Coming out to friends and family?

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  • fastlooner
    Junior Member
    • Oct 2017
    • 23

    Coming out to friends and family?

    While I think this forum talks a lot about telling a romantic partner about the fetish, I'm curious about looners that tell their family and friends about their fetish. For me personally, I don't think I'd ever be able to tell most of my friends and especially my family because I'd be terrified of awkward situations that would happen at birthday parties or concerts or just walking down the street. I'd love to hear from looners have have come out to other people and it affected their relationship with them.
  • perchedontheloon
    Member
    • Dec 2014
    • 63

    #2
    Re: Coming out to friends and family?

    I’ve told 5 friends, I felt that I needed to tell them. Not out of a “here’s what I’m into” motivation, rather I felt this fetish was a negative aspect of my life and something that I wanted to bring into the light. My legs were shaking as I told them, it wasn’t easy but they were nothing but respectful. They didn’t know it was a thing, didn’t really ask questions, but listened. I still have deep friendships with them all and have never been ridiculed. Over the years, we have all shared deeply personal details and it’s only strengthened our friendships.

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    • craggy2012
      Senior Member
      • Jan 2012
      • 824

      #3
      Re: Coming out to friends and family?

      Whilst I never came out an confessed all to my parents early on in life- despite their best efforts of giving us the Spainish Inquesition treatment. A few close friends found out what my missus and I get up to later on.

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      • AuroraFox
        Member
        • Nov 2015
        • 54

        #4
        Re: Coming out to friends and family?

        I've never understood why people feel the need to openly tell other people about their sexual preferences - to me, it's something that you should keep between you and a partner (or places such as dedication forums, like this one). I support that people should freely indulge in their fetishes, but I know if one of my friends came up to me and said something along the lines of "I like to get myself off with xxxxxx object", my reaction would be WTF?! Why did I need to know that?

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        • SusieDK
          Senior Member
          • Dec 2017
          • 201

          #5
          Re: Coming out to friends and family?

          Originally posted by AuroraFox
          I've never understood why people feel the need to openly tell other people about their sexual preferences - to me, it's something that you should keep between you and a partner (or places such as dedication forums, like this one). I support that people should freely indulge in their fetishes, but I know if one of my friends came up to me and said something along the lines of "I like to get myself off with xxxxxx object", my reaction would be WTF?! Why did I need to know that?
          I feel the exact same way. In 'real world' sexual matters belong to the private sphere as far as I see it. However what others feel they need to do is perfectly ok with me as long as they respect that I don't.

          Sincerely
          Susie

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          • Micks101
            Senior Member
            • Jan 2017
            • 245

            #6
            Re: Coming out to friends and family?

            I haven't told anyone at all about my fetish, and honestly I like to keep it that way because, like many of us on here, I don't feel the need to openly express my sexuality to others - it's none of their business. I don't recall any family or friends coming up to me and having a full blown disclosure about what they are into.

            Of course, the discussion would occur in a romantic relationship, but I feel that's as far as it needs to go. Everyone should be able to enjoy whatever they feel is right, but certainly it's a private and individual/couple endeavour

            Comment

            • Bubble Boy :-P

              #7
              Re: Coming out to friends and family?

              I certainly don't come out to just anybody...I am VERY careful with whome i tell...only a select few of my friends know of my actual loon fetish...that being said, those ive told have always reacted with positive curiosity & fascination. I mean compared to the stuff thats out there, this stuff is pretty tame...plus my friends are quite open minded. But i can say for a fact that im still definitely open about my love for balloons in general. My regular circle of friends just thinks i have an unnatural love & obsession with balloons & balloon stuff to which they all find cute, charming & harmless

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              • fastlooner
                Junior Member
                • Oct 2017
                • 23

                #8
                Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                Wow, I'm surprised people are so divided on this issue. I guess I'm inclined to tell some of my friends about the fetish because it is such a big part of my life, and I feel like if I come out to at least a few of them then I won't judge myself for being a sexual freak anymore.

                Comment

                • marja

                  #9
                  Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                  A fetish is something personal. In my opinion family doesn't need to know about other family members' sexual interests.

                  Telling friends is slightly different. I guess it depends on the kind of person you are. If you only have sex within a relationship, than I guess it is only useful to tell your partner about it. When you are more easy going and have more than one sex partner, than please be more open about it and tell your friends about it, so that you can profit from it.

                  Also as some others suggested, copy what others say/do. Do your friends tell about their sexual pleasures? Tell them yours! Don't you want to hear theirs? Most likely they are also not interested in yours.

                  Comment

                  • Bubblyzzz
                    Senior Member
                    • Jul 2017
                    • 266

                    #10
                    Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                    I keep my fetish to myself. Some of my friends know I like balloons, but not in a fetishy way. They all think it's a cute thing - I assume it's easier for girls than guys, so, apologies, guys - I feel your pain.

                    Sexually, my partners with whom I've shared my balloon desires with have been open about their kinky sides and there's a mutual understanding that we won't share each other's interests

                    I would never want my casual friends, co workers or family to know what makes me horny. It's just not in my make up. For me there's no purpose in doing that.

                    That's my side of things!

