching from another country this might hit closer to home than usual. We'll look back at some happenings from this summer and see what’s been going on. One thing you might have noticed is that ‘FaceApp’ has gone completely viral. This photo-editing application can alter a person's appearance in many ways, make them older or younger, change skin tones, add features and who knows what. It can even make living humans look like plastic mannequins. That’s pretty wild, isn’t it, Barbara?”
The irony was lost on the dummy and Kim changed the subject. “This might only have affected residents of New York, but by remarkable coincidence Manhattan’s West Side was struck by a blackout on July 13 – 42 years to the day after the most famous one. This time only 73 000 customers were affected instead of the nine million who lost power in 1977 and service was resumed in about three hours.” She turned to the doll. “Wouldn’t you say the timing’s uncanny?”
I killed the studio lights and in the darkness Kim’s voice could be heard.
“Very funny, Barb. What did you pay the lighting guy?”
I flipped the lamps back on and Kim turned back to the camera, reapplied her smile and straightened her tie. She went on to report a couple of funny notices from Japan and South Africa, nothing remarkable or world-changing but nevertheless things that happened. Then a cultural tidbit:
“Singer-Rapper Lil Nas X recently broke the Billboard Top 100 all-time record with his song ‘Old Town Road’, passing ‘One Sweet Day’ and ‘Despacito’ by staying 17 consecutive weeks at the top of the chart. And we'll find another X in SpaceX, who just recently managed a successful rocket launch. They don't have the best track record in that department."
She reached into a pocket and took out a long supermarket-quality balloon and blew it up. Two hard puffs filled it to the limit and beyond before it exploded much like some of the previous efforts by that company. The red rubber shards flew out of frame and Kim kept reading the piece as if that interlude hadn't happened.
"This time it carried the Israeli satellite AMOS-17 into orbit and the flight went off with a hitch. Wanna show them, Barb?"
She placed another limp loon, a green one this time, in front of her colleague and went on.
"It’s a regular communication satellite and was launched free of charge as compensation for the previous one exploding along with the rocket before takeoff."
Noticing the balloon hadn't been inflated she picked it back up.
"Unlike the SpaceX rockets these are kinda tricky to blow up - not everyone can do it. Moment."
She quickly filled it to capacity by herself, tilted it straight upwards and let go. It shot off and away, allowing Kim to finish as intended.
"Let's hope their future projects will take off as nicely."
A couple other, general items followed which added nothing except a complete lack of responses from Barbie and Kim seemed more of a ditz than ever for not realizing something was off. She shuffled some papers.
“In other cultural happenings, British guitarist David Gilmour, best known from the group Pink Floyd, has auctioned off some of his guitar collection for charity, bringing in 21 million dollars. His iconic “Black Strat” alone went for almost four of those. In all he sold 126 guitars which begs the question – who even owns that many instruments?”
I shrugged to myself. Kriss’ collection is far smaller anyway.
That said Kimber went on to the last bit, which was a double feature.
"At any rate, the money will go towards battling climate change. And on that note, in an effort to spare the environment New Zealand has put a ban on single-use plastic shopping bags. Starting on July 1st, it's no longer legal for retailers to sell or otherwise provide them to customers. In case you’re wondering, I’m talking about this kind.”
She took a standard, non-descript white shopping bag from under the desk and held it up. It lacked all kinds of prints as we wanted to stay as ad-free and neutral as possible. Then she bunched up the opening, brought it to her face and blew into it until she’d inflated it with all the air it could hold. She held it to the side to not block the view of either her or Barbie while keeping it on prominent display.
"So for antipodean bag importers, the business has gone bust."
She slammed the bag hard with the other palm and it popped with a rather satisfying noise. The remains were dropped out of sight and Kimber went on to related news.
"On the subject of the environment, this summer the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany and the United Kingdom have noted new record temperatures. It's a pretty worrying trend, as global warming - regardless of naysayers - is a real threat."
While Kim spoke she put a hand in her inner pocket and withdrew a lighter, and at the final word clicked it on and applied the flame to the bottom of the big beachball. A small poof blew out the light but the damage had been done and the sphere rapidly deflated. Now no longer a decoration it still served as an illustration of the point.
"That's all we had for you today, but check back next time when we'll probably be back to our old tricks. Until then", Kimber finished with the usual 'like and subscribe' spiel, which I was growing pretty damned tired of. But what the hell, it's part of the game.
So's the subscriber video, but at least there were a lot of options for that. We went with a musical one, Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy'. If it's a good enough anthem for the European Union it should be good enough for the whole world. And it is rather upbeat and hopeful, even in Kim's not-too-experienced interpretation on the sax. We left Barbara out of that shoot, though.
Then it was time for her to make good on her promise to Lex and I tactfully packed up my things. I did overhear how they started out, though.
“I’d better take this off so you don’t wrinkle it. I’ve reservations for tonight and I don’t want to wear something else…”
“You won’t need that for what I’m gonna do.”
That’s where I shut the door and went to show my wife what we’d done.

Kriss approved, particularly of the song performance. She immediately suggested the four of us should play it together.
"We could dress like politicians in suits and glasses and pretend to be in a really boring meeting. Even better, a heated debate! And then rise and pick up the instruments to settle our differences by playing that."
It wasn't what I'd call a brilliant setup. "I'd rather play it straight as a stage piece."
Or not at all.
"Suit yourself", she giggled.
“Speaking of dressing up, Kim's taking Lexi out. Whaddya say about that?"
Kriss gave the right answer without having to think. "Where you wanna go?"
"Anywhere you like."
"Semi-fancy...or fancy? Just so I know what to wear."
"Semi's fine, 'cause I'd very much like my Krissie in a dress. So everyone will stare. Men at your cleavage, women with envy."
"I'm down with that. But I wouldn't mind if you wore a suit." She came close to whisper. "No shirt, just a tie around your bare neck. That dark blue one with hearts..."
She kissed my throat to remind me how nice things can feel against it and I threw my head back. Would be no hesitation in the wardrobe at least.
Kriss' breath was warm in my ear as she went on. "...so when the jacket comes off I'll have a leash."
"Make reservations", I managed. "Now - or we won't get out of the house."
We did get out of the house, and I hope the girls had a really nice time on their date. I sure had. Especially after going back home.

The daily inbox inspection had become a pretty lengthy affair. This time we'd gotten an outright treatise on Batgirl that proved there are people who have even more spare time than me and to be honest I only skimmed through it. It didn't add anything of substance, except her vague romantic history with Robin and being part of a love triangle with him and Starfire. I didn't know if that was a boy or a girl but guessed the latter.
Then someone again asked why the member videos weren't downloadable and I said it was to minimize sharing. I didn't mention anyone with a decent screen recorder can keep anything they watch - those who want it enough find a way. I wondered if there were any Kim clips in circulation among collectors, and how they rated against others. Truth to be told I didn't care much as it wasn't exactly our main livelihood. But it would be nice to know if someone had made an effort to keep a video of me.
More surprising was another contribution from Texas, with a message from Mandy thanking me for the tip and saying the order had been placed. The main content was visual, though.
'Maybe you could use it for Labor Day or something.'
The video was work-themed for sure and showed those lovely ladies dressed in some kind of hospitality wear - burgundy shirts open at the neck under cream waistcoats. The discreet nameplates spelling out 'MAY' and 'LULU' added to the uniform look. Amanda was again in her wavy blonde wig and if you knew to look for it you could tell she was preggers, though her bust size made the extra girth hard to notice. I recognized the setting as the dining room at their ranch, but it was large and opulent enough to pass for a more public space as well. They were at any rate apparently hired to help with decorations and just as evidently lacking in experience. A tall gas tank was standing by the table I suppose the camera was placed on and an almost ridiculously large pile of uninflated pink and white loons lay next to it.
"Flowers, check", Mandy said. "Silverware, check. Guess that just leaves the balloons!"
"Mm-hmm", Betty nodded. "Sure you can work this thing?"
"Shouldn't be too hard, right? They said just open the valve and press down this thing."
She did both and a blast of air shot from the cylinder - at least it sounded like that.
"Let's get started then?" her wife suggested and Mandy agreed, picking a loon from the table and putting it on the nozzle.
With a terrific whoosh the rubber sprang into shape and inflated to full size within moments, reaching eleven inches, growing a long neck and exploding before you had time to react. Betty yelped and jumped back.
"I thought you said you knew how it worked!"
"It worked, didn't it? Guess we just have to be more careful."
"You'd better."
Another balloon was filled into a lovely pear shape and Mandy quickly pulled it away and made a neat knot in the neck.
"You try."
Betty shrugged and applied a white loon to the contraption, watched it inflate and removed it just in time. She tied it off and tossed it aside, heedless of where it would land. There was no out-of-sight pop so the floor at least seemed safe.
"All right then", she said and did another. "This shouldn't take too long."
They took turns filling up balloons, making about eight in rapid succession. Then the noise from the tank grew fainter and Betty's current loon grew much slower than the previous one, and Mandy's next one barely got its proper pear shape before the pressure fizzled completely. She fiddled with the valve but nothing doing - there was no getting enough air for another balloon out of there, let alone the whole heap. And they'd only made a dent in that supply.
"Now what?" Betty asked.
Amanda shrugged. "Guess we're blowing the rest by mouth."
"What? As in...?" She pantomimed a few puffs.
"Yep!" her colleague happily exclaimed and inflated a pink one for real. "Just like that!"
"Can't we just...dunno, put up the ones we have and call it a day?"
"Oh no, we won't get paid unless everything's as ordered! Got the specs right here."
The blonde patted a pocket as the brunette sighed.
"Great. Let's get it over with then."
She picked up a big balloon, drew a deep breath and blew it full of air. It wasn't like she struggled, far from it, but she made it clear she didn't relish the task. Her indifference made her careless and the second one burst in her face, much to her surprise and consternation and Mandy's amusement. With a look of utter but dutiful resignation Betty resumed her work, and soon the recording was sped up to capture the whole process in a watchable period. The incredibly swift inflations became sort of comical almost at once, and the occasional blow-to-pops with accompanying reactions downright hilarious. It didn't take me long to lose count of all those balloons, but I'd be surprised if there were less than sixty all told. One by one they were blown up, tied off and tossed over the ladies' shoulders and not until they were halfway through their final ones did the speed return to normal. With a weary whoosh Betty blew her balloon full and made a very definite knot.
"There! I'm glad that's done with."
"Yay!" Mandy clapped her hands. "Now we only have the special ones left!"
"Special?" Betty blinked.
Her jaw dropped only a fraction of an inch as those were brought out, making her look even more put-upon. The pink rubber pouches Amanda held up would reach at the very least thirty inches, maybe thirty-two. They didn't look like full three-footers, but huge enough to give anyone pause.
"Tell me you're joking."
"Nope! Part of the specs." She patted the pocket again as if that justified everything, which in a way it did.
Betty shook her head and took the offered behemoth, sighed, and inhaled immensely. She turned for a final look at Mandy to make sure she wasn't pulling her leg, but as the blonde was already happily puffing away at her own giant globe, there was no avoiding it and Elizabeth began to blow once more. Mercifully, the video faded out during the second breath and I had time to reflect how disappointed the viewers would be before it came back on. Now enough time had passed for the balloons to fill up all the way, which could easily have been done by compressor off-camera, but were in any case still in the decorators’ hands. Mandy was looking at the beautiful balloon with wide-eye delight as she blew in some finishing puffs, but whatever Betty was thinking couldn't have been as joyful. She was struggling mightily, bending over with each exhale and having gone red in the face from the effort. Her eyes were pressed firmly shut and her cheeks bulged out all the way below them. With a tremendous heave she emptied her lungs into the latex one last time, then straightened her back with a gasp.
Mandy, who was already tying her balloon off, grinned. "Wow! See - that wasn't too bad, was it?"
"Ask me again when I'm alive", Betty wheezed.
She attempted to seal the air inside but the oversized neck was uncooperative. Her fingers kept shifting and slipping as the brunette got more and more frustrated, and I had only one thought.
She's gonna lose her grip. That'd be a good way to end the skit, for sure - forcing her to start over.
I was wrong. The fight against the troublesome rubber got animated and violent enough to end with the entire balloon exploding, sending big shreds and torn pieces across the room and over the table while blowing Betty's hair back in the process. The lady herself was too mortified to even react, just looking at the devastation in dumb silence. Mandy broke the spell.
"Whoopsie!"
Her chipper, sing-song delivery completely punctured any pretenses at pathos, and I couldn't help laughing at the not-so-tragic display. The follow-up was a final blow to Betty's composure:
"Good thing we have spares!"
The balloon burster took one glance at the empty monstrosity dangled in front of her. Then her eyes rolled back, her knees buckled and with a gentle groan Betty collapsed backwards and out of sight. There were rapid pops of loons bursting at her landing and several survivors were sent flying upwards by the impact. As they fell down again Mandy could have ended things by shrugging and starting to inflate the replacement herself, but there was a final treat for a particular audience.
"Guess she could use some extra air too!"
With that she knelt down behind the table, but you could distinctly hear a face being patted.
"Lulu? Wakey-wakey!"
Then a shrill, eager inhale followed by the sound of someone blowing into someone else's mouth - I'm pretty familiar with it so I could tell it was the real deal. Two more breaths followed before the video faded out one last time.

Kim, who'd been watching along with me, was chuckling noiselessly.
"That's pretty damn awesome! Just like old times, eh, boss?"
I had to agree. It wouldn't have been out of place at all at the theater, except we couldn't really do time lapses on stage. Apart from that it had been spot on and I'd never missed those girls more than in that moment.
But there was still another folder to check, which not too surprisingly contained the full inflation scene at regular speed - and proof they'd indeed blown the bigger balloons up by mouth. The whole thing was there, unedited from start to finish, and it would be a real shame to leave out Betty's ordeal. She hammed her difficulties up quite a bit - in stark contrast with Mandy's focused puffing, oblivious to her colleague's plight. Regardless of attitude they were both blowing up their faces to the max, as if to emphasize how much air was needed, and it did take them quite a while. I was amazed at how well Betty paced her efforts - they just seemed to get more and more intense. Someone less experienced would have overdone it at some point and have to dial it back, but she managed to give the appearance of an ever-increasing exertion. You would have felt sorry for her if you didn't know it was on purpose and the reason for it.
"Wish I could do something like that", Kim said.
"You can", I said, "if you wanna make it an obvious looner site. We could call it 'Kimber Kaboom'."
She balked. "Tempting but no. I like skirting that."
"Plausible deniability", I nodded, "is wonderful."
The vid we'd just received was quite wonderful too and called for a chat with the cast. I got them onscreen and thanked them for the lovely gift.
"To what do we owe such a neat production?"
"Birthday gift", Mandy said. "Hers."
She hiked a thumb at Betty, who seemed a little uncomfortable at being called out. I'd of course said grats on her timeline but it was no surprise there'd been a lot more from her mate, who went on to clarify a bit.
"She wanted to make something like the old acts."
"Been a while", her wife admitted. "I kinda miss it at times."
There was agreement all around and it struck me that if I could make a really extravagant birthday wish it would be putting on a reunion show with all the Angels...and featuring Crystal Mackenzie in strictly non-musical roles. Seemed impossible at the moment but you never know what the future holds.
"You sure hit the mark", I said. "Mind if I cut it short? Think it will be funnier to end with the fall."
"Told you", Betty said.
Mandy was unfazed. "Sure, go ahead! You can always put both versions up."
That was a thought. I told them the full inflations were amazing, complimented Bets on her acting (as she definitely don't have any problems blowing up even oversized balloons) but said they were probably above and beyond what you should expect from a mere membership.
Betty grinned. "No probs - use'em if you need more extras for your next DVD."
That was another, even better thought. As a sales argument it couldn't be faulted.
"Have to ask - how on earth did you get the tank to run dry on cue?"
"Magic fingers." The blonde wiggled her digits. "Wasn't just tying the loons."
The valve had been on her side and someone as quick as her would have no problems manipulating it behind the inflated globes. Should have been obvious but I don't think anyone would be looking too closely - the act was basically full of misdirection. And I wasn't the only one wondering about behind-the-scenes stuff.
"Did you manage to rouse Sleeping Beauty with that kiss?" Kim asked.
"You could say that." Mandy effortlessly slipped into bimbo mode. "But I've found out I did it wrong! Turns out your supposed to pinch their nose, not do this!"
She took Betty's face in both hands and blew between her lips - two, three times in a row. It looked both funny, sweet and...nice. The brunette couldn’t hide either her surprise or enjoyment and seemed almost disappointed at the briefness.
"Yum", Kim leered. "Hope you kept going until she... popped."
"Of course", Mandy said as if not doing that would've been silly.
Betty blushed. It's amazing how that girl can tell the most outrageous tales about her exploits in and out of bed without batting an eye, and go along with others' fabrications as effortlessly. But when Amanda reveals something with even a hint of veracity she seems unable to play it down, let alone joke it off. Her reaction now proved it an absolute truth.
"Talk about birthday blowjob", Kim went on.
"Oh, that wasn't it!"
There was a pained aside. "Ames..."
"So did you use the loons for the party or something?" I said, hoping to spare Betty further embarrassment.
"Something", Mandy said. "Carried them all to bed and made love among them. Much better than a bed of roses, doncha think?"
"For sure", Betty agreed wistfully. She seemed a lot more comfortable with that memory.
I nodded. "Though you probably shouldn't combine them."
That got a laugh, and i wondered if anyone had ever been fool enough to keep the thorns in such a display. Not that I'd ever know since those flowers play hell with my sinuses.
"And the big one?" Kim wanted to know.
Mandy grinned mischievously. "Bent her over it."
"Ripped me a new one", Betty said, taking control of the narrative. "I'm still not walking right."
Kim approved. "Sounds intense."
"You don't know half of it. The explosion took out the nightstand."
"Have to get a new one", Mandy giggled. "One nightstand, coming up!"
"Better leave you lovebirds to it", I said before the puns became too painful. "Thanks again."

