Feeling dirty (In the bad way)

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  • AJK64
    Moderator
    • Jun 2018
    • 795

    #16
    Being a looner in and of itself is not shameful or harmful at all. We live in societies that have made sex in general into a shameful thing, when it really isnt. Sex may have evolved as a means of reproduction, but the pleasure that evolved along with that mechanism (evolved to encourage us to have sex, and lots of it to spread our dna as far and wide as possible) is not something that should be demonised. Sex is great. It is pleasurable, and it is actually very healthy. Unless sex becomes an addiction or is not consensual then there is nothing at all shameful or wrong with sex.

    And kinks and fetishes are just a psychological evolution of the sexual drive. Humans are creatures of the mind and psyche. We are what we are because of our mind, and sexual fetishes are linked to our own, complicated minds and experiences. And like sex in general, if a kink is not an addiction that is consuming your life or unless it involves non consensual sexual interaction, then you should never feel bad about having a kink. In fact having a kink makes you lucky as it gives sex an extra dimension of enjoyment. And when it comes to kinks, balloons are among the best, because balloons are literally made to be enjoyed and to bring fun and joy...we just have an extra way that we can enjoy them.

    I have shared my kink with quite a lot of guys now during the last 10 years or so...I have hooked up with guys and have a few regular "cuddle buddies" and they have all thoroughly enjoyed including balloons in our sexy times, despite they themselves not being looners. To quote one of my cuddle buddies "balloons are just such a cool fetish as its great fun and makes me smile just having them around us, and bursting balloons is just enjoyable".

    Of course if your kink is bringing you unhappiness and you dont think you can ever come to terms with it then of course you should see if you can distance yourself from it...aversion therapy style or something. But I honestly believe that denying yourself something that brings you pleasure will never make you happy long term.

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    • blfun98
      Member
      • Nov 2018
      • 93

      #17
      Happened to me too. I realized there are two main things going on here. One is about the natural process of our mind when we have sex, the other is about self acceptance.

      First I think there is a big misconception about the state of mind we have after we climax. It's not "post nut clarity". It's just a natural instict. We are animals and we evolved some mechanism in nature to promote survival strategies. Altough the act of mating is not really energy expensive, it heavily involves hormones and neurotransmitters and our genital system. At some point your body still need time to reset all these chemicals and to produce new sex cells. Additionaly, to accomplish our intercourse, we needed to be stationary in a place for several minutes at the mercy of predators and sexual competitors.

      So, after we finalize our act we might have a strong instict against our sexual urges. After feeling relieved due to the sexual act, our body is warning us that our chance of producing offspring is over for now, and if we keep doing it it's either useless or might be even harmful. What was very arousing in our mind before, now might even disgust us. We are cautious and alert, and either seek protection with our partner, or we have a flight instinct. All of this because reproduction in nature was a dangerous process.

      The second thing is about how our sexual habits and our kink is viewed in our society:

      First there are religious views in our society that can impact our sexuality. Religion should be a healthy part of our lives, making us happier, and more peaceful, and not dictate how we make love.
      Historically there were and still are many religious groups that want to control our lives and subjugates our mind exploiting our innate weaknesses. They know sex has always been a complicate thing, that it always involved some kinds of taboos in every human society. They want to stick their nose in our sex habits, and in every other emotional moment of our lives to try to exploit us. Centuries of their propaganda said that sex is to be done only in a certain way, and they repressed masturbation.

      Then there are the societal views about balloons. For most people around the world a balloon is viewed as a childish object, and its most appropriate setting is a party. A balloon is seen as funny and ridiculous in itself, even when placed in its appropriate setting. What can be the view of the majority of people when this same object is placed out of context? And what if this context is a sexual one, when sex is always been in our natural comedy repertoire?

      So many of us tend to hide our fascination for balloons since we fear negative consequences that our kink might have on our social reputation. Especially if we grew up in an environment that's not really open minded

      With this said we can't let anybody hinder our happiness. We need to know we are free to do whatever we want in our bedroom as long as we are not harming anybody. Balloons are fun and even if they are weird they make us happy and they help us living a healthy and fulfilled sex life. It's important to be fully aware of this to make a huge improvement in self acceptance.

