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Old 09-11-2018, 03:44 PM
loonerfun00 loonerfun00 is offline
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Post Introducing Natalie part 2 (Done)
next is Roman, a male with a balloon fetish, he's worse than Nathan when it comes to balloons popping and trying to get over his fear isn't going to be an easy task. paradoxically, he enjoys seeing women bursting balloons.

i'm looking for feedback and criticism. please if you find anything disturbing, worth questioning, wrong or any logical mistake within the story, point them out! i have to know to get better at writing. thank you for reading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~here you go ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Just when the neck touched her lips, she removed it out of her mouth and tied it. She blew all of them to the max with only 1 accident, and decided to leave the shards on the floor. All of that was intentional; although Nathan tried his best at hiding it, Natalie knew how scared he was when it came to balloons popping. She looked at the net.

“Screw that, father will do fine without seeing it on camera, mum’s ideas are sometimes, ugh…” She thought for a second and came up with a better plan.

She taped some of the balloons all over the house, let some loose on the floor and took the rest with her to a room. Which room? Nathan’s of course. She taped them on his windows, walls and let the rest on the floor.

“Happy birthday, I guess?”

After half an hour of studying, Natalie got out of her room to have some water, she glanced at her work and noticed a balloon that was way smaller than the rest, it must be deflating she thought. After closer inspection, she realized that the knot was halfway done and air was leaking out, so she untied it and put it back into her mouth. It quickly got filled back by Natalie’s mighty lungs but when the neck touched her lips, she didn’t take it out, instead, she thought for a second with a smile on her face.

“Should I?”

The young girl remembered that she was alone in the house,
Her smile was getting wider from anticipation, she drew a slow breath through her nose and after a slight pause, started releasing air very slowly.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhh squea..ea..eaaaa......craaAABAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNG

The balloon went off like an imploding canon, the explosion was so LOUD and VIOLENT it sent the schoolgirl’s blond hair flying in the air, the balloon got obliterated by Natalie’s breath and the shards were everywhere: her hair, the floor, the table, and some even got stuck on the wall .
Natalie jumped, her heart racing, and a grin formed on her face.

“Nathan’s in for a treat.”

Some hours pass by accompanied with 2 tremendous explosions which sent shock waves through the walls.
Nathan is walking towards the door, it was 9 in the evening and both Nathan and his mother have been driving in the dark. Nathan’s mother had told him that she was getting something from the car, obviously the cake, and that he should just get in the house. Natalie was prepared, the lights were off and she was waiting patiently on the couch.
Keys got inserted, rotated, and then the door opened.
Nathan walked inside the dark house and was suddenly greeted with bright light and Natalie in front of him. Nathan’s mother followed up and placed the cake on the table.
Natalie started chanting happy birthday with her mother who was getting her cell phone out of her purse. Nathan looked around and saw the decoration; he smiled and seemed grateful at first, until he noticed the balloon shards on the floor and table. They reminded him of something important; among any party decoration were balloons, and balloons explode. Nathan wasn’t nervous yet:

“Maybe Natalie had burst some while I was away? After all, she would always explode the balloons that mum brought after work…”he thought.

Until he made a huge mistake; he looked at the balloons again and now, well, now he was at the verge of peeing himself. All of the balloons were inflated so much that they were basically ticking time bombs, waiting for any excuse to set themselves off like explosives.
The rest of the evening went fine; Natalie was excited, her mum was recording everything but not a word came out from Nathan the entire evening. Everything looked fine until the tired woman decided to stop filming and have a seat on the sofa. As she lowered her bottom the balloon right above her went off like a bomb. Nathan thought the explosion would leave a hole in the wall, but it was just a balloon. Natalie and the married woman didn’t even flinch, balloons were part of mum’s daily job after all. Nathan on the other hand, who at first didn’t seem to have flinched too from the outside, felt cold and was shaking, his heart seemed like it was pumping mercury through his veins. Mum took a look at the batch of balloons above her head and recalled that she has asked for a balloon drop.

“Natalie why didn’t you make a balloon drop? I wanted just a small one for the video.”

Nathan’s eyes widened with fear, he knew that balloon drop equals balloons popping, at least that’s what his mother told him.

“Mum a balloon drop takes a while to set up, and I had some homework to do, this isn’t that bad though.” Natalie made up that excuse in order to hide the fact that she still doesn’t know how to set up a balloon drop.

“No no it’s fine sweetie, never mind.” Her mom replied excited, looking at the messages she was receiving from her husband.

Nathan hurried to his bedroom, hoping to escape the minefield in the living room. The situation wasn’t that bad, it could have gotten worse if the balloon drop had taken place he thought to himself. As he was opening the door he was greeted with a larger minefield, he turned around to grab the door knob and saw his sister looking at him smiling. Natalie gave him a wink and closed her bedroom’s door.
Nathan slowly entered his room which was filled with balloons.

“That bitch, if only she knew..” muffled Nathan.

Miraculously enough, no bombardment happened during the night.



The next day was a Saturday, no school for the kids but a long day of work for the mother.
Natalie was already dressed with high heels and formal clothing, since she had to attend her friend’s graduation.