We naturally had to show Kriss and Lex the scenes, which had the expected effect on my wife.
"Why don't we do skits?"
"We do - the bubble dance and the orca comes to mind."
"I mean regularly."
"It's 'On the Air', not 'On the Stage'. Besides, I've already told our star we might want to limit the special interest stuff."
Kinda hypocritical considering the decoration and de-decoration vids but you already know what I meant. Also, in comedy it's far too easy to set standards you fail to live up to. The current show was intended as a mixed bag and could get away with bland episodes.
But since the universe is conspiring against me, that was the week we got the gift of an alien replica. You remember I mentioned the one from 'Dark Star' being very cheaply made from a beachball? This one was too, except quite a lot of effort had gone into spray painting it to look like the original. Two grey 'feet' made from heavy rubber gloves were attached at the bottom - or rather the top, as the valve was between them.
Kim was overjoyed - not to mention impressed - and immediately inflated it to capacity, which looked ridic. She had to let a good deal of air out to get a somewhat organic look. Emphasis on 'somewhat'. But a person lying flat on the floor could put their hands into the appendages while being hidden by the ball, as long as it was filmed head-on. Kriss managed to be laconic in spite of herself.
"You realize you basically have to remake that scene with the Galactic Heroine now."
"Make a storyboard and find a location" I said. "Then I'll consider it."
In hindsight, a "Fat chance" might have been better. But to round off, we also got a few messages about Barbara, and I'll just let you guess whether there were more wondering where she’d been bought or asking Kim to pop her.
You'd be pretty close whichever you pick.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Whew! The weather has been far too hot and clammy for writing about nice things, so this has been delayed. On the other hand, it's allowed me to finish the other project I mentioned - check

https://www.blowtopop.net/showthread.php?p=84838#post84838

to see what I've been up to.
Another side effect is that we're back to a somewhat current time of year in-story, so here's something taking place around now, season-wise.

Episode 44

Since we were approaching a new month Kriss had been struck by a puzzler - "What does September sound like?"
None of us had a ready answer. "It's the first month of fall", I said, "but I don't think 'falling' would cut it."
"Falling leaves..." Kriss mused. "Wind. Woodwind. No. But...wait!"
Evidently inspiration had struck as she left for who-knows-where. Well, I did, or was at least pretty damn sure she'd headed for the studio. And sure enough, before long she came to get me for a demonstration of what she and Lex had cooked up.
For once Alex had the lead part, playing the melody on the trombone while Kriss added some ambience on the flute - probably to prove she wasn't completely hopeless at it. In fact, it sounded pretty good. The smooth brass slid effortlessly between notes at an uneven tempo, each change as surprising and unpredictable as the wind, with the flute reminiscent of air blowing through tiny openings - which was exactly what it was, but still. A few capricious trills to emulate brief, whirling gusts completed the soundscape and I didn't bother trying to hide I was impressed. As for what they'd wear there wasn't much doubt - some classy belted overcoats in light hues suited the autumn feel to a tee. Though I did stop Kriss from putting on one of her beloved wide-brimmed hats.
"It'd blow right off. You know that."
"I won't be in a real storm this time", she tried but saw reason.
I told her to save it for spring and the video wasn't worse for the lack of headgear. The balloons were orange and red to put you in mind of autumn leaves and the players looked great blowing them up before performing the new arrangement. I don't know if it was to emulate the gusty weather they filled up the necks all the way but it was a small miracle the balloons didn't burst on the spot.
Kim went a similar route, except dressing for indoors in a brown and tan sweater and blowing up a maroon balloon for the months' birthdays. Having seen what Kriss and Lex did she too inflated her prop to the very limit which resulted in a retake, since she didn't gauge it quite right. Nevertheless, with the blooper section and all it wasn't quite a waste. She listed some famous people born in September and I might mention Mandy shares a b-day with Gwyneth Paltrow and Meat Loaf. You’ll soon see why I bring that girl up.

Even if only members got to watch the Labor Day special it was a very welcome addition. Betty's special fan in particular was thrilled by her performance and I made sure to pass that on. It was during that conversation Mandy told me her package had arrived and the contents been put to good use.
As her wife wasn't too thrilled with her spilling any details I called the blonde for a private report. I knew she was dying to tell me.
"It's a-mazing", she said. "Never thought a doll could be that bouncy!"
"Tried it yourself?"
"Not yet. And Lizzie's pretty much been hogging her."
"So she liked it?"
"That's one way to put it!"
I asked how she'd introduced the new toy in the bedroom and she gave me a thorough account.
"I told her I had something she didn't have to be as careful with and she said if it's a doll they're even more fragile."
I grinned at the memory of Bets accidentally humping the cheap demo dummy to death at the theater. Mandy went on:
"But she shut up real quick when I brought out the new one, because she recognized the model from TV. She asked if it was the same and I only nodded because I was busy blowing it up."
"Did she appreciate the gesture?"
"Pretty sure, though she kept fussing over me straining myself. Just because I ballooned it a bit to show how sturdy it was."
"A bit?"
"Made it fat! That was fun. 'Cept I had to go back to chubby before Liz would touch it."
She described how her mate had held, squeezed and fondled the hefty curves before being told to go ahead and try it out. Apparently she'd enjoyed her new ride.
"But I stopped her before she got too far. So I could put my wig on it and tell her 'There - your very own Dolly'."
That had been Carrie's nickname for the blonde so it made some sense. I asked her if the new look was an improvement.
"Liz thought so at least - she went at it like crazy. Real nice sight!"
I could imagine. I was glad the stand-in had been up to standards.
"And she's been hogging it since, you say?"
"Well..." Amanda looked around, to make doubly sure she wasn't overheard. "We pulled the plug and put it away when we were done. I got some too, natch."
That pretty much went without saying, but nice to hear Betty hadn't forgotten her manners in the heat of the moment. It wasn't the end of the story, though.
"But that night we were watching TV and Liz pretended to be bored and snuck away. She still hasn't caught up with how streaming works so I just paused and followed. Sure 'nuff, I could hear her in the bedroom and had a peek through the keyhole. She was fumbling with Dolly's valve and blew her up in a real hurry! Like, desperate? As if she couldn't wait. So cute! Puffing and puffing with eyes wide open - never seen her that eager for a 'flatable. And when it was full she looked it over, hesitated and kept blowing - even more frantic! And blew and blew until Dolly was bigger than I'd made her.”
Picturing that wasn’t hard - actually thrilling. I hoped the tale would keep going in the same direction and wasn’t disappointed.
"When she finally plugged it up she was breathing real heavy but not with exhaustion! Tore off her pants and jumped on and she wasn't just boinking Dolly but fucking her. Didn’t bulge out as much as before but I wasn’t watching that, busy looking at her face. About crazed with lust, love seeing it.”
“So with you on that.”
“Great, right? Too bad it was over so fast. A few moans and she was done. Good ones though. And then I walked in on her."
Poor Betty. “Ouch. How did that grab her?”
Mandy grinned. "Made her all startled and flustered and asking how the new toy was didn’t help! But kisses did. Then I squeezed Dolly a bit – she was real firm - and asked Liz if she'd still do me if I was that big. She said I could pack on as much as I wanted and she'd still love me. And do me."
"Of course she would."
I'd do a 300-pound Kriss but she'd probably never go that far. Just as well because I prefer her healthy.
Amanda appeared to believe that for once. "Anyway, I said 'the balloon didn't break so why do you think I would?' She couldn't say and I told her to try the original to compare. And she did! Had been so long and she got so noisy and it was great!"
I couldn’t help smiling. “That’s good to hear. Maybe sexologists could prescribe blowup doll therapy.”
That got a giggle. "Seems to work for Liz! I said I'd always be available but she could use Dolly as much as she liked. And not worry about popping her because I got spares."
"Spares?"
"Two of 'em, in fact! Should last 'til I'm back to normal. And if not I'll just buy more."
"What did she think of that?"
"Just asked if I'd still blow 'em up for her. Silly Liz - I always will."
It was at this point my friend seemed to realize she might have gone a bit far in the retelling.
"I know that was TMI but it was so hot! Had to tell someone."
"I'm glad you did. Sounded hot for sure. Kinda made me hot."
Mandy's blue eyes went wide but without a hint of contrition. "Oopsie", she said. "Maybe Kriss could blow up something for you?"
"Got an idea or two."

We finished the talk without any awkwardness, but after that regular Penthouse Letter I had to go find my own spouse - or rather main squeeze. She was in the downstairs den, doing something on her laptop I hoped could stand interruption. Because I simply pulled her to her feet and began kissing. Her mouth was so warm and wet and delicious and those soft lips so eager and skilled I felt my nipples grow stiff as I held her close, breathing in her wonderfully familiar scent.
“Hey, Chel.”
“Hey yourself.” I could have gone on telling her how much I wanted her right then, but that would’ve been pretty redundant. Another smooch and a request was enough.
"Be a doll and blow me?"
Kriss was practically beaming. "Love when you ask."
Ten seconds later I was flat on the couch with Kriss between my legs and if any doll could do what she did I wouldn’t buy just a couple spares.
She got some instant payback of course, but that night I prepared for bed early and instead of removing my makeup kohled my eyes and put on the slinky harem girl outfit. I blew up all the inflatable cushions we had and put on lovely satin pillowcases in various colors before arranging them and myself on the bedding. Kriss’ expression when she entered was worth the effort and wait.
“Someone’s shooting for the ‘favorite wife’ spot.”
“Well, since you’re mine and all…”
She just smiled as I guided her onto the mattress to slowly and thoroughly strip her before setting about earning the title as well.
“Gods, Chel, don’t stop!”
“Say it.”
“You’re the best! Bestandmostfavoredofwives…oh fuck! Keep going!”
I did, for so long there could be no backsies. Kriss looked suitably ruffled among the air-filled cushions, one leg sprawling over a dark green one and her golden hair spread over the ruby and sapphire pillows her head had sunk down between. The covered rubber creaked as she pulled herself together and took me in her arms.
“Definitely my favorite…”
Easy when there’s no competition. Next time I’d talk the girls into dressing up as well and see if Kriss stuck to her word with three ladies to pamper and spoil her. As there was little to no risk of her actually exploding I thought it could be a fun test.
And then she got far too cuddly and appreciative, ending up having to get me off too before I’d be able to sleep. But I’m pretty sure she planned it that way.

But on the subject of women that really might explode, I couldn’t help thinking of Betty’s escapades as I got Barbie ready for the next shoot. I inflated her enough to make both the pastel tank top and knitted grey cardigan fill up and stretch out, imagining how it would feel to bounce on the taut latex. It was tempting to try but I knew I’d never live down bursting her. Dodo had been bad enough.
Still, I made her as firm as I dared and in the end she did look thoroughly blown up – which my lungs could attest – and I suggested leaving her like that for one episode to really make it obvious she was continuously refilled…and perhaps get the viewers to fantasize about the process. Which we did. Kimber actually asked her co-host if she’d put on weight before apologizing for the rudeness and stating it was probably just the camera adding a few pounds.
As for the rest of the show – which wasn’t a particularly interesting one - we'd been growing a bit tired of having the studio made up like a half-assed birthday party and agreed it was better to just decorate it for themed eps. Besides, with Barbara in it there was technically always an inflatable on-screen. Kim felt it a shame to leave the subscribers without a little extra but I pointed out there were now enough of them to make a special treatment less special. And besides, she'd still get to spoil them occasionally.
But since I already had an idea floating around I decided to put it to use ASAP. The next episode would be themed indeed and cater to everyone, not just subscribers and members.
There’s no shame in recycling material and revisiting an old stage act wouldn’t hurt – besides, it would be severely toned down for a general audience. By a stroke of luck Kim had kept her outfit from back then – although stashed away – which would help her get into character at once. The bright blue midriff-baring top and magenta tights still hugged her figure in all their spandex-y glory but the workout socks had long since been retired. Since we’d be shooting outdoors there’d be sneakers and legwarmers instead anyway. A ponytail and headband completed the personal trainer look, although perhaps not a very professional one. Because if you haven’t guessed yet, we were going into exercise territory. And as Kim knows far more about that than I ever will she helped writing a sort-of script, which was more or less just points to cover. I trusted it would be more interesting watching her improvise around them a bit and let her body do most of the talking.

