Ay Y'all, wassup?
I'm Nova, you can call me Xy too, I'm a looner from Brazil (i'm stuck here please help), have 18 Earth rides around the sun under my belt, and uhm! Yeah, that's about it about myself....oh yeah I'm also kinda bi-curious but straight enough i guess.
about that side of me! This all started as a kid, as most looners do, with a crippling fear of balloon popping. I've always been fairly sensitive to sound despite apparently not being autistic, so my heart skipped some 4 beats whenever someone came near with a balloon, and skipped another 12 when it popped.
years went by, I was 10-11 now, starting to slowly shift gears into puberty. One day I was alone after class, seeing everyone walk away with their backpacks while mine was a mess. I got more and more anxious because I was dead scared of both darkness and being alone...and then I felt something weird.
i ignored it and kept getting everything messily inside my backpack, finished with my heart racing, and...it was still there, that weird feeling.
i sat down on a chair against the wall so no one would see me, pulled down my uniform shorts...yup, something was wrong with my fella down there, it was weirdly...standing up? I tried finicking it down with my hand, but an even weirder feeling went up my body as I touched it.
what followed was the first time I "helped myself" if I could say that. I went home that day thinking about what the hell happened, and kept doing so until about a week later, when I was alone in my grandma's house.
i started thinking how could I get that feeling again...how could I make myself feel anxious...feel scared...I hopped on youtube and searched around for videos of balloons being handled and especially popped.
I am quite ashamed to admit that, due to my naive brain not knowing things yet, the first videos that I watched for the most part of some 5-6 months were of kids, but I completely stopped after I understood what I was doing...
Regardless of that misfortune of naiveness I kept on trying to find new videos, at the time (and even today) I was awkward to even try to get balloons at all to play with, so videos would have to do.
I kept that going for years until about 2018, where I started getting weirdly...uncomfortable with watching videos of grown women popping balloons, like- isn't that bad? Wrong?
Still, I kept trying to find videos of people handling and popping balloons with their faces hidden, mostly just hands and feet, or sitting on them with their backs to the camera...but it didn't quite feel the same as a video with full body and all.
in 2019 I was scrolling around, trying to find videos to "use", when I found this...different video:
it was a video of a person popping balloons, yes, but...it wasn't a person! It was this...weird...colorful...mascot of sorts.
The person inside was covered in what seemed like a suit resembling a deer, or something like that, but it wasn't just a normal deer, it was immensely varied in colors and it seemed weirdly...cartoon-ish in style, if I could say that.
This channel was a channel called Cute Squeaks, and that deer I would later learn to be called Callista. That was both how I started really getting into my fetish, and eventually discovered the Looner fandom, but also it was how I found out about another fandom I'd join 3 years later: I'd stumbled into the darker side of the Furry Fandom by complete accident.
Cute Squeaks led me to one or another channel, but eventually I'd switch more towards written content than visual stuff due to lack of what to watch that piqued my "interest" well enough.
it would only be in 2021 when I'd get Twitter, checking every once a while for furry-looner art, but it was in 2022 where I properly made an account on there specifically dedicated to...the stuff that most would rather not see.
I found this forum about last year or so, and have lurked ever since! I'm a writer (although completely amateur) so maybe I'll try my pa- sorry i mean hand at writing something more...naughty, and maybe cross that with the whole "being a furry" thing if any interest whatsoever happens to appear XD
i'm rather introverted and shy, so I might not post much or comment, but I'm here
Also fun fact about the nickname: Nova is the name of an "OC" of sorts I specifically created to represent my fun side, the name came from Supernova, a phenomenon where a star quickly expands and then just as quickly explodes and goes back to it's original size, destroying itself.
I do suppose you can figure what got me to think of Supernovas, no?
Anyways I yap too much, see y'all around! Cheers!!
I'm Nova, you can call me Xy too, I'm a looner from Brazil (i'm stuck here please help), have 18 Earth rides around the sun under my belt, and uhm! Yeah, that's about it about myself....oh yeah I'm also kinda bi-curious but straight enough i guess.
about that side of me! This all started as a kid, as most looners do, with a crippling fear of balloon popping. I've always been fairly sensitive to sound despite apparently not being autistic, so my heart skipped some 4 beats whenever someone came near with a balloon, and skipped another 12 when it popped.
years went by, I was 10-11 now, starting to slowly shift gears into puberty. One day I was alone after class, seeing everyone walk away with their backpacks while mine was a mess. I got more and more anxious because I was dead scared of both darkness and being alone...and then I felt something weird.
i ignored it and kept getting everything messily inside my backpack, finished with my heart racing, and...it was still there, that weird feeling.
i sat down on a chair against the wall so no one would see me, pulled down my uniform shorts...yup, something was wrong with my fella down there, it was weirdly...standing up? I tried finicking it down with my hand, but an even weirder feeling went up my body as I touched it.
what followed was the first time I "helped myself" if I could say that. I went home that day thinking about what the hell happened, and kept doing so until about a week later, when I was alone in my grandma's house.
i started thinking how could I get that feeling again...how could I make myself feel anxious...feel scared...I hopped on youtube and searched around for videos of balloons being handled and especially popped.
I am quite ashamed to admit that, due to my naive brain not knowing things yet, the first videos that I watched for the most part of some 5-6 months were of kids, but I completely stopped after I understood what I was doing...
Regardless of that misfortune of naiveness I kept on trying to find new videos, at the time (and even today) I was awkward to even try to get balloons at all to play with, so videos would have to do.
I kept that going for years until about 2018, where I started getting weirdly...uncomfortable with watching videos of grown women popping balloons, like- isn't that bad? Wrong?
Still, I kept trying to find videos of people handling and popping balloons with their faces hidden, mostly just hands and feet, or sitting on them with their backs to the camera...but it didn't quite feel the same as a video with full body and all.
in 2019 I was scrolling around, trying to find videos to "use", when I found this...different video:
it was a video of a person popping balloons, yes, but...it wasn't a person! It was this...weird...colorful...mascot of sorts.
The person inside was covered in what seemed like a suit resembling a deer, or something like that, but it wasn't just a normal deer, it was immensely varied in colors and it seemed weirdly...cartoon-ish in style, if I could say that.
This channel was a channel called Cute Squeaks, and that deer I would later learn to be called Callista. That was both how I started really getting into my fetish, and eventually discovered the Looner fandom, but also it was how I found out about another fandom I'd join 3 years later: I'd stumbled into the darker side of the Furry Fandom by complete accident.
Cute Squeaks led me to one or another channel, but eventually I'd switch more towards written content than visual stuff due to lack of what to watch that piqued my "interest" well enough.
it would only be in 2021 when I'd get Twitter, checking every once a while for furry-looner art, but it was in 2022 where I properly made an account on there specifically dedicated to...the stuff that most would rather not see.
I found this forum about last year or so, and have lurked ever since! I'm a writer (although completely amateur) so maybe I'll try my pa- sorry i mean hand at writing something more...naughty, and maybe cross that with the whole "being a furry" thing if any interest whatsoever happens to appear XD
i'm rather introverted and shy, so I might not post much or comment, but I'm here
Also fun fact about the nickname: Nova is the name of an "OC" of sorts I specifically created to represent my fun side, the name came from Supernova, a phenomenon where a star quickly expands and then just as quickly explodes and goes back to it's original size, destroying itself.
I do suppose you can figure what got me to think of Supernovas, no?
Anyways I yap too much, see y'all around! Cheers!!
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