“Natalie! Can you please take the banners down, but be sure not to rip them apart. Take the balloons down and pop them. Bye”

“Will do mum, bye.”

Nathan was still in his room, he thought on how to escape or make something up to avoid the clean up. He messaged his friend asking him if he wanted to go out, and waited for an answer. Just a second later he received an answer, it was “BANG”; Natalie had already started to burst the balloons. Nathan jumped out of his skin and almost let go of his phone.
Natalie grabbed a balloon and went next to Nathan’s bedroom door, she placed 4 of her fingernails gently on the tightest part of the balloon and started the screech.

Squeaaaa…..eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……..eaaaaaaa………… ……..eaaa……………..eaa……..eaPOWWW!!!

Natalie was surely having fun. Nathan on the other hand had his fingers tightly in his ears .

“why isn’t she using a damn needle and get it over with!!” Nathan thought.

Natalie grabbed a second balloon looking for the knot, it was very tightly shut. She lets it drift down to the floor and grabbed another one, this one’s knot was easy to untie. Natalie undid the knot and let a lot of the air out. She placed the balloon to where it had originated from and started blowing.
Nathan was shaking, trembling, his mind racing and his fingers cold. He listened to the blowing and thought: “oh no.”
And with that Natalie opened the door and entered Nathan’s room holding the balloon by its neck with her fingers.

“come on Nathan, come help me make these balloons go BANG.” Natalie was trying so hard to hide her laughter, she was smiling and at the verge of bursting out laughing like the balloon she was holding.

Nathan who thought Natalie didn’t know of his fear yet tried to act cool and casual:

“I have better things to do, why don’t you just pop them faster? I need to study now.”

Nathan’s eyes were glued to the wet mouthpiece and to Natalie’s fingernails. They were weapons of mass destruction he thought.
Natalie just had enough of his acting and jumped on his bed sending him lying down on his back. She placed the balloon in her mouth and resumed her blowing.

“Nathan, isn’t there something you have to finally admit?”

“What the fuck are you doing? Get out of my room”

“You’re swearing now? Spoiled kid”

HHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH

The balloon was starting to form a neck.

“Fuck off Natalie!”

Nathan pushed his sister away from him and succeeded in getting away from her. He stood up and looked at her for a second. Natalie rushed to the door before he could react and instead of blocking the door as Nathan thought, she opened it and started getting more balloons inside Nathan’s room. Natalie lifted one of her feet and lowered the spiky end of her heel on the straining balloon. Just as they both contacted, the balloon disappeared and was shredded into pieces. The young girl resumed her blowing and started lowering her feet on the next balloon.
Nathan was mad, his sister was taking advantage of him and decided he wouldn’t give up without a fight. Sadly though, that fight didn’t last long because the balloon in Natalie’s lips was starting to form a giant neck. Nathan couldn’t hold it any longer and placed his fingers in his ears and started to cringe waiting for the bomb. Natalie walked very slowly towards him while stomping on every balloon in front of her and when she was inches away from him, she took the giant bomb out of her mouth and looked at him funnily:

“Do balloons make you scared Nathan?”

“y… y.. e.. yes, yes the do” Nathan’s eyes were forming tears.

Natalie’s eyes widened and started to shine green, her smile widened and showed a sign of victory. She placed the balloon back inside her mouth and blew hard and fast, all the while staring at him with her green eyes and a huge smile. She drew her fingernails across the body of the balloon which started to make screeching noise. Natalie blew steadily; the balloon was kissing her lips hard, trying to free itself. Suddenly it exploded violently sending Natalie’s hair dancing around her head. Nathan was close to crying, Natalie was laughing and a phone started to ring, it was Nathan’s.

"I think you should answer your phone Nathan, if you’re still capable of."

Nathan answered and tried sounding cool as if his worst nightmare wasn’t becoming reality. It was his friend, who he had messaged earlier, he’s inviting him over saying he got his new console and wanted to try it out.

“Go have fun Nathan, I won’t be popping anymore balloons now, and when you’ll be back I promise you won’t find any balloon in this house.” She shook her head, “ I can’t believe a boy can be that scared of balloons, we’ll have to work on that Nathan, maybe sometime later I can get you to explode a balloon yourself” and with that she left him alone in his room.

Last edited by loonerfun00; 12-11-2018 at 01:08 AM. Reason: i thought i did something wrong, but it turns out i am blind. reverted it to original form.
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  #2  
Old 11-11-2018, 05:01 AM
Bobywan Bobywan is offline
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Default Re: Introducing Natalie part 2 (Done)
This is so good! Natalie seems the perfect MC to help a poor guy get over his balloon fears...or terrorise him. Can't wait for the next chapter!
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Old 11-11-2018, 09:37 AM
loonerfun00 loonerfun00 is offline
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Default Re: Introducing Natalie part 2 (Done)
thank you for the comment. it was hard for me to build up her personality. When i just started writing, i didn't know what i would end up with.
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Old 11-11-2018, 12:20 PM
BlowAndInhale BlowAndInhale is offline
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Default Re: Introducing Natalie part 2 (Done)
Great work, man. Keep it up.
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