It was a fine day when we set up for filming in the back yard. The cute little robot mower had done its job and was now resting in its small shed like a good dog tired after playing. I hoped Kim wouldn’t work out too hard as I sorta had designs on her. That ass looked far too yummy in those pants and it wasn’t without regrets I made her wear a sports bra. Jiggling and prominent nipples are fine in a burlesque show, but not as much in what we were doing now.
Anyway, we set the stage with the hot tub off in the background as a reminder of other episodes and arranged the for once completely deflated Barbara in a pile on the ground. I’d put her in the shiny tracksuit and made an effort to make her look almost but not entirely like a heap of workout clothes, letting just enough of her hair peek out to give eagle-eyed watchers some hope.
As the camera started to roll Kimber bounded into view and welcomed everyone to another instalment of ‘On the Air’, stating she was going to talk about the importance of keeping in shape and various ways to do it.
“And what can be more suited for our show than a bit of… Air-obics?”
That was my cue to start up the background music and Kim talked about how that helped with both keeping the rhythm and making the whole thing less boring. She went through several exercises, demonstrating them all in turn and probably causing a few viewers to give up at once as they’d never be that limber. While also definitely inspiring others to match or top her moves.
She got back to her feet and I let the volume fade.
“There’s a lot of equipment to help you out, weights, rubber bands, what-have-you. I’m going to show one that’s easy to bring anywhere and doesn’t weigh a ton.”
She reached off-camera for a certain implement and if you’re thinking it might be a fitness ball you’re completely right, only it didn’t look the part just yet. What Kim brought back was a drooping, flaccid mass of silvery rubber – we’d used an azure one on the show to joke about handling ‘blue balls’, but that was hardly appropriate now. She introduced the object before going into practical tips.
“You might think you need a pump to inflate these but that’s not true – and it’s in fact a good part of the workout to blow it up yourself.”
Having completely justified an inflation scene she proceeded to demonstrate the process. She pulled out the valve stem and folded the material across the hole before placing it between her lips. With steady, sure and determined breaths she filled the ball until it started to grow round, then shifted her grip to hold it between her palms while pressing her mouth firmly against the surface. Still blowing she went on to finish the job, pressurizing the semi-shiny sphere until it looked taut, her facing going very slightly red with the effort. She stuck the tip of her tongue into the opening while bringing the plug back in place and patted the results. It made a neat, hollow sound with a tiny twang of reverberating rubber.
“Just be sure to make it hard enough.”
That wasn’t really an innuendo but it could be taken for one, and Kim had likely made more than the ball just that. Then there was time for a spot of trivia.
“By the way, you might have heard these called ‘Swedish Balls’, but that’s a mistake. It should be ‘Swiss Balls’, as Switzerland was where they were first used for physiotherapy. Remember – Sweden and Switzerland are not the same thing, even if some keep mixing them up! Switzerland is the one with alps and chocolate while Sweden is where I was born. Check the episode from June 6th for more about that country.”
She went on to show some good ways to use the inflated globe – no music this time, just a running commentary on how and why to do the exercises. Eventually she rolled the ball out of view and went on to the third and last suggestion.
“If you’re like me and love dancing, that’s a really good way to work out. There are lots of moves and repetitions you can look up but I prefer to make my own – you can freestyle too, its more fun! Here’s something I like to do.”
I turned a new pre-chosen song on and Kim began to, for lack of a better word, show off. I’m sure the things she did are great and all for someone who wants to keep in practice, but beginner-friendly they weren’t. At least they didn’t look it. Still, it was a pretty appealing sight and it was her program after all. What she’d already taught was plenty for people just starting out and since there hadn’t been a dancing segment for ages this was long overdue. Besides, she didn’t stretch it out overmuch.
“So that’s just some ways to keep fit. There are plenty more. Now, I promised Barbara I’d help her get in shape, so I’d better do that too!”
Kimber walked over to pick up the end of the hose from under the formless fabric, and bending over with every breath began to blow hard into it. She kept a steady rhythm and as the clothes puffed up and swelled out it was soon evident what she was doing.
I’m sure many would appreciate the scene but I felt the silent despair of failure creeping up on me. It wasn’t bad as such but the hose really ruined the impression - to go back to a thought from months ago, it was far too much like blowing a furry up through the tail. And as Barb was no furry and the hose was no tail it looked…off. Still, I held my thoughts and let Kim finish.
“There”, she said plugging the doll’s valve. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, Barb?”
Kim looked so pleased after the usual signoff I really regretted saying we had to do it all over. She wasn’t happy at all about it and told me she’d just go jump in the tub. I explained my reasoning and added I thought the final inflation would benefit from a soundtrack as well.
With a deep sigh Kim trudged away to towel off her hard-earned sweat and reapply the sparse makeup. In the meantime I deflated the gym ball and made a slit for the valve in the back of the tracksuit, sacrificing a garment no one in their right mind would wear for the sake of art. The star at least approved of the semi-wanton destruction.
In my defense I will say the second take was an improvement, as Kim was surer of herself after a full run-through. The ball inflation in particular was as smooth as could be and she made a point of filling it for maximum bounciness. Perhaps she’d found it lacking before.
Also, blowing up Barbara looked far better with the doll firmly grasped by the waist. A thumping song backing up the procedure made it seem like an actual exercise, emphasized by Kim bending her knees and shifting her weight between her feet, turning the doll slightly to either side depending on direction. Sure, it hid more of her body from view than the first method had, but that only removed suspicions of the scene being made to tantalize. I liked it a lot and it seemed a funny (and at least marginally punny) way to bring Barbie into the episode.
However, Kim’s sweet smile faded the moment I shut off the recording.
“I’m not doing that over again.”
I kissed her cheek. “You won’t have to – both are fine, it’s just that the last one was better.”
“It had better”, she scoffed, but I could tell she wasn’t upset, just winded.
Showing her both made her see my point to some extent, and she even wondered out loud if the first attempt was an outtake or a blooper. Technically a bit of both, but I promised to put it up with a note on why we skipped it. However, I’d keep mum on why we didn’t show more of that. If I made her inflate her co-host on camera every single time we could likely increase the member figures quite a bit but it was probably for the best I kept doing it without being recorded. It would be far too easy to overshadow the actual content.
Kim still had opinions about being forced to perform all those moves twice and as a penance put me through one hell of a workout - but it was of a kind I actually like. And besides, I was shown a way of bending over the ball the viewers didn’t get to see.
Just as well, as it would have gotten the channel shut down real quick.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 45

So that was it for the gym class. If nothing else the reviews were great and at least two people wished they could get Kim as a personal trainer. I've no idea how that would work out but will attest her motivational skills are amazing.
Since I was officially in charge of grooming her co-host it was my duty to remove the tracksuit and brush the wig that had gotten pretty messed up making the previous episode. Oh, and redress and reinflate Barbara, of course.
As I reattached the hose I noticed Kriss handiwork was functional but far from perfect. After all, she's no plumber, and while it hadn't leaked before it sure did now. Not much, but enough to make me realize it would be best to leave the preparations to just before filming. In other words, I would blow the doll up while Kim was getting dolled up for the shoot.
I put Barb in a rather nondescript tan sweater ahead of time, though, and went back to polish the script. Not much to do there as that too was pretty bland, at least when it came to visuals. I was questioning whether the show had been better when Kim was alone in the studio.
But speaking of that, another Superheroine Sunday approached and as I'd sworn to feature some character that didn't have an encyclopedia's worth of backstory I remembered Mandy had talked about a certain resemblance to 'Vixen'. Only problem - it was Alex who had it. And then I had a thought that would please most everyone involved. Well, except Kriss who would sulk for a week if I didn't let her do something in that vein.
At any rate, I suggested a double feature which would show Lexi hadn't been entirely ditched in favor of Barbara and also put one of Kim's preferred looks to use. She could be Black Canary if she still felt like it. Heck, I'd make her just to save myself some writing. Pretty much a requirement for a twofer.
Unsurprisingly they were both game and I sent them off to the costume shop while I got started on the research, with Kriss as company/walking ATM. She'd enjoy watching the fitting and I told her to recount any interesting aspects later. I was sure they'd find something useable as those heroines aren't iconic enough to warrant exact outfits. Well, maybe the canary but her style could be put together in most any mall. Getting it bundled would save time though.

It was nice to be alone with my thoughts and my coffee and the anti-frustration balloons I'd taken to using. Blowing up a cheap, plain 10-incher sure beats counting to ten - and if I'm not back to my senses by the time it's full, going on to bursting usually does the trick. Making the Batgirl script had caused four pops. For comparison, this one scored none if you don't count the accident during the second reinflation. So that was progress - or a more sensible choice of subject.
I was actually just about finished when they returned and I'd wondered if they'd been dressed like the characters all the way home. They were in costume as they entered at any rate and the sight struck me dumb.
Kim wore the all-important fishnets with a black bodice and choker under a short, dark blue faux-leather jacket. As I recognized the black biker gloves and clasped boots, plus her hair having been sprayed into an incredibly volume, I gathered those touches had been added just now. Lexi, however, could have come straight from the store. Her one-piece bodysuit with a flared collar was open down to her abs and I was pretty sure it had sturdy soles to make shoes unnecessary. I'd expected an all-orange one but this had quite a bit of black details, which I thought worked better. The rest leaned towards the yellow end of the spectrum and went amazingly with her brown skin. I wasn't sure the separate sleeves that only covered her forearms were needed, especially with the golden bangles around them, but they did make her biceps stand out even more. As for her main accessory, the metal fox-head amulet was surrounded by three fangs separated by beads on either side and she had a loose belt in the same style as well. But the hair really sealed the deal. Her natural curls brushed the right way would have looked fine but she'd gone for a new wig as well - no doubt Kriss' idea. It might have started out as a thick pixie cut, but now it was tousled into something wild and feral that wasn't tempered one bit by the neat if chunky hoop earrings. I might actually have been drooling.
"Holy crap, you went all in."
"Is there any other way?" my wife said.
By then I had already risen to admire and touch and they both very obligingly turned to make every angle available to my gaze and wandering hands. Their inviting faces were more suitable for the bedroom than the comic pages, though - but quite appropriate for my office too.
I turned to Kriss, who'd plunked herself down in my chair and started to absent-mindedly reinflate the balloon I'd been using. After all, she was kinda focused on us.
"Whaddya say we see how easy these are to remove?"
Kriss took the latex from her lips.
"They already worked me over", she said and I noticed she was looking a bit flustered. "But knock youself out!"
She finished the loon, tied it off and put it on the desk.
"I'll run a bath" she grinned. "Come join me when you're done."
With that she was gone and Alex grabbed my shoulders to push me into Kim's embrace. Her hands went around me from behind and started to unbutton my blouse while Lex kissed me so nicely it was good I had someone to support me. Nimble fingers opened my trouser button and zipper and I felt the fabric fall to the floor. Lexi ran her palms along my sides and as a hand slid down my panties I knew it wasn't going to be enough.
"I need you to fuck me. Fuck me so damn hard..."
She touched her amulet with a sly, promising smile.
"Gonna channel a stallion for you."
She strode off and I was spun around for some kisses from Kim while we waited. She unhooked my bra and reached for the balloon Kriss had left behind, running it gently over my nipples while licking and blowing on them. Soon they were as stiff as they'd ever get and I hardly noticed the time passing before Lex returned wearing the huge, black strap-on we only occasionally fell back on - when merely 'big' wasn't enough. The dark material glistened with lube and while I was already soaking wet a little extra wouldn't hurt.
She dropped to her knees, removed my underwear completely and gave my clit a good suck on general principle. Then I was thoroughly womanhandled, lifted off my feet with Lexi's hands beneath my butt and Kim's under my thighs. I don't know how Lex managed but the next moment I felt the enormous shaft enter me, slowly but surely gliding all the way in. It was glorious. It didn't feel like being split in half, more like filled up and expanded beyond all reason. And yet I wanted more. I wished she could pump it even bigger, or even better, blow it up inside me. But our inflatable dildo wasn't wearable and besides, the pounding I got was far more intense than anything she could have done with that one. Kim had handed the loon over to me and I put it to good use stroking every sensitive part of myself it could reach. I heard a soft voice against my ear.
"Great idea", Kim whispered. "I need a fuck like that too."
I could only groan in return. "Keep doing your thing and I'll return the favor."
She did, and the sheer intensity of it all soon had me yelling out loud. My fists clenched and I more felt than heard the balloon burst in my grip, releasing all of Kriss' breath at once against my skin. Lexi pounded away until I was shrieking from coming so hard you wouldn't believe it, but she kept going until she was absolutely sure I'd had all I could take. I was more or less a wet rag when she withdrew and gently lowered my feet to the floor. The rest of me followed and I spent a good while just getting my bearings back.
I swapped places with Kim and while I worried about keeping her up Lex handled most of the lifting - I was mostly a supportive cushion, which gave me plenty opportunities for shoulder kisses and dirty talk while her back slammed against me over and over again. It was wonderfully violent and while Kim buckled a bit from the onslaught she still called for "harder" and "faster". Her breathing grew shallow and rapid and just when I thought she was gonna come she managed a request:
"Thumb in my ass...now!"
I didn't think, just gave mine a quick suck and stuck it in. It was like digging my nails into a balloon - Kim virtually exploded with a loud scream, kicking her legs straight out and nearly making Lex stumble from trying to hold her in place. She did stay put until the spasms had passed but then I reclaimed my hand and let her collapse in peace. Her eyes were rolling in her lolling head and I’d expected her to say just about anything else than what she actually did.
"Feels weird. I asked for something odd - just for me."
"Wouldn't call it odd”, I said. “And you're supposed to ask just for yourself when that passive."
“I was already getting so much…”
"Kimmy, one of these days I'm gonna have to make you lie back and just take everything I wanna give you. But it might take a week or so, just for a start.”
“Without getting something in return?”
"I love getting it from you. But I love giving it to you as much. Win-win both ways."
Lex shook her head. "I had to keep telling her for months and I'm still not sure she believes it."
"Well, she'd better start soon. You hear that, Kimmilly? Thinking you have to give to get is an ongoing blonde moment."
Kim sniffled and to make it less awkward for her I switched subjects. "Speaking of blondes, maybe we'd better check on the other."

Kriss wasn't in sight when we reached the bathroom, but that could probably be attributed to the mountain of foam rising out of the tub. There was a whoosh that made it shift just a little, but not even she can blow that much out of the way. So she parted it with her hands and sent a double palmful in our direction with a powerful puff.
"Come right on in."
We all slid into the warm water, but since my darling idiot wife had gone overboard with the suds we had to get rid of some. Luckily I think I'll never outgrow playing with bubbles. They soon dissipated as we used the soft mass to make false hair and beards and blowing pieces of it at each other, revealing not only Kriss in all her naked glory but a full complement of vinyl pillows freshly inflated for us. We sat back, gently caressing whichever parts came into reach and recounting our most recent sexual escapades.
"Seems you drew the short end of the stick" Kriss told Lex, who shrugged.
"Don't mind being on that side."
"Thought someone might so just in case I brought a pool toy."
And that was one of those moments that make me suspect me and her have some kind of mental connection. While I had merely thought about the inflatable dildo, Kriss had actually located and taken it with her. The thick rubber fairly shone in the dimmed lights and a huge smile spread across Lexi's face.
"Ooh, give it to me, baby."
Kriss courteously handed Kim the hose and the valved mouthpiece we'd replaced the bulb with, drew a deep breath, and dove. Alex gasped with delight at whatever she was doing down there, then threw her head back and closed her eyes. Soon Kriss emerged from the depths and licked Kimmy's neck.
"All set."
It was Kim's turn to inhale and as she blew hard into the mouthpiece Lex grabbed my hand and squeezed it so hard her knuckles turned white. I noticed she'd done the same with Kriss and that's all I had time for before Kim sent another exale through the thin tube.
"Fffffuck yeah!", Lex grunted and her wife allowed herself a smug grin before blowing a third time. She had to struggle to force the air in, going red in the face before deciding she'd done all she could. Alex seemed to think it was plenty, though, and writhed in pleasure between us. Kim put the hose aside and plunged headfirst into the water. This time there wasn't a gasp but yelp, which turned into a series of moans that grew shriller by the minute until Lex cried out and shuddered as she came. And then Kim had to come too - up for air, that is. Panting, she reached for the mouthpiece and opened the valve, making Lex visibly relax. But instead of pulling the contraption out, she closed it off and handed it to me.
"Wanna do the honors?"
Did I ever. I blew her into a splashing frenzy, then went under the surface to finish the job. Through the watery haze I saw Lexi spread wide and tilted my head to avoid the engorged toy. Finding and taking her clit between my lips I sucked and sucked and sucked, being rewarded with wonderfully distorted noises from above. As my chest eventually began to burn, my lungs aching with need for a refill, I got such a reaction I knew I had to hold out for just a little longer. I managed to avoid blacking out and came up to greedily gulp down all the air I could get as I deflated the thing still inside Lex, who shifted in between Kim's legs with her breasts for a pillow. While she was busy with that, my own wife provided me a few extra breaths straight from her lips. I handed her the mouthpiece and went into presenter mode.
"Ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale - a performance by none other than Crystal Mackenzie!"
Kriss grinned and made a couple of mock bows from her waist.
"Thank you, thank you. This will be a little number called 'Orgasmic Scream in G Major.'"
Without further ado she blew as hard as she ever could through the undersized hose but there was nothing small about Lexi's response. As Kriss sent a second tremendous breath into the plastic cup a dark leg shot out through the foam on either side of us, passing over the side of the tub. A rain of soapy suds fell gently over Kriss' third inhale and this time she blew so hard and so long I started to fear something was going to burst. And then the yell came. I don't know if my lover had been right about the key but it was music to my ears nonetheless. There was so much pleasure in that noise I felt a throb in my own nethers, and when it finally subsided Kriss gave the dildo a firm but gentle tug until it came loose and floated to the surface. It was incredibly swollen and I marvelled at all that had been able to fit. Lex, who'd been reduced to a quivering heap in her mate's arms, gave a long, happy sigh.
"Shit, if this is what cosplaying gets me I should take it up full time."
Kriss brought the toy back to a less intimidating size.
"You can have this any time. Just say the word."
She took me in her arms and I nuzzled up against her neck.
"Amazing. You didn't even have to go down."
"I'll do it tonight instead."
"Counting on it. And then I'm going to blow this thing up inside you. Blow it up until you come."
She smiled. "I might hold you to that."
We both stuck to our word. I have a pretty good track record keeping promises made in that tub.