                    Comment

                    • b0f0s0f
                      Senior Member
                      • Nov 2016
                      • 296

                      #11
                      Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                      Originally posted by Bubblyzzz
                      They all think it's a cute thing - I assume it's easier for girls than guys, so, apologies, guys - I feel your pain.
                      Thank you for understanding I'm frequently envious of women with this fetish since they could get away with practically flaunting it without so much as arousing (heh) suspicion. Balloons kind of fall into the same category as flowers, so it's completely ordinary for adult women to love them and even play with them, but somewhat unusual for a man to do the same. I know some people will just say "don't worry about it" but I'm an extremely self-conscious person and I can't help but assume everyone else notices all the same things I would notice.

                      Comment

                      • fastlooner
                        Junior Member
                        • Oct 2017
                        • 23

                        #12
                        Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                        Originally posted by b0f0s0f
                        Thank you for understanding I'm frequently envious of women with this fetish since they could get away with practically flaunting it without so much as arousing (heh) suspicion. Balloons kind of fall into the same category as flowers, so it's completely ordinary for adult women to love them and even play with them, but somewhat unusual for a man to do the same. I know some people will just say "don't worry about it" but I'm an extremely self-conscious person and I can't help but assume everyone else notices all the same things I would notice.
                        I feel the same way, it seems like girls of any age can enjoy playing with balloons or having balloons around, but with guys it stops being accepted once puberty hits. It's ironic since puberty is when the fetish develops

                        Comment

                        • loonerdude44
                          Inflatable Enthusiast
                          • Oct 2017
                          • 185

                          #13
                          Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                          Originally posted by b0f0s0f
                          Thank you for understanding I'm frequently envious of women with this fetish since they could get away with practically flaunting it without so much as arousing (heh) suspicion. Balloons kind of fall into the same category as flowers, so it's completely ordinary for adult women to love them and even play with them, but somewhat unusual for a man to do the same. I know some people will just say "don't worry about it" but I'm an extremely self-conscious person and I can't help but assume everyone else notices all the same things I would notice.
                          What woman (or man for that matter) plays with flowers? How would one even achieve that?

                          Comment

                          • b0f0s0f
                            Senior Member
                            • Nov 2016
                            • 296

                            #14
                            Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                            I was somewhat ambiguous but I was referring to balloons

                            Comment

                            • LoudPopper
                              Senior Member
                              • Jan 2016
                              • 228

                              #15
                              Re: Coming out to friends and family?

                              I agree, I find it kinda interesting that this is such a divided topic. Personally, as a general rule, I wouldn't share with my friends what I am into sexually. And honestly, I'd be every bit as confused and taken aback if one of my friends decided to tell me what their kink is as well. I mean, I don't judge those of you all who feel as if this is something that they must share because it is such an important part of your life. While I never would, and I agree that balloons are a very important part of my life, the only think I could think of that could motivate someone to share is something to closely attached to their sexuality is akin to someone sharing their sexual orientation. Correct me if I'm wrong of course, but whether you are heterosexual or homosexual (or somewhere else along the spectrum) is something quintessential to one's personal identity and how they even relate to others in life. If someone felt that loving balloons is something as close to their personal identity as one's sexual orientation is, it would make sense to me that they would feel compelled to share.

                              While balloons are very important to me, I see them as a fetish and an important part of my sexual identity, but in my world sharing that much about me wouldn't extend beyond my sexual partners. Currently, my wife knows. I've shared it with a girlfriend in college once, and three women I dated during medical school but that's it. All of those girlfriends except one, have been respectful of keeping my secret. I actually wrote about it in an earlier post that my one crazy ex actually shared my balloon fetish without my consent with a number of our mutual high-school friends and acquaintances. I was very upset about this, but to be honest nothing has come of it.

                              In one special case, I shared it with a female friend of mine but that's because she used to live in my condo where I would regularly play with balloons. When I left and she continued to live there, she came back to me with a number of questions about why she was always finding balloon shards around the house. Because heroin is sometimes transported in balloons, her first thought was that I was on drugs. Fortunately, she and I were close enough friends that I didn't feel too awkward about sharing what was really going on. On top of that, although she and I never dated, there was always a lot of sexual tension in that friendship and we were casual sexual partners for a short period of time. I actually wrote a balloon story about her on here once. http://blowtopop.net/showthread.php?p=46426#post46426 A couple of times, before my wife stepped into the picture she and I would sometimes get together and pop balloons for fun. My friend kinda found it a fun activity to begin with, plus the added layer that I was getting sexually aroused by it was something that she enjoyed as well. She and I are still friends to this day, and our paths occasionally cross due to our professions, but I try to keep my interactions to a minimum given our history out of respect to my wife. She sometimes sends me pictures of balloons to say hi, and once or twice has proposed that we get together and pop balloons like old times. I don't do drugs or drink, and sometimes I think to myself, jeez I would love to have a friend that I could just unwind with by getting together and popping balloons (like how people get together with friends to have a drink). But I always decline because I don't want to entertain the idea of stoking sexual tension between us again because I don't want to disrespect my wife.
                              Last edited by LoudPopper; 08-01-2018, 20:54.

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