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      • JCB
        Senior Member
        • Feb 2021
        • 146

        #18
        It's a really wet miserable day here & that usually drives me to a serious balloon day, kissing, cuddling & blowing up balloons. Sure the balloon fetish is a bit offbeat but it makes me & many others feel good, happy, naturally at ease with their own identity & soul. Balloons bring metaphorically rays of sunshine & clear skies to ones life. Thousands of people around the world have a balloon fetish it's harmless it's deeply satisfying & intimate & all those people are simply healthy normal people that have a thing for balloons. Others who do not understand or deride us & our fetish are the ones who have a problem. We're not hurting anybody & as fetishes go it's one of the nicest out there. There is absolutely nothing to feel dirty & ashamed about. Keep enjoying your balloons without any shame.๐ŸŽˆ

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        • CronchyHmmmm
          Junior Member
          • Jun 2024
          • 3

          #19
          Originally posted by OneTrickPony
          It's taking me sometime accept that I'm a looner, that's this is just a fetish, that's I'm not hurting anyone or doing anything illegal, it's just a private aspect of myself that doesn't define me or make me entirely.
          But my mind still plays with my consciousness, and gives me some, bad times.
          After I *please* myself, the full consciousness appears, and makes me feel so dirty, like I shouldn't be allowed in society because of this, that I don't deserve my partner, or anything, bad sporadic thoughts.
          I know that isn't true at all, but I still feel weird, anyone has any tips on how to deal with this? Did you pass through this too?

          You are obviously not the only one who feels that way. I am going through the same thing, i was gonna make a post asking people how dealt with the guilt but you beat me to it xD.

          Ahhhh i related a lot to what you said. Not being able to accept it, the fact that its a private thing that doesnt define me and that i'm doing nothing wrong/illegal but still feel bad about it.

          I knew about me having the fetish since i was a teen, but never did anything/didn't experiment. I was super phobic so i didn't dare to do anything irl (plus it was back when covid had us all locked in so it's not like i could have tried). I had watched videos (that had an effect on me, obviously) but i kinda convinced myself that it didn't count or that i was pretending that they had an effect on me (why would i pretend? I have no idea). I also repressed any thoughts i had about balloons, or would only allow myself to think about them on very specific ocassions for a veeery small amount of time, like it was the most tabboo and dirty thing in the world. Then again, that was very rare. Fast forward to 2023 when i started exposure and.... you can imagine my shock when my body reacted in a way i didn't expect it to. Discoveries were made and breakdowns happened XD. From that point on, the guilt has been getting worse and worse. If i could get rid of my fetish, trust me, i would. But apparently it isnt going anywhere anytime soon๐Ÿ˜….

          This is the reason why i refuse to try anything. If just thinking about it makes me feel horrible, i dont wanna know what exploring is gonna feel like๐Ÿ˜…. It even just hits me randomly from time to time. That has also been one of the reasons why i stopped doing exposure for a good while (getting back at it slowly though). I have tried a few things (almost exclusively sfw) while a bit drunk so my conciousness wouldnt scream at me but thats obviously not a long term solution (it didnt really work anyway since i did feel very guilty when sober).

          I mean, i was shamed a LOT for liking balloons as a (phobic) child so me liking balloons as an adult, while still phobic and especially in a bit of a "different" way is... not easy for me to process.

          Talking to two of my friends (who are also looners) has helped quite a bit to "normalise" it in my brain. Kinda made me feel like i wasnt alone or that it isnt as bad as i think it is. Snooping around the forum has helped too. Bottom line is, you're not alone, i think both of us should realise that we're doing nothing wrong, we're not hurting anyone, it's such a tiny part of us that is under our control and has little to no significance bc it doesnt define who we are as people. And at the end of the day, there are WAYYYY worse things in this world than liking balloons. I wish that were the worst of our problems xD /lighthearted

          (P.s. if you need someone to talk about it, my dms are open)

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