Fun as that was, we still had episodes to shoot. Doing the run-of-the mill one was no problem at all and Barb stayed nicely inflated through the filming. Though I did mention the leak to Kim and she said if worse came to worst I'd just have to keep blowing into the hose for the duration.
That made something go 'ding' in my head. The idea had potential, but I would have to work it over in my head a bit first so for the time being I sent Kimmy away to get ready for the main event and have her wife do the same. Then I went for coffee and told Kriss if she wanted to watch it was now or never. She only made a small detour on the way and I was pretty sure why. I'll just quote what she said once she'd finished admiring the fully costumed stars.
"Your fans will be pretty disappointed if they don't get to see you blow up any balloons in that."
I'd had the same idea but thought what we'd planned would be plenty. Though that would be for everyone - giving the members an extra treat couldn't hurt.
Kriss started digging through the huge bag of assorted 12-inchers she'd brought.
"Black and orange, maybe?"
"Too Halloween", I said. "But not bad if you add some dark blues and yellows."
She managed to find two of each, which would be perfect in terms of balance. Kim and Lex set about blowing them up, striking poses as they did, trying to look as powerful and heroic as possible. While Lexi's muscle tone spoke for itself, Kim managed to convey strength by 'accidentally' blowing her blue balloon to burst. It might actually have been one as they did go for full necks. I'll give her the benefit of doubt.
Kriss had fortunately scrounged up spares and tossed her a replacement from out of shot. That one got inflated to full capacity without further incidents, and I was glad to see Lex being professional enough to not follow her example. She just raised an eyebrow at the bang, shaking her head as she tied off her own yellow loon.
They made two fans of four balloons each, the long necks extending from the tacks sticking them to the wall. I'd left cheat sheets on the desk in case any of them needed notes to keep up, but as usual I told them to improvise as long as they got the facts moderately right. And so the episode began.
“Welcome to another Superheroine Sunday On the Air! I’m Kimber, and today Alexis Riley joins me for another teamup. You get a point if you’ve already guessed what we’re gonna talk about.”
The outfits could leave little doubt to those in the know, but they introduced their characters anyway before starting. Kimber got to go first.
“Black Canary started out in 1947 as a sidekick to a guy called Johnny Thunder, but soon took his place and readers got to learn her secret identity - Dinah Drake, a black-haired florist who used a blonde wig and a costume to disguise herself and fight crime.”
Lex whistled. “She wore that in ’47 no one would have watched her face.”
“Might have been a teensy bit more conservative. Tights instead of these.” Kim lifted a hitherto hidden leg to show off her fishnets before putting it back under the desk. “She was popular enough to become a member of the Justice Society of America, brought in by their 'secretary' Wonder Woman. Maybe Dinah was supposed to sweep up and do the dishes.”
“Clean out the ashtrays”, Lex suggested with about as much sarcasm.
“Fetch the super-slippers”, Kim said. “Anyway, she mostly appeared in her own feature, along with her boyfriend Larry Lance, who was a private dick. Detective.”
“Not a fellow florist then? How surprising.”
“I know, right? But in the sixties things got very comic booky with the Justice Society working together with the Justice League, their counterpart from a very similar dimension. Dinah's now-hubby Larry gave his life to save her and she decided to start fresh on the other world. She also somehow got hit with cosmic radiation and gained her signature superpower - the Canary Cry, a sonic scream.”
Lex looked puzzled. “Technically all screams are sonic.”
“Yeah, but this one could break stuff. Anyway. Dinah began dating fellow hero Green Arrow and became sort of a feminist, scolding him for his attitude and calling her 'his' girl. She also helped his sidekick Speedy get treatment for drug addiction.”
“Fitting name.”
Kim snickered. “And then the writers must have taken some drugs of their own, since they felt a need to explain why Dinah hadn't aged a day in thirty years. Turns out she wasn't really Dinah Drake, but her daughter - Dinah Laurel Lance. She'd been born shortly after the marriage, cursed by a wizard and put into Sleeping Beauty mode until a cure could be found. When her mother was fatally injured by those cosmic rays her mind had been transferred into her daughters now-grown body, so the scream power really came from the curse. Oh, and everybody else had their memories altered to fit the new story. Comics!”
“Is it just me”, Lex wondered, “or is that a bit iffy?”
“Yeah - and like so many other things that too was fixed in that huge Crisis rewrite we've talked about before. Anyway, now Dinah Two's parents were still alive and her power was the result of a mutation - a third vocal chord. Practically normal by superhero standards.”
“Better than mommy-in-my-body at least.”
“For sure. But the attempt to give her a 'modern' costume failed so hard a later cover showed her literally burning it. She was still dating Green Arrow, though, but years later she lost her powers in a torture session, dumped him and vanished from the pages.”
“Just gone?”
“Basically - it was the nineties. If you didn't have twice the regular number of muscles and wore at least seventeen tiny pouches the writers had no clue what to do. It was all about looking” – Kim struggled not to giggle – “cool.”
She snuck a good look at the script. “Anyway, of course she got her powers back since a new boyfriend turned out to be Ra's Al Ghul, who's got magic pools that can bring people back from the dead. A li'l vocal chord injury should be nothing for them. He must be one hell of a master of disguise too since he's more than old enough to be her dad.”
“Maybe she's got a thing for older men?” Lex said. “Arrow's too, right?”
“Yeah - but not that much. Of course she went right back to him when he was no longer inconveniently dead, because status quo is god. She went on to get even better at martial arts from training with various masters and join Batgirl in the 'Birds of Prey'. You know, since she was crippled and needed someone who could actually move to be part of adventures.”
Yeah, yeah, I know Babs called herself ‘Oracle’ at that point but we’ve been over it already.
Kim managed to round off in one go. “Since then she's had time to be the leader of the Justice League, marry and divorce Green Arrow, have her powers retconned into coming from alien DNA, been retconned herself to be her own mother again - and back to a confusing mess of backstories that frankly don't matter since they evidently can change on a whim. What matters is that she's really good at martial arts and when that's not enough can scream people across the room. And seems to have a thing for bearded archers in green since she always gets back with whatever version is the current one.”

Alex took over. “I think I actually followed all that. Vixen’s got less history since she appeared much later - after it had become acceptable to feature heroes of color. 1978, to be precise, but only in an employee-only edition of cancelled comics. Readers couldn't buy her adventures until 1981, and she's never really had a solo career. Though she's been a part of many teams, and sometimes brought in to help more famous heroes.”
Kim looked just a tad smug. “Like now.”
“We’ve got equal screentime. But shame about Vixen, because her powers are pretty wild. She was born as Mari Jiwe, the daughter of the local priest in an African village. He owned the magical Tantu Totem” – she touched the pendant – “which his evil half-brother, General Maksai, wanted and after the Reverend was elected President of Zambesi the general killed him and stole it while Mari fled to New York.” Lex glanced at her papers. ”Hope I got the names right. She took the surname McCabe - maybe it had been her mother's? Not sure. Mommy had been killed by poachers long ago. Hope it wasn't for her fur.”
That was an ad-lib, one that nearly made Kimmy break. Lex allowed herself a tiny smile before going on. “Anyway, since comics are basically modern fairy tales her beauty was enough to make her a supermodel - though without superpowers. She used her new wealth to travel the world and on a visit home came across her uncle and stole the amulet back. And that's basically all of her origin story.”
Kim nodded approval. “Nice and simple. How's it work?”
She indicated the necklace and Lex got on the subject.
“Oh yeah, the totem was given to the ancient warrior Tantu by Anansi the Spider - a famous trickster god in some real life mythologies. It can give the wearer all of the powers of the animal kingdom when used to protect the innocent. The general wasn't into that so Mari could kill him when he went for it again. It works by channeling the powers of an animal of choice - she doesn't physically change, just gains the strength and abilities of it. And she can swap critter whenever she wants. The downside is that the wearer picks up a bit of their mind as well and might become a crazed beast under the influence.”
“Sounds a bit like booze”, Kim said.
“Yeah, but even stronger. Ironically, she's been shown using 'the stubbornness of a mule' to resist mind control. Just a non-fighting example.”
Lex put the script away. “And like the Canary she was part of the Justice League, and she too dated a color-coded colleague - the Bronze Tiger.”
“Has he animal powers as well?” Kim wondered.
“No, he’s just an martial arts master. Didn't last though, neither him or the league stint.”
Kimber leered. “Maybe she expected a wildcat in bed.”
Lex didn’t take the bait and simply shrugged before going on. “For a time she was with the Suicide Squad - usually made up from villains - in order to avenge some friends and actually killed a drug kingpin. Had the usual heroic conscience crisis. And like most every other DC heroine Vixen became part of the Birds of Prey - where female characters end up at the earliest convenience. But she was soon back with the Justice League, until kicked out by you.”
Kim pretended to be shocked. “Me? Why?”
“Well, not by you personally, by Black Canary - since the totem had started to make her copy and steal the abilities of her colleagues. It was eventually shown to be the work of Anansi himself, trying to make Mari an even better hero to protect the world from change. He saw the error of his ways and put everything back the way it was.”
“Status quo is god”, the blonde repeated.
“Yeah, thankfully Vixen hasn't changed much - the biggest retcon was giving her the amulet for safekeeping when first fleeing the country. Not sure a change like that counts. Heck, even turning her mother's killer into a ruthless warlord wasn't really a change - he was just moving up in the world.”
“Did she kill him?”
“No, but she whooped his ass good and left him at the locals' mercy. Might have worked out the same.”
“So”, Kim said. “Would you say that’s about it?”
“I guess”, Lex conceded. “That’s all I know at least.”
“This thing about heroes working together – do they ever work against each other?”
“Probably, and then someone turns out to be misguided.”
“I was thinking more about competing. Like seeing who’s the strongest.”
That got a grin. “Oh, I’m sure of that.”
“Whaddya say we do a bit of that? Just for fun.”
Lex looked suspicious. “Depends on what you have in mind.”
“Come with me and see.”
With that they rose and left. I shut off the camera as that part would be the last thing to shoot. They might not be in shape for anything else afterwards.
I congratulated them on a work well done and asked if they’d thought of a way to pop the studio balloons. Unsurprisingly, they had ideas and we set about bringing them to life for the members.

Anyone watching the uncut recording might have been surprised to watch the stars reappear in the same place they’d just left, but their purpose was soon evident.
“Better get rid of all the hints we were here”, Black Canary suggested.
“Shouldn’t take long” Vixen agreed.
“So how would you go about it?”
"I thought I'd get a bit catty", the dark girl said, touching her amulet and twisting her mouth into a snarl. "Meow."
Then she lashed out at the decorations, raking her nails over the nearest bouquet. Since she'd fastened pins to her fingertips the swipes had the intended effect and one by one the loons were torn to shreds. A piece of black latex even stuck to her pinky and she nonchalantly pulled it off. She looked at Kim.
"So what are you gonna do? Shout them to bits?"
The blonde scoffed. "Don't want to hurt your ears."
Instead, she lifted one leg and with an unbroken series of impressive high kicks broke all four balloons with her boot heel. It was an impressive display of balance, and even if it wasn't exactly dancing it was evident all her training had paid off. She didn't even put any holes in the foam panels, which was pretty remarkable. Once the popping was done the girls decided to go find something more of a challenge, which fit nicely with what we'd planned next even if it technically came before, editing-wise.

Yeah, yeah, I've held off long enough. Just wanted it to be as much a surprise to you as the viewers - unless you've been watching the show in which case you already know.
Anyway, the stars strode into view in front of the dark backdrop, apparently straight from the desk. Kim said she had just the things to settle the argument and brought in said props from out of frame. It was something that had been requested more than a couple of times - a pair of sturdy, pink hot water bottles. Lex nodded approval.
"I've heard of those being used for power demonstrations. I suppose you want to see if I can blow one up until it bursts?"
"No - to see if you can do it faster than me."
With that the blonde handed over one of the flasks and removed the stopper from her own.
"Fair enough", her dusky mate said and uncorked hers as well.
Kim made an addition. "Oh, and we'll need these too. It's not like we're invulnerable like Supergirl."
She took out two sets of plastic goggles. While they would spoil the view a bit we'd done our best to find as transparent a model as possible that'd still be strong enough to stop snapping rubber, if need be. If you're gonna try it at home, you really should get some too.
Lex accepted the eye protectors. "Yeah, and she'd pop it in one puff. Not fair."
"Downright unfair".
Having donned the gear the ladies still looked real good and I was happy the glasses didn't detract much. In fact, they added an air of 'let's get dangerous' that fit the theme.
"I'll count to three", Kimber stated. "We start after that. And no cheating and channeling an elephant."
"Won't need that to beat you."
The playful jibes and smiles made it clear this would be a friendly contest, although there was a touch of rivalry to it. I remembered how competitive they'd been just a few years ago and thought a little throwback might make for good TV.
"Ready? One, two, three!"
The inhales were almost simultaneous, as were the first breaths blown in. The rubber began to expand and the openings pressed firmly against the shining faces made sure no air could escape. Even if you couldn't hear them inhale through their noses you could clearly see it happening from the way their chests and shoulders rose before bending forward and sinking as the next lungfuls were expelled. Up and down they bobbed while blowing the containers bigger, bigger and even bigger.
The bottles now looked like improvised balloons and I wished there was a good way of sealing them, so I could have my mates inflate a few as decorations for a party. Just to passively show off their strength to the guests. Granted, they weren't as festive as the customary colorful orbs, but an impressive sight nonetheless. And the way they kept growing from the frenzied blowing was awe-inspiring - Kim looked so wild and wanton I had another flashback to our days at The Stone. She'd often made a similar impression on the stage and there had been fleeting moments when I'd wanted to date her so bad. If I'd ever been in lust with any of the Angels it was her, albeit only in brief increments. These days I perved just as hard on Lex and her dark brow glistening with moisture reminded me of what an effort they had to put in. The bottles had passed the halfway point and the girls' cheeks were stuck bulging out from the perpetual pressure. I hoped the viewers would appreciate the struggle, especially since they for once wouldn't have to pay extra to see it. Then again, if I could do it that well I too would want to show it off. I had once blown one of those to pop on stage and was still not entirely sure how I'd managed. Kim and Alex were doing just fine and Kriss was grinning at the sight. So was I, come to think of it. There was something very appealing about the fierceness they displayed, and as they headed into the final stretch I wondered who was going to win. It wasn't exactly scripted.
But there's no getting around Lex being the stronger of the two and this time it was plain for everyone to see. With a thundering boom her bottle broke, instantly reverting to its original size. What could be seen of it, anyway. A large part had been sent flying to smack into the wall, and this might be a good time to admit Kriss and I were watching from under the desk, behind a sheet of acrylic glass. Probably a bit overcautious on our part but I didn't want to take any chances. Besides, it felt safe and snuggly, in stark contrast with the violent spectacle in front of us.
Kim kept on blowing as hard as she could and it wasn't long before her flask ruptured too, the noise at least as loud as the previous report. She pushed the goggles onto her forehead and looked at what remained in her grip.
"Mine broke harder", she said.
"Wasn't about that", Lex countered. "I won."
"This time."
"Was a good race. Practice with ten or twenty more and you might just beat me."
Kim raised an eyebrow. "Bet I could beat you hand to hand."
"Let's go find out."
"Sure." Kimber turned to the audience. "If you enjoyed the show, make sure to like and subscribe for even more."
They said their goodbyes and the episode ended. Now, some may rebuke me for turning off the camera but the make-out session that followed wasn't exactly in line with our usual output. The kissing that ensued was so ferocious you'd think the girls were trying to eat each other's faces and it sure looked tasty. Me and Kriss stayed only long enough to be inspired trying some of that on our own in private, and spent a very pleasurable hour trying out variations on the dish.
Later that night I made good on what I'd had to agree with to get Kriss to sign off on the contest and filmed her blowing a bottle to pop for her fans. And always the perfectionist she demanded a retake just in case. But that was only fair, since the first shoot had also used up two props.
While I don't think anyone had believed 'Iron Lungs' Mackenzie unable to do that, her demonstration of prowess sure earned her quite a few nice remarks. But not even 'Iron Lungs' Mackenzie can manage that feat sitting down and I had to stop her from even trying. It was good enough as it was, with her in a casual white blouse and blue jeans forcefully inflating a bottle beyond the bursting point with even greater ease than the others. Not that it was easy for her, but she was far less winded afterwards. And since it was no longer in use, I made her put on the Canary outfit just for fun and games and she was all for it - especially the latter.
In fact, over the months I'd had her try out most of Kimmy's more interesting looks for that very purpose. I'm not entirely stupid.

For once, no one had much to say about my character summaries. They had plenty to say about the contest, though. Making it part of the regular show made sure no one had missed it and the response was very encouraging.
'You won't believe how much I've wanted to see that', as one viewer put it. Some others said they'd always hoped Kimber would get around to trying her hand at a hot water bottle and having Lex do it too was a more than welcome bonus for them. The requests for more weren't exactly unexpected and I thought having her interview Crystal Mackenzie could make for an interesting episode at some point. And challenge her on general principle, of course, though maybe not with bottles.
Speaking of friendly competitions, Lexi's renewed driving lessons had spurred Kriss on to get her own education over and done with and she returned home beaming with pride after finally earning her license. She took me on a ride all around the county and since she did the wheelwork, I blew up the car bed. Though we didn't even try to break it but simply made love in the back seat, with me on top stroking her hair while telling her how proud I was of her finally finishing.
"I trust you'll take the others on spins like this."
"Oh, I will", she sighed. "Specially if they end this way."
"Kim's promised to blow both the mattress and you", I whispered. "And I can't have her do better than me. So hurry up and come so I can go down..."
I was mildly amazed she could drive us home safely after all that. And even more amazed she was in the mood for even more later. But that was all right. So was I.

[ChillinHaze]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

And here I thought you had put this series on hold to focus on other stuff maybe.

I always wonder if one would really have enough energy left to get frisky after blowing to pop a water bottle.
I'm already beat when having to pump up one of my inflatable toys with the hand pump xD

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 46

I keep saying there's no pleasing some people for a reason. Sure, the hot water bottle battle was duly admired, but the remark about us clearly favoring D.C. characters was uncalled for... if accurate. It's just that most of the recognizable Marvel ladies appeared to be part of the X-Men, and from what I've gathered that's more like a soap opera - with almost undecipherable character histories. Black Widow would do, of course, bland as she may be. Or She-Hulk, but I had a hunch Lex wouldn't agree to being painted green. Kim isn’t muscular enough.
There'd been that Captain Marvel flick, but she seemed a bit similar to Supergirl. I'd have to look into that - maybe even watch the thing.
On the subject of space movies Kriss once again proved her uncanny knack for timing, as she revealed a project of her own. Turned out she'd been in contact with a local group of film makers - well, technically a company. She'd asked them about recreating the alien hunt from 'Dark Star' and they'd managed to come up with a couple of shooting locations - one generic spaceship interior set and an air duct in a decommissioned factory. The latter was perfectly safe, they claimed, and had been used in another production already.
"You don't have to do a thing, Chellie! I even asked them to make a script."
I didn't take my palm from my eyes.
"Why. Just...why?"
"It's too funny not to! We already got the critter, that's the hardest part!"
I knew Kriss had been in a few ads and music films, so I couldn't question her experience. Still, I was pretty damned sure she was wrong. But hey, if she'd hired professionals to do the tricky stuff it wasn't entirely inaccurate.
Kim was of course very enthusiastic. Fact is, the day we made the following episodes she was so distracted preparing the decorations I decided we might just as well go without. I mean, we're supposed to be pretty good with balloons and the ones she blew up didn't exactly look professional, varying too much in size to be suitable for anything but a casual party.
"All right, Kimmy, get it out of your system. Do a popping dance or whatever."
She needn’t be asked twice but started to twirl and shake right away, grabbing the sub-standard loons one by one and hugging them to pieces with short, sharp noises. But I could tell she was still giddy after that.
"Might as well do a subscriber special while we're at it."
I handed her a big (well, for a given value at least), beautiful bright blue balloon and told her what would be suitable. She nodded eagerly and set about explaining to the camera.
"Guess what! I've got a special project coming up and can't wait! I'm so full of excitement I'm about to burst! I really don't know where to put it all - maybe into this?"
She took a deep breath and inflated the balloon as quick as you please, puffing hard to get rid of the excess elation. She sure had a lot of it and soon the rubber was more pear-shaped than round. That didn't slow her down in the slightest and with a thundering crack the latex snapped and sent pieces all around, momentarily blowing her flowing tresses back. Kim barely seemed to notice the explosion but acknowledged it anyway.
"Whoo! But better it than me, right? Afraid I can't tell you more at the moment, but keep watching and you'll find out in a few eps."
Then we went on to shoot a couple of those, and her high spirits were evident. She even addressed Barb very good-naturedly on a couple of subjects and didn't snark in the least about the lack of replies. That kept the rapport (or lack thereof) from seeming like old hat, but the schtick was getting stale for sure.

It wasn't long afterwards we set out to do something entirely fresh, though. I'll refrain from describing the HQ of Briardi Productions, our meeting with the staff and the brief tour of the place. Suffice it to say it was a bigger operation than I'd thought but probably puny by industry standards. Still, they had everything one could possibly need for the making of movies. Cheap ones, at least.
While me and Kim sat down to discuss particulars with Morton French, their self-described jack-of-all-trades, Kriss and Lex went wandering to check what went on behind the scenes. They were particularly interested in the sound department, of course.
Can't say it was a fascinating talk so I'll just mention the results. They would prepare one of their sets for a few hours of filming the next day and the day after that would bring us to the factory for more of the same. We went over the shooting script and I found they'd covered about everything. In fact, I'd decided to do as little as humanly possible as Kriss had told me I wouldn't have to. At the end it was suggested we'd take a look at the first location and we followed our host to one of their several small soundstages.
The fake spaceship looked fairly generic, like something out of a low-budget sci-fi show.
"We built it for a 'Trek' pastiche", Mort explained. "'Starway', if you've seen it."
Since none of us were big on web productions we hadn't, but I made a mental note of checking it out - if nothing else to see how the set appeared as intended.
Anyway, the corridor backdrop would be pretty ok for our purposes and the few necessary props were already in place. Mort asked if we'd brought the co-star of the segment and naturally Kriss had it. As good a time as any to see what she'd been up to.
Fittingly, she was in the prop department and at my request brought out the limp thingamajig that looked really remarkably odd straight out of the bag. Kriss realized that too and started looking for the valve.
"Lemme get it in shape."
It was not like I could have stopped her if I wanted to, but a demonstration might be in order. As she swiftly blew it up to size I was reminded it was actually pretty big - would probably reach up to Kim's knees even in her boots. Okay, so maybe that's not exactly huge, but in my mind it had been quite a bit smaller. Kriss' breath made it swell up all the way and then she simply kept blowing until the painted plastic skin was far too taut to be even vaguely plausible. When she plugged the valve I spoke up about that.
"You have to leave some wrinkles."
"Just wanted to try this", she said, and bounced it off a wall. The rubber feet made it flop to the floor in a rather sad way. I sighed.
"Would be a great time to pop it."
The sarcasm wasn't lost on her, but she was sure the crew had the right stuff to repair it. Still, she let out enough air to give the surface a more organic appearance.
"It's just like the real thing", Mort said. "Who made this?"
I told him it had been a gift from an anonymous fan and he said whoever it was must have some experience with the materials. Somehow I didn't doubt that.

We left the alien with the prop master for safekeeping and went to look for Lex. We found her in what looked to be some kind of exercise room with a large padded area in the middle of the floor. I guessed it was used for practicing stunts and that was exactly what she was doing. At least it looked that way. She'd taken off everything but her tank top and cargo pants and circled an opponent on top of the mat. His body was nothing to be sneered at but at that moment I couldn't focus on ogling - I was far too curious about what they were up to. The t-shirted hunk lunged at Lex, who spun aside, ducked under his arm and before I knew it he was flat on the mat. I'd never seen her in an actual fight before and was pretty damned impressed. But when he rose and asked for a repeat it dawned they had agreed on what should happen beforehand and were just working on pulling it off.
Nevertheless, Lexi did the same thing even smoother and the guy seemed satisfied. At that point our mate called us over to be introduced to Travis, the resident stuntman. His grip was firm as we shook and the hand felt uncommonly large. I noticed we hadn't been the only ones watching as few more people were sitting around taking in the action. Must be break time, or something.
"We were just playing around with some throws", Travis explained. "You sure have a knack for those."
"Thanks", Alex said. "Been practicing for some time."
"Can you throw a punch too?"
"Pretty sure I could if I wanted", she said.
"She can", Kim nodded and if I hadn't known about the Incident I might have worried what they'd been up too. I knew Kriss could, but she wasn't exactly trained.
"Let's try that", the stuntman said. "Show me a right hook, real slow. Just aim it about here."
He pointed at his left cheek. Lex obliged with a tight swing from her shoulder, one that would have been hard to see coming at the right speed. Travis turned his head away just in time to avoid being struck.
"Good. Again."
She was made to do a few repeats, picking up the pace a bit each time. Eventually she was told to aim just in front of her opponent's mouth and after putting her fist in the same place thrice in a row Travis said they could test it at full speed.
"When I cock my head it means I'm ready."
Naturally, the three of us had long since retreated to a safe distance and so the wallop looked hella convincing. The recipient was flung off his feet and only the lack of sound hinted he was faking it. It got some cheers from the small crowd but Alex wasn't grinning in triumph or laughing demurely - she was in a stance that clearly said 'come at me again' and looked so cocky and confident I almost wanted the fight to go on. She certainly did, and Travis wasn't averse to continue the sparring.
"No one else here today who can do this", he said.
So we left Lex to pick up some more ways to pretend. Self-defense training is all very well but I don't suppose you get to see many over-the-top maneuvers there. Must be fun to try the movie take on hand-to-hand. Someone would be getting some mouth-to-mouth later on, that was for sure.
Overall it was a very informative trip, and Kim got to do some rehearsals in preparation. So did I, for that matter, as Kriss had kindly informed the director I would be puppeteering the alien. Luckily it wasn't required to do much more than shuffle its feet a bit and bounce a little in place, but still. She'd promised I wouldn't have to do a thing.
"I'll have your ass for this", I sneered sotto voce.
"Promises, promises", she grinned.
I felt a right idiot lying flat on my belly and trying not to be seen behind the spherical prop. Taking direction was a first for me outside the bedroom, but I've enough experience with role-playing to go along with most anything. Making a beachball move felt relatively tame. I'd done worse with bigger ones.
We felt pretty confident we could pull off this little caper as we headed home. The script wasn't complicated, most of the work would be up to Kim and bad acting would actually benefit this kind of film. All in all, not Kriss' worst idea.
I still had her ass, though.

We went back the next day and found the set bustling with activity and equipment. I'll spare you the particulars as everything went pretty much according to plan, including multiple retakes of everything. We'd already met most of the crew except the fella doing the makeup, who had a distinct metrosexual vibe about him without coming across as camp. That's not prejudice but an observation - as if a woman with three wives would be bothered by something like that. His name was Glen, and both Kim and Lex seemed to hit it off with him as they happily chatted away while he fixed the heroine's face and hair. I was more concerned with making sure the set was in order, but there was nothing missing on that front. Kriss had wandered off on some errand, and I hoped there’d be no more surprises in store for me.
Anyway, eventually everything was ready, we got into our places and hearing the director (Fred Fitzroy, who went by 'Fitz') call for "action" felt almost surreal. In fact, I think I'm gonna stick to describing the actual action.
Now, if I'd written the script I'd included a starting scene of Kimber inflating the alien, but since its anatomy was unclear it was probably better to start in medias res, like the more experienced writer had. We could make a behind-the-scenes clip of that at home instead.
As it was, the whole thing began with the Galactic Heroine looking for the creature she obviously knew was on board.
"Where are you, little fella? I've got something for you to eat." She wiggled a nondescript food bar. "If you eat, that is."
The ball proved uncooperative and had to be prodded, but as she approached it made a lunge at her legs, courtesy of me. It took three takes to get it even halfway right, and then a few more.
Kim jumped back. "Whoa! Easy there!"
The alien waddled closer and if you think beachballs are fun to play with you've never crawled behind one while lifting false feet below it. After a couple of semi-charges it made for a side corridor and Kimber followed, but by then it was out of sight. Some clever shooting from different directions made it look like there were more backdrops than the two small sets they actually had, and the end result was the heroine getting 'attacked' some more before following the critter into some kind of duct. It was after all a riff on an existing scene.
In there a longer chase segment would ensue, but we needed a different location for that so it would be shot later. Instead Glen mussed up Kim enough to make her look significantly worse for wear and very fed up with the whole thing as she reappeared from another direction. Giving up the pursuit she found a wall cabinet, took a flaregun-like thing from it and loaded it with a very obvious syringe. You just knew what would happen next.
Sure enough, when she came across the living sphere and fired the tranquilizer at it the only result was a pop and a whoosh as the deflating critter flew back and forth through the room.
Or would be, when the editing was done. For now we just let the air out a little at a time and threw it across the corridor at different angles. Then Kriss cut in.
"Can we try this while we're at it?"
She produced a punchball and swiftly inflated it until it was about as big as the alien, or maybe even a little larger. Now I knew where she'd snuck off to - someone had helped her spray-paint a similar pattern on it. That also explained why it started off so big and wrinkled - the dye kept it from contracting completely. After Kriss had blown it up it had an almost but not quite passable likeness, but as it would just whizz past real quick it would hardly be noticed. Maybe the lack of feet could be overlooked too.
"Why not?" Fitz shrugged and called for camera and action.
Kriss released the loon and I must admit it sputtered and wobbled quite interestingly, as the paint had done away with much of the elasticity. Although the flight pattern and speed left something to be desired.
"Let's try it again", Kriss suggested, drew a deep breath and blew it into the rather tragic excuse for a rubber pouch.
Four and a half puffs in the tragedy turned to comedy as it burst in her face and I bit my tongue so hard I had to make a noise. So much for keeping a straight face.
Kriss looked mildly surprised. It hadn't been a particularly impressive explosion, more of a sudden paf, but anyone with half a brain should have seen it coming. It was actually kinda amazing she'd managed to inflate it once.
"Ah well, worth a try", she conceded while the script girl tried to regain her composure.
Kimber, for her part, looked more than a little taken aback by the results of her marksmanship skills. Having her inspect the popped remains would've been sad so that bit had been replaced with her trying to following the thing with her gaze, losing sight of it and shrugging.
“Guess that’s one way to reach escape velocity.”
She took a bite of the food bar (really some chocolate crisp) and strode off-camera. Wouldn’t call it a poignant ending but pretty much in character.
I was relieved when Fitz wrapped up the shoot. I'd noticed Alex had been curiously absent and figured it was to avoid distracting her wife. But now she reappeared, with a distinct change in appearance - her right arm had been painted a vivid green. Glen’s work, no doubt.
"Can I make a suggestion?" she asked.
Everyone involved agreed it was a nice addition, and so a stinger was shot with a close-up of the flattened critter being picked up by a very alien-looking hand. What happened next would be up to the viewer.
"That'd be where the question mark appears after 'THE END'" I said, and Fitz chuckled.
"The menace of the Ball-Beast continues" he said.
Then we discussed where to meet the following day and to be there well ahead of time. We'd rehearse each shot right before filming it and there shouldn't be too much trouble.

And there wasn't. The old factory had been gutted to house a whole slew of small generic sets, but we'd only make use of an old ventilation duct which was so roomy I began to wonder what it had been used for. For the moment it was supposed to be an elevator shaft and now it was Kim's turn to lie on the floor and pretend to stand and climb on small metal ledges that had been placed in advance. I was happy that professionals handled both the angles and the props. My job was simply to stand outside and display the alien through a tiny gap in the wall. (We did get that behind-the-scenes footage of Kimber inflating it, since it was kinda needed for the shoot.)
Of course an elevator had to make an appearance and was played by a flat sheet of metal with minimal embellishments, rolled along on wheels towards the camera. It even opened in the middle so Kim could climb through after some dubiously convincing acrobatics. Then we moved on to a fake interior which had probably been used for a lot of lift scenes and didn't look much like belonging on a spaceship. I appreciated the addition of having Kimber - recovering from the ordeal - notice the mirror and take a moment to adjust her hair before going back to panting.
And that was basically it. I've kept it as short as I could and speaking of that hoped Kriss hadn't ruined out finances on such a brief thing. I asked her on the way back and she told me not to worry, as part of their compensation had been her agreeing to score another production for them. So the cash loss wouldn't be too big. Also, Lexi was happy about both the sparring and getting some pointers on body paint.
"Might come in handy for Halloween."
I didn't tell her it might come in handy later too. Kim kept the costume on during the drive home as she claimed to be too puffed out to change, but I could tell she was really pleased with the experience.
However, as soon she was inside the door she made a real hammy act of not being able to keep on her feet any longer, hobbled forward and fell flat on her face. I say flat, because she pretended to be losing air as well. And then I took up directorial duties.
"Quick, to the med bay!"
Or rather, bed bay. Lex picked up both my intentions and her wife and carried the incredibly limp form all the way there.
"Administer oxygen, stat!"
Kriss feigned worry as the just-promoted nurse located the thigh valve, opened it and blew. Nothing much happened, even after repeating the procedure a few times. I ordered the blonde assistant to take over and take turns while I tried some mouth inflation. It took our combined efforts and quite a bit of swapping around to finally blow the patient back to life, but what she did after being revived would have changed her moniker to 'the Galactic Slut' in anyone's book. Filming that could have earned back all we'd spent on the other movie. And speaking of spent, that’s how I felt when she was done. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. But spending the night all together was worth any asking price, and yet we did it for free.

You might have noticed our sleeping arrangements vary a bit. As you probably realize Kriss isn't at home every night as she sometimes have gigs to play, and these days Lex often joins her. Just a reminder she has an ongoing career pretty far removed from 'On the Air'. Now she revealed she'd taken on quite an unusual job come the new year.
"Caporal High wants me to hold a workshop with their marching band. Sounds pretty fun!"
"Going back to school?"
"In a way I guess. But not quite yet."
She also had a more imminent task - brightening a local Oktoberfest with a little alphorn playing, like she'd done every year for some time. She'd even convinced me to accompany her - literally - once, but I wasn't in a hurry for a repeat performance. Not even Lex wanted to do it, but that was just because there's no way of making her look even slightly Bavarian and she didn't want to stand out. We did go to the event of course, but strictly for leisure. Kim had advertised it the day before, with her hair in braids and dressed up in Kriss' dirndl. The theme was of course the history of the celebrations, and while Barbara’s costume hadn't been as suitable at least we'd found a green Tyrolean hat for her to wear.
Kriss was for once a good source of background info. Too bad she insisted on deciding the backdrop as well. It wasn't that blue and white balloons wasn't suitable. It wasn't the number needed. It was the job of fastening them to approximate the Bavarian flag - and when you compare the angles of those lozenges with the roundness of balloons, you'll understand why 'approximate' is putting it kindly. But since my wife promised to handle the arrangement, I had no problems helping her blow them all up. Kim and Lex joined in too, as Kriss had decreed a wallful of loons. So what if she'd invested in a plastic grid? She'd still have to place them.
I admit it was something that would probably come in handy on other occasions, and it wasn't too infuriating having to inflate every balloon to the same size. We had the technique down pat by now. Except Kim and Alex couldn't resist seeing who could blow one up the most without it bursting from the edges of the measuring hole cutting into them. I didn't check who won, not even when Kriss joined in. I was too busy knotting, which was far more taxing than filling them up. I heard the pops, though. Hard to miss those.
The end result wasn't too shabby. And covering the entire frame sorta hinted at there being more loons than we'd actually inflated. All that remained was for Kim to get her hair done while I stuffed Barbie into a dress. I took the opportunity to point out the weakness in the system to Kriss.
"Let me try", she said and began to blow the doll up. It wasn't long before I had to cut in.
"That's enough."
"Thought German girls were supposed to be sturdy. Besides, wanna see if it gets worse with more pressure."
Unflattering stereotypes aside, it bore checking out. Sure enough, the almost unnoticeable leak became, well, noticeable if you overinflated the dummy. Kriss said it should be back to the usual in a bit and if I got frustrated with the bad craftsmanship she'd be more than happy to take over the doll duties. That might be going a bit far, but as cameo appearances went it was one of the subtler. I chuckled at the not-too-serious thought of adding 'Barbara inflated by Crystal Mackenzie' to the credits just this once.
Once Kim returned Kriss suggested she'd have a big glass of beer on hand to drink from, but we didn't have any in the house and besides, if we had to do reshoots it might eventually affect her performance. But apple juice would be a good substitute look-wise, especially slightly carbonated, and Lex could fix that no problem.
While she was gone we worked out another detail. There'd been some debate on what to do for the subscribers – Kriss thought some brass music would be on point but I said neither the style or a solo performance would be. Then she said we could all do a traditional song together and I told her she should have thought of that earlier and save it for the next year, hoping she would forget again. I love her, but draw the line at oompah.
Kim suggested the inflatable pretzel float from the mystery box would fit the bill.
"I could blow it up and bite into it. Pretty funny way of popping it!"
And a bit stupid even for us. Blowing it to burst would be hard to motivate but was sure to go over well, although it could take a while. Kim volunteered to try that for her fans, though.
“I’ve something that might fit the occasion”, she told the viewers. “Ta-daa!”
She shook out the folded pool toy and found the nozzle. Without further ado she put it between her lips and blew hard, a whooshing noise the sole indication of the inflation having begun. Soon some swelling could be noticed and it looked a bit like she was blowing up a very large and very twisted swim ring. It was basically what you’d get if you cut off an elongated inner tube and folded the ends back and across, although these had been molded into each other to make the upper surface more even. Kim looked very fetching blowing into the seasonal treat, what with the thematic attire and everything, and the plastic dough was rising nicely. Probably not the only thing that would.
Kriss grabbed my shoulder and leaned in to whisper something that evidently couldn’t wait.
"That's not a pretzel - it's a puff pastry!"
In spite of myself I grabbed a paper and wrote Kim a message to say something to that effect. At first I wasn’t sure she’d seen it, but as the prop grew stiff she paused for a look.
“Whew! Talk about puff pastry!”
She went on to give it a couple of really exaggerated ones and Kriss was almost jumping in place at having her idea approved at once. What can I say? I did marry her, after all.
I’d seen Kimmy blow enough inflatables to bursting to be certain she could manage this one as well, but it didn’t go without putting up a fight and the pretty blonde was red in the face with incredibly bulging cheeks before she’d finished. Then the twisty tube split open with a poof and Kim gaped at the rapidly sagging plastic in her hands.
"Aw, no. Guess I'll have to find another background..."
Since we'd neglected filming the assembly of that, the clip we'd just shot would have to compensate a bit. I was sure the other scene would be requested too, but maybe not as much as it would have been without the popped pretzel.

Lex had returned well in time to watch and give her mate a congratulatory kiss that served as preparation for the shoot too. I’ll summarize it because there were frankly too many filler facts, but Kimber greeted the audience with raised glass and a cheery “Prost!”, taking a gulp before announcing it was time for Oktoberfest. She said it originally was a Munich thing, which had started with Crown Prince Ludwig’s marriage celebrations in 1810 and been so popular they had been repeated the following year, minus the wedding, of course. And so on. Immigrants and impressed visitors brought the tradition with them, albeit on a smaller scale, which over the years has grown into the institution we know today. The locals call it Wiesn, short for Theresienwiese – Theresa’s Meadow - where it is held. The name of the festival itself is actually a bit misleading, as it starts in mid-September and ends when October has barely begun – on the first Sunday of the month. The one Kim was plugging was about halfway through and Kriss’ appearance was merely one of many to keep the interest running.
The traditional opening is a parade and the Lord Mayor formally untapping the first beer barrel – which will be followed by countless others. Six Munich breweries are allowed to make a special Oktoberfest beer, and Kim listed them all. Apologies for her pronunciations. She also mentioned a few of the tents and traditions at the original site, noting that it varies a bit around the globe. It is after all the largest folk festival in the world, so local adaptations are only to be expected. As mentioned in passing above, brass bands are common. Oh, and the regulation size beer is a ‘mass’ – one liter. Which is 33,8 fluid ounces, so you can get by fine on just one. That time I went along to play with Kriss I had one for courage and one in celebration of getting through it and I think I made a brave attempt on a third. My memory’s a bit hazy. I hear a good waiter can fill one in a second and a half – and carry a few in each hand – which Kim mentioned while musing how much spillage that causes each year.
More trivia followed, notably a description of the traditional dress as exemplified by Kim’s outfit and Barbie’s hat. I would’ve put the doll in lederhosen if we’d had any, but there are some things no lady should have in her wardrobe. There’s also a code about how women tie their apron strings according to marital status, but I doubt anyone knows it offhand these days. Our presenter went through it anyway while noting how it’s fallen out of fashion along with apron usage. She told the viewers that these days there's also the Rosa Wiesn - a sub-festival for the queer community, another sign of times a-changing. In a good way.
While Kimber’s ‘beer’ hadn’t been quite a full mass, she’d been sipping it throughout and ended with a final admonishment.
“But remember, don’t go by car if you’re planning to sample the beer – or at least don’t drive it yourself. And if you’re wondering, this isn’t the real stuff - and I can prove it!”
She produced a small breathalyzer, said it was a handy thing to have when unsure and proceeded to blow hard into it for the required time, not letting up until the beep. The zeros were shown to the camera and Kim wrapped up by wishing everyone a happy Oktoberfest.
Technology sure marches on – the first such tests collected the breath in football bladders (and later balloons or plastic bags) that the suspects had to inflate. It struck me that must have made it pretty awkward for looner policemen - or they might have considered it the best part of the job. I also realized we hadn't dressed Kimber up in a police uniform yet, which at least Lex would be sure to appreciate. I just knew she'd insist on carrying a nightstick in that case, for very non-official use later. Another argument in favor of the idea.
Anyway, she didn't use any blunt instrument to disassemble the backdrop but the pin of her pretzel-shaped brooch. She went through the balloons quickly and methodically, noisily disposing of them all in what could be read as a demonstration of German efficiency. In reality it was more of a desire to be done as soon as possible to get ready for the second shoot of the day. Once more Kriss blew up Barbara for the show, after I'd changed her into a more neutral outfit.
"Found the leak", my wife announced. "Not sure I can make it better, the way we bend the hose will just open it again."
"Close enough for rock n' roll", I said. "Just means we'll have an excuse to retire her if needed."
It's always a bit of a letdown doing a regular show after a themed one and this was no exception. While Kim looked fab in her striped top and necklace with wooden charms, the content wasn't too charming. Not bad, just bland. Nevertheless, such fillers make the rest seem all the better. Lex took the opportunity to go shopping because the special basically called for beer with dinner, and the sausages and potatoes she served with it were tasty and topical too. Maybe even better than the fish we tried at the actual fest, though their brews beat any bought at the store. Side note – we found out that one mass is about enough to make Kim find the notes while singing, but by two she forgets the words. A delicate balance.

Gonna jump ahead a bit so you get the reactions to the edited and posted sci-fi pastiche, which we received surprisingly quick. For something done just for a lark it went over pretty damned well, but then again the picture quality and lighting was outstanding. I'm afraid it got quite a few members hoping for an actual series about the Galactic Heroine, which frankly won't happen. Though a few brief vignettes might be in the stars - who knows? The teaser at the end had enough people speculate about whose arm it was and it turned out at least five people had read the story since they declared it just had to be Nixy's and were clamoring to see the rest of her. Preferrably while blowing the poor critter back up. I had no doubt it would be exactly what she'd do - after all, she did have a history of reinflating collapsed aliens. Kim's headcanon of them being a couple seemed beyond likely and I caught myself wondering how often Nixy would blow Kimber up - either out of necessity or as foreplay. And that of course led to imagining them boinking. If Lex ever got all the way into character it wouldn't be enough to watch - I'd have to do her myself. The thought of having a green-skinned space babe was surprisingly exciting and it might not be such a bad idea after all to try talking Lexi into that. Kim could probably manage without too much effort. And then we could make that She-Hulk episode before washing her off.
I clicked to open more comments and saw someone had written 'Maybe it's Gamora?'. A quick search later I found another reason to give Lex that paintjob. If we could get her anywhere near Zoe Saldana's look in 'Guardians of the Galaxy' the Marvel fans would just have to get off my back.
That was for the future, though. In the meantime we would have to make do with her natural color... which I wouldn't change for anything.

[Harley]

Re: ON THE AIR with Kimber - a Blowgirls serial

Episode 47

The upcoming month caught me in a slump - October is so associated with Halloween I found it hard coming up with themes that wouldn't fall short in comparison inside my head. Kriss was in a similar quandary as she'd more or less decided on a spooky version of 'Happy Birthday' but was told by Lex it didn't really fit the tune.
"What do you suggest?"
"Anticipation", Lexi said. "Fall's about over soon and then everybody's just waiting for winter."
I've said it before but that's not a huge change in Nevada, though growing up back East both me, her and Kim had experienced such feelings. Regardless, we agreed anticipation was very birthday-ish.
"Wanna try doing it?" Kriss asked.
Lex balked at first but agreed on giving it a go. It was sort of a relief I wasn't the only one who'd have to work on coming up with new stuff.
Being masters of procrastination in household matters we hadn't even thought of taking the outdoors tub inside. As the water could be heated it would be no trouble at all leaving it there, though even with the lid on it was a giant leaf trap and would get in the way for the raking someone would have to do at some point. But Kim decided it should get a proper sendoff for the season and insisted on a hot tub show. I put my two cents in.
"Barbie can't really co-host, unless you use her as a flotation device."
"We could weigh her down."
"Don't think it would look good. Or be reliable. And who knows what pool water will do to her skin?"
"Come on, Cherry, camgirls leave loons in their tubs all the time! And if she pops we'll just die laughing."
I was happy she didn't seem too attached. I'd just found out their lifespan was indeed limited, as Betty had inadvertently managed to make Dolly burst during an intense session. It had apparently been pretty traumatic, made ten times worse by her being just about to come.
"Made me jump", Mandy related. "She just went bang and then Lizzie was lying there whimpering. Had to hold her for a while to calm her down and then she wouldn't let me blow the new one up past the base shape. Which wasn't as fun for either of us."
I could picture it, Bets happily humping away before falling on her face. Poor thing - both her and the doll.
"I fixed it of course", Amanda said. "Magic fingers, you know. But she was real gentle with me all night."
I could also imagine that. If the copy could explode, what were the odds the original couldn't? At least it must have seemed that way to Elizabeth.
"Had to tell her I thought it pretty funny and wouldn't mind at all if it happened again. So now she's got a full-blown plaything again, but it may be some time before she dares to go all in."
"She's got my sympathies."
Mandy reassured me it would be comedy gold if Barbie exploded on the air and admitted she was waiting for it every episode.
"Maybe, but don't hold your breath."
"Never", she said, and with that we left the subject. I was reminded of it though as I put bathing shorts and a white tee on Barb in preparation of the shoot. We'd agreed to tape her to some kind of float in the tub and that of course meant I had to remove the hose completely after blowing her up. The T-shirt was loose enough I could make it easy on myself and just lift it before putting my lips directly against the valve. It had been a while since I'd inflated her that way and it felt oddly intimate filling her with my breath from up close.
Then we had to pick a ride for her. As Kim planned to straddle a PVC dog with all four paws resting on the water surface for balance, the doll should be seated in a similar way. The only toy in that format left in Kriss' box was a very silly-looking camel, but placing Barb between the humps would help keeping her in place. There were handles on the sides to stick her hands into as well, so we wouldn't need much adhesives. The creature itself reminded me of the much larger dromedary Jo had used on the stage and her ire at having to blow it up in a hurry after some prankster had pulled the plug between acts. It had been more than a year before I found out the culprit, although there'd been little doubt in Jo's mind. I'd guessed too, of course - and right, as it turned out.
While I puffed up Barbie Kriss helped blowing her float full of air, and being her went on 'til there was no crease in sight. But as the doll weighed next to nothing there'd be no extra pressure on it, so for once it was safe. I combined the two inflatables as best I could and set them afloat, rigging the camera while waiting for Kim to get ready. I'd nixed a tight bathing suit for her since it wouldn't be fair to Barbara and she settled for a tank top and cutoffs. While she'd worn similar stuff before I mused we'd gone through the better part of a year without her ever repeating an outfit - and the way some of them kept getting sold there was no chance of them being used again.
She came up to the tub with the deflated canine in one hand and I giggled at how puny it seemed compared to the gigantic one folded away in the pool house. If Kimmy blew that one up for her viewers she'd get enough fan mail to keep her ego inflated until Christmas - she was still receiving compliments on what she'd done with Blowser. But as the huge doggo wouldn't fit in the tub it wasn't an alternative. Instead she puffed the more beach-friendly version into shape in a way that was sure to please the members and somehow got onto its back without dropping into the water. Lex spun Barbie in the right direction as I started the camera and counted Kim in with my fingers.
She got off to a pretty good start, welcoming everyone to her final tub scene for the year, adding while she of course could keep doing them it wouldn't feel fair to viewers in colder parts and maybe look a little out of season anyway. Unless they lived on the southern hemisphere of course, but in that case she'd already been out of season for a while. So she went on to talk a bit about things happening in the world outside her garden, mentioning a particularly successful concert over in Chicago featuring the return of not one but two big names from the eighties. There'd been a bit of a scuffle due to crowding but no serious injuries.
And then Kim fell off. The sudden splash would make a fantastic blooper and I was sure we were gonna laugh at it in the future, but right then I didn't feel like it. Getting her and her clothes dry enough for a reshoot would take a bit, to say nothing of Barbie's shirt. Kriss was completely unconcerned about that and had already doubled over while Lex rushed to help fish her wife out. Needless to say I called for a break.
When in doubt, blame the dog. Kim claimed it was real tricky to keep her balance on it and while she was still wet Kriss and Lex assisted her with inflating a couple of alternatives to try in the pool. She said the sea lion Alex blew up for her was better which made Kriss ask if there was something wrong with the crocodile.
"Too long and too wide."
That's Krissie for you. Trust her to pick an oversized inflatable just to show how fast she can fill it. Now, this might be where you think we took the time to boink the blowups to pass the time, but I'll have to disappoint you and say we went for coffee instead. We're just 95% wanton, but we're working on it.
In due time we managed to finish the shoot and remove all the props from the tub. Barbie was deflated and stripped but instead of letting the air out of the other pool toys Kim knelt down in front of the dog that had tipped her in. She grabbed its head and pressed her face against it while speaking in that inane voice reserved for pets.
"'Oo's been a bad boy? That's right, 'oo have. Mommy's gonna see just have bad a boy 'oo can be."
She kissed its nose and picked it up to be carried off. Lex followed, taking the sea lion along.
"If you thought she was a good rider you ain't seen nothing yet."
They vanished to god-knows-where or some convenient bedroom, take your pick. And I was left alone in the poolhouse with Kriss, who was holding out an empty swim ring to me with a fornlorn, puppy-dog expression.
"Chellie? Could you blow this up for me?"
Of course I could. Happy to, especially as she kept watching me with the most grateful, adorable look which banished any memories of having to help my little brother at the beach. This was completely different, and my lover smiled so sweetly when I plugged her toy I was sure she wasn't planning on bathing even as she stripped down to her skivvies. She got onto the inflatable lounger, recently refilled nice and tight, and pushed down on the ring until it was folded in the middle. Then she straddled it and as her bra hit my face I couldn't get out of my own clothes fast enough. I grabbed the croc filled with her breath but found it impossible to hump without frustration - it was simply too wide. So I rose and pulled its tail up between my legs to rub against while putting my other hand to good use. Watching my wife enjoy herself bouncing on the tube with closed eyes compensated for a lot and when she beckoned me over I found her lips were about level with my chest...a fact she shamelessly capitalized on.
For a fleeting moment it struck me I was masturbating with an inflatable crocodile and just as it was about to get weird I was hit by how nicely Kriss was sucking my tit and all reason went out the window in a wave of utter pleasure as I went all in on the job. The puffy plastic pressed so good against my pussy while I tickled the clit I couldn't hold back long and when my lover took a breast in both hands and tried blowing it up I more or less popped straight away. As soon as could I was all over her and soon she did the same atop the creaking ring, drowning out its noises with her own.
I'm sure there were some corny endearments but the thing I remember doing was telling Kriss it felt kinda odd having used the croc the way I just did.
"It just says don't use as a flotation device - pretty sure there's nothing about that. Besides, if you're not supposed to float on it, what can you do with it?"
"That, it seems."
"Exactly! Let's try something else they don't recommend against. How about I rest my head between the humps of that camel while you fuck my face?"
It took some propping up and arranging, but it could be done. And it didn't feel weird at all. In fact, it felt awesome.

As we found the kitchen deserted me and Kriss took it on ourselves to make dinner. I'd barely brought the pasta water to a boil before Alex appeared in a military cap with her trumpet in her hands. She took up position by the door and began to play 'Taps' as Kim solemnly marched in, carrying the crumpled remains of the dog and the sea lion in front of her. She slowly crossed the floor and ceremoniously dumped the PVC in the trash before saluting the can as the song finished.
"They fought valiantly", she stated.
Kriss regained her composure and asked if the quality had been that bad.
"The opposite", Lex said. "Put up real resistance."
I couldn't help myself. "As befits a navy seal."
"Yeah", Kim giggled, "and once it went I naturally had to put the dog down the same way. I'm actually a bit sore."
"Lemme guess", I said. "In your privates?"
And that's when Kriss hit me with the lettuce and Lex took over K.P. Just as well, really.

But speaking of her prowess, I did actually have a point in describing Lexi's stunt fight. About a week later she got a call from Travis, acting as a go-between. His friend, who'd been watching their antics, was a casting scout visiting from L.A. and he thought Lex would be perfect for a bit part in a movie that was under pre-production. He'd shown some footage to the director and the star and they were quite interested - the thing was a bit of a homage to the blaxploitation films of old and even if it was an indie project it would be starring Dexter Jonez, who'd be doing it because he loved the idea of an action film in that style. They'd hadn't found anyone with the right build and skills to play a sassy female assassin yet, at least not anyone willing to work within the tight budget, and wondered if Alex would be interested in auditioning.
Needless to say, she was. It was agreed she'd go there the Thursday after next and Kriss would be more than happy to take her. The whole thing worked wonders for her take on 'anticipation' and she finished the arrangement the same night. It called for two trumpets and the balloons she selected at random (blue and pink) were blown so tight you couldn't help but anticipate a pop at any moment. The main musical effect came from brief pauses before the 'to you' part, which you certainly knew would come but dragging it out just a bit did add some tension. Certainly better than what I could think up and any deviation from the standard technically counted as a new arrangement. Lex and Kriss wore leather jackets and jeans for the taping and Kim followed suit for her segment. Her balloon was purple and she too carefully inflated it to the max, with no accident in either instance. They're supposed to stand up to some overinflation anyway.
After that the resident musicians vacated the studio so Kimber could do the next couple of episodes in the same session. We wanted to get ahead on the posting schedule and make a few in advance. By now you know the drill so let me just say there was nothing particularly interesting about the shoot except what came afterwards. Me and her, for a start.
She went straight from the seat into my arms and the kiss I got was so sweet and hot I knew she could use a little something extra. I put my hands on her ass and pulled to indicate I wanted to lift her and with a small leap she put her legs around my waist. Kim moaned in genuine anticipation as I carried her to the bed and got down on top, still tightly encircled. After five or six gentle thrusts it was clear our trousers had to go, but that was quick work and I took the opportunity to grab a few eleven-inchers leftover from the current decorations. I handed her a red one and she immediately began to inflate it next to my head while I began moving my hips again. With my face buried in her hair and kissing her neck I couldn't see it fill up but heard everything real close - the sounds of her breath rushing into the balloon and the latex stretching out amplified beyomd belief. Now and then the hard exhales were replaced by sighs and gasps and there was the rubbery wheeze of air being released between puffs. I felt her entire body tense up as Kim struggled to push more air into the apparently overblown balloon and then she froze and sorta relaxed to the parping noise of a loon flying off through the room. All the tension was gone and I felt almost offended, as if she'd farted on purpose. It sure hadn't worked wonders for her either.
"Why'd ya do that?"
A hint of anguish passed over Kim's face. "Wanted to protect your ear."
I reach for another balloon. "I can handle that and more. Now do it - all the way!"
We both started over with even more determination than before. There were still pauses and releases, but less of those as the sounds of pleasure grew intense and when she went stiff all over I counted four shrill, shallow balloon-less breaths before a giant gasp she blew out as hard as she could, her calves squeezing the air out of me as well. A bang and a scream rang out and the stinging in my ear was a small price to pay for the triumphant feeling at having made Kim shudder all over so magnificently. Her arms went around me and I got smooches all over my face before she sighed against my cheek.
"You know I come so much harder when I blow..."
"I know, Kimmy-coo. So finish the rest of these while I blow you..."
I passed the last of the batch into her palm as I went down and once again heard more than saw what happened. I didn't need the visuals for my hand to slip between my legs and move in concert with the soundtrack as balloon after balloon were blown to bursting not too far away. Now there was very little holding back, with sharp snaps and pops followed by delighted groans that matched the twitches and thrusts below and in front of me. I hoped she could hear me as well as I told her the absolute truth.
"Love licking you. Love how you taste. Love what it does to you..."
I got another explosion in response but the whine afterwards was heartfelt enough to count, heating me even more as my fingers kept on working. The next and final balloon was blown up with powerful puffs, Kim pausing between each to enjoy herself, savor the process and save it up for the right time. Eventually there was a long, violent exhale that failed to break the balloon and the almost desperately quick inhale that preceded the next blow proved she was right on the edge. I gave her clit a hard, tender suck to finish her off and Kim ended the balloon with a blast and a shriek that shook me to the core, forcing me into a final, frenzied rub to get off just as good before collapsing next to her.
Not much can or need to be said after something like that but Kim managed a few words.
"Want you in my bed..."
So we gathered up or clothes and hand in hand stumbled off to their bedroom, where there were blankets and pillows and space enough for a proper afterglow. Not that we needed the space. After all the snuggling and kissing and 'I-love-you-so-much' we could handle we got around to talking about the shows we'd just done and what to go for next. I thought it a good time to bring up the idea that had been rattling around in my skull.
"Been thinking about the leak - maybe we could do something with it. Like Barbie ruining a serious occasion by slowly deflating."
Kim gasped. "Been thinking the same thing!"
"Really?"
"Course! That'd be fun! And look fun."
"Well, that settles it then."
"Serves her right", Kim said. "No fun having to match her limited wardrobe. Wanna dress up more. Wanna...get a bit formal."
I read her grin. "As in wearing I-sure-know-what?"
She nodded. "It's been months after all. Have you tired of it?"
It had only been that long on the show, but I still had to reassure her. "No, never! Just don't wanna tire you out."
"Like that's gonna happen."
I caressed her neck with a single finger. "To be honest I kinda miss it."
Kim's eyes lit up with mischievous delight. "Is this a wardrobe emergency?"
"No hurry. But I won't protest whenever you want wear one, to tease or to please. I love everything you do to me."
"Got so many things to do to you!"
She leaped out of bed and went for the closet. And I didn't protest one bit. Not once in the next hour.

With the regular stuff edited and done we were free to plan ahead a bit. Kim was adamant the deflation scene should be something of an event while I wasn't so sure. I thought having it happen out of the blue could spice up an otherwise unremarkable script. She, however, seemed to have thought up a setting of her own. Or as she put it:
"It would be funnier in tuxes. All formal and dignified and then... pssssssss." She began to giggle.
I smiled at the image. "Good point but we don't have any in her size."
"We don't?"
Turned out we did. Kriss had scoured the second-hand listings for appropriate stuff and among other things scored at least a shirt, waistcoat and jacket that'd fit. The cut was a bit out of style but no matter. I asked to see what else they'd bought.
Kim relented. "Oh, all right."
The ties she produced looked vintage, being hand-tied and all. But they couldn't be that old, even if Kim's idea had been inspired by days of yore.
"I looked it up", she said. "Did you know that like ninety years ago the radio presenters at BBC had to wear black tie to work? Even if no one could see them?"
"Sounds plausible. Guess they thought it would put them in a suitable mood."
"Precisely! Let's do something along those lines."
"I think I just got an idea."
And I had. The last time they'd worn suits hadn't been very serious, so alluding to that would set the stage nicely. And set up the joke as well. We decided to shoot it while our mates were in L.A. so we'd have something to cheer them up with if the audition was a bust. And when that day came and we'd seen them off no time was wasted in setting up the scene.
I confess it wasn't my first time dressing up an inflatable doll in that kind of finery but Barbie had never worn something as dapper. The shirt was the only thing that had to be buttoned around her deflated curves - the rest would be easier to put on when she'd been filled with air. So I finished that job and went about blowing her up. The creased white cotton straightened out neatly and I closed the valve to add the waistcoat and jacket. Afterwards I blew her up some more for good measure and heard the fabric creak as she expanded to full size. The collar was nice and tight around her neck and I deftly tied the bow only to realize I'd made it uneven and had to start over. Eventually it looked just right and I brushed her hair to make look it as proper as her attire. Good thing the desk was in place as she wore nothing below the waist. It didn't matter and would help with the handling of the hose anyway.
Kim, however, was fully dressed when she showed up and my heart skipped a beat. I don't think I'd ever seen her look as professional and sexy at once. The black tuxedo jacket was closed with a single button, leaving much of her severe waistcoat visible, and the bow tie was immaculate at the top of the white wing-tip shirt. She wore a folded handkerchief in the breast pocket and her hair was done up and tied back just enough to keep any strands from falling into her face.
"Not bad", she said at the sight of the doll, echoing my thoughts in some small way. "But its missing something."
She took out another hankie and folded it to fit in Barbie's pocket and match her own. As she sat down next to her I bit my lip at the sheer ridiculousness of the scene. If this worked it would be hella funny.
But that was a big 'if'. See if you can spot the thing we hadn't thought of. I'll give you a hint - with me regulating the airflow behind Barbie, who was going to see if it looked right for the camera? Answer: No one.
"We'll just have to do a bunch of retakes and see if any works", Kim shrugged.
I agreed it was better than nothing while kicking myself for not seeing the problem at once. Setting up the lights and angle was child's play in comparison, but we had to make do. Then I got the recording rolling and took up position behind Barb. I told Kim ready when you are and she straightened her coat and tie a final time before addressing the viewers.
"Good afternoon and welcome to 'On the Air'. I am Kimber and as usual I am joined by Barbara." She acknowledged the doll's presence with a small gesture. "It has come to my attention that our last attempt at a news broadcast has been derided as 'unserious' and 'cheap prop comedy'. These impressions will have to be rectified. I can assure you that this time there will be no silly allusions or lame visual aids - only good, old-fashioned reporting. Let us begin with a look at the situation on Wall Street. Investors claim to have seen a decrease in..."
Here I took my thumb off the hose and with a discreet hissing Barbie began to lose air. A glance upward showed her head nodding forwards and as the shoulders began to sag I nudged Kim, who pretended to take notice as she finished her sentence.
"Excuse me."
She picked up the hose and very pointedly reinflated her colleague before plugging the hose and putting it out of view, then went on as if nothing had happened.
"The cause of this sudden drop is hitherto unknown, although economic advisors maintain we can expect increased inflation rates in the near future."
That particular bit was just about certain. I heard the rustle of Kimber turning a page.
"In international news, rumors concerning the fate of the 'Lusitania' have surfaced after more than a hundred years. The British ocean liner went down in 1915 after being struck by a German torpedo, taking nearly twelve hundred passengers and crew with it. The long-standing theory has been that the sudden loss of buoyancy can be attributed to the masses of water rushing in causing the steam boilers to blow up."
It was here Kimber realized a more recent loss of pressure was in progress and watched the proceedings in silence for a second or two.
"Pardon me another moment."
The reinflation was repeated and while Kim still appeared stately and stern the situation was clearly starting to wear on her patience. She blew in long, measured breaths and Barb rose accordingly, but the final puff was delivered with some force and finality, taking extra effort since the suit had been filled to the max. I silently wondered what would happen if Barbie's body should burst inside a set of clothes - if the garments would briefly stay inflated or instantly fall down along with their contents. I hoped she wouldn't explode during this session or we'd accidentally create something we'd never, ever be able to top, even if it would be absolutely hilarious.
Kim put the hose away and resumed her coverage.
"Recent research claims that the British government knew about the sinking ahead of time but allowed it to happen to avoid revealing the extent of their espionage branches."
Or 'having their cover blown', but that didn't really fit with the archaic language I had Kimber use. She turned another page.
"On to sporting events. Yesterday, drama struck a cross-country race in Athens, Georgia, when noted runner Tatiana Smithers collapsed along the final stretch to the finishing line."
As the subject changed the just-inflated doll immediately began to lose air, more rapidly this time. It kept sinking and sinking without as much a glance from the presenter, who soldiered on through the script.
"Medics in attendance rushed to the scene and administered CPR, saving the athlete's life. It remains to be seen whether Ms. Smithers will make a full recovery."
At this point Kim discovered the flat pile of clothes next to her on the desk and took on an admonishing tone.
"I fear our program isn't going to plan. This has been quite a letdown, Barbara."
She picked up the hose and turned to the viewers. "I apologize for my colleague's behavior. If you despite her efforts still enjoyed the broadcast a like or subscribe would be much appreciated. I promise we'll do better in the future. A very good evening to all of you from us here 'On the Air'."
With that she seemed to forget the camera altogether and wrapped her lips around the tube, starting to puff away with her usual demeanor. The picture would fade out here, with Kimber in the middle of reinflating her co-host. But since we couldn't be sure it had looked good on camera we would have to do the whole thing over. And over, if necessary. I stole away to make sure everything could be seen in the viewfinder and by the time I got back Kim had blown Barbie all the way back into shape. I adjusted the doll's clothes and hid myself again, and so the retakes began.
All in all we did four whole run-throughs, with a couple of slip-ups for good measure. There was a lot of passing the hose back and forth between the hissing and huffing and puffing, and eventually I decided the moment of truth had come and we should go check what we had. Since there'd been no kissing in preparation I made up for it with interest after turning off the camera. Kim reciprocated at some length before telling me she thought Barbie could use some cuddles too.
"I don't think she's in shape for it", I said, indicating the deflated heap.
"I'll take care of that", the blonde beauty said, grabbed the hose and blew into it while looking at me very suggestively, completely at odds with her sophisticated attire. She detached the doll and pushed it into my arms.
"Give her a good hump. On general principle."
I hesitated. I was more in the mood for some shenanigans with the inflatress, but there was no reason this couldn't be part of it. I lay down on the mattress atop the plump figure and felt her give in slightly to my weight. I hugged her close.
"You sure are dressed to impress, Barb. A skirt with that and you'd be an amazing cuddle companion."
And god help me, I would cuddle her but good if none of my mates were around. Though she'd be a poor substitute for Kim, who kept urging me to go further.
"Go on, Chellie. I know you want to..." she teased.
"And now I know they can pop."
Kim shrugged. "So what? I think today she's proved she can't be trusted."
"Kimmy, if I'd been alone I might have gotten off hard with her. But it's kinda frustrating with you within reach, looking like that."
"Will this help?" she grinned, swiftly undoing her tie and opening her collar.
I sighed. "It's never been about the clothes." I gave the doll a good squeeze and nuzzle. "Barbie's nice, but I'm kinda anxious to see what we've got."
She gave in. "Me too. Let's go check!"
Watching in the cam wouldn't give a fair view so we hooked it up to the TV and my spirits sank about as thoroughly as Barbie had. The timing of the deflation and Kim's reaction were both way off, and only slightly better the second time. I wished there'd been someone in the room to direct, or better yet, handle the hose while I signaled. It was after all sort of my responsibility.
"There's still hope", Kim said as the first retake began. It was better, but not good enough. And Barb rose rather jerkily while being blown back up, which ruined the flow. Maybe it hadn't been such a great idea after all.
The third time luckily turned out to be the charm. By now Kimber's slight annoyance seemed natural, neither suppressed or accentuated, and the sinking and rising of Barbie felt about right. The second reinflation was even better, with the barely disguised exasperation increased just a tiny bit. And Kim dropping the act entirely after her final line and blowing the doll up in sheer frustration worked wonderfully - cutting that off was going to be a clear case of kill your darlings. We watched the rest of course but nothing was improved and their impeccable outfits had gotten slightly disheveled as well. That didn't matter, since we had a working take. A genuinely good one, no less. I grabbed Kim's face and kissed her with both relief and affection.
"Well done, love. You pulled it off."
"We did", she said. "I'm getting a bit hungry - why don't we go change for dinner? Or you do. I'll just freshen up, because I'll be wearing this."
I tilted my head. "So it's to be black tie?"
"Not necessarily. Why not put on a nice dress instead? Been too long since you wore one..."
Might be something to that, so I hit the shower and heeded her advice before heading to the dining room. What to eat wouldn't be an issue since we'd picked up a bowl each of those mix-your-own salads at a buffet on the way back from the airport, so I just set the table nicely, dimmed the lights and uncorked a bottle of white we both enjoyed. Which was a little premature, since it was some time before Kim showed up.
It was worth the wait. While her clothes remained the same, gone was the strict professionalism, replaced by elegant makeup and hair brushed silky smooth around dangling chandelier earrings. She'd must have spent ages on getting the eyeshadow and lashes right because I couldn't meet her gaze without going weak at the knees.
She kissed the back of my hand and offered her arm to lead me to the table, pulling out my chair and everything. But as with so many of Kim's acts, her romantic gestures were overdone and mainly served to tease. Not that I minded, but it's hard to make conversation when you can hardly breathe with excitement. So we said little as we ate, and just about when I felt I would have to jump her before it got awkward her phone rang and shattered the mood. I had a moment to wonder why she'd even brought the damned thing before remembering we were expecting news.
And they were great. The meeting had gone swimmingly and Mr. Jonez was so impressed by Lexi's stage presence he'd flat out said she was just what he'd imagined for the part. Her being sorta semi-demi-famous already didn't hurt either, and she more or less had the gig if she wanted it. Sure, it would include paperwork and maybe joining a guild, but those were mere details. What mattered was how excited both she and Kriss were about the whole thing and I can't say me and Kim didn't catch it.
"Go out and celebrate" I told them. "And promise me you make love like crazy tonight. Hell, fuck like crazy."
"Ahead of you there", Kriss grinned, "or you'd gotten the call earlier."
"The night is long", Alex said with glittering eyes. "You might find your wife a bit worn out when I return her."
"Miss you, honey", Kim smiled. "And don't wear yourself out too much because I wanna celebrate too."
"Practice on Chellie. Gonna be sad if either of you can walk in the morning."
We finished the call and then there was no awkwardness left in the room. Kim grabbed my hands and we started to jump up and down, squealing like schoolgirls.
"Being in a Dex Jonez flick!" Kim exclaimed. "That man's hot!"
I had to agree. There was something about those eyes and teeth shining in the dark face that had a seriously wicked edge. And he was buff too. I hoped the part wouldn't require too much contact since it would be hard keeping one's paws off.
"I feel like doing something fun! We forgot about the members!"
While they couldn't get something special every time, I nevertheless thought of something on the spot and after a quick accessory change I had Kimber in front of the neutral backdrop. I was sure no one was going to mind the upgrade in sexiness.
"When was the last time you used a handkerchief?" she asked the viewers. "Chances are never, especially at fancy parties. But they do add something, don't they?"
She touched the white triangle protruding from her pocket.
"Here's a way to add a practical touch. Suppose there aren't enough decorations around? Maybe the place is lacking a bit in ambience? No problem if you carry one of these!"
She pulled out the carefully folded 18-incher I'd replaced the fabric with.
"With just a few quick breaths you can add a festive air to any occasion. Watch!"
She inhaled deeply and blew hard into the balloon, which sprang to life in front of her face. Heavy huffing made it expand even more than her cheeks and at an amazing pace Kim inflated it to almost full capacity before tying it off and tossing it a foot in the air.
"If you happen to wear a more colorful tie you can match it for an even better effect! And should you decide it's not needed after all, it's easy to dispose of."
She dug her painted nails into the taut rubber and with a bang the large balloon all but vanished. Kim folded the largest piece down the middle and stuck it back in place with the crease up. It would almost pass muster as a pocket square, at least from some distance.
"Ta-da! Just a simple party tip to keep in mind. 'Til next time!"
I'd barely turned the recording off before she picked me up and spun me around.
"Let's dance, Cherry!"
And that's just what we did back in the living room. Some quick turns across the floor brought Kim down from whatever cloud of elation she'd been walking on and we unconsciously turned to slower and closer steps. We spent a good while at it and I knew one of these days I'd have to ask her to take me to some favorite place of hers for a public version. I wanted to be seen as her date so badly, and when I told her that she blushed all the way to her roots.
"You look so incredible dressed to the nines and even if it's just for me I want others to know what I get."
I rested my cheek on her shoulder, not really expecting a reply. But I got one.
"Can I tell you something? I've always felt good wearing these. I mean, always."
"Bow ties?" I asked, just to make sure.
She nodded. "Mm-hm. Mom insisted we'd look neat and clean at parties and usually made Jon put on some kind of shirt and tie. Then one time - I might have been eight or nine - I asked to wear the same. And she saw no reason to not let me and so we both went in matching getups, bow ties and all. And mom was so happy about the compliments she got for her lovely little ones I felt real happy too. Like I'd done good. And I still feel that way every time I put one on. Not just for you."
That was news. "Kimmy, I had no idea. Why haven't you told me?"
"Was afraid I'd ruin your thing for you."
"You just made it better. Knowing you like it for your own sake."
Her chest shook with a small laugh. "Oh, I do. Haven't you noticed?"
"I promise I will from now on. God, when I keep calling you my ultimate fuck buddy I mean it. Even if you're more than that. So happy to be yours."
There was a half-hearted attempt at teasing. "Fuck buddy?"
"No, literally. I belong to you. And I belong to Lex. And most definitely belong to Kriss. That doesn't change it - I'm yours, Kimberly. To have and to hold and to use."
Kim ran her nose along my neck. "I could use holding you even closer. Don't have words for how I feel."
"Let's go do what I told the others to. Because that's been my plan all along."
She smiled and blew in my ear. "Lead on."
Before my dress even hit the bedroom floor I'd taken out and started to inflate the big wedge to show there was no way she'd spend the night out of my arms and I hadn't time to finish before I felt her face between my legs. Then far too much happened to go into here but I was overjoyed to do every little thing she asked for - just because she actually did. And I made sure to remind her she comes so much harder when she blows and passed her fresh balloons from the nightstand whenever we moved around. None of them survived the night, though some were ridden to death instead of blown to pop and a few were filled by yours truly, either at Kim's request or on my own initiative. Eventually we'd exhausted both the latex supply and each other and sank back sweetly and happily embraced. Then Kim brought up a previous promise.
"You said we could do whatever I want on the show?"
"Of course, as long as it's not illegal or something."
"Well..." She hesitated, then dropped the bomb. "I wanna pop Barbie. Now that you've seen her all dressed up and everything."
I actully wasn't shocked. "Maybe it's time for her to go. Any thoughts on how and when?"
And so we lay there together, plotting the demise of a dummy. As assassination plans go it could have been more sinister, but we took a certain delight in thinking up the most worthwhile scenario.
Come on, you knew it was bound